Multiverse
by GeorgeGlass
Summary: The wolves were distracted from rescuing Bella from Laurent, and Edward lost her forever.  The Cullens have created a solution that will send Edward on an incredible journey through the multiverse searching for his lost love.
1. Living Death

**This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction. I had so many various ideas for a story, and I wanted to use all of them. Eventually, I thought of a way to do exactly that, and this tale was born. This story is going to start out morbid and depressing, but it will get better. Please feel free to leave reviews including any comments, suggestions, or criticisms you have. I ask only that you try to keep your criticisms constructive in nature.**

**And away we go…! I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter One – Living Death

A familiar sound interrupted my thoughts. I let out a low snarl as I opened my eyes. Of course, I had not slept in more than a century, but even keeping my eyes open was too much effort to bear. I crossed the room to answer my phone before first ring had even begun. As always, I noticed the subtle sounds and lights of the phone's screen lighting up before the accompanying noise began. I had made no attempt to maintain the human façade these past several months. In truth, I had made no attempt to do anything whatever.

"What is it, Carlisle?" I had recognized the number before answering. I knew that my rudeness was upsetting to my family, but I could no longer bring myself to be pleasant. My family had drawn out this unendurable agony for far too long already. I had stopped answering calls from the rest of the family. I had nothing to say to any of them. I answered Carlisle's calls only because I hoped each time that he was finally ready to release me from this senseless promise and allow me to finally begin my eternal.. Rest? Nothingness? Whatever awaited me on the other side, it was impossible for it to be worse than the pain I suffered here.

"Hello Edward," replied the only father I could remember. Although I knew my tone must have pained him, he displayed no signs of this distress in his own voice. I felt a small twinge of guilt for being so endlessly cold each time we spoke, but it passed so quickly that I would never have even registered the emotion existing when I was human. Even if I did not loathe the promise he'd thrust upon me to the extent that I had a difficult time feeling shame for my actions toward my family, the feeling would still have passed just as quickly. Each and every emotion that I had felt had done the same, apart from the crushing misery that had consumed my existence ever since…

But I couldn't think about that. I would resume thinking about it as soon as I dispensed with Carlisle, unless, of course, he was calling with the only shred of good news he or anyone else could possibly provide to me. I needed to be released. There was no other answer. I knew it even when I made the promise to Carlisle. I had made the promise only because I was certain it was the best way to ensure the relative safety of the rest of my family, but I was certain that I would break it soon. There was nothing left but pain. I no longer felt even the thirst, which must surely have been incomprehensible by now, since I hadn't fed in months. There was only pain.

"Please come home, son," Carlisle continued in a businesslike tone. This was curious, because each time any of them had contacted me with this same request, their tone had been one of pleading, worry, anguish. Carlisle's tone was that of someone shopping for shoes, asking the salesman to please check the back room for a different size. Still, I was annoyed that he had called me to have this conversation yet again.

"Carlisle, you know I have no reason to return. There is no longer anything for me in that town." I could hear how hollow my voice sounded. I had begun to believe, in recent months, that I may indeed have had a soul after all, and that it had died along with…

"Edward, there _is_ something for you here. I wish to explain it to you in person. This is what I asked you to wait for. It is done. Your promise has been kept. Please come home to see what we've been working on."

I didn't answer immediately. This was the call after all. The one I'd hoped to receive for so long. All I had to do was go back to _that town_ one last time, hear Carlisle's meaningless words for a brief time, perhaps an hour or two, and then I could finally be freed. Two minutes passed in silence. Three. Four. After eight minutes, I realized that this was my last day on Earth. In a few hours, I would finally pass over into whatever awaited. Although I felt no joy, I laughed. Carlisle continued to sit patiently on the phone while I laughed for three more minutes.

"Very well, Carlisle. I'll be there soon."

"Please feed before you get here. I cannot explain now, but Alice has told me that you will be unable to wait even a few moments to feed once I've given you all of the details. Plus, I do not think it would do for you to be so thirsty when Esme sees you for the last time." Carlisle hung up before I had time to answer. I was shocked. He had confessed that this would be the last time I would see Esme; indeed, Alice had confirmed that I would leave immediately to die after hearing Carlisle's explanation. Why go through the motions? Why wouldn't he release me from my promise now?

I sighed. I could think of no excuse not to go and say goodbye to my family. I would need to go to _that town_ again in any event, if Carlisle had held up his end of the bargain, and I knew that he had. Even if I went straight to the wolves, I should still feed first. It would not do to lose control and kill any of the Quileutes because I was so thirsty. That would break the treaty and force my family to stay far away from _that town_ forever. There was no reason that they should suffer. If I was willing to have them suffer, I would have gone to the Volturi months ago rather than bargaining with Carlisle. I did have to admit to the logic of his plan. He was confident that he could negotiate with the wolves to end my life for me, since he had been the one to arrange for the original treaty. If the wolves killed me, I wouldn't need to go to the Volturi, and they wouldn't need to be reminded of my family's existence, nor be informed of how I had broken our highest law by telling – I gritted my teeth and forced myself to finish this thought – By telling _her_ of the existence of our kind. My family would be implicated in this scandal, no matter that the perceived danger was already over, simply because they had allowed her to live as long as she had with this knowledge. The wolves, on the other hand, would be all too happy for an excuse to kill one of us without breaking the treaty, and they would gladly remain silent about what had transpired. My family was much safer this way.

I had been surprised when Carlisle had told me that the wolves were back, but grateful for the convenience this offered. I had been less grateful when he had informed me of his stipulation. It seemed that the convenience of a death at the hands of the wolves came at a price. Carlisle was only willing to negotiate with the wolves if I would permit him time to put together some mysterious plan that he was certain would change my mind about wanting to end my… Life? Whatever it was that I did. I couldn't bear the idea of living for a few weeks, months, possibly years. He had been wise to bring Alice with him when he told me of this plan, since I could pull from her mind her exceedingly clear visions of my family being hunted by the Volturi, of Esme being tortured by Jane. I had agreed, under duress, but agreed nevertheless.

And so it was that I had spent the past three years living in constant torture. Over and over again I had replayed the events that had led to the demise of my existence. How could I have been so foolish? It was my fault that she was gone. Mine, and mine alone. I had done this to her. I had left her unprotected. I had known that there was a threat from the remainder of James's coven, and I had foolishly underestimated it. I had believed that the only real threat came from Victoria, and I had wasted my time trying, and badly, to track her. How could I have been so blind? I had seen in their thoughts that her blood had tempted them. I must have been comparing the temptation they felt for her blood to my own. There was, of course, no comparison, but I still should have realized that she seemed like a gourmet dessert prepared by the world's best chef to them!

I grimaced as I looked in the mirror. My eyes were the deepest shade of black I'd ever observed, either in nature or in anything manmade. The irises were actually darker than the pupils, giving me a more eerie appearance than was customary even for our kind. Although it was not possible for me to lose weight, even after long periods of starvation, my appearance was still somehow gaunt. The dark circles under my eyes were deeper in shade, and my face looked weary. For the first time, my ageless features appeared much older than seventeen. It had been only three years, but my face told the tale of decades of torment. I grudgingly acknowledged that feeding must be a priority, and no sooner did I think the words than I became aware of an excruciating burning in my throat that was almost as severe as the burn I'd felt almost a century ago when I'd undergone the change.

Still, I could wait a few more moments to feed. I looked over my attire, the exact same clothing I'd been wearing three years ago when I'd received the news of her death. Of course, I did not have bodily fluids to contribute to poor odor and I had scarcely moved at all, but I had hunted a handful of times, and all of the time I spent lying completely still and agonizing over my every decision had caused a thick layer of dust and dirt to accumulate on my apparel. I certainly needed to dress a bit more suitably. Alice would never forgive me if I wore these clothes to die.

I'd had no reason to feel compelled to clean anything. Since I'd had no visitors in years, there was no reason to keep up appearances. I had rented a small studio apartment a few hundred miles from _that town_, wanting to stay close so that I could quickly traverse the distance once Carlisle provided me with the blessed release from my promise. I had arranged for automatic payments from a bank account whose balance could easily have sustained these monthly payments for another century. Of course, I'd never had any intention of going on for that long, but the arrangement was convenient in that it allowed me to remain here as long as necessary without ever stepping outside. I neatly brushed the dust from one of the suitcases I had never taken the time to unpack and extracted from it my finest Italian suit. I worked quickly to press the wrinkles from it and was changed into it in short order. I looked in the mirror again and determined that, once I fed, I would be at least presentable enough to greet my family and meet my demise. A snort escaped me before I could stop it. I had already met my demise. Tonight, I would be meeting my fate.

I did not look behind me as I shut the door to my apartment. I did not lock the door as I left. I would never return here. If a looter had use for some possession of mine, they were welcome to it. I had with me only the clothes I was wearing, the phone that I carried in case Carlisle had any additional last-minute requests, and the bottle cap I had pocketed so long ago, in what felt like another time. I had worn all of the ridges off of the cap over the years. It the only physical reminder I had of _her_, and so I rarely had allowed an entire hour to pass without touching it. I took the cap out of my pocket now and examined it in the moonlight. _Soon_, I thought. _Soon I will follow you at last_.


	2. The Final Gift

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Two – The Final Gift

I breathed in the warm night air. My flawless memory had preserved it perfectly, and yet it still tasted new to me. Perhaps it was because I had been breathing stale, dusty air for three years, or perhaps it was because I knew that my suffering would soon be over forever. In either event, I felt relief at the change. I decided it would be best if I drove most of the way. It wouldn't do to catch the scent of a human and take the chance of allowing my instincts to take over. It had been so long since I had been exposed to a human, I wasn't sure that I could resist, plagued with thirst as I was. I wondered vaguely what month it was. It didn't matter; nothing mattered, including what type of animals would be available when I necessarily hunted. I was feeding for function, not pleasure.

I reached out with my mind and winced at the effort. I was out of practice, but no matter. Soon, I would never need to do this again. I could tell that there were no humans nearby, so I moved at my normal speed rather than attempting to remain incognito. Within seconds I was in my car. Surprisingly, it started right away. I had expected to spend several minutes trying to get the engine to turn over, considering how long it had been since I'd driven it. _Rose_, I muttered silently to myself. My sister must have been making trips out here to care for the car. She was the only one who might have cared enough for my vehicle to come and drive it periodically without trying to beg and plead with me to come home. Still, it was convenient that it was still in working order, so I didn't bear her any ill will.

I kept the lights off as I drove at the Volvo's top speed. I would be back in _Forks_, I forced myself to think of the place by its name, in about two hours, even stopping to hunt along the way. Two hours to drive to Forks, perhaps two more hours to hear what Carlisle had to say and give my family the proper farewell they deserved, and a short sprint to the reservation to finally be free of this terrible emptiness. In just over four hours, it would be over. At last, I had something to look forward to.

Rose had been considerate enough to refill the gas tank for me, so I would only need to stop once on the way. I made that stop after I'd been driving for approximately 20 minutes and was far from the closest human civilization. Even as the thirst burned badly enough that I would have ripped my own throat out if I could, I still did not enjoy the hunt. Still, I drained half a dozen deer so that at least my eyes would be an acceptable color when I greeted Esme. I was relieved that she would never know the color they had been. I would be hurting her enough tonight already.

I occupied myself for the remainder of the trip by allowing myself to consider the possibility that Carlisle could be correct about an afterlife for our kind. Although I didn't believe it myself, I wanted to be prepared if there was even a chance that I could see her again. If heaven and hell existed, I was certainly hellbound. Perhaps I would spend eternity begging her to forgive me and knowing that she never would. A faint flicker of hope crossed my mind for the first time since I'd left Forks and left her behind forever. Following her around forever, even if she would never speak to me? I could live with that.

Before long, I had arrived at the place I had once considered home. It had been in another lifetime. I had now lived four lives: My human life, my immortal life before her, life with her, and life after her. The third life had been the shortest, but the only one that mattered. Soon, I would head into the fifth and final life, if Carlisle was right. If he was wrong, then I would at least exit this fourth life, which had never felt like life at all.

I parked the Volvo for the last time and left the key in the ignition. Rosalie obviously had her own key, but I might as well leave the extra in an easy-to-find place so that my family could do what they would with the car. They would probably not keep it, since it would remind them of me, but if they wished to donate it to charity, it would bring more money for a good cause if it had an extra key.

I could hear their thoughts right away, much more clearly than was normal. Carlisle was contemplating the periodic table in order of discovery of each element. Esme was reciting the Greek alphabet backwards. Jasper was considering each abnormal emotion involved in various mental illnesses. Alice was translating Oliver Twist into Latin. Rosalie was going over design flaws in every model of car, in alphabetical order by make and model. Emmett was categorizing every known species of bear according to size at birth, then as adults.

Apparently, my family was hiding something from me.

Was this a trick? Had Carlisle made no arrangement with the wolves? I paused for a moment, considering getting back into my car and driving straight to the airport to buy a ticket to Italy. A pointless endeavor, since Alice appeared in the front doorway as soon as the thought crossed my mind. "Edward!" she cried out, rushing to greet me. She caught me in an embrace, and I heard a thought slip through her defenses. _The last time I'll ever hug my favorite brother._ I didn't even have time to feel guilty for upsetting Alice before the wave of relief washed over me.

So this wasn't a trick. They intended on holding up their end of the bargain. As quickly as the relief had come, it was replaced once again by the devastation and barrenness.

"Hello Alice," I said as gently as I could manage. In two hours, the desolation would be over. I should give them as much kindness as I was capable of giving. Let them remember Edward in the way they wanted to, not as this horrid shell, devoid of all light and hope. Perhaps I could even play the piano for Esme one last time…

Carlisle appeared in the doorway, Esme just behind him. Something was strange. I had expected them to look heartbroken. Instead, they appeared sad, yet hopeful. They must know that I had absolutely no intention of continuing to live past these next couple of hours. How on Earth could they look at me with any kind of optimism? "It's good to see you again, my son," Carlisle said, his voice barely above a whisper. Esme nodded vigorously, apparently unable to form words while continuing to recite the Greek alphabet in reverse order. Alice dragged me inside. I put up no resistance, lacking the strength of will required to struggle with my little sister.

"Hey big brother!" called Emmett, grinning from ear to ear. His face betrayed only the smallest hint of melancholy. I was certain it would be undetectable to a human. Rosalie flashed me a tiny smile, while Jasper cringed away, sensing my despair and wanting to be as far from me as possible. I respected his space as I returned the greetings. "Hello Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper. I wish I could say that it's good to see you again, I truly do."

"It's all right, Edward. Thank you for agreeing to…" Esme trailed off, her words choking slightly in her throat. If her body still produced tears, it would be producing them now.

"It has been very unpleasant, I will not deceive you," I said in a strained voice. "Still, it was the least I could do after everything you've all done for me."

"Wait'll you see what we did for you now!" blurted out Emmett. Rosalie promptly jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow. "Hey!" he cried out. "It's not like I gave anything away!"

"Please have a seat, son," Carlisle requested. "We have much to discuss, and I know you'd like to do so quickly." I moved to the loveseat and sat, quietly protesting the fact that the family was seated at all. Something was afoot. They had gone to at least some degree of trouble to make some type of presentation, and it resembled an intervention in a most upsetting way. Still, I could see sadness in the eyes of each member of my adopted immortal family, so I knew that this would all be over in a short time. Soon, my body would be torn to shreds by wolves and burnt in a bonfire celebration the likes of which had never been seen at the Quileute reservation. At least I would be able to give someone some joy.

Carlisle remained standing and paced back and forth. This, too, was for effect, since he would have been just as comfortable standing perfectly still. Alice sat on the floor at my feet while Esme sat to my left in the open seat. Across from us, Rosalie and Emmett sat on the couch, while Jasper stood behind them rubbing his temples with his fingertips. _I'm sorry_, I mouthed to my brother. It was horrible that he had to feel what I was feeling. I could feel that he was trying to ease my suffering, but it had no effect. I was far too empty by now.

Carlisle stopped pacing after a few moments and looked at me. I gazed back expectantly while he collected his thoughts, which was no small feat to do while keeping them hidden from me. "Edward, you are familiar with the hypothetical theory of the multiverse." It was not a question. I didn't have quite the overwhelming curiosity that Carlisle had, but with my scientific background and the number of books I had read, it would be unthinkable that I'd not heard of it.

"Yes, it's a rather complex theory with several sub-theories, but the general idea is that there exists more than one universe, each one similar to our own but with differences based on some unknown combination of decision and random chance." My voice was completely flat, lacking any kind of enthusiasm or emotion. I might as well have been reading the words from a textbook. Esme winced beside me at the sound.

"Excellent, that cuts out a lot of explanation time." Carlisle smiled, the look of optimism returning to his face. "After you left us, I put all my efforts into researching this theory. I haven't been to work in a very long time. Once I explained what I was trying to do, the others all began to help. With all six of us working 24 hours a day, we were able to accomplish quite a bit, particularly with Alice's ability to see whether something would work as soon as we decided to put it together—"

"Excuse me, Carlisle, I don't mean to be rude, but what exactly do you mean when you say, what you were trying to do? What _were_ you trying to do? Surely you didn't call me here just to tell me that you quit your job to conduct theoretical research." I paused. Perhaps Carlisle wanted to bounce some theories off of me. Acquiring knowledge was simply something that happened when you had centuries of time to waste, a perfect memory, and no need to sleep or rest, so it was no surprise that my entire family had at least some knowledge of advanced theories. Still, I'd had more time to study than the rest of my siblings, since I'd had no mate apart from that too-brief a time that had changed me forever. My knowledge of this subject would overshadow the others. Nevertheless, Carlisle wouldn't have been selfish enough to force me to suffer for so long just so that he could get my opinions on such a topic. I was baffled.

Carlisle broke into a grin. "It's not exactly theoretical any longer, son. We've built a device which allows travel between universes. I don't think humans will figure it out for another thousand years or so, since we have quite a few advantages working in our favor. Alice, as I mentioned, helped us get the job done in less than one-tenth of the time it would have otherwise taken us, even with the speed we can assemble parts and the expertise each one of us brought to the table—"

I interrupted Carlisle again. "I'm sorry, I recognize that this is an incredible breakthrough, but you can't possibly hope to publish your findings or use this device for anything. It would cause all of you to become far too noticeable. The Volturi would be here in hours, not weeks."

Carlisle looked at me incredulously. "Son, I realize you've been going through a pain I cannot hope to comprehend, but I didn't think even that would be enough of a distraction to keep you from understanding the point of this exercise."

I looked around at my family, still hopelessly confused. Rosalie, always the spoilsport, was the one who finally broke the family's pact to force me to realize it on my own. _You dolt, _she thought, _we built it for _you_ to use. You have all the time in the world to find a universe where she's alive and you aren't already in the picture!_

I heard a thunderous cry of pure, unadulterated ecstasy. I'd never heard such untainted delight, and if I lived another century I doubted I would ever hear such a sound again. Beside me, Esme's eyes lit up, and at my feet, Alice burst into giggles. The rest of the family began smiling and chuckling along with them, and I realized in short order that the sound had come from my lips.

"You did all that for me?" I spoke slowly, one word at a time, so that it took a full minute to finish this short sentence. Everyone had stopped translating, reciting, and memorizing their respective topics, and I could hear about all the labor that had gone into the last three years for my family. For the first time since I'd arrived, I noticed that all of their eyes were nearly as dark as mine had been when Carlisle had called earlier that night. They hadn't even been eating regularly, so absorbed they'd been with their efforts. This time, it was I who would have cried if I still had the ability.

"Carlisle gives me far too much credit," Alice announced. "They did all of the research and assembly. All I really did was look ahead and tell them what would happen if they did what they'd decided to do. I spent most of the time shopping for parts online while they investigated and worked."

Jasper had moved around to the front of the couch, apparently finding me easier to be around now that my dark cloud had turned colors. He seemed unable to contain his pride in his wife as he sat beside Emmett. "All we had to do was agree on a method and she'd tell us how close it would come to working right. She saved us months of work every time we had an idea. She was amazing!"

I was lost in thought. It might take me years, even decades, to find a universe that was just right. It had to be one in which she still existed, but was not with me, nor with anyone else. I couldn't bear to ask her to abandon any sort of happiness she may have found without me, nor would I even consider the notion of causing another version of myself the agony that I had just been through by taking her away. If there was even a chance that I could find such a universe, it would be worth every single moment of effort it would take, plus every single moment of torture I had endured.

Slowly, a strange sensation came over me. My infallible memory realized instantly that it was hope. At the same time, an expression I recalled clearly as a smile began to overtake my features. I looked at each member of my family in turn, and they were all smiling back at me, still looking slightly sad. They were losing me, in any event. I would not return once I'd found her. But I was leaving them, not to find my death, but to find my new life, and so they were happy for me. _We love you, Edward_, said Esme wordlessly. _Please be happy._

"I don't have any words that would be adequate to thank you all," I began.

"Then don't," Emmett cut me off. "We didn't do this so you'd thank us."

I nodded. "I understand. I suppose the only thing left to say is: When do I start?"

At that, Alice looked up at Carlisle smugly. "I told you!"


	3. Confession

I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.

Chapter Three – Confession

"I'm sorry, but there is quite a bit of information to cover before you can begin," Carlisle informed me. I nodded, fidgeting slightly. Ordinarily, I would never display my impatience in such a manner, but my world had just been altered with the presentation of remarkable news. I was anxious to begin. "There is no way to search for a specific set of conditions or select a particular universe. You will have no control over where you go once you activate this device," continued my father.

Slowly, I realized what he was saying. I could never return here, at least not purposely. My family would never know what became of me. I had assumed I would not be returning once I found a version of her that I could keep, but I had thought that perhaps I could check in with them at some future date to let them know that I was doing well. This would not be possible after all. I was suddenly struck by their sacrifice. My family had spent the years since her death doing nothing but build this device, which they would never be able to use themselves, just so that I could find a chance at a happiness that they would never know whether I had found. I felt a glow where my dead heart had sat cold and unbeating for so long. They loved me more than I could have imagined, and I was going to leave them.

"For these reasons," Carlisle had kept talking while these realizations sank in, "the device has never been tested. Alice has told us that it will work, but all she can truly confirm is that, once you use it, you will disappear, along with your future. We can't be certain what will really happen to you. The theories and work we put into this are sound, and we have no reason to believe that anything unexpected will happen, but it is important that you understand the risks."

"I understand." I had come here planning to die. If this device didn't work as expected, at least it was likely unstable enough to kill me. That would save the wolves the trouble, although it would deny them the satisfaction of killing a Cullen.

"You can only move between universes, not through time. Whatever has happened in another universe, you cannot hope to reverse or change any more than you can alter what has already happened here. You may see things that are much more traumatic than what transpired in our own universe, and I know it will be your instinct to want to help. It is best, however, if you simply continue on to the next universe instead. You won't have much control over whether you're seen when you appear, you can only go to where you reasonably believe will be an isolated area in the next universe. You must not be seen disappearing. It would cause a great deal of trouble for our counterparts if you were to call the attention of the humans in any universe." Carlisle went on, covering points that he knew I had already figured out, but wanting to be certain nonetheless.

"And you'll need to change clothes first," Alice interjected. "You're going to be sticking close to Forks for starters, and in any reality where we've been living there recently, people will notice Edward Cullen walking around in an Italian suit and become suspicious." She wrinkled her nose. "I know you thought you were coming here for your own funeral, Edward, so I suppose you get points for style, but why would you have wanted the wolves to ruin such a nice suit?"

I chuckled and was surprised to find that I had actually found her remarks humorous. "I'm sorry, Alice. I had thought you would approve. I'm afraid I didn't bring any other clothes with me."

"That's all right, some of your things are still here. We did leave town in quite a hurry originally." Alice flitted off to pick out some more suitable clothing for me.

I turned my attention back to Carlisle, who had begun speaking again. "We wanted to incorporate some greater pinpointing capabilities so that you would have the option to return, but Alice told us that time was running out, and Esme felt that you had suffered long enough already. However, since we know how to build the basic device now, we thought we might try to build another that could pinpoint specific universes so that we could attempt to catch up with you one day. We all need a break, I'm afraid, so it may be some time before we begin on this project. You might attempt to enlist the aid of our counterparts to modify your own device, if you ever want to return to let us know how you're doing. If you cannot, we certainly understand, and we all wish you the best."

"Carlisle, I…" There were no words. Nothing I could say that could express the overwhelming gratitude I was feeling. Suddenly, I felt the same emotion intensify and instinctively checked in Jasper's mind. He was showing them how I felt, since my own words had failed me. _We understand, Edward_, he thought. _Go find her_. I smiled weakly. I was unaccustomed to being rendered speechless.

Alice had returned with a simple outfit consisting of a turtleneck sweater and a pair of khakis. She had also brought winter gear, including gloves, a hat, and a scarf. Of course, I would have no way of knowing if the weather would remain consistent in other universes. It stood to reason that it would not, and if I suddenly appeared on a sunny day, I would need coverage until I could hide in a remote area. I left the room to change at my own top speed and was back in an instant.

"If you see our counterparts," Carlisle began again, "I see no reason why you cannot tell them who you are and why you are there. I do think it would be best if you try to avoid anyone other than our family."

"It happens that I have a bit of experience at avoiding others," I remarked.

Carlisle smiled again. "Well then, do you have any questions before you go? I'll give you basic instructions on how to use the device, of course."

"If I should manage to find a way to return here, would the device allow me to bring her back with me?"

Carlisle nodded. "I expected you would want to know that. Yes, the device should support an additional person, likely even two, but they will need to be touching you when you activate it. Shall we?" He indicated that I should follow him into his lab. "I'm afraid this next part will be unpleasant, son."

"Unpleasant? Well, that will certainly be a change from my life recently," I muttered. _Edward! Your manners! _ Esme protested silently.

Carlisle ignored my sarcasm and continued, holding up a device around the size of a pack of cigarettes or a MP3 player. "This, I regret to say, will need to be implanted under your skin. Your skin will heal over it immediately, of course, but it will be very uncomfortable. It was the only way we could think of to ensure that you could never be separated from it if you were discovered. It will be easy enough to remove once you are finished with it permanently, but you will feel it at all times until you've accomplished your goal." I didn't even flinch. I would accept decades of physical discomfort before spending one more day without her. If this was the price I had to pay to be with her again, I had no complaints. Carlisle showed me how to use the device. To prevent accidentally setting it off prematurely, there were several buttons that had to be pressed in a specific order and held for specified periods of time. He was careful to explain without actually activating the device. "Are you ready for this?" he said, regretfully holding up a special tool he had designed years ago specifically for cutting through vampire skin surgically. He took my lack of response for an affirmative and worked quickly to implant the device into my lower abdomen, where the slight lump was unlikely to be seen. I scarcely noticed the pain of the cutting, implanting or healing.

"Thank you Carlisle. And thank you all. I hope that one day I can see you again to repay your kindness." Truly, I was humbled by what my family had done for me. I knew that I would have done the same for any of them, but this was nevertheless remarkable. _You don't need to repay us_, each member of my family thought, almost in perfect unison. "I will begin now. I wish I had something better to say to all of you, but there are no words that will do justice to how I feel at this moment. I think it would be best for me to go a short distance from the house and use the device from that point." Carlisle silently agreed with me. Beginning my research in each new universe with my own family would be the best idea.

Esme moved to embrace me, and the others followed suit in short order. _Edward, _thought Carlisle_, if it isn't too much trouble, if you ever do make it back, I should love to hear any tales of what our counterparts are up to. _I smiled back at him. I sincerely hoped that one day I could tell him thrilling stories to satisfy his curiosity. I looked over my shoulder at the house as I left, going out into the clearing where we had once played baseball, where this entire mess had begun.

_Edward, wait! I won't keep you long, just a few minutes! _Alice was following me. I slowed my pace and waited in the clearing for her to catch up. _You were in no mood to listen before, _she continued, _but I thought it was only right to tell you exactly what happened. Especially if you plan to tell our counterparts your story._ This was not something I really wanted to hear, but she was correct, of course. I had to tell them what had happened. If I ever found _her_, I needed her to know what had transpired as well. It would be unfair to ask for their aid or even their time if I could not tell them the full truth. Still, I could not even bring myself to think her name, even with hope for the future.

A moment later, Alice had filled my mind with images. She'd had a vision of Laurent meeting _her _in the meadow where I'd once taken her. Laurent was stalking, circling her, and was about to lunge for the kill. Abruptly, this vision ended, and she'd immediately rushed back to Forks to try to prevent it from taking place, interpreting the abrupt ending to mean that _her_ future had disappeared, meaning that she had died.

She'd arrived at the meadow from her vision and stayed back far enough to observe and listen without being detected. Suddenly, Alice had detected an unfamiliar but detestable odor. I recognized the odor from her memory, but of course she wouldn't have ever had cause to smell it before, since she had not been with us when we'd last lived in Forks. The wolves had come for Laurent, but her presence had distracted them. She'd had a brief scuffle with the wolves. They had lunged at her, but a russet-colored one who seemed strangely familiar to me, bearing a strong resemblance to the wolf-form of Ephriam Black, had apparently noticed her eye color and stopped the fight. This distraction had been sufficient to keep the wolves from their intended target long enough for Laurent to finish what he started and get away. In Alice's memory, she had turned back toward the meadow and seen…

"Stop!" I cried out. "I don't want to see." Alice stopped sending me the images. _I'm so sorry, Edward. It was all my fault. If I hadn't been there, the wolves would have saved her and you would never have suffered like this I couldn't _see_ them. I have no right to ask for your forgiveness, but I am truly sorry._ I'd never seen Alice so remorseful. She had always been so full of joy every moment that I'd known her; I was horrified to see her like this. "It wasn't your fault," I said slowly. "You tried to help her. You had no way to know that the wolves would block your vision, or that they'd even returned. I will not accept your apology, because you have nothing to apologize for. I should never have left her. She wouldn't have been in that meadow if I had stayed. It was no one's fault but my own." Alice's lip quivered slightly, and she tackled me in another embrace. "I guess even you can be wrong sometimes. That wasn't the last time you'd hug me before." I smiled. "Perhaps this won't be either."

"We will see," she said, composing herself enough to retain the usual pleasant qualities of her voice. "I'm sorry you had to see all of that, but I needed you to know the truth. All of the truth."

"Thank you for sharing it with me," I replied. "I would have hated for you to go on blaming yourself after I left."

"I will always blame myself, Edward. Even if you don't." She smiled at me sadly and added "Good luck," before turning and running back to the house. She was gone before I had time to thank her.

Alone in the clearing where the pieces had come together a lifetime ago, I mentally prepared myself for whatever was about to happen, remembering Carlisle's warning that there was no way to be sure that the device would operate as intended. I took in one last breath and clasped the fingers of my left hand carefully around the bottle cap. With my right hand, I reached up underneath my sweater and pressed the series of buttons that would take me away from my loving family forever.


	4. The Journey

**Sorry for the lengthy intro before getting into the action. I did have to set things up a little first!**

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Four – The Journey

I felt a terrible vacuum enclosing my entire body, pulling and tugging at me painfully in every direction. There was no sound here, and the complete absence of sound hurt my ears. I couldn't breathe to determine whether there were any smells, nor could I open my eyes to see. The sensation continued to get worse and worse, and I could think of only one kind of physical pain I'd ever experienced that even compared. I was positive that all of the flesh would be ripped from my body in short order, and that I would be dead soon after. Carlisle's effort had been wasted, I thought morosely. Still, at least I wouldn't be living without her any longer.

Then, just as the pain reached a horrifying peak, the sensation stopped. I nearly fell to the ground, disoriented, but regained by balance at the last moment. However unlikely the possibility, I couldn't help hoping that I'd find what I was looking for in this first stop. The experience of traveling between universes was dreadful. I paused and looked around the clearing. This was precisely the same place I'd just left. Had it worked? Was I truly in a different universe? There was only one way to find out.

I turned to the direction of my home and ran, stopping once I was in mental range. I reached out and could hear my family inside. Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper were all there. I was not, and neither was she. I felt as though my stomach had dropped to my knees. Perhaps I hadn't left after all. I began to listen more closely and realized that everyone seemed quite content. Happy, even. Rosalie, in particular, was happier that I'd ever known her to be. She was elated, as though her life had new meaning. Cautiously, I crept forward. Rosalie may have borne a slight grudge for all these years that I had not wanted her when she was changed, but I knew that my sister loved me. My leaving would not make her so happy. This must be a different version of my family. _Her_ absence could have been for any number of reasons. Perhaps she had never moved to Forks at all in this timeline and was living in Jacksonville with her mother and stepfather, blissfully unaware of the existence of vampires. If that were the case, I would leave her to her life, let her meet a suitable human male and carry out a perfectly normal existence. Still, I wondered why I was not present. I could have been hunting alone. I'd done that frequently enough before I met her.

As I got closer, I could pick out individual scents and I froze. Wolves had been here, very recently. Hours ago, and more than one of them. I recognized the scent of the russet-colored one from Alice's memory, along with… I sniffed the air, trying to ignore the unpleasant burning of the odor… Three, no, four others. What had they been doing here? My family must have known they were there. How could they be so happy in the face of such grave danger, to say nothing of the horrific smell? I remained still for several more moments, trying to decide whether to leave. I remembered the unpleasant sensation of shifting universes and decided to remain here longer to investigate my own counterpart's absence. I could certainly live without that particular feeling for awhile longer.

I crept closer still and pushed through the stench of the wolves to detect a few other scents. Humans had been here recently too, two of them. A scent I didn't recognize, and... Chief Swan. I stopped again to consider this. If _she_ had never moved here, Chief Swan would have precious few reasons to visit the Cullen house. Perhaps he had been here on some form of official business with Carlisle. An investigation into an accident victim that my father had treated. I didn't recognize the scent of the human who had been with him, but there could be others working for the Forks police department in this reality. I calmed myself, trying not to get my hopes up. That must have been it. He must have been here to speak with Carlisle, along with a fellow police officer.

By now, I could make out the more subtle scents of my family members. The wolves' odor had overwhelmed everything, so pungent and distasteful. I had noticed the humans next, since I was programmed to view them as food. I didn't expect to be able to detect my own scent, so accustomed to it as I was, but I could make out the scents of my family. Another vampire had been here as well, one that I had certainly never met before, but whose scent still seemed somehow strangely familiar. I tried not to dwell on the fact that I had definitely not smelled _her_. There would have been no mistaking that scent. As I approached the door, I noticed one last scent. Once again, it belonged to someone who was not present, but it was a very strange aroma I had never taken in before. I couldn't quite tell what it was. It was not human, vampire, wolf, or animal. It was very pleasant, but like nothing I'd ever encountered before. I supposed there was only one way to get my answers.

I knocked softly at the door, quickly going over what I would say. If I had a counterpart in this reality, my family would think I was _their_ Edward, of course, and I needed to make sure they knew the truth immediately. I listened to Alice's thoughts briefly. _I didn't see any visitors_. She was perplexed. Interesting, since I had made the decision to approach the door a few moments before actually approaching. Perhaps she couldn't see me because I was not native to this timeline.

Carlisle answered the door at his human speed and relaxed upon seeing me. "Edward, we weren't expecting you for a few more hours. Did you need something?" _Why are you knocking? _he added silently. He paused briefly, almost imperceptibly. _He looks awful!_ He looked instantly embarrassed at that last thought, but I couldn't blame him. I had hoped that my feeding would make me look at least presentable, yet my face still told the story of the personal hell I'd lived.

"Hello, Carlisle. I am very aware of who I appear to be. I both am, and am not, that person. May I come in to explain?" Carlisle paused, pulling his eyebrows together in confusion before finally stepping aside and gesturing me inside.

Each of my siblings looked up at me and gasped at my appearance. _Is something wrong with Nessie?_ I heard Rosalie think frantically. _No, certainly not, he'd have brought her with him if he needed Carlisle to check her out. _I had no idea who or what Nessie was, but this word seemed significant, as it jumped into the minds of each of the others in turn before they, too, dismissed the notion that anything could be wrong with this person. Did I have a different mate in this timeline? Someone Rosalie approved of? That seemed unlikely, but it would have at least explained the scent of the other vampire.

"This is going to be a challenge to explain," I began. "I am not precisely who I seem to be. I am Edward Cullen, and I have no doubt that I am virtually identical to your Edward Cullen in nearly every way imaginable. I am not, however, your Edward Cullen. Wherever you expected him to be at this hour, he is likely precisely there." I could see that I had their undivided attention now. When I arrived, Jasper and Emmett had been playing chess while Rosalie and Alice flipped through several clothing catalogs. Esme seemed to be taking inventory of the kitchen for some reason. They had all stopped and were openly gaping at me. I took a breath and continued. "I am here because you all, that is, my own versions of you all, constructed a device that would allow me to travel between parallel universes." Carlisle's eyes grew wide and he displayed a rare lack of control when he let out a low noise of astonishment.

At this, they all exchanged a look. Alice spoke up first. "Okay. But… Why would you be traveling around without Bella?"

The very name I'd been hoping to avoid, the name my entire family knew better than to say or even think in my presence. It had been years since I'd heard that name, years since anyone dared speak it aloud. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth hard. The agony within me had begun to creep back in. Jasper yelped in alarm at the strength of the emotion and tried to assist. I struggled for several minutes to regain my composure. This meant that she did exist in this timeline. She was here somewhere, probably nearby. This thought calmed me enough to open my eyes again and see that they were all very alarmed. They had been wondering the same thing, but none of them dared ask again.

"Where I come from," I whispered, "she is gone." Even having heard her name, I still couldn't quite speak it aloud yet.

Esme gasped and rushed forward to comfort me. I continued, my lips barely moving, telling the story so quickly that no human could have understood. They were straining to hear me. Alice had appeared at my side during the story and had her arms wrapped around my waist. Carlisle looked thoughtful as I finished the story. Finally, he said "Yes, I can certainly understand why we would have built such a device. Losing you to an extended journey would have been acceptable, given the alternative." Esme held my hand, her entire body shaking uncontrollably. "As I'm sure you may have guessed," he went on, "things turned out much more favorably here." He nodded to something behind me.

I hadn't noticed Rosalie on the phone as I told my story. I hadn't noticed anything, so desperate I was to get the words out before they could crush me again. I certainly hadn't noticed three more people arriving at the house in response to Rosalie's call. I couldn't hear their thoughts, or I might have noticed them before Carlisle pointed them out. I spun around and instantly fell to my knees.

She was there. She was more beautiful than any sight, any smell, any gorgeous creature I had ever beheld. She was a perfect vision, and she was alive. The room might as well have been empty apart from her. I could remain here, unmoving, staring up at her for the rest of my existence. "Bella," I moaned softly. She was one of our kind now, but she was still Bella, and she restored my reason for living.

She bit her lip slightly and looked to her right, where my mirror image stood holding her hand. He nodded, and she pushed the small child on her left, a little girl who looked to be around 9 years old, toward him and stepped forward. Suddenly, I could hear the thoughts of my counterpart and the child. She had been shielding them in the same way her own thoughts had always been shielded from me. I had a vague notion at the back of my mind that something was wrong about the child, but I paid it no mind. I couldn't tear my eyes off her. I was whole again. Even though I knew that she had her own Edward, that this Bella would never be my Bella, the emptiness I had felt for the past three years had vanished. I was overwhelmed. The emotions I was feeling were too heavy. I might explode. Instead, I sunk further to the ground, rocking forward onto my hands and knees, still unable to look away.

She reached for me and lightly touched my arm, pulling me easily to my feet. I couldn't help myself. I didn't care that my family was present, that her mate was present, or that there was a strange child in the room. It was good that she had become a vampire, because I would surely have crushed her with the force of my grasp if she were still human. I pulled her to me with both arms and kissed her ravenously. She resisted for a moment, until I heard my other self whisper "It's all right, Bella. I would do the same, if I'd been through what he has." At that, she kissed me back, and I knew in that moment that I had died after all, and that Carlisle had been right about my soul. This was heaven, and I never wanted to leave.


	5. Comparisons

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Five – Comparisons

I crushed Bella's body to mine, making no effort to be cautious. There was no need, in any event, since she was just as sturdy as I. I wrapped her hair around my fingers, one by one, feeling each individual strand as I breathed in her scent. She was definitely the mysterious extra vampire I'd noticed, but there was still just a hint of her human scent lingering. No wonder the extra vampire had smelled familiar. My tongue flicked out and tasted each crevice of her skin, savoring the flavor of her venom on her teeth. My hands traveled aimlessly across her body, over her arms, and froze on her left hand.

She was wearing a ring. My grandmother's ring. Suddenly it struck me again that there were others in the room, and that this was not my Bella at all, and what I was doing, however right it felt, seemed dreadfully wrong. Though it pained me to do it, I pulled away from her, but I could not yet take my gaze from her face. Her eyes were golden now, so I knew she must have been a vampire for some time already. They held the smallest trace of pity for me, but impossibly, she still loved me, even though I was not her Edward at all. She had lived a lifetime that I didn't understand and could only guess at, but no matter what else she had become, she was still Bella.

At last, I forced myself to look to the others in the room, slightly embarrassed but not at all regretful of my actions. Emmett was doing his best not to laugh, and most of the others were doing their best not to look at all. Jasper had moved closer, eager to take in the unfiltered joy emanating from every fiber of my body. I looked at last at my own counterpart, worried that he may be ready to tear me in half, although I heard no animosity in his thoughts. _I truly do not mind, _he told me. _I can only hope another Edward would be willing to indulge me if I were in your shoes. So long as she is willing, you may do as you wish while you are here. You are me, after all._

_ Thank you, _I replied to this universe's native Edward. _You have no idea, you cannot imagine the pain I have endured. _

_ I can imagine. I thought I had lost her many times. The pain was truly unbearable. How long did you live without her?_

_ Three years._

The native Edward was aghast. _Three years? However did you manage? What could possibly compel you to go on for so long… I'm sorry, I know this must be unbelievably painful for you, but would you mind telling your story once again, for Bella's benefit?_

I nodded and moved slowly to the sofa. Bella held my hand as I told the story once more. Her own Edward stood behind her, stroking her hair as she heaved nonexistent tears at the tale of how badly I had suffered without her. I explained once more that I had continued to live for all that time because of the deal I'd made with Carlisle to have the wolves destroy me rather than endangering my family by going to the Volturi.

_Ahh yes. I didn't know that they had returned when I attempted to die,_ Native Edward thought. _Otherwise, I might have done the same._

_I wouldn't have known either, if Alice hadn't stumbled upon them. The poor girl thinks she was responsible for Bella's death. I wish that I could lift her guilt. It was my fault, of course. I couldn't be angry with her for trying to protect Bella when I didn't._

_ She sounds very much like my own Alice. _At that, I checked Alice's thoughts and saw that she was, indeed, blaming herself for something that she hadn't even personally done.

I thought we were being very rude, having our conversation without including the others, so I spoke aloud. "Edward, I'm sorry, what exactly did you mean when you said that you once attempted to die? Bella is right here, why would you have any reason for doing such a thing? I would very much like to hear the story of how this timeline differs from my own." I glanced over to the child who was sitting on Bella's other side. Her head was buried in Bella's arm. She very much resembled a forbidden immortal child, but she was fast asleep. I could hear her heartbeat, but she did not smell human, either. "All of the story," I added.

"Of course. It seems that where you come from was identical to this timeline up until the moment that your Alice distracted the wolves – Alice, please, it was not your fault, Edward told me so himself." Their Edward stopped talking to gaze sternly at Alice, who looked ashamed. _I know I didn't do it, at least not in this timeline, but to think that I could have…_ "It is curious that our Alice did not see the same vision, but I must admit that I am glad she did not."

"I can explain that," interjected Alice, still looking very remorseful for actions she hadn't even taken, which had not been her fault in any case. "Edward," I wasn't sure which of us she was addressing, and she echoed the same thought in her own mind. _Both of you, I guess. _"Do you remember when we left Forks, you asked me not to watch Bella's future?" We both nodded. "You said we couldn't come rushing back to save her from every skinned knee and every normal human problem. Just watch Victoria, you'd told me, and if she decides to attack, we will take care of it." Alice took a breath and paused, gathering her thoughts. "Well, Bella was my sister and my friend. I wanted to listen to you, but I wanted to watch out for her too. Every single day while we were gone, I struggled with whether or not it would be all right to peek, just to make sure she was doing okay, to see if she had been able to move on at all. I talked myself out of it every day until I finally saw her jumping off the cliff," At that, my head snapped around to look at Bella. She'd tried to kill herself?

"It's not what you think," Bella muttered sheepishly. "I was cliff diving. Fun. Recreational. Sport." _That wasn't all there was to it_, thought her own Edward, a mixture of amusement and anger in his mental voice. _She had discovered that she could hear my voice scolding her when she put herself in dangerous situations. _

_ She was trying to hear me... you… My, but this is confusing. She was trying to hear… you? _I finally decided on a pronoun.

_Yes, and if Jacob Black hadn't pulled her out of the water, she would have managed to get herself killed anyway. But I'm getting ahead of myself and being rude to my sister._

I looked back over to Alice, who had paused while Bella defended herself. She continued. "I could just as easily have chosen any other day to look at Bella's future. Apparently, in some timelines, I did choose other days. In your timeline, I chose the day that she encountered Laurent." Alice sighed. "I should have minded my own business anyway. It would have saved a lot of trouble in both timelines."

"Alice," both the native Edward and I began simultaneously. _Go ahead, _he graciously yielded the floor to me. _I'll be talking plenty soon. _"Alice," I continued. "It was unimaginably cruel for me to ask you to leave your sister behind and never check in on her. I am the one who is sorry. You can hardly be blamed for caring enough about someone you loved to check in on her." The other Edward nodded his agreement with my every word.

"I suppose that explains the difference in the timeline clearly enough," the other Edward began. "I think it best if I start from that point in telling you our story. Our Alice fought the irresistible temptation to check on Bella on that particular date," Edward didn't pause when Alice winced, instead raising his voice slightly to add "which she should never have had to do, and did only out of a misplaced sense of loyalty to her unimaginable fool of a brother." Alice smiled weakly, and Edward continued. "The wolves did indeed rescue her and destroy Laurent. Unbeknownst to us, Laurent had developed a rather deep bond with Irina while he visited the Denali coven. That detail will become important in due course.

"Bella was utterly devastated when we left, and the only thing that brought her any comfort at all was her friendship with Jacob Black, descendent of Ephriam Black. She formed a close bond with him which likely would never have happened if we'd never left Forks. She managed, with very little prompting, to uncover the mystery of the wolves," I chuckled lightly at that. She was a difficult person to fool, even to a supernatural being sworn to secrecy. "and continued to fall in love with Jacob over time. She didn't even realize that it had happened." Bella glanced at me apologetically. I was astonished to suddenly hear her mental voice for the first time. _It turned out all right in the end. _She looked like the effort to send this thought to me had drained her considerably. I pursed my lips and waited for Edward to continue.

"Still, even as she was falling for Jacob, she longed for me, and she went to increasingly extreme efforts to hear my voice after discovering that danger would permit her to do so. Eventually she went cliff-diving and failed to anticipate the strength of the current, or Victoria's presence there." I tensed and realized that my weight had shifted to a forward-leaning posture. "Jacob pulled her out of the water, but meanwhile, Alice had seen her jump and had seen her future abruptly end. The wolves block her vision, as I'm sure you've already figured out.

"Alice rushed back to Forks to check on Charlie, and was surprised when Bella arrived with Jacob Black in tow. Alice had told Rosalie of what transpired, and Rosalie called me to tell me what Alice had seen. I called to speak to Charlie, and Jacob answered the phone. In what was likely the most maddening series of coincidences in history, it happened that Charlie's friend Harry Clearwater had died of a heart attack just hours before, and Jacob told me that Charlie was out planning 'the funeral,' which I wrongly interpreted to refer to Bella's funeral." I'd been trying desperately not to interrupt again, but I shook my head at this news. Edward continued, "I made the decision to go to the Volturi and wasted no time in arriving there.

"Of course, Alice had seen me make my decision and she and Bella traveled to Italy without even letting Charlie know where they were going. Bella managed to intercept me before I had revealed myself, during the festival no less, but I had already caught the attention of Aro and company. Of course they were furious that I had told a human of our existence, but they permitted us to go on the condition that Bella would become one of us. Aro was intrigued by her invulnerability to his power, as well as Jane's." I flinched. Jane had attempted to use her power on Bella? My nostrils flared slightly, but Edward went on, determined not to be interrupted again.

"Having seen the error of my ways, I returned our family to Forks, but I now had competition in the form of Jacob Black. At the same time, Victoria was as determined as ever to destroy Bella, having seen it as fitting punishment for killing her mate. Without Laurent's assistance, she created an army of newborns," I suppressed a gasp "which we were forced to work with the wolves to dispense with. I killed Victoria personally and was not terribly surprised when our dear friend Aro arrived with his entourage just after the action ended. During all of this, Bella had agreed to marry me, despite finally realizing that she was also in love with Jacob." My head was spinning, but I continued to listen. Bella continued to hold my hand, and I stroked her arm absentmindedly with my free hand as the story unfolded. I could listen forever with her sitting beside me. "We got married and we…" Edward hesitated. "We went on our _honeymoon_," he said significantly.

"What?" I interrupted, breaking my resolve. "She was still human! You could have killed her!" I snarled and started to stand, but Bella held my arm firmly and would not allow me to rise.

"She was very… Convincing." Edward smiled grimly. "We had no way of knowing that vampire and human DNA were compatible. Carlisle had ruled out the possibility with his own studies and thus had not told us to take any additional precautions. Carlisle is fallible after all, it turns out, because Bella was impregnated." I gaped at her. She would have blushed, were she still human. Her eyes flickered briefly to the child, and I realized at once that this was Bella and Edward's biological child. I gazed in wonder at the little girl, confused that she was much older than three years old, while Edward continued. "The child grew at a very rapid rate and nearly killed Bella with her strength. Carlisle and I wanted to terminate, of course, but Bella was determined, and she had Rosalie's assistance." Rosalie looked smug at this, and I realized that the addition of her niece was the explanation for her happiness.

"Renesmee was born, and Bella nearly died in the process. This was why she was turned. I managed to obtain Jacob Black's permission for an exception to the treaty, so I suppose the fact that the two of them had fallen in love had come in handy after all. Jacob imprinted on Renesmee," Edward saw the look of confusion on my face and offered a brief explanation, "It's something the wolves do. It's sort of like love at first sight, but magnified tens of thousands of times. He's sort of an overgrown babysitter, a goofy uncle to her now, but when she grows up, he will be her true love. She will never have her heart broken." I hadn't taken my eyes off the little girl sleeping soundly at Bella's side, and I silently marveled at the fact that she was betrothed to a wolf.

"It really seemed that everything had turned out all right, but Bella, Jacob, and Renesmee were out hunting one day and were observed by Irina. She had come to try to make amends with us, having avoided us and prevented her sisters from fighting against the newborns with us because she blamed us for Laurent's death. She saw Renesmee at a distance and mistook her for an immortal child. It didn't take her long to report us to the Volturi. We gathered every friend we'd ever had to come and bear witness for us that Renesmee was half human, had grown, and posed none of the threat of the immortal children. The Volturi came for us, heard their tale, and destroyed Irina in their anger." I couldn't hide my grimace. Irina had been part of our extended family, and despite her apparent unreasonable behavior at condoning Laurent's behavior (apparently unsuccessful, in this timeline), I did not celebrate her death. "They were still uncertain that Renesmee was no threat, but Alice and Jasper had succeeded in tracking down another half-breed, and we learned that she would reach full maturity after seven years and would stop growing, remaining immortal like us. It would have come to a fight anyway, except that Bella had learned to use her shield on our entire group, blocking Alec and Jane from harming any of us. The Volturi retreated with their tails between their legs, but they will be back one day. Aro very much wants Alice and Bella for his guard, and I suppose he would think of a use for Jasper and myself if he thought he could get the two of them by accepting us as well." Edward finally stopped, having finished his tale.

"So the wolves…" I began, slowly comprehending why I had smelled them throughout the house.

"They are essentially a part of our family now," answered Carlisle. "There are two separate packs. This happened because of a disagreement over attacking us when Renesmee was not yet born. Jacob had wanted to protect Bella, no matter the cost, and he split off to form his own pack. He was joined by Leah and Seth Clearwater, as well as his own friends Embry and Quil. All of the wolves are welcome here, now that Sam's pack no longer desires to kill any of us, but Jacob's pack comes here frequently, probably because Esme never complains about the quantity of food they consume." Esme smiled broadly. She was thrilled to have even more people to take care of.

I took this information in. "And Chief Swan visits, along with…?"

"Sue Clearwater," Bella answered, and I shifted my gaze back to her. "The two of them got together around the time Renesmee was born. They've been taking it pretty slow, but I think they're going to get married soon. Charlie doesn't know precisely what we are. He knows that we're supernatural, but that's it. He prefers not to be told anything he doesn't need to know."

"And your mother?"

Bella looked very sad. "We haven't figured that out yet. I want to see her, but it just isn't possible. Charlie has been playing along with all of my excuses. Supposedly, I went away to Dartmouth with you, well, with Edward anyway, and classes have been keeping me far too busy to visit anyone. That excuse will run out in a little over a year, and I'm not sure what we'll do then. Renee's a little more challenging. Charlie doesn't ask questions and doesn't want to know. Renee will ask them all, and she'll see through any lies we tell her."

My mind was turning somersaults. So much had happened in this timeline; there had been so much danger, so many times that my entire family was nearly torn to shreds. Yet, we had survived, and Bella was here. The Volturi posed a constant threat to my family in this universe, a threat which was unlikely to simply vanish for good. But Bella was here. If the Volturi discovered that Bella's father came around regularly, that he knew that we were immortal, even if he didn't quite know what we were, that would be all the excuse they would need to tear my family to shreds and keep whomever they wanted for their guard. This was a thin line they would have to walk for the rest of Charlie's life. But Bella was here. This Edward had nearly lost the affections of his beloved to an unpredictable wolf that could have torn her to shreds in a moment of anger. But she was here. He had a daughter who was betrothed to that same wolf, whose pack hung around constantly, their odor burning his nose no matter what he did, and one day he would have to give up his daughter to her wolf husband. But Bella was here.

There was no contest. I would have happily exchanged to be in this Edward's position. All of my efforts to protect my family from the Volturi's notice were nothing compared to the tradeoff of having Bella. I felt instantly ashamed that I would trade my own family's safety in a heartbeat. _Don't be ashamed, _he chastised me silently. _They have offered no sacrifice that they were unwilling to give. Even Rose is happy now. I admit, you are correct in that portions of our life are not ideal. If we could somehow shake off the Volturi, I would not complain, but the wolves are not as bad as you assume. Still, I would not have changed a thing. She is everything._

Bella was staring back at me, trying to comprehend the tale of a thousand years' pain reflected in my eyes, a pain that had been all but lifted the moment I had seen her face. She still had not released my hand, and I selfishly found myself wishing that she never would. I knew I had to move on, to find my own Bella, but I wasn't ready to leave her side yet. _Stay awhile, _he told me. _You've had a long journey to get here. _

_ I couldn't possibly impose like that. She is yours._

_ I have some matters to attend to anyway, and I would not mind if Bella had some company that I could trust while I'm gone. I quite literally have forever to be with her. There is no guarantee that you will ever find what you're looking for. You should enjoy her company while you can._

I could tell that he was being generous. He had no pressing matters to attend to, but he would come up with something so that I could spend time with Bella. I was amazed at how readily they had accepted me, but I knew that they had been through so many near-losses that they were sympathetic to me, and above all, they hoped that someone would show their Edward this kind of compassion if the unthinkable had occurred. Could I really stand to leave? I knew that I would never be able to return to this place once I left. Sharing Bella with myself was not ideal, but it was a infinitely preferable to the life I'd left behind. She gripped my hand a bit harder, and I was helpless to resist. _If you're sure…_

_ I don't want you to misunderstand, _he told me. _This invitation does have an expiration date. I do not think anyone could tolerate having two of us here forever, and it would be much too much to explain to Charlie. But you should stay for a few days, perhaps even a few weeks. Let some of your pain subside before you continue on your potentially ill-fated journey._

I sighed. Of course he hadn't meant to invite me to stay for good. I had been foolish to think otherwise. Still, spending a month or so with Bella would certainly increase my strength for what awaited me. Carlisle had warned me that some of these universes could be horrible, and I wanted to be as whole as possible before I took in places that might destroy me all over again.

_Precisely, _he said. _It's settled then. Stay as long as you like, and we will reconvene in one month if you have not left yet._

_ You have shown me such kindness, _I told him. _I wish I could repay you in some way._

_ You already have, _he replied sincerely. _You've shown me how lucky I am._


	6. Overstayed Welcome

**So, I didn't exactly set out intending to have Edward staying with the canon Twilight family for awhile, but sometimes these things write themselves. Jacob once said that Edward "can't hate what loves Bella," and I do believe he was right. I don't think he could have turned his counterpart away even if he'd wanted to, once he saw that Bella loved him, too.**

**I promised myself I wouldn't be one of those writers who begs for reviews in every chapter. Please don't make me beg. =)**

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Six – Overstayed Welcome

I spent the daytime hours with Bella, listening intently as she told me of her life these past three years in greater detail than Edward had, fascinated with her tales of each emotion she had felt. I realized that leaving her had been the worst thing I'd ever done, even worse than the years I'd spent feeding off human blood. What a fool I'd been to think that she would simply forget about me and move on. It reinforced my belief that her death in my own universe had been my fault. Although we spent hours together every day, I had carefully avoided touching her too much since the initial moments when I'd been so overcome with emotion. It seemed to make her feel conflicted, and I couldn't disagree with her. She had her own Edward, and I was simply a visitor passing through.

Edward and I had decided to stay in range of one another's mental abilities so that we could be certain we would never been seen by a human in the same place, or in too rapid a succession to make sense. It was tiresome for both of us, each wanting our turn to spend time with Bella. Edward had graciously permitted me more than my fair share of time with her, electing instead to spend time with his daughter. Like the rest of his family, he had tried to hide his blatant pity from me. Lacking their years of practice at hiding things from his own mental ability, he failed miserably most of the time. I knew that I was on a time limit, and I knew that I was imposing horribly. Still, I selfishly wanted to make the most of my time with Bella, with _his_ Bella, before moving on.

As much as I desired to drag out my time with Bella for as long as possible, after a few days I began to feel that it was pointless to do so. I loved her, certainly, but she was never meant for me. Her Edward had made mistakes too, but in the end, he'd done more things right than wrong, and he had earned her company. All I was doing was reaping the rewards of his efforts. I was beginning to think that it was time for me to move on. Edward knew what I was thinking, and he made no effort to either encourage or discourage my thought process. I found myself grateful to my counterpart once again for his discretion.

I learned in due course of the cottage a short distance away that Edward shared with Bella, where they spent most of their evenings while Renesmee slept soundly, living as a husband and wife do. Bella had been nervous at first, uncertain of how far Edward's permissiveness would go. It had come as no small relief to her when I'd told her that I really didn't feel right doing those kinds of things with her, since I had never married Bella in my own universe. Edward had been trying to allow me some privacy, but I still heard his mental sigh of relief when we had this conversation.

Every moment that I didn't spend with Bella, I spent with Carlisle, going over every minute detail of the differences between our worlds. He was naturally very curious, having spent more time thirsting for knowledge than for blood over the past three centuries. He was also fascinated by the device my own version of the Cullen family had built, and despite my trepidation, I had agreed to permit him to remove it for study. He had assured me that he would not break it, would not accidentally activate it, and would not permit anyone else to come near enough to it to do either of these things.

Jasper greatly enjoyed my presence and followed me around wherever I went. He explained that even on his wedding day, his own Edward had never been as joyful as I. Indeed, despite the fact that I was an unexpected burden, simply being near Bella after knowing that she'd been lost to me forever had awakened explosive levels of happiness in me.

Unfortunately, Jasper's wife was unable to share his sense of elation at my company. Alice suffered from constant headaches because her visions were so strange, now that there were two of the same person occupying the same space. Carlisle believed that the reason she hadn't seen me coming initially was because her acceptance of reality had never allowed for a second Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, and so it had been impossible for her to see me until she learned of my existence in her timeline. Ever since then, she'd been able to see both of us, but it was as if her programming was going haywire. She would have directly conflicting visions featuring her brother, both of which were undoubtedly true. Even though she consciously understood the explanation, it had begun to damage her subconscious after a few days. The only thing that brought her any relief was the presence of the wolves. Jacob and Seth had begun taking shifts keeping her company, a necessity that caused endless amounts of aggravation for Rosalie, who still could not tolerate their scent.

Observing the wolves was fascinating to me, despite my aversion to their aroma. Despite my ability to see into their minds, I had received only limited information about the wolves during our original encounter with them. I was surprised by how protective they were of our family, Renesmee in particular. I had been concerned about the young girl's relationship with Jacob Black, who was, in essence, a grown man. My concern evaporated upon seeing the two of them together. She did not tire of Jacob's presence, nor he of hers. He was extremely concerned about my presence, believing that I could traumatize her in some way. Edward and Bella had a policy of always being as honest with her as they believed she was able to handle, and so they had told her that her father had been temporarily split in two, that it hadn't harmed us, and that everything would be back to normal soon. It was the simplest explanation, albeit fairly far from the truth. Seth had been concerned as well, but I was astonished to see that he had been just as concerned for my family, and even for me, as he was for Jacob and his imprint. _Poor guy, _he'd thought, _I know how much Edward cares for Bella. For him to have gone without her for years must have been unbearable. I don't know how he's going to be able to tear himself away._

By the fifth night of my visit, I still had come no closer to a decision about when I should leave, or indeed, how I would handle being separated from Bella again. She was continuing to spend the nights with her own Edward and their daughter in their cottage, and ridiculously, I found myself jealous of their time together. Carlisle had finished memorizing the details of my device and had decided to continue studying it within his own flawless memory so that he could re-implant it, sensing how anxious it made me to be separated from that small creation which would hopefully one day permit me to find my own Bella. On this night, he had stayed to work a double shift at the hospital because another doctor had contracted a minor infection which could be potentially contagious, and so I found myself with no particular objective for the day. Being away from Bella during the nighttime hours upset me, and I realized that this arrangement would never be good enough for me, in addition to the unfairness it presented to my counterpart. I knew I would need to leave soon, and the thought filled me with despair.

Jacob was taking his shift keeping Alice's visions at bay, sleeping on the couch while my sisters sat a few feet away going through a pile of magazines featuring the next season's fashions. Rosalie's nose was wrinkled in disgust at Jacob's scent, but she was tolerating the situation because she knew that it was helping Alice. When he began to snore, she lost her composure.

"How much longer do we need to put up with having one of them here _constantly?_" she hissed.

"I'm sorry, Rosalie. If only there was some other way to keep the headaches away…" Alice sighed.

"It's not _your_ fault," Rosalie snarled. Even if she hadn't been shouting at me mentally, it was impossible to miss precisely whose fault she believed it was.

"Rosalie," Esme warned from the kitchen where she'd been compiling a shopping list. The wolves did indeed consume food in large quantities, and she'd been needing to shop even more often since they had needed to keep Alice company 24 hours a day. "Be nice to our guest."

"Oh yes, we shouldn't discourage the nuisance from hanging around and interfering with our lives. You know his presence here is crippling us. With Alice being unable to see, we have no idea what dangers may lurk ahead for us. To say nothing of how much it's upsetting Bella not to be able to be in two places at once and keep both of them happy!"

Alice let out a low groan. "Most families manage full-time without a psychic, Rose."

"Most families don't have to worry about being discovered by the inhabitants of the town and needing to leave, or about accidentally killing someone, or about being placed on trial as a flimsy excuse to kidnap half of the family. This is madness, he needs to leave! We're all in danger." Rosalie raised her voice enough to wake Jacob from his sleep

"What? Who's in danger?" He looked around the room, ready to shift into his wolf form if necessary.

"No one's in danger, Jacob, go back to sleep. Renesmee is just fine." Esme soothed him. Before she was even finished speaking, he had rolled over and begun snoring again. It would have been comical, if Rosalie's remarks hadn't rung so true.

The longer I stayed, the more I lowered the family's defenses, and it was true that they needed Alice to look out for dangers with which normal families, even normal covens, didn't have to contend. I hadn't realized that Bella was distressed too, but it made sense. How like her it would be to want to please both Edwards and to blame herself when she fell short of the ability to do so. I had known that I would need to leave soon, but realizing that Bella was being made to suffer made the decision for me. "Rosalie is right," I said quietly. "I should say goodbye to Bella, and to Carlisle as well, but I should leave after I've had the chance to do so."

"Are you sure, son?" Esme looked pained. _I know you can't stay forever, but I still hate losing you so soon._

"You still have your own Edward." I should have anticipated that Esme would want to keep the both of us, no matter how impossible it would be to do so.

"I know," she sighed. "Still, I had wondered if we could have somehow worked something out, some way so that you wouldn't have to go off to someplace that might upset you." A brief flash of what my face had looked like on the night I arrived flashed through her memory and she shuddered slightly. Rosalie scoffed and stormed out of the room. _The sooner the better,_ she shouted silently at me. "It's almost time for us to move on anyway," Esme continued, "We've lived in Forks for nearly seven years now. It's only a matter of time before people start to notice that we haven't aged. We could pass you and Edward off as twins. It really wouldn't call that much more attention to us than normal." Her eyes flickered with a spark of hope.

"It's very kind of you, but this isn't fair to any of you. Having me here presents untold additional risks, and it's hurting Bella to feel that she's disappointing us both. Besides, sooner or later it would get back to the Volturi that a second Edward had shown up, and they would come to investigate. It wouldn't end well." Esme opened her mouth to protest before realizing that I had put up an excellent argument. She shook her head in disappointment. _I know I'm being ridiculous, but I hate to see any of my children go, even a duplicate._ I smiled. "I'll be fine. If the next place I visit isn't to my liking, I'll just move on." I didn't really want to leave this near-perfect life, but it was the only option.

Bella and Edward arrived a few hours later with their daughter, who squirmed away from them immediately and started using the sleeping Jacob's stomach for a drum. Jacob was not the slightest bit irritated to be woken in such a manner. Quite the contrary, he reacted much the same as someone who had been woken up to be informed that they had won the lottery. Carlisle was home shortly thereafter, and I called the entire family together to inform them of my decision.

"Aww, it was weird having the both of you here, but it was kinda fun watching Bella squirm. She hasn't been so funny in years!" From the timbre of Rosalie's thoughts, Emmett would be making up for that remark for the next few days.

"Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us," Carlisle said formally. _I know this must have been a terrible decision for you to reach, so I won't make it any more difficult for you by becoming emotional, _he added silently.

Jasper was the most upset of everyone, but he said nothing aloud. _I hate what this has put Alice through, but I'm still going to miss your happiness. Good luck, I really hope you find what you're looking for._

_Good riddance, selfish creep._ I refused to meet Rosalie's icy stare, but my counterpart shot her a glare for her rudeness.

Impossibly, Bella looked devastated by the news that I was leaving. "I'll go with you to the clearing," she mumbled. I couldn't understand it. She had an idyllic life here with her own Edward, her daughter, her best friend, her vampire siblings, and had even managed to find a way to continue visiting her father. How could she possibly be unhappy that her incredible life was returning to normal?

We traveled in silence to the clearing. Her husband had said little to me in the way of goodbye, so mixed were his emotions at my departure. He had simply wished me good luck and tried to shut off his thoughts to the best of his abilities. Bella herself looked lost in her own thoughts, and it maddened me once again not to be able to tell what she was thinking.

"So you're really leaving," she said. I nodded, still trying to understand what was going on in her mind. "Is it because he changed me? Am I so bad as a vampire? Do you wish I was still human? Do you think _he_ wishes…" The rest of her sentence hung in silence.

So that's what this had been about! After all this time, after everything they had been through together, after marrying him, after having his child, after he'd changed her to keep from losing her, she still believed that he didn't want her. How could she be so foolish?

"Bella, it has nothing to do with that. Of course you're not bad as a vampire. I wouldn't care if you were human, vampire, wolf, or the tooth fairy, if you didn't already have your very own Edward, you would never be able to get rid of me. It simply isn't fair to anyone, to myself, to him, to your daughter, to the family, and most of all to you, to have to try to keep both of us happy."

Bella bit down on her lip slightly. "I just thought, maybe, since Carlisle has an idea of how to create one of those devices, if he's very unhappy with my being a vampire, he might…"

I was aghast. She honestly thought he would implore Carlisle to help him create a similar device and leave her in search of a Bella who was still human? "He would _never_, Bella. You are his world, and his life is here with you." I paused for the briefest of moments before adding "I have had over a century to do stupid things, but I've never managed to do anything so blatantly boneheaded as leaving you. I promise you, he will never be able to do that again. Especially not after seeing me, seeing what losing you did to me." She nodded, but I could tell that she was not convinced.

"I know I shouldn't make this harder than it already is," she said after several minutes. "Just the thought of you roaming around, so sad because of me, I can't stand it."

"It isn't your fault. It's mine. With any luck, I will find another reality with a different set of circumstances that were my fault, and I will be able to make that Bella happy."

She thought about this for a moment. "You think there's a Bella out there who doesn't have an Edward?"

"That's what I hope to find."

"Then what are you waiting for? Go! She's miserable without you!" With that, Bella pulled me into an embrace and kissed me once more. "I'm sorry for keeping you from her for so long!" She stepped back several feet, but made no motion of going further away. "I love you," she whispered.

"As I love you," I replied. Without breaking her gaze, I reached under my shirt and began to press the sequences of buttons that would take me away from her, but leave her to her happiness.

I would find her. No matter how many times I had to endure these painful goodbyes or the agony of changing universes. I would not rest until I had found my own Bella.

My eyes shut involuntarily as I began to endure the physical pain of shifting. When I opened them, she was gone. I was alone once more.


	7. Mystery

**Thanks for all the recent reviews! I've been updating a lot because I swear this story is getting under my skin and DEMANDING to be written. I would love to be able to respond to the reviews, but for some reason I haven't been able to get that function to work (and I've tried on two different computers and three different browsers). **

**Full disclosure time: Even though this story has been, and will continue to be primarily about Edward and his search for Bella, I do absolutely adore Jacob and I'm sure I'll work him in here and there… **

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Seven – Mystery

Once again, the sense of relief washed over me at the end of the agonizing pain. That sense of relief rapidly turned to dread once I realized that I had no idea what awaited me here. I may very well be leaving again in moments. Just as I'd done days earlier, I began the trek from the clearing to my family's house nearby.

I arrived in short order and quickly realized that something was wrong. I could not hear the thoughts of anyone inside. During my last stop, I had discovered that the reason I could never hear Bella's thoughts was due to her latent shield power, which she had learned to use on others (and could apparently retract from herself as well, with a great deal of effort). Perhaps this Bella, too, was a vampire, but had taken to shielding the entire house from some danger which was ever-present in this timeline? I was distressed at that thought. I knew of very few immortals who had capabilities that would pose a constant threat to my family necessitating a full-time shield. In fact, the only name that came to mind was Alec. But what could have caused the Volturi to be such a threat, and in a way that Alice wouldn't see ahead of time? Perhaps Alice had been killed. My unbeating heart sank at that thought, and I clenched my teeth to remind myself that this was not _my_ universe. Whatever may have happened to Alice here was not truly my concern.

As I crept closer to the house, I realized that all of my fears about my family's well-being seemed to be, at least thus far, unfounded. The house was vacant. I detected no scent of anyone, human or immortal, having been near here. For their scent not to linger at all meant that they had been gone for months. I mentally ran through a list of reasons, based upon my own universe as well as the one I had just left, why my family may have moved on without returning. Had they fled from Victoria and her newborn army? Of course not, to do so would have put the entire town in danger, and it would have been too difficult to think of an excuse to bring Bella, still human, with them.

Perhaps they had left town after Bella gave birth? That wouldn't make sense either. Jacob Black would never have permitted the family to leave without him. He would have come along whether they liked it or not, and his pack would have come along with him unless he issued the order for them to stay. From my brief interactions with Jacob, I gathered that he preferred not to interfere with the free will of his pack, although he may have considered issuing such an order to Seth in order to ensure that he finished his schooling. I also had no doubt that Seth, Leah, Quil, and Embry were fiercely loyal to Jacob and would stay with him no matter what he chose to do. Indeed, Renesmee's birth had created an additional complication for my family on the subject of moving on. It had been difficult enough for seven of us to move from one place to another without raising too many eyebrows; our story about being foster children was fairly flimsy and would not hold up to close scrutiny. How would they ever hope to explain six more teenagers (one vampire and five wolves) as well as a little girl who aged far too rapidly to be enrolled in school? The family's number was now fourteen. I shook my head, trying in vain to think of a way that they could continue to mingle with humans as they moved about. No, the only choice now was for the family to stay put as long as they could possibly get away with it, for when they moved again, it would be into seclusion.

Was it possible that Jasper had lost control while he was still in school? I considered that for a few moments. Alice had watched his future carefully, and I had been very mindful of his thoughts. Neither of us had ever sensed any serious danger from him. Although I knew that there was some variance based upon random chance, my single experience thus far had led me to believe that choices played a bigger role in discrepancies from one reality to another. The single turning point which changed my universe into the one from which I had just departed was when Alice had made the decision to wait until later to check into Bella's future. Incredible how a single decision, seemingly so minor, had changed so much. Involuntarily, I shook my head at my own inner monologue. I didn't think it likely that Jasper would have lost control in this reality. Of course, there could have been extenuating circumstances. Perhaps a student had decided to run with scissors and cut himself open. That would have probably done it.

But what if Jasper hadn't been the one who lost control? What if it had been me? I remembered each and every vivid detail of the day that Bella's path had first crossed mine. I could remember what foods the cafeteria was serving that day for my family to discard, one by one. I could recall the colors of the fabrics of every shirt worn by every student in that classroom. Most importantly, I could remember each plan I had made to kill Bella Swan. Certainly, if I had been discreet enough to call her away, my family may have decided to stay. If I had slaughtered the entire classroom as the monster within had wanted to do at its first exposure to her scent…

I hadn't even realized that I had sunk into a defensive crouch. I supposed that I was trying to defend the Bella in my memories from myself, and I laughed aloud at this. Yes, that would have been sufficient to cause my family to move on, and as distasteful as this idea was, it was the likeliest of any of the options I'd considered. I felt very remorseful at this. I had not thought about the fact that a universe likely existed where I had not only indirectly been responsible for Bella's death, but had personally pulled the proverbial trigger.

Still, there was at least one more, even more probable option. In both universes, I had implored my family to leave following the incident which took place on Bella's 18th birthday. It was the worst mistake I had ever made, and the other Edward I had encountered seemed to agree. Nonetheless, we had both made this decision. Could the Cullens in this reality have moved away three years ago at their own Edward's request and never returned? Although this, too, would be tragic, it still held brighter possibilities than the next most likely alternative. It was possible that the wolves had fought off not only Laurent, but also Victoria, and that Bella was still alive and well, probably writing a college term paper at this very moment. Of course, there were much more grim possibilities too, but I had spent enough time speculating. It was time to learn the truth.

But where to begin learning the truth?

Well, if Bella was still alive, she would probably have elected to attend college near Forks. I'd been too blind to realize three years ago that she would never get over me, but now I could see it all too clearly. Although her mother would likely have wanted her to attend school in Jacksonville, Bella would have known that was the last place she would ever have a chance at seeing Edward again. If she stayed close to Forks, she could stay close to a place where vampires routinely passed through. _And_, a small voice in the back of my mind spoke up, _she could stay close to Jacob Black. _I had already promised myself that I would not interfere if Bella had found happiness with another man, and, despite his hostility toward me out of concern for Renesmee, it was clear from Jacob's thoughts that he was a good man, an honorable man, a man who had both the ability and the inclination to protect Bella if she had chosen him. Jacob Black would have been a good choice for Bella. Perhaps even a better choice than me, I was forced to acknowledge, since she would never have to fear that he would want to drain her blood to sustain himself.

Regardless of her specific reasons for staying close to Forks, I felt certain that Bella would have done precisely that. This meant that she would visit Charlie frequently on weekends and breaks, and so it was highly likely that her scent would still be lingering around Chief Swan's house if she was still alive. That would be the next place I should check. I needed to be especially careful not to be spotted. If being seen in a universe where another Edward Cullen lived nearby was unsafe because of the low possibility of a human seeing both of us in rapid succession, being seen in a universe where Edward Cullen had moved away three years ago was treacherous. It would draw far too much attention.

With this in mind, I stayed in the woods, using all of my senses in tandem to alert me to the presence of any humans. I remained constantly aware of where the closest tree to me was in case I needed to rapidly ascend and hide. It had been early evening when I'd departed from the last universe. Carlisle had returned from his shift and I had taken the time to properly address my family and give them my thanks before leaving. I realized that I had not paid attention to how long the process of shifting universes took, nor had I really noticed how long I had spent outside the abandoned home of my family going over possible reasons why the house could be empty. I took note of the level of light and realized that it was nighttime now. Bella, if she was still alive, was probably fast asleep. I could only hope that her dreams were not still tormented by memories of her vampire ex-boyfriend.

Before long, I was a short distance from Chief Swan's house, the place where I had once picked Bella up each day before school. A deep melancholy set over me as I remembered a time when I had been truly happy, a time that I had managed to thoroughly destroy. Something did not look right to me. Was it because I remembered the house with Bella's ancient truck parked in front of it? I had known that the truck would not be there; she would have taken it with her when she went to college. Charlie's cruiser was parked in its usual spot. I realized that what was out of place was everything else. The yard had not been well-kept. It looked like one of the shutters had broken some time ago and had never been repaired. It was as if Charlie had ceased trying to keep the house in order. This did not seem to be a good sign. I focused on Charlie's thoughts, annoyed that they did not simply come to me unbidden as with most humans. He seemed to be asleep, dreaming about searching for something. He was very anxious about finding it. This was not a good dream.

There was no sign of Bella's scent. I refused to believe what my eyes, nose, gift, and logic were telling me. Bella had not been here in a long time. Charlie no longer seemed to care about the physical condition of the house. He was having an upsetting dream, something I could never recall noticing in all of the nights I had spent in Bella's room. She couldn't be gone. She just couldn't. Perhaps she had been here and something else had washed away her scent. Even as I thought this, I knew it was impossible. Nothing could have washed away Bella's scent, so potent it was to me. Still, I ventured closer. Perhaps she simply had not been to visit recently. Her rigorous college schedule could be keeping her from visiting, particularly if she had gotten a job while going to school. Perhaps she had elected to go to school in Jacksonville after all. If she had chosen to be with Jacob Black, she could easily have waited an extra year for him to finish school and gone away with him. Jacob Black, after all, didn't need to stay out of the sunlight. She could have gone anywhere she wanted with him. If she had gone away to Jacksonville to attend school with Jacob, she would probably only make it to Forks once or twice a year. I decided to slip into her room to check for any personal effects she may have left behind. A college course catalog. A trinket to remind her of her new home in Florida. Anything to confirm my theory. I was desperate to believe that Bella was alive somewhere and safe, even if it meant that she had promised herself to Jacob. I had visited only one other universe before this one, apart from my own. I did not want to believe that she was dead in more places than she was alive…

Although it had been more than three years since the last time I'd entered Bella's window, the motions were so easy that I could have carried them out in my sleep, if I were capable of sleep. I slipped into the house easily…

And promptly felt something topple and fall.

My reflexes were quick enough to catch the object before it crashed to the floor, but it did cause some rather loud noises first. I stood, still and silent as I checked Charlie's thoughts once again. He was still searching, but the search had become desperate, frantic. I allowed myself to exhale a low sigh of relief. The dream was still going on. I hadn't woken him. Only then did I pause to see what I had knocked over. It was a filing cabinet, positioned just below the window. This had never been here before. I quickly took in the room and realized that it had been converted into an office. Strange, since Bella had told me that Charlie had kept her room exactly the same that it had been since she was born, with the only major change being a swap from a crib to a bed. There was certainly no bed in this room. Where would Bella stay when she came home to visit? Billy Black hardly had room to accommodate both her and Jacob. My unbeating heart sank, still unwilling to accept what was so clear. She was gone, gone like my own Bella. Charlie had finally changed her room because he knew she would never have need of it again.

Suddenly, the room was filled with a blinding light, and a familiar voice had shouted "_You_!"

Charlie was standing in the doorway with a rifle pointed at me.

Of course, I must have woken him up after all when I'd toppled the filing cabinet. His search was no longer in his dream. He was searching for whatever had made the noise. I silently groaned at my own foolishness. If I had not come to rely so heavily on my mind-reading to keep me informed, I would never have assumed he was still asleep, and this would not be happening. Blast the genetic quirk that made the Swans so difficult for me to read…

My mind was racing. I could simply bolt back out to the clearing and leave again. Charlie would never be able to follow me quickly enough, and in the morning he would assume this had been a dream. If I did this though, I would never have answers. Bella was dead, that much was certain, but I felt oddly compelled to learn how she had died. Had I been the one to kill her? Had I drained the helpless girl of her life before I'd ever had time to learn what kind of person I was taking from the world, from myself? How many others had died along with her in order to satisfy my inner monster? No, I needed to think of something to say, some way to keep Charlie talking so that I could try to figure out the answers. His mind seethed with pure fury; I could sense no other emotions. If he pulled the trigger on his rifle, it would not harm me, of course, but it could endanger our kind significantly. I did not want to have to kill Charlie as well as his daughter. Less than half a second had passed since Charlie first flicked on the light switch and shouted, but my mind was made up. I took a deep breath and tried to think of something I could say.

"How _dare_ you! You've got a whole _lot_ of nerve showing your face around here!" Charlie continued before I had a chance to begin to weave a pathetic excuse for my presence. Truly, this was not entirely bad. Perhaps my best solution was to continue to stand here while he shouted at me. Eventually, he might say something which would give me the clues I needed. "It's _your_ fault, I blame you one hundred and ten percent, Edward Cullen. Do you have any idea what it's like to have a little girl?" I shook my head slowly, first to one side, then the other. "No, you don't, you're just some punk kid, just like all the other punk kids. No, worse than the other punk kids, because even when they're painting graffiti on buildings or swiping video games, they at least have the decency to face the music. They don't take away a man's reason for living and then skip town with their whole family!"

So it was true. Bella was dead, and it had been my fault.

But wait.

If I had killed Bella in school, I was sure that I would have left no living witnesses. There would have been whispers and rumors, of course, but Charlie would have had no reason to believe that I, specifically, had been the responsible party. If the entire Cullen family disappeared the day after one girl disappeared, there would have been seven separate suspects. If I had slaughtered the entire classroom, I would have at least had sense enough to cover my tracks by marking myself absent for Biology class that day. Records would have shown that I had skipped class, which would have looked suspicious, but was hardly concrete evidence. And what had Charlie said? He blamed me. Men simply didn't face down their daughter's murderer and say that they _blamed_ them.

Now I was curious.

I said the first thing I could think of that would prompt more shouting and, by extension, more details.

"I didn't do anything!"

Charlie was all too happy to oblige.

"Like hell you didn't do anything!" I winced slightly, certain that if he kept shouting at this volume, the neighbors would be awoken from their slumber. "You took my little girl off to some _game_ with your family. I should have known something was fishy when my Bella wanted to play _baseball_. I don't know what you people did to her, but do you know what she told me when she came home?" This, I knew all too well, but it wouldn't do to tell Charlie that. _Of course, Chief Swan, you see, I was standing in Bella's room helping her pack while she told you every hurtful thing she could think of._ That would certainly have a calming effect. I shook my head again. "She told me that she was starting to _like_ you, so she had to leave. Had to leave right that minute. She used her own mother's words, told me it didn't work out and that she really, really hated Forks. Do you know, Edward Cullen, that was the last thing my little girl ever said to me?" Charlie's fury had begun to merge with his anguish at his lost daughter. His voice had begun to falter ever so slightly, and I felt truly sorry for what my counterpart had put this man through. But his explanation hadn't added up completely yet. How did Bella die? I'd had my own desire to kill her under control by this point. That could only mean… No, it was impossible. I could think of no way that we could have failed in keeping her safe from James. I ran through every decision in my mind that had been made from the moment we'd left the baseball field, and there was simply no point in time where another option had seemed viable in any way.

Charlie was still going. "You know what the worst part of it all was?" For the third time, I shook my head, still sure that it would be better if I didn't speak. Charlie's anguish had overtaken his rage. He lowered his rifle slightly, and I could see tears welling up in his eyes as he spoke. "They never even found her body, my little girl. Oh, they found her truck broken down on the side of a deserted road, 100 miles outside of Phoenix. Do you know what was in that truck, Edward?" He didn't even pause to wait for my fourth headshake. "Her clothes were in that truck, Edward. Covered, and I mean _covered_ in her blood." Charlie's arm had gone slack, his rifle at his side. His lip quivered as he struggled to maintain control of his voice. "I should have followed her. I don't know what I was thinking, letting her go like that. That truck was in good shape, but it just wasn't up for a trip like that. She broke down and didn't have a cell phone. There's no telling how long she sat there waiting for someone to come by and help. Someone came by all right.

"It breaks my heart, Edward, that my little girl had to die like that. Some sicko did god knows how many horrible things to her. It keeps me up at night, wondering what her last thoughts were, wondering how much she suffered, wondering if she was crying out for me to come save her. You can't imagine it. You can't imagine the dreams I have about searching for that sicko and—" Charlie's voice caught in his throat, and for a moment he broke down and sobbed. "But you!" The fury had returned to his mind, and Charlie raised the rifle at me once more. "I don't know what you did to her to make her run off like that, but because of you, I'll never see my little girl again. I'll never hear her voice again. I'll never be able to put a picture up of her graduation day, or help her with her college applications, or walk her through how to fix a leaky pipe in her dorm room over the phone, or walk her down the aisle, or babysit my grandkids while she goes on vacation…" The fury had been short-lived. Charlie dropped the rifle and sank to the ground.

As much as Charlie's story pained me to hear, I knew that it was not within the realm of possibility. I mentally ran over the events of that night. Esme and Rosalie had taken Bella's truck, and Bella had ridden in the Mercedes with Alice and Jasper. It was true that Bella had escaped from Alice and Jasper at the airport, no small feat for her to accomplish, but her truck had been far away from Phoenix. Even in this universe, it was more than ridiculous to consider that we would have allowed her to take her own truck by herself, and even if we had done something so dangerous, James wouldn't have allowed so much of her blood to be spilt rather than drinking it himself, nor would he have permitted a mere human to intercept his prize. No, there was only one plausible explanation.

My family had fabricated evidence.

It was most definitely a horrible way for Charlie to imagine that his daughter had died, but they must have believed it the only possible way to keep from implicating us directly. The most important part of his story, though, was also the part that he had highlighted as the worst. _They never even found her body_, he'd said. Surely that would be the worst thing for a parent, but for someone like me, someone who knew that there was more to the story, it was by far the best.

Bella had been near death that night, and Carlisle had given me a choice. Either suck out the venom, or let the change happen. I had chosen to suck out the venom, but there had been a clear second option. In this version of reality, my counterpart must have chosen the opposite.

My family hadn't included her body in the fabricated evidence they'd left behind.

There must have been no body to include.


	8. Hasty Deception

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Eight – Hasty Deception

I was certain of my new theory, but I had been wrong several times already since arriving in this timeline. I needed to find out for certain. Nearly four years had passed since our run-in with James, and even if my theory was accurate, it was not without possibility that something could have happened to Edward in this timeline. Assuming that James had still been killed that night, Victoria would still want revenge. She'd elected to seek revenge in the form of killing Bella in my own timeline, as well as the one I'd just left. But the stakes had changed when Bella had become a newborn. As she'd proven by first sending Laurent to investigate on her behalf, then creating and manipulating an entire army to attack when she realized she was outnumbered, Victoria was nothing if not a coward. She may have decided that taking on a newborn vampire was too risky for the sake of simple vengeance and gone after Edward instead. There was also the matter of Carlisle's hope that perhaps there would someday be a way for me to report my findings to him. I should investigate in detail before moving on unless there was some immediate danger to escape. I owed him at least that much. Tracking down my family in this place would not be easy. We had never been ones to leave any clues behind. Indeed, it would be dangerous for us if an old classmate tried to contact us for our high school reunion only to find that we had not aged. Carlisle had given me specific instructions not to inform anyone outside of the family of the circumstances, so I could not very well go frolicking about the globe contacting others of our kind and asking them "Oh, by the way, have you seen my identical twin?" This presented quite a challenge. Still, none of this was my foremost concern yet.

First, I had to find a way to escape from Charlie Swan's house.

I sighed mentally. This, too, would likely prove difficult. Of course I could simply run away, but by now, Charlie had been awake long enough and done enough shouting that he would never convince himself in the morning that this had been a dream. In the morning, he would probably put out a warrant for my arrest. I had, after all, been breaking and entering. Although I had no plans to stick around Forks long enough to be found, and I had plenty of ways of eluding police in any event, it would still not do to have the town start discussing me and looking for me. I would have to talk myself out of this. Obviously, I had no small amount of experience with lying to humans, but Charlie's daughter had always proven more perceptive than she should be. I could only hope that she'd inherited this ability from her mother's side. I had better think of something quickly, before his rage awoke again and he picked up his rifle once more. Whispers and rumors were one thing, but the sound of a gunshot would wake up the entire neighborhood, and there would be a dozen witnesses to see that Edward Cullen had been hanging around, that his shirt had a huge hole in it from a rifle, and that he himself had run away, completely unscathed.

I quickly considered the news that Charlie had just delivered. Supposedly, Bella had been abducted from the side of the road and subjected to a most gruesome death, the same type suffered by my sister Rosalie when she'd been a human. I knew better, of course, but I must give the outward appearance of believing this story fully. This would require some acting, in addition to the typical lies. I tried to imagine how I would react if I actually believed this news were true in order to make my face hold the proper level of shock and pain. I didn't have time to anticipate all of Charlie's questions. I would need to improvise.

"Charlie, I—I'm so sorry. I didn't know." That seemed like a good place to start. He'd be forced to react now, which would give me more time to think.

"I suppose you didn't, or you wouldn't be here now," Charlie said through clenched teeth. "In a way, I'm glad you _are_ here, Edward. Because I've always wanted to know, what exactly did you people do to my daughter that made her feel like she had to run away from home in the middle of the night? And why did you skip town as soon as she disappeared?"

_Oh, you know, the usual, vampire baseball, some more vampires showed up, they wanted to kill her, we wanted them to _not_ kill her, it really seemed like we were at an impasse. One thing led to another, and the next thing we knew we were fleeing town trying to get away from an unstoppable killing machine who also happened to be a remarkable tracker. Really just a typical day, you know how it goes. _"Well," I began, "you see, Carlisle had put out some feelers for a new job. Esme wanted to live in a small town, of course, but even for someone as well-off as Carlisle, putting 5 children through college would have run through his money very quickly." Of course this was absurd, but Charlie had no way of knowing precisely how well-off Carlisle truly was, having spent 300 years with no need to spend money on food and spent nearly a century with a daughter who could predict stock trends and a son who could win any poker game. "They had agreed that taking a higher-paying job in a larger city for a few years would be best, since they could always move back to a small town later." Where was I going with this? I kept talking, rapidly considering my options.

"We hadn't even started the game yet when Carlisle's phone rang with a job offer in…Topeka," I said frantically, naming the first city that popped into my head. "It paid nearly twice as much as what he was making here, and of course he accepted. He wanted to stay long enough to at least finish out his appointments for the month, but they needed someone to start immediately and made clear that they had half a dozen other qualified doctors interested in the position. We cancelled the game right away to head home, there was so much to pack and so many loose ends to tie up," I was weaving the tale so hastily that I needed to consciously remind myself to speak at human speed. "Naturally, we had to tell Bella why we were being so inconsiderate as to cancel the game after dragging her out. She was visibly upset. At first, I thought it was because of our rudeness, but while I was driving her home, she made it clear that she was distressed that I was leaving town." I paused briefly to consider what Bella might have actually said in response to this news. I remembered when I told her that we were leaving Forks, she had assumed that meant she was coming with us. Well, no need to be quite _that_ realistic about her reaction. "She said 'great, just when I found one thing I liked about this stupid town and its stupid rain.' I tried to tell her how sorry I was, I tried promising her that I would call, that I would write, that I would visit. I told her we only had a little over a year of school left and we could try to get into the same college, if she wanted to. She just didn't want to hear any of it. She told me not to bother, that she never wanted to hear from me again. 'Just go away. Go away, Edward!' And that, sir, was the last thing your daughter ever said to _me_." I locked my eyes on Charlie's for this last sentence for a brief moment before breaking his gaze. Of course, the last thing my own Bella had ever said to me had been _Wait!_ How I wished I'd listened.

Charlie was silent for what felt like ages. He stood staring at me in this room where his beloved daughter, where my beloved Bella had once slept so many years ago. This room he had converted to an office after he'd lost her forever, though not for quite the reason he believed. Finally, he fumbled behind himself until he located his desk chair, and he slowly eased himself into it. He blew air between his lips, sounding defeated. "Well, I guess that answers that. Sure wish she would've told me. We could've come up with something. I don't know what. But something." He was lost in thought briefly, and I silently swore once again that I could not be certain of his precise musings. It seemed that he believed my story, though, and that was a very good sign, particularly considering that I had barely thought of words before they spilled out of my mouth. I was a better liar than I'd given myself credit for. "Thank you, Edward, I've always wondered. Guess I wanted to blame you. Easier than blaming myself."

"It wasn't your—"

He held up a hand to silence me. "Don't tell me it wasn't my fault, kid. I've been over that night a thousand times, no, _ten_ thousand times in my head. There were so many things I could've done, so many things I _should've_ done." How well I knew that feeling. "But it looks like you didn't do anything, at least not anything you could help. Carlisle got a new job, had to get it to pay for you kids to go to school. What could you do but go with him? I loved my daughter, but she could be a little too sensitive sometimes. Sounds like she took it real personal." He stared into the distance for a time, then heaved a great sigh. Suddenly, I heard his thoughts change, though to what I could not be certain. It seemed that I wasn't off the hook just yet. "So you explained what happened almost 4 years ago. Now would you mind telling me exactly what you're doing in my house?"

Right. I hadn't gotten quite that far yet, had I? "Well, sir, it's a little… Embarrassing." Indeed it was embarrassing to have no answer to that question. "You see, I—I suppose I never really got over Bella. Of course, I didn't know what had happened to her. I considered writing her, or trying to call, but she'd been so furious with me that last night. I'd been thinking about transferring to a college near here, but I wanted to see her first, to see if she was still interested in me." Charlie's eyes narrowed, but I continued unaffected. "I hadn't even talked this over with Carlisle yet. I had some time off from classes, so I just came down on a whim. I'd planned to get here hours ago, but..." I suddenly became increasingly aware of the fact that I had no car nearby and no way of getting to one in a plausible length of time. "My car overheated just outside of Port Angeles. I had it towed to be looked at there, and then I… Well, I hitchhiked the rest of the way." I tried to look sheepish. "By the time I got here it was so late, I really wasn't thinking anymore, I just wanted to see her right away. I noticed her truck wasn't outside and I thought 'oh great, she probably went away to college somewhere else, way to think things through, Cullen,' but I had to be sure before I just left after everything I went through to get here." I hoped I had sounded believably youthful. Sometimes I had trouble with sounding older than my supposed years. "I'd seen Bella use the spare key once, so I used it to get in and I came up here. When I knocked over the filing cabinet, I panicked, I was going to um, jump out the window before you came in," I finished lamely, trying to explain the noise as well as the still-open window.

Charlie gaped at me, horrified. "Let me see if I got this right. You were dating Bella for a couple of months, then you left town and never spoke to her again, never so much as exchanged a Christmas card with her. Three, almost four years later, you figured you'd just up and change schools to be near her, with no idea if she even remembered your name." I cringed at the idea of Bella forgetting my name. "So, on a wild hair, you drove out here to see what she thought about that plan. Didn't call first to see if she was going to school here, or hell, if she was even still alive, which she happened to not be, but that's neither here nor there. Just drove on out from wherever you're going to school. Your car broke down an hour away, but instead of throwing up your hands at that point and realizing what a damn fool's errand you were on, you _hitchhiked, _put your own safety in the hands of some total stranger, the kind of person who picks up a 20-year-old hitchhiker no less, the rest of the way here. Then you got here and realized it was the middle of the night and her car wasn't here, so you decided you'd just let yourself in, not pausing to wonder if maybe in 3 years' time she might've replaced that truck anyway. Then you made your way up here and accidentally made a loud noise, so you figured you'd just _jump out of a second-story window_ rather than getting caught? What was your next plan? Drag yourself to the hospital by your teeth after you broke your arms and legs?"

I grimaced. It really had been a dreadful story. I would need to think of a better excuse before I found myself in this type of situation with a different Charlie. "Well, I hadn't gotten that far, sir. I panicked. When you put it that way, I guess it all sounds a bit… Impulsive."

"You think?" Charlie shook his head, incredulous. "Yeah, but I've been a kid, Edward. I know what it's like. You're young, you think you're in love, nothing can change your mind. Well, I guess no harm done really. Somehow you managed to make it here safely. Sorry I didn't have any better news for you about Bella. Sorry about the, uh, rifle too." He gestured toward the weapon, still laying on the floor where he'd dropped it.

He'd really believed my ridiculous story? I remembered what Bella had told me about her parents, how Charlie and Renee had married young, how Renee had taken off to live in a small town with Charlie without a second thought. I smiled sadly and realized that Chief Swan's own past had made him more likely to believe in the capabilities of youthful infatuation to make someone do something so stupid as to drive hundreds of miles to an ex-girlfriend's house in the middle of the night. "I understand," was all I said.

He nodded at me once. "You want me to call Carlisle for you? He's probably worried."

"No thank you, sir. I've been attending the University of Alaska," I said, naming a school that I had mentioned to Bella as a place we might later attend together. "He doesn't even know I've left, and frankly, it would break his heart if he heard this news about Bella. I'm certain he would blame himself for what happened."

"I guess he would. Carlisle's a good man." Charlie's voice was gruff as he spoke, trying not to think again about the fate he believed had befallen his only child. "Wouldn't want him to think he was responsible. There was nothing he could've done, he was just looking out for his family's best interests. I'm sure I would've wanted to do the same in his shoes. University of Alaska, eh? That's pretty far from Topeka."

I stared at Charlie, trying to figure out what Topeka had to do with anything, when I suddenly remembered that was where I'd just told him my family had moved. I'd told the story too quickly to really process what I was saying, even with my own perfect recall. "Oh, yes. Carlisle has some cousins out there though, and it has an excellent science program." Strange that I hadn't even thought about my extended family in Denali when trying to decide how to investigate the whereabouts of my counterpart. Would it be all right to tell them about my situation? Carlisle had told me not to speak to anyone outside of the family, but I wasn't sure if he'd meant to include Tanya's group as well.

"Science, huh? Funny, somehow I had you pegged as an English major. The way you talk sometimes. Well, Edward, it's late. I know I've just laid some pretty heavy news on you, and to be honest, I wouldn't have minded if you hadn't shown up. Still, I can't really throw you out on the street with nowhere to go in the middle of the night. You're welcome to get some sleep on the couch, but I'm gonna need you to be out of here in the morning. I can pay for you to take a cab back to Port Angeles to check on your car, if you need me to." He rose from his chair, clearly indicating that the conversation was nearly at its end.

"No, thank you sir, I'll take care of it." I realized a real human would certainly need somewhere to sleep for a few hours. "I appreciate it. I'll leave first thing in the morning. You won't even know I was here. I'll try not to knock anything else over."

"All right then. There's some blankets and pillows in that closet," Charlie pointed vaguely. "Good luck, kid." He retrieved his rifle from the floor, then turned and started back to his own bedroom. He paused in the hallway and turned his head slightly, keeping his body facing away from me. "I guess I'm a little glad you came. Gave me a little closure. Least now I know what she was thinking when she ran out like that." He didn't wait for me to reply before continuing into his room and shutting the door behind him. I waited until I heard him set down his rifle, then I moved to shut the still-open window and quickly made certain the filing cabinet that I'd knocked over was steady. Next, I went to the closet, selected a blanket and pillow, and made my way to the living room. I placed the pillow and blanket strategically on the couch, rumpling them enough to look as if someone had slept here. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Charlie had several picture frames laying face-down throughout the room, and I knew without a doubt whose picture was in these frames. I wished there was something I could do, some way I could help ease his suffering, but I knew that it was for the best that he believed as he did. I also knew that there was nothing that could take away any fraction of the anguish he felt.

I had more pressing things to concern myself with. I still needed to find definitive answers. I needed to know for certain that Bella had been turned by James into an immortal, and I needed to find out whether my counterpart was alive. Clearly, I could not get these answers from Charlie, who now believed that my family lived in Topeka only because I'd told him this. At least I had managed to cause him to stop believing my family was responsible for her death. It certainly must have looked suspicious, even with fabricated evidence pointing to a random killer, that the Cullen family had left town on precisely the same night that Bella had disappeared. Now, at least, my family was no longer implicated, even though we truly had been liable for her disappearance.

I needed a few more moments to think before I could leave, and fortunately, Charlie had provided me with a place to do precisely that where I need not worry about being seen. Could I really entrust Tanya and her family with this information? I thought this over. Elezear had once been a member of the Volturi guard, and they knew that he was unlikely to ever return to them. The chances of him or his mate, Carmen, being summoned to Italy for any reason were slim, so it was unlikely that Aro would read him anytime soon. I could think of no specific reason why Aro might be interested in Tanya either, except in her capacity as a leader of a coven that had known to be closely affiliated with the Cullens. Kate could be another story. Aro could probably find a use for her abilities, but he already had Jane, who could cause much more devastating effects without needing to be so close, so she, too, seemed to be safe. That left Irina.

Ahh, yes. Irina would present a complication. According to my counterpart in the last universe, Irina and Laurent had become mates. I was at a severe handicap, having no idea what had become of Victoria's wrath after Bella had become a vampire, presuming, of course, that my theory turned out to be correct. If Laurent had come here, not realizing that Bella had been turned, and had been killed by the wolves, Irina would still be angry. If Victoria had been aware of Bella's transformation and had not yet moved against my family, Laurent's presence in Denali would be a liability. I had no way of knowing where his loyalties were. Clearly, in my own universe, he had been willing to betray his mate enough to kill the mate of a distant "relative." No, I could certainly not go to Denali and alert Laurent, and by proxy, Victoria, of my presence. If my family had somehow managed to elude Victoria, I refused to be responsible for her catching up to them. If only there were some way I could be certain of Laurent's fate.

I froze. _But there is_. I struck myself in the forehead for my ghastly oversight. In my own timeline, the wolves would have killed him if Alice hadn't distracted him, and in the universe I had just left, they had carried out their intent. The wolves would know precisely what had become of Laurent, and they would certainly not be inclined to share with Victoria the details of my conversation with them. I would be able to speak freely with the wolves, for the terms of the treaty specifically precluded them from speaking to any humans about our existence. The only trouble was, there was no alliance between my family and the wolves in this universe as in the last. I would need to think of a way to get them to _want_ to help me. I pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. Even if I could, by some miracle, get them to speak to me, they would not know or care where my family had gone. Still, it would be a starting point, and I had to try.

I listened intently for Charlie's thoughts. He was searching again, searching for someone he would never find. Searching for someone who, if I was correct, and I was sure that I was, did not exist. Searching for the unknown man who had brutalized and murdered his daughter. Searching for someone he could make to suffer as he had suffered. I knew something of suffering, and I hoped, perhaps in vain, that Charlie would someday find some way to ease his.

It was strange that I had scarcely spared a thought for how Bella's father must have suffered in my own timeline. I wasn't even certain what he'd thought had happened to her. I hadn't cared enough to wonder how her death had been perceived by the humans. All I had cared about was that she was gone, and that it had been my fault. I supposed they presumed her attacked by the same "bear" that had been roaming the woods in the preceding months. Did my own Bella's father blame himself for her death? Did he feel that, through his failure to find and kill the "bear" that had been attacking the people of Forks, he had condemned his own daughter? I wondered what the Charlie of my timeline dreamed about when he slept and whether he would ever be able to find some measure of peace.

Confident that Chief Swan was fast asleep, I silently slipped out the door, taking the key from its hiding place and locking it behind me. _Goodbye, Charlie._ I set off in the direction of the Quileute reservation. I would not be able to cross into their territory without violating the treaty, but I would be able to get close enough to attract their attention. Close enough, I hoped, to get some answers.

**I really think Charlie's dialogue sounded more like the movie Charlie than the book Charlie, but it came so easily that way!**


	9. Measuring the Treaty

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Nine – Measuring the Treaty

I made my way swiftly toward the reservation. It had only been a few days since my own family had implored me to hunt, but I nevertheless paused on the way to take down a deer. I was not certain how long I would need to wait, and if the wolves were to believe that I was who I claimed to be, it would be best for my eyes to be as golden as possible.

From what I had learned during my last stop, the wolves carried some manner of recessive gene that would activate only in the presence of my kind. Once changed, they would remain wolves until they chose to retire, which they could do only once the threat of "the cold ones," as they called us, had been eliminated. It may have been three years since they'd last seen a vampire, which meant that it was possible that the wolves were no more. Still, I felt it likely that at least Sam, the alpha of the "main" pack, would have probably chosen to remain a wolf, and if he had chosen to do so, a handful of the others may have stayed as well. I didn't find it likely that Leah Clearwater or Jacob Black would have chosen to remain wolves, if there had been another option. Jacob had come to terms with being a wolf only after the birth of Renesmee. Prior to this, he would have been perfectly happy to go back to believing that the tales of his ancestors' evolution from wolves had been mere legends.

Leah, of course, had loathed being a wolf, but she had been even less cheerful under Sam's leadership. Sam, who had once been _her_ Sam, who had abandoned her the moment he laid eyes on Emily, and whose thoughts of his new love she had been forced to endure. Since Renesmee had never been born in this timeline, Jacob would never have had reason to accept his new life, nor would he have had reason to go up against Sam and form a separate pack for Leah to join. Given the choice between resuming her human life and continuing to remain under Sam's rule, Leah would have departed their ranks without hesitation.

I soon reached the border of the Quileute lands. The treaty prohibited me from venturing further, so I stood very still and waited.

And waited.

The sun rose, shedding a hazy light over the river up ahead. Still I waited.

I began to toss the bottle cap up into the air and catch it while I considered what my next move would be. If I was able to learn anything useful from the wolves, I could determine whether it would be safe to visit the Denali clan. Even if Laurent was dead and there was no risk of exposure to Victoria, I believed that Irene would probably be displeased at my visit. I would probably be able to ask Tanya to step away for a few moments to fill me in on the details of my family's whereabouts, but I still thought I preferred not to fully disclose the situation to her. Somehow, I felt certain that when Carlisle had told me to share details only with my family, he had meant my own counterpart and the six or seven (if Bella was alive in a given universe) people with whom he generally shared his living arrangement. With that in mind, I would need to think of a way to explain why I had been separated from Carlisle and needed her help in getting back to him. My specific gifts gave me an advantage, since I would not need her to actually _tell _me where my family was, only to think about their location.

I could simply tell her that I had been tracking a threat to our family. A rival coven. I thought vaguely of Maria. Yes, if Alice had seen Maria coming to pay us another visit, I would be able to say that I had gone to follow her at a distance to learn what her purpose was in coming. This would be a mission that may take several weeks. I could claim that my family had stopped answering their phones and I had grown worried, wondering if they had been attacked. _Have you spoken to Carlisle recently? Did he say anything about needing to move immediately?_ I nodded to myself. That would probably work. It would be enough to make her have a mental flash of where Carlisle had been staying, or possibly even think of calling him, which would give me a phone number. With an area code, I would be able to find him. My family always changed phone numbers when we moved. If we kept our old phone numbers, the human doctors that Carlisle worked with would know where we had last lived, and that information could eventually be used to track down too much information about us.

How would I explain why I was on this mission without Bella? If my theory held true, and Bella was alive, it would be difficult to believe that I was on a lengthy spying mission without her. If she were still human, I could easily explain it away by saying that it was unsafe for her to come along, but if she'd been changed three years ago, I would have no legitimate reason for leaving her at home. No, in fact, if I truly _were_ trying to pinpoint the thoughts of a specific target, it might be beneficial to have Bella along. She could use her gifts to shield other nearby targets from me and allow me to focus more easily.

I continued to try to plan out the tale I would weave for Tanya, trying to anticipate her questions and suspicions. I was grateful that I had more time to think this time than I'd had the previous night with Charlie. The sun was beginning to set once more, and still I stood, several feet on the Cullen side of the treaty line, waiting for the arrival of my natural enemies. I would not be able to tell the wolves the full truth either, lest they suspect that the "cold ones" had grown more powerful than before, but I believed that I would have an easier time with them. There was no doubt that they were intelligent, but their knowledge of how vampires truly lived and thought was limited. I could use this to my advantage.

Night had fallen, and still I stood.

Waiting.

At last, I heard a low grumbling noise in the distance. I listened closely and determined that there were three of them. They had no discernible thoughts at this precise moment. They were working on instinct, tracking, running together toward a common enemy.

Me.

I could not quite see them yet, because they were using the trees for cover. They had begun to slow down, stalking toward me. I tried to imagine how they must look. Sam would be among them. I wondered who the other two were. Surely not Seth. It would be advantageous to me if he were one of them, cheerful as he was, but he'd been so young when he changed. I hoped that Sam wouldn't expect him to come along on a dangerous mission. He wouldn't even be finished with school yet. I chuckled quietly to myself at the irony that I was worried about one of the wolves. If Carlisle had only known what manner of strange things I would see, would he have even built this device?

Of course he would. I truly hoped that I could tell him one day of the wonders I had observed and would likely continue to witness.

At last, I could just begin to make out the wolves' shapes up ahead, on the other side of the river. Their thoughts were still largely animalistic, but I could make out vague concepts like "slowly.. slowly.." No specific voice was given to these thoughts, as they seemed to be the thoughts of all three in unison. They caught sight of me and began to charge.

I stood serenely, arms at my side, and took a breath. "Hello," I said, my voice perfectly calm, mimicking exactly the voice I had used when I had spoken these words to Bella Swan so long ago.

One of the wolves leapt into the air. He was going to pounce directly onto me. I recognized him, from Jacob's memories, as Sam Uley, the pack's Alpha.

"My name is Edward Cullen," I finished.

_Sam, no!_ It was Jacob Black's voice I heard, but it resonated strangely. It almost sounded like there were two of him. Jacob was still a wolf?

Meanwhile, Sam, who I had been convinced would crash into me and knock me backward, froze in midair. He seemed to hang there for a fraction of a second, as if suspended. Then, he came crashing straight to the ground, in a vertical line, pulled by some unseen force. He landed neatly in a half-crouch, just a few feet from me. He snapped his jaws in my direction, struggling against invisible arms which held him back.

_Sorry, Sam, but if he's a Cullen, we can't touch him there. It would violate the treaty._ Jacob's mental voice had returned to normal. Sam let out a disgruntled snort before backing up to fall in line with the other two wolves, never turning his back on me. He stood at Jacob's right, and the third wolf stood to Jacob's left, both slightly behind the middle wolf.

Jacob… Was the Alpha? Was _Sam's_ Alpha?

I didn't understand, but it was the only plausible explanation. Jacob had given the order not to attack me, and Sam had been compelled to obey, though he had not felt particularly disposed to do so. The order, too, had sounded different. It had echoed within the minds of all three wolves. That must be what an Alpha order sounded like. Remarkable. Alpha orders seemed to have the ability to defy even the laws of physics. Sam's trajectory could not have been interrupted in that manner if he had _chosen_ not to lunge at me. He'd been in midair. Nothing could have stopped him.

Nothing but his master's voice.

_All right guys, I'm going to phase back so we can talk to him and find out what he wants_, began Jacob. _Sam, Quil, you two stay put. We do _not_ attack unless he makes the first move, you understand? I really don't want to have to order you._

_ Jacob, no! _Sam implored him. _I'll phase. It's too risky. The pack needs you._

_ Sam, Ephriam Black made the original treaty with _them_. I should be the one to do… whatever it is he wants now._

_ Levi Uley was there too!_

_ Uh, guys? Quil Ateara was involved too. And you're _both_ too important. I'll do it._ The third wolf piped up from Jacob's left.

_Shut up, shut up, shut up!_ Jacob cried out silently. He let out a short bark to accompany his thoughts. _Listen, you know I hate to give Alpha orders, and I just had to give one to keep Sam from violating the treaty and screwing us all over. Please don't make me give out another._

"Actually," I interrupted, "none of you need to phase. I can hear you perfectly well. Feel free to remain in your wolf forms, if you feel safer."

The three wolves stopped bickering and stared at me.

_You… You can hear us?_

"Yes, Jacob, I can." I heard their simultaneous mental gasp and realized what they feared. "Oh, no, not all of us can. As far as I know, I am the only one of our kind with this specific gift. I know of one other with a similar gift, but his requires physical contact to function."

They relaxed almost imperceptibly at that, though all three remained on guard. Quil began to pace back and forth behind the other two.

_All right, uhh, I feel a little stupid here. You sure you can really hear us? If I suddenly thought about, I dunno, watermelons?_

I couldn't stop myself from smiling at Jacob's test. Of course he would not be accustomed to communicating silently with others outside of his pack. "I would have thought you would prefer to think about meat or bread, but if for some reason you thought of watermelons, yes, I would know it."

Sam grunted. _All right, Jacob, he's proven his point. Let's find out what he wants and get this over with so I can get home to Emily._

"I won't keep you from your imprint for long, Sam." Sam barked in surprise at my use of the term _imprint_. "Yes, I know about that too. I just have a few questions; then I'll be on my way."

_It's a trick, Jake. _Quil remained suspicious. _He knows too much. Things he shouldn't know about us. Things no bloodsucker should know about us! What kind of questions could he have for us when he already knows so much?_

_ Shhhh, be quiet, Quil. Let's see what he has to say before we decide whether to answer. _Jacob was still tense, but seemed genuinely curious about my intentions.

_I agree with Quil, _added Sam. _Something isn't right. And the treaty certainly didn't say anything about our ever being required to talk to the Cullens._

_ Well it didn't say that we wouldn't talk to them either, _Jacob thought reasoned. _Let's face it, he wouldn't have come here to talk to us if it wasn't important._

I allowed myself a few seconds, while the wolves argued amongst themselves about my presence and whether I was a threat, to ponder what could have caused this unexpected shift in events. Jacob was the Alpha wolf. In the last place I had visited, Sam had been Jacob's Alpha when he'd joined the pack. I went back over all of the things Bella had told me during the five days I had spent with her. Sam had been the oldest living descendent of the Quileute wolves. As a result, he had been the first of this generation to undergo the transformation, and so had accepted leadership of the pack. It was Jacob, however, who had been the pack's true Alpha due to bloodlines and traditions. When Jacob changed, he'd chosen to defer to Sam's leadership. He hadn't wanted to be a wolf in the first place, he'd explained to Bella, let alone lead them.

But what could have been different here that would have caused him to accept that responsibility? I thought back to the circumstances surrounding Jacob's transformation. After I had left, Bella had sunk into a deep despair. After several months, she had discovered that physically dangerous activities would cause her to hear my voice. In her search to find something dangerous to do, she had discovered two motorcycles in need of repair and had brought them to Jacob Black. In hindsight, Bella had told me, it was apparent that he'd already begun to transform. He had grown enormous seemingly overnight, but she had chalked it up to a growth spurt. Over the course of several weeks, Jacob had restored the bikes, and the two had formed a deep bond. Shortly after this, he had completed his transformation into a wolf.

Of course! Jacob wasn't opposed to the idea of being a wolf because of his personal feelings about embodying the essence of an animal. He had found the idea distasteful because of his growing relationship with Bella. He'd wanted to be with her, even though she hadn't yet allowed herself to acknowledge her feelings for him, and he viewed the change as a nuisance, something that would inevitably keep him from her. I understood how he must have felt, and indeed, had it been possible for me to renounce being a vampire or to forget about it as frequently as possible in order to ensure Bella's safety with me, I would have done so gladly.

With no Bella to make him want to hold onto his humanity, Jacob Black had embraced the conversion and the responsibility that had come with it. Jacob had been born to lead the pack, and in the absence of extenuating circumstances like falling in love, he had met that challenge head-on. Sam had readily accepted his rightful position as the pack's Beta, advising Jacob on important matters until Jacob had time to fully understand his new duties. Quil, as one of Jacob's closest friends and direct descendent and namesake of Quil Ateara, had become Jacob's Third.

_You know guys, the sooner you shut your pie-holes and let him talk, the sooner we'll be done with this, _Jacob was muttering at the others.

_Fine,_ Sam snapped.

_Fine, _Quil grumbled.

_All right then, now that we're all in _agreement_ here… Hello, Edward Cullen. I am Jacob Black, and this is Sam Uley and Quil Ateara. We are protectors of the people in this region. We come from a long line of protectors like ourselves. As you must already be aware, our grandfathers made a treaty with your clan some 70 years ago. I gather from your positioning, just barely on your own side of the treaty line, that you are aware of the terms of this treaty. Why do you come here tonight?_

His sudden formality made me smile once again. As a show of good faith, I backed up a few more feet into my own side of the treaty line. I decided to reciprocate the formality. "I do not mean any harm, nor is it my intent to damage the treaty, into which my father entered with your grandfathers in good faith. I have come in the hopes that you may feel inclined to assist me. Of course, I realize that you are under no obligation to do so, but it is my wish that you will choose to help."

The wolves listened intently to my words. Jacob had his head cocked slightly to one side. Quil continued to pace back and forth, but never took his eyes off of me no matter which way he moved. I continued. "I am investigating the disappearance of Isabella Swan."

All three tensed at the mention of Bella's name. Jacob's head snapped back to an upright position. Quil froze in mid-step. The fur on Sam's back began to ruffle and stand on its end. _The Swans are a friend to the Quileute people, and to my family._ Jacob warned me. _The treaty prevents us from telling Charlie Swan of our suspicions, but we are certain that your… _Family_ was involved in her disappearance. The people of Forks believe her dead, but we know better. We know that there were others of _your kind_ on the night that she disappeared, and we know that she did not go alone when she left town. If you have come to try to deceive us into believing otherwise…_

"No, no," I interrupted Jacob quickly. "I became separated from my family three years ago following the incident with the Swan girl." This much was not a lie. There had been an incident with Bella three years previously in my own timeline, and I had left my family following it. I was not truly lying; I could not be faulted for the wolves' wrongful assumption that the incident I referred to was the same one they spoke of.

"I am uncertain of her fate, although I do know that what you've told me thus far is true. Three others of my kind found her in the company of my family. One of them pursued her actively, while another ran guard. The third separated, not wishing to be caught in the middle of a battle he could not hope to win. My family went in separate directions to lead the others away from the girl. She was being protected by my youngest brother and sister while I went with my father and other brother to actively pursue her attacker. My mother and other sister went in another direction in Bella's truck to misdirect them. I am unsure as to what transpired next. This is why I need your help," I pleaded. Again, I had not lied. I knew _some _of the events that happened next, but not all of them.

_We have not heard from Isabella Swan, nor from any of your family since you all disappeared. I do not know what information you think we can provide, _Jacob answered.

"I know that. What I hoped to find out is whether you have seen any others of our kind. Others who do kill humans. Others with whom you have no treaty."

Jacob was quiet for a long moment. _Sam? _

_I don't see what harm it can do to tell him. If it's vengeance he seeks, the three of us can take him out easily, _Sam told him.

_What if there's more of them hiding out there? _Quil spoke up. _What if he's brought a whole army of leeches with him? It could be a trap!_

_If there were others in striking range, we would have detected their scent, _Sam said rationally. _And if they are out of striking range, they pose no threat to us now. If it is a trap, it's a poorly-laid one._

_I agree with Sam, _Jacob told Quil. _All right then, Edward Cullen. Yes, we have seen others of your kind. Two of them. A few months after you disappeared, we found a bloodsucker running through the area. He came from the direction of the home where your _family_ lived. _I did not miss the way he overemphasized "family" each time he used the word, nor the mocking tone to his thoughts. _It seemed like he was heading into town to look for something else when we found him. We chased him, but we weren't able to catch up to him. He eventually made it into Canada, and we lost his trail shortly after that._

So Laurent had been here. He had been to our home and discovered that we were gone, and had been on his way to Bella's house to see if she was still here when the wolves had caught notice of him. Without running into Bella in the meadow, he hadn't tarried long enough for the wolves to catch him.

_A few days later, _Jacob continued, _the redhead showed up. She kept trying and trying to get into town, but we cut her off at every pass. She was relentless. Wouldn't give up, even when she was clearly beaten. _He stopped there, seemingly unwilling to finish.

"What happened after that?" I implored him.

_Man, what if he really is after revenge? _Jacob thought. It was directed internally, not intended for myself or his pack to hear.

"I assure you, I would not mourn her loss in the slightest."

_Come on Jacob, I want to be finished with this already! Emily doesn't like it when I'm gone for so long without circling back to the house. _Sam interjected. Jacob grunted at him. _After a couple of weeks of playing chicken with her, _Sam continued, taking Jacob's unwillingness to continue as his cue to do so, _she finally jumped into the river, apparently thinking that she could elude us that way. We are natural-born swimmers, you know. It was Jacob who leaped in after her. Jumping into the water was the last thing she ever did. Jacob saw to that personally. _Sam swelled with pride at his Alpha's kill.

_I remember that day,_ Quil reflected quietly. _That was the day Harry Clearwater died._

I considered all of this information. Laurent had come first on a scouting mission because we would not have destroyed him on sight, knowing that he had recently spent time with the Denali clan. Once he had reported back to Victoria that we were gone, she was free to come after Bella herself. The wolves had never allowed her to get close enough to establish that Bella no longer lived in Forks, so she had kept trying, believing that she would soon persevere. In another universe, she had succeeded in getting away when she'd jumped into the river. But in that timeline, Jacob had only had time enough to either kill Victoria or save Bella. He'd chosen to save Bella, and Victoria had gone free. Here, there had been no Bella to keep Jacob from his target, and Victoria had perished.

This was excellent news, the best possible outcome. Irina would not be irate with my family, since Laurent was still alive, and without Victoria to report to, he bore no specific ill wishes toward Bella. Certainly, he would just as soon drink her blood as speak to her, but it was not out of a sense of vengeance or hatred that he felt this way. It was only due to his way of thinking that humans were mere food for our kind. He had no reason to want Bella dead any moreso than any other human. And in any event, I was still sure that Bella was no longer human. In that case, Laurent posed no threat to her at all.

It seemed that I would be heading to Denali next after all.

"I thank you kindly for your time. You've told me all I needed to know," I addressed the wolves.

_Hold it, bloodsucker,_ Jacob snarled at me. _There's still the matter of what happened to her. If she'd lived through that little hunt, I assume your _family_ would've returned her home, and if she'd died, I assume they would've left her body to be found too._

"Yes, I had arrived at that same assumption, though I am not yet certain."

_You know the terms of the treaty. _Jacob was stalking closer to the line. To his right and his left, Sam and Quil followed suit. _If one of you bit her, we would be within our rights to tear you apart right now._

"I do not believe it was one of my family who bit her. I told you that three of our kind discovered the Swan girl. One was called Laurent, he was the one you chased away. The female you killed was called Victoria. The third was called James. I believe, though I cannot be certain, that he bit her shortly before he perished. It was not his intention to change her, but rather, to consume her blood—" Jacob shuddered, but I ignored him, "However, if my theory is correct, he was pulled away from her and killed by my brothers before he could finish the job. The venom would have gone to her heart in minutes, and she may have been too badly injured to survive without undergoing the change."

Jacob's thoughts betrayed his surprise at my explanation, but he quickly regained his composure. _Give me one good reason why we should believe you. Tell me why we should let you live, Edward Cullen._

"If I did not sincerely believe that what I've told you is the truth, why would I come here to speak with you?"

Jacob stopped advancing, and Sam and Quil followed suit. _If we find that the treaty has been broken…_

"I told you that I cannot be certain. I can only tell you that what I've said tonight, I believe wholeheartedly to be factual. I am at your mercy."

Jacob glowered at me. For several minutes, the four of us stood there, facing each other down on opposing sides of the river. _Get out of here, _he finally ordered me. _Get out of here, and speak to no one of this. _With that, Jacob Black, Alpha Wolf, turned his back on me and ran deeper into his own territory. Sam continued to stare me down for a few more seconds, then turned and followed. Quil kept his eyes locked on mine.

_Get going then._

I nodded. "Thank you again." Since he was reluctant to turn his back on me, I turned away instead and started running toward Alaska.


	10. Coincidence

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Ten – Coincidence

As I ran to Alaska, I had plenty of time to consider the events that had transpired over the past two nights. This universe was vastly different from the one I had just left (I made a mental note to begin numbering universes: My own universe, I would call Universe One, the first place I had visited would be Universe Two, and this place would be Universe Three. It would cut down on confusion later when I mentally sorted things out, and when I one day filled Carlisle in on everything I had seen). In Universe Two, seemingly everyone was happy. Bella and her own Edward were happy and had a daughter, who was also happy with her future mate, Jacob. Charlie was happy with his new girlfriend and soon-to-be fiancée, if Bella was correct in her assumptions, and with having a daughter who was not quite _living_, but definitely not _dead_. Here, everything was very different. Jacob Black was likely without a mate, but he seemed to revel in his role as the pack leader and throw all of his energy into that. I was sure that Bella had become a vampire. Jacob seemed to believe the same. In all likelihood, the Cullens would all be happy. If Laurent was still alive, as I assumed he was, Irina would doubtlessly be happy (and alive) as well, and Victoria was gone and would never plague my family again.

Everything seemed to have worked out quite well here too, for everyone except for Charlie. Charlie would be forever haunted by the memories of his beloved daughter's last words to him and tortured by thoughts of the agony he knew she must have endured in her last moments. Now, thanks to me, he blamed himself fully for what took place, whereas before, he had at least been able to pin the blame on Edward. I felt terribly about this; Charlie Swan was a good man in any universe and did not deserve a lifetime of mental anguish. He did not deserve to suffer as I had suffered these past 3 years.

I wondered if I should warn my family about the conversation I'd had with the wolves. If they decided to return to Forks after a few generations, they may find themselves needing to answer for a crime they had not committed. On the other hand, Jacob Black had asked me not to speak to anyone about his words. Did he truly expect Edward Cullen, for he assumed I was the Edward Cullen native to Universe Three, not to share with his own family that the wolves believed the treaty broken? No, I decided, I must warn them of the danger they could be in if they returned to Forks. They should not be blind sighted, particularly if the Quileute legends claimed that Edward Cullen had once spoken to the pack's Alpha. At a minimum, I would need to let my counterpart know what had taken place. He should know, too, that Victoria was gone.

As I began to draw nearer to Tanya's house, I realized that I still had not come up with a plausible reason why Bella would not be with me. Certainly, it was possible that my theory was incorrect, that she was still human, in which case I would not need to explain at all. Therefore, I needed to have an excellent explanation, but not one that I would feel compelled to blather about immediately. Perhaps I could claim that Bella had wanted to run back to Forks to observe her father from afar? I shook my head. No, it would be far too dangerous for Bella to go near Forks now that she had been transformed. Too many people in town knew her and believed her dead. If anyone saw her…

Just then, a strong gust of wind came unexpectedly and blew a large branch into my path. It happened too quickly for even vampire reflexes to react. Although I was wholly unharmed, the branch caught my shirt and ripped a large hole in it. I let out a short string of curses. Now I would be visiting the Denali clan in torn clothing. What Cullen would ever be caught in public like this? Alice would be appalled.

Suddenly, I realized this could be the answer to my predicament. Bella was not with me because I had torn my shirt and needed her to run to the nearest town to buy a new one for me so that I could be presentable enough to meet Alice's approval when I returned home. Even as I thought it, the excuse didn't sound good enough. Although it was true that I would have bought a new shirt before returning home to Alice's wrath if this entire tale I'd woven were true, there as really nothing preventing me from simply going into a town myself with a rip in my shirt.

Unless…

A slow smile spread over my face. I had hunted only hours before and did not really need to feed, but I certainly would need evidence. I leapt upon the first deer I found and tore into its flesh easily, being careful not to actually begin feeding. Even though I was not particularly thirsty, I feared that I would not be able to do what I needed to if I had tasted too much of its blood. The venom paralyzed the deer, and I smeared its blood all over my clothing. Once I was certain I'd splattered myself enough, I decided to go ahead and finish off the deer after all. No one would argue that it would be unwise for me to go into a town covered in blood. Although I was normally a very neat eater, I could simply claim that I'd been sloppy on this occasion because I had fed so quickly, trying to make sure I remained close enough to Maria to track her movements, but far enough that she remained unaware of mine. The story was not so elaborate as to sound deliberately crafted as an excuse to send Bella on an errand.

Chuckling to myself at my own cleverness, I finished the trek to Denali, mentally going over the details one last time. Satisfied that I had covered all of my bases, I approached the house, pausing to listen to the mental voices of those inside. I heard Kate, Carmen, and Eleazar, apparently playing some kind of card game together. Irina was there with Laurent. I guessed that he had decided to remain a vegetarian after the last remaining member of his coven had stopped contacting him. He had nowhere else to go, and did not seem particularly inclined to travel alone. I was unsure about the strength of his bond with Irina, but if they were truly mates, he would be perfectly willing to try for her, even if it would forever be a struggle. Tanya was home too, but she was talking to…

I couldn't decide if this was the best possible luck, or the worst.

_Worst, unless you're prepared to explain to me who you are and why you're looking for me, _my counterpart answered from inside.

_I promise you that I mean no harm to you or to anyone you care for. Will you be able to excuse yourself for a moment to speak with me?_

_ It doesn't seem that we're having any trouble speaking to one another now._

_ True, but I do prefer to see things with my own eyes. _

"Tanya, we appreciate your hospitality, but Bella and I must be heading home now. I promised Esme we wouldn't be gone more than a few days," I heard Edward say.

"Leaving so soon? All right, come back anytime. It's always such a pleasure to see any of you. Tell Carlisle and Esme we expect the whole family to come by soon. Laurent hasn't seen any of them since he first met you!" Tanya was enthusiastic in her reply, but I could read in her thoughts that she was ever so slightly relieved that her company was leaving. She was happy for Edward, of course, but she had a little trouble watching him behave so blissfully with his wife.

Edward picked up on her thoughts too, but did not acknowledge them in any way. "Laurent, thank you for your honesty tonight. Truly, no harm was done at all and there is nothing to apologize for."

"I still feel that what I did amounted to betrayal. If she _had_ still been human at the time…" Laurent shuddered mentally. "For awhile, I didn't feel too badly about what I'd tried to do, but the more time I spent with Irina and her family, the longer I actually managed to stick to this new lifestyle, the more I began to feel a terrible guilt. This was the only way I could make things right."

"Laurent, I don't blame you at all for what you did." The most glorious voice in heaven and Earth spoke up. Bella continued, "You had been with Victoria and James in their coven for so long, and you really had no reason to be loyal to our extended family yet. Besides, as Edward said, no harm was done. I wasn't even in Forks at the time. I'm just glad you managed to get away from the wolves. I would feel so horrible if they'd caught you. Carlisle will be interested to hear of their return, I'm sure."

"Still," Laurent said, and I began to watch him closely through my counterpart's thoughts. His eyes were golden with not a trace of red, and they looked downwardly, full of shame. "To think that I'd spent time with your cousins here, then went on a scouting mission for the most horrible kind of vengeance and _returned here_, as if it never even happened! If you had been human, I could have destroyed you that very day, or sent Victoria to do the job. And still I would have returned here to Irina, causing a rift in your family with my very presence. My actions were shameful, and nothing I can ever say would be apology enough." In spite of everything, I knew that Laurent's words of apology were genuine, and I realized that my own universe's Laurent probably felt badly for what he'd done to my family. Surprisingly, this did come as a small comfort to me. Perhaps it wouldn't have, if I didn't know that there was now hope of someday finding a Bella of my very own.

_So, you're from a different universe? What is this about what Laurent did?_

_I promise that I will explain everything to you, but I made my own Carlisle a promise that I would not reveal any of this information to anyone outside of the Cullen family._

"Laurent, in time, you will learn to forgive yourself. Bella is here, alive and well. You cannot undo what happened, but you can learn from it." I saw Laurent bow his head slightly at my counterpart's words.

"Bye Edward, bye Bella," Kate called cheerfully, looking up from her game. "Come back soon!" The others echoed similar sentiments, and Edward stepped outside with Bella after they said their farewells to everyone. He muttered something to her, too quietly for me to hear from a distance, but I assumed it was a warning about my presence.

_This way, _he informed me silently. _We'll go back home. Carlisle, that is to say, my own Carlisle, will be a bit put off if I tell him that I met you and didn't bring you with me for him to bombard with questions for a few hours._

I smiled and fell in beside them for the run back to where the Cullen family currently lived. Bella shot several tentative, curious glances in my direction, but said nothing. I had seen an identical vampire Bella only two days ago, but it still took an incredible amount of restraint not to reach out and stroke her cheek. Universe Two's Edward had experienced several months without Bella and so knew some degree of my pain, while this Edward had spent only moments worrying about her fate. He would probably not be as forgiving.

_Probably not,_ he agreed. _Do us all a favor and keep your hands to yourself._

It was good, then, that I had spent several days in Universe Two. I would surely have found myself torn to shreds if I'd come to this place first. I decided to drop back a few paces behind and follow as a gesture of good faith. Besides, I liked the sight of Bella running. She was so graceful, so unlike how my own Bella had been, it was mesmerizing and oddly sensual.

_I can't really ask you to keep your eyes to yourself, but I would appreciate it if you'd try._

_Sorry. I'm beginning to understand why the family gets so annoyed with me for never allowing them a thought to themselves._

Bella and Edward were speaking to one another quietly, and I dropped back a few more paces to _try_ to allow them some privacy. I couldn't help catching occasional snippets of conversation from Edward's thoughts, and they were discussing my presence here. She wanted to know where I'd come from and what I wanted, and he'd told her that I seemed to be from another universe and was looking for her. He reassured her that he would certainly not allow anyone, even himself, to take her away from him.

_I would do no such thing. I promised myself that I would not take her away from any version of myself, nor from anyone with whom she'd found happiness. I may spend so long looking for her that I have to give up the search because she cannot possibly be alive anymore, but I must try. _I informed him.

We arrived at the Cullens' new home, and I realized that I had not been paying attention at all to where we were going, so enthralled was I with Bella's movements. I would have to try to find out, since it was likely that another group of Cullens in another universe would have moved out of Forks. It would save me a lot of the work I'd done over the past 24 hours if I already knew where their next most likely move would be. Of course, where they would have moved next may be subject to the circumstances surrounding the move. If Bella had been turned so unexpectedly and there had been more time to prepare, they may have chosen somewhere different, but it would still be a better starting point than needing to ask questions of the wolves and try to deceive my extended family.

Carlisle greeted Edward and Bella at the door. "Alice told us you'd be here in a few moments, and she said it seemed like you had some news, but everything turned to static after that." His eyes landed on me a moment later and went wide. "I see," was all he said. _Is everything all right?_

"Yes," said my counterpart, at the exact same time that I said "No."

Carlisle rubbed his temples. "Come in, all of you, I can see this is going to take some time to straighten out."


	11. Reunion

**I'm thinking about combining some of the existing chapters together, because at the rate I'm going with these short chapters, with the story I want to tell, it's going to end up being close to a hundred chapters before I'm done. But updates will come even slower if I try to write longer chapters, so maybe I'll just leave it alone. I haven't decided.**

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Eleven – Reunion

Although I already knew, more or less, how the scene at my family's house would play out, I hesitated in the doorway in order to allow my counterpart and his wife (had they gotten married? I suddenly realized that I wasn't certain) their homecoming.

"Hi guys!" Alice called cheerfully. "I told you it would all make sense why the Denalis wanted to see the two of you. Wasn't it nice of Laurent to apologize for something he didn't even do?" I scowled, knowing that I was the only one present who realized that Laurent's mission would have been carried out fully under different circumstances. "Hey Bella," she continued brightly, "what's in Topeka?"

Topeka? Now that was a strange coincidence.

"Umm," Bella replied apprehensively, "Kansans?" Her discomfort was evident, and her eyes darted briefly to the doorway.

All eyes turned to follow, and a perfect clone of Bella's mate stepped into the room. The five people in the room who were not yet aware of my presence let out a collective gasp. The first several minutes of explanations went exactly as they had in the second universe. I began by simply explaining that my own family had constructed a device to allow me to travel between universes, knowing that the most important concern was why there were two Edwards. I would go into the reasons they had built the device shortly. Alice was perplexed that she had not seen me, and I told her of the theories Universe Two's Carlisle had presented me with. Universe Three's Carlisle nodded his head in agreement. I also let her know that she was likely to get headaches very soon, and so I would try not to stay long.

I took a breath to await the question of why Bella was not accompanying me on this journey, but Alice had a different question this time.

"Edward,_ what_ happened to your _clothes?_" She turned up her nose at me in disgust. I had forgotten about my cover story for Tanya and her sisters, which had been rendered useless anyway.

"Oh, that. Carlisle gave me strict instructions not to inform anyone outside of the family about the device, which means that I regrettably must masquerade as your own Edward. I had a lengthy story planned as to why I was arriving alone. The blood was to explain that Bella had gone into town to buy new clothing for me, since I obviously couldn't walk around looking like this."

"Okay, I guess. We'll get you something to wear before you leave. I am _not_ letting you go anywhere else looking like _that._" I couldn't stop myself from smiling at Alice's obsession with making sure everyone looked their best at all times. "But what's the real reason Bella isn't with you?"

I smirked for just a fraction of a second, wondering whether Alice would always be the one to ask this question. As I began to recall the story for my family as Bella's whereabouts in my own universe, anything resembling an expression of amusement left my face.

"I'm glad that Laurent apologized to Bella and Edward for what he attempted to do," I started. "It saves me a few moments of explanation. You see, in my own timeline, I'm afraid he was very much successful in his mission to locate Bella, and he destroyed her during their meeting."

"What?" Bella was horrified.

"Not possible, Edward," Emmett chimed in. "Bella was still a newborn then. She would've ripped Laurent in half."

"There's simply no way we would have stayed in Forks after Bella was changed," added Jasper. "It would have drawn so much attention. We didn't even consider it as an option."

"Not to mention the hassle of trying to control both a newborn _and_ Jasper," Rosalie added with a haughty sniff that earned her a glare from Esme. "Well, he was still having a hard time back then," she added, a bit more kindly.

This was going to be more difficult to explain. In Universe Two, I had the benefit of a few more months' worth of shared experiences. Things had played out quite differently here. "Bella was still a human," I offered.

"I don't understand." It was Esme who spoke up this time, her brow furrowed in confusion. "You said that Laurent had gone looking for Bella as a favor to Victoria. If the encounter with James never took place, then Victoria would have no reason to seek Bella out."

"The encounter with James did take place," I said patiently.

"Bella became a vampire that night," Edward spoke up. "You're suggesting that I got there sooner? That he didn't have time to bite her and bring her too close to death to do anything but watch helplessly while she changed? Do you think I haven't been over that night so many times in my mind, wondering if I had done things differently, if I had been the one with her instead of Alice and Jasper, if I had given up on catching James sooner and gotten an earlier flight to Phoenix… But I've accepted that there was no other way, once the events were set into motion. I didn't miss anything. Your story doesn't add up."

Carlisle had been silent throughout this discussion so far. Suddenly, he began to go over medical procedures in his head, and I realized that his blocked thoughts were not for my benefit. Edward looked at him questioningly, and at last, Carlisle made a sound as if he'd been holding in a breath for the past 4 years and finally released it.

"Edward, there was another way," he said simply.

My counterpart took his eyes from me to look at Carlisle, then back to me. I allowed my thoughts to drift back to the day when I had sucked James's venom out of Bella's hand and nearly been the instrument of her death myself, and a look of horror filled his golden eyes.

"_No!_" he bellowed. "Carlisle, how could you keep something like that from me?" The anger was evident in his voice; I had no need to read his thoughts to ascertain that he felt betrayed.

"I'm sorry, son, it occurred to me in a flash while you were still distracted with James. I was certain it would be impossible for you to stop. We had talked at length about the appeal her blood held for you. Alice had already seen her becoming one of us, and I realized this must have been how it happened. I thought of how you would hate yourself if you killed her while trying to save her, so I simply allowed the change to happen without suggesting the alternative."

"How appealing her _blood_ was to me?" It seemed inconceivable, but Edward's voice had actually grown louder. "What about how appealing her _life_ was to me, Carlisle?" He took a step closer to his father, fists balled up. "You honestly thought that I would kill her? Don't you understand anything?"

"You wanted to kill her the first day you met her," Carlisle answered calmly, showing no sign of nervousness at his son's sudden aggression. "Decades of maintaining this diet, and you were prepared to throw it away just from her scent. Can you imagine, for just a moment, how you might have reacted if you'd actually tasted her blood?"

"That was before I knew her. Before I fell in love with her!" Edward took another step toward Carlisle and was now standing toe-to-toe with the man he called his father. "I trusted you to take care of her and you _let me take away her soul_ without a second thought!"

The sound of a choked sob broke the tension. Edward turned to see Bella hiding her face in her hands. Although she had lost the ability to cry years ago, she was heaving feverishly. At once, he was at her side again. "I'm sorry, love, I won't hurt him," he tried to comfort her.

"You didn't want to keep me. You're so mad at Carlisle for making you keep me. Well, if you didn't want me, you should have said something. I can find somewhere else to go."

I heard Edward mentally chastise himself. He had never had time to speak with Bella at length about the reasons he was hesitant to change her. Once she had been changed, mere months after they met, it had become a moot point. Now she had unexpectedly discovered how strongly he felt on the subject of her humanity, and in a typical Bella way, she had jumped to entirely the wrong conclusion. _Yes, that's very helpful. What do I tell her now? _ Edward pleaded with me silently for assistance.

"Bella," I told her quietly, "it had nothing to do with whether or not he wanted to keep you. He did, and he does, and he always will. But you only get once chance to live and die and be a normal human. You had a family that loved you, friends that cared for you, and a future that didn't involve fighting a persistent urge to slaughter everyone in your path. More importantly, you had a soul, and Edward didn't feel right taking those things from you just to satisfy his own selfish desire to keep you forever, no matter how desperately he wanted to. He didn't feel as badly about your change because he thought that it was the only way to save your life, although he does carry the guilt with him that he was the reason you were introduced to the vampire that nearly killed you. Now he found out that there was another option, one he hadn't considered, one that might have allowed you a chance to hold on to those things you had to leave behind to be with him. Can you understand at all why this could upset him?"

"No," Bella moaned, "But we'll talk more about it later." She pulled herself together, much to Edward's relief. "I still don't understand what happened to me in your timeline. So I lived through what happened with James, then I assume you came up with some kind of stunning story about why I looked like I'd been beaten with a spiked baseball bat. But I remember how protective you were of me when I was human. You hardly let me out of your sight for fifteen minutes. Even in school, you were watching me through everyone else's eyes to make sure I was okay. So why didn't _you_ fight Laurent off? Even if you were away hunting, why didn't Alice see him coming and send Jasper to help?"

I couldn't bring myself to meet her eyes. I had to tell her the truth, but she already thought that Edward hadn't wanted her. How could I possibly begin to explain that I had left her?

"You. Did. What." Edward was responding to my thoughts. The way he spoke now was quiet, calm. He spoke without any of the hostility he had just displayed toward Carlisle. His mind was another story. He had gone into a murderous rage. The only thing preventing him from severing my head from my body was that Bella stood between the two of us. All eyes in the room were shifting uncomfortably between the two Edwards, waiting for one of us to speak. It was he who finally did, voicing the words that I had suddenly found myself unable to speak. "He left her," he said simply.

Chaos broke out in the living room. Even with my more than adequate ability to process information, I couldn't keep track of everything that happened. Somehow, Carlisle and Esme had managed to place themselves between my brothers and myself. The couch on which Emmett had been seated was suddenly overturned, and I heard the sound of several vases being shattered. Bella had flung herself to the floor in despair and seemed unable to stop herself from shaking. Alice had returned to the room with an armload of clothing from Edward's closet, and her smile disappeared at the scene. The only person who had not moved at all was Rosalie. She sat in the corner giving herself a pedicure and humming absentmindedly to herself. _Moron,_ she thought, _but not worth ruining my toes over._

"Just tell me why," Edward snarled, struggling to break free of Carlisle's grip. "Whatever would possess you to do such a thing. Tell me _now!_" He was shouting again.

I began to speak as quickly as I could. "On Bella's eighteenth birthday, Alice decided to throw her a party."

"Of course I did!" Alice proclaimed, trying to lighten the mood. She had come up behind Jasper and was working to wrench him away before he broke through Carlisle and Esme to tear into me.

I continued. "Bella was opening one of her gifts when she got a paper cut. Jasper, as Rosalie pointed out earlier, was still struggling with our diet at the time. He moved to attack her." At this, Jasper stopped struggling against Alice and went slack. "In my haste to protect Bella, I managed to make her injuries much worse, and nearly everyone was ready to pounce on her. I left, because I thought that if I didn't, she would surely die. As much as I wanted to be with her, I sacrificed my own happiness in order to save her life." Edward, too, stopped struggling to reach me. Emmett, seeing that his brothers had given up the fight, let out a snort and moved to place the couch back into its proper position.

After a long pause, Edward finally broke the silence. "I suppose I might have done the same. It would have killed me in the process." He tried to help Bella up from the floor, but she did not seem ready to stand again yet. She pulled herself into a seated position with her knees tucked against her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs.

"It was my fault," Jasper whispered.

I shook my head. "No, Jasper, it could have been any one of them, given the right weak moment."

"And then we built you that little machine so you could find Bella all over again, and now here you are!" Alice spoke up, cutting the tension and bringing everyone's minds back to the present. "But Bella already has an Edward, so what happens next?" Edward glowered at me, fully prepared to fight me for her.

"I'll move on to a different universe and keep searching," I stated simply. My counterpart relaxed his stance. "But there are just a few things I need to tell you first."

"Is this the first universe you've visited?" Carlisle cut me off before I could talk about what I had done in order to get to their home. His mind was racing, full of questions.

"No, it is the second." I briefly filled them in on the tales of the second universe. Rosalie looked up with interest at the mention of Edward and Bella's daughter, but quickly shifted her attention back to her toenails. _Not like that could happen anymore now. She's already one of us._

"Incredible," Carlisle looked to be in his own personal heaven. "But Edward, you mentioned the wolves in both of your stories, yet we've seen no evidence here that they have returned."

"They have," I allowed.

"Are you certain?"

I recapped the story of my conversation with the wolves. "I regret that they have spent nearly four years suspecting the treaty to be broken," I finished. "They lacked evidence, of course, but it will take a great deal to convince them that James was the one who bit Bella."

"This certainly presents a complication, but one that we have plenty of time to figure out. I don't think we will be able to return to Forks for several decades." Carlisle said, glancing at Bella, who was resting her chin on her knees, looking forlorn.

"Which brings me to the final matter I needed to speak to you about before I could be on my way," I began. "You see, when I arrived here, of course I had no idea what to expect to be different in this place. I start my search in each universe at your old home in Forks. In this case, I found that it had been empty for some time. Since I had no way of knowing how events had been different, I had to check to see if Bella still lived in town before I could go in search of all of you. It was possible that Edward had never returned to her here after leaving, or that he had stayed away from her from the beginning, or any number of other options." Edward glared at me once more at the mention of leaving Bella, but he was genuinely curious about where my search had led.

"Of course her scent had been long gone from her father's house," Bella was deliberately looking away from everyone at the mention of her father, and I pressed on. "I thought perhaps she might have gone away to college, and so I went in through her window to see if she might have left anything behind that could point me to her whereabouts. Charlie had turned the room into an office." I grimaced at the memory of my own carelessness at failing to actually _look_ at the room before clambering in like an oaf. "Unfortunately, I was not as silent getting into the room as I should have been, and I woke him."

Bella gasped, and this time it was she who lunged at me. "What? Why did you do something so stupid? Poor Charlie, he's already been through enough, and it's all my fault!"

"That's what I wanted to speak to all of you about. I understand why you took the actions that you did. However, Charlie was perfectly content, in the last place I visited, to be included in Bella's life without specific information being revealed to him. He is unimaginably distraught over Bella's last words to him and the way that he was allowed to believe that she had died. I think it might be kinder to try to find a way for Bella to be a part of his life. He may not be pleased that he was lied to, but I think he will forgive the deception in exchange for the knowledge that his daughter is all right." I told the rest of the story of my encounter with Charlie, including my quick thinking about why the Cullens had coincidentally left town at the same time as Bella, and his newfound belief that the Cullens now lived in Topeka. Alice looked questioningly at me at the last part, but said nothing, either aloud or silently.

Bella looked up hopefully at Carlisle, who was pondering my words. "Well," he said thoughtfully, "perhaps if we began by sending Charlie a letter. We could come up with a story to explain why Bella's truck was left on the side of the road and why she never contacted him. They can correspond for several months, and if he doesn't seem to ask too many questions, perhaps we'll try a visit."

Bella leapt up and threw her arms around Carlisle's neck. "Oh, thank you Carlisle! Thank you so much! I think of you as my father now, too, but I still miss Charlie. I already know just what to say. I've spent _years_ thinking about what I would say to him if I ever ran into him again, just in case." In a flash, Bella was gone, and she returned moments later with a letter she had hastily scrawled at top speed.

_Dear Dad,_

_I know you must be furious with me. I owe you a world of explanations and apologies. I'll start with the apology. I am so very sorry for what I did to you almost four years ago. I have spent the last few months tormented by how you must be suffering. Why only the last few months, you ask? This is where my explanation begins._

_The night I left, I made it almost all the way to Phoenix before my truck broke down. That part you must already know. What happened next, you've been unfairly left to draw conclusions about, and I know what conclusions you must have come to. It breaks my heart, now that I know what you must think. Even though I don't know anything about cars, I thought that I would try to see if I could figure out what was wrong with the truck. I popped the hood and started looking, but of course, engines are pretty hot. I burned my hand a little, and it startled me so much that I jumped straight up and hit my head on the open hood, hard. The impact knocked the hood support rod loose, which caused the hood to come crashing down on my arm. I managed to get my arm out, but I tore my shirt. By this point, I still hadn't realized that I'd cut my head open when I hit it. All I could think about was that I had to change shirts. I'd been driving for so long, I figured I might as well change all of my clothes. _

_I was rummaging through my suitcase trying to find a change of clothes. It was dark, so I couldn't see very well and I ended up just grabbing several things. I headed pretty far from the road because I didn't want anyone to see me changing. I had grabbed three or four shirts and a couple of pairs of pants. As I changed, I realized I was bleeding. A lot. You know how badly head wounds bleed. Since the shirt I'd just been wearing was already ruined, I used it to apply pressure to my head, and I thought I'd better get back to the truck in case anyone came by, since I might need medical attention too. _

_I waited with the truck for a little while, but no one came by. It was the middle of the night. Eventually, the bleeding stopped, and I realized I'd left the rest of my clothes when I came back to the truck. I went to go get them, and not long after I was out of sight of the truck, I tripped and fell, hitting my head on a rock. Two head injuries in a row, and I was out cold._

_I don't know how long I was unconscious for, but it was light outside when I woke up, and I had no idea where I was. Or who I was. I had damaged my memory with the second head bump. I started wandering, and the direction I picked happened to be the opposite direction from where I'd left the truck I didn't know about._

_Eventually, I found a town. I really don't know where I was. I sort of drifted in and out of consciousness for the first few days. I probably should have gone to a hospital, but I just kept going, hoping that something would remind me of who I was or what I was trying to do. I was run out of town because I looked like a homeless person, so that's what I assumed I was. For the next few years, I went from town to town, sleeping wherever I could find a spot, stealing food when I could. I'm sorry to say, I did some things I'm not proud of to try to make money. Things that you wouldn't be proud of either. I'm so sorry, Dad. I didn't know what else to do. _

_One day, one of my "clients" mentioned that he was from Topeka. I didn't really know why, but Topeka meant something to me. I thought maybe it was home, so my new goal was to get there. By then, I had made enough money for a bag full of clothes, so I packed it all up and bought a bus ticket. I got to Topeka and nothing looked familiar. I decided maybe it was finally time to see a doctor, especially after everything I'd done in the past few years. I made a few hundred dollars more and then found a big hospital and went in._

_The minute I saw Dr. Cullen, I remembered everything, and I just started crying. It was so lucky that he was my doctor. If I hadn't run into him, I might never have figured things out. Carlisle wanted to call you immediately and tell you everything, but I begged him not to. Since he was technically my doctor and I was legally an adult, he was bound by regulations not to tell you anything if I asked him not to, so please don't blame Carlisle for not calling right away. He insisted that I come to stay with him and Esme though. All of the kids were away at school, so they had tons of rooms that no one was using. Carlisle didn't want to call Edward and tell him that I was there, for fear that Edward might come home right away and end up falling behind on his studies. Edward came home on a break from school last night, and when he found me there, he told me that he'd spoken to you. Once he told me how badly you were suffering, I knew I had to own up to everything, even the horrible things I've done._

_Dad, there's a little more to the story. I can't come to visit you right now, but maybe one day I'll be able to. You see, Carlisle ran some tests on me, and sure enough, my lifestyle and occupation had left me with a condition that would normally be incurable. You might have noticed that Carlisle and his family are a little… Different from everyone else. Carlisle gave me a special treatment that he himself has undergone, as well as everyone else in his family. It cures all diseases for good. There are some side effects, but they are manageable. Please believe, Carlisle would never give this treatment to anyone who had another choice. I would have died if Carlisle hadn't done it. It's not a treatment you will be able to find in any medical journal, and as far as I know, Carlisle is the only doctor who is able to use it. I really, really, really can't tell you any more than that. If you think you can be okay with that, I hope to be able to visit you soon._

_I'm doing okay. Still staying with Carlisle and Esme, and they consider me one of their kids now, too. I'm hoping to go to college myself soon. Please write back to me as soon as you can. I know I already apologized, Dad, but I owe you so much more than that. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me._

_Love always,  
Bella_

"I'll go to Topeka first thing in the morning and get a post office box so Charlie can write me back," Bella said excitedly while Carlisle read over the letter to make sure that all of the bases were covered. "Then I'll mail the letter so it'll have the right postmark on it. I'll run out there twice a week to check for a letter from Charlie."

"I think this wraps everything up nicely, Bella," Carlisle said, impressed. "You really have put a lot of time into thinking about this. Are you certain you really want to lead Charlie to believe that you led such a… Questionable life?"

Bella scowled. "I don't _want_ to. But it's the only way. Otherwise I would have had you call him immediately once I got my memory back. Plus, I had to think of a reason why my life was in danger and you had to use the 'treatment' on me. Besides, Charlie thinks I was murdered. I think he'd prefer to believe that I did those things, if it means I'm alive." she said reasonably.

Carlisle nodded. "All right. You need to add a P.S. asking him not to speak to anyone else about this. Otherwise, I think this sounds like a good explanation." Bella quickly added the requested post script and addressed an envelope.

"Incidentally, where exactly is it that you're living? It would help me tremendously if I knew where to look for you the next time I encounter an empty house in Forks. I don't really want to have to involve Charlie, the wolves, or Tanya's family again if I don't have to." I directed my question to Carlisle.

"We considered moving to Vancouver, but it really hadn't been too long ago that we were there, so we ended up about a hundred miles outside of Cleveland," Carlisle filled me in. He recited the address to me. "There are nearly as many cloudy days here as there were in Forks. This would be a good place to begin looking for us if you find the house in Forks empty again."

"Thank you for your help. I can see that things have worked out well for Bella, so I'll be on my way now."

"Not so fast, mister. You're changing into those clothes before you go anywhere. What would the next Alice think if she thought I let you leave here looking like _that?_" I chuckled scooped up the clothing Alice had brought me, heading into the next room to change.

"A sport jacket, Alice? Really?" I called out while dressing, laughing.

"You never know when the right accessories might come in handy," she responded readily. She immediately began blocking her thoughts, and I just shook my head and finished putting on my new attire.

"Do I pass inspection?" I asked her, returning to the room.

"Hmm, well, you _might_ do something about that hair, but I suppose you'll do," she said passively.

"Good enough. Thank you all again," I said, about to excuse myself.

_I know I've been rather… Gruff with you. _ Edward spoke to me silently. _ I'm sorry. I thought you were a threat to my happiness with Bella, and I couldn't allow that. I see now that you've suffered a great deal. Bella and I have a lot to discuss, but you've also given her a chance to reconnect with her father, and so I thank you. I know that will make her very happy. I hope you find what you're looking for._

_ I hope so too. Please take good care of Bella._

_ Always, _he told me.

Even though it was quite a distance to traverse, I decided that I should return to the clearing in Forks. It wouldn't take too long, really, at the speed I traveled. In a few short hours, I would once again be on my way to try to locate my Bella. I would not give up hope. She was out there, somewhere, and I would find her.


	12. The Monster

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Twelve – The Monster

It didn't take too long for me to reach the clearing once again, and I managed to do so without drawing the attention of the wolves nearby. I smiled to myself, looking in the direction of Chief Swan's house, though I could not see it from where I stood. He would be hearing from his daughter soon, and things were moving toward a happy ending for him. I was genuinely glad to have played a part in that. It seemed that I had done some good here, even if I had disrupted things as well. I also considered Laurent's apology. It had seemed almost as if he were apologizing to _me_ for what he'd done. I had no idea what had happened to Laurent in my own timeline. I felt certain that he had returned to Irina, but I wondered vaguely whether he felt any remorse for killing her cousin's mate. I wondered whether he had ever been able to truly embrace our lifestyle. I had never cared enough to inquire as to his whereabouts when I'd had the opportunity, too engrossed was I in my own anguish. I felt a twinge of guilt for this self-centered behavior, but there was nothing that could be done now. I would never see that Laurent again.

As I began to enter the sequence that would take me to the next place, I shifted my wonder and curiosity to what I would find next. I couldn't help noting that Bella had been a vampire in both of the places I had so far visited. Was this truly the way it would be? Had Alice been right after all, so long ago, that there were only two possibilities: Bella dead, or Bella becoming one of us? It was horrible to consider that her life had been snatched away from her from the moment her path had first crossed mine. Thus far though, everything I had seen had done nothing but confirm this theory. The only way that Bella was able to continue to exist after meeting me was as one of my kind. It did bring me some comfort to see that neither of my other selves had changed her when there had been another option. In Universe Two, there had been no choice. The dangers of carrying a half-vampire had ravaged Bella's body beyond the possibility of repair through normal human means. In Universe Three, there had been another option, but Edward had been left completely unaware of it. It was interesting to note that Carlisle had made the decision and had chosen to bear the burden himself for Bella's change, but it made sense. He had been directly responsible for changing every member of my family, except for Alice and Jasper, who had arrived on their own, already changed. It seemed that he did not want any other member of my family to live with that responsibility.

My thoughts abruptly stopped as the now-familiar agony overtook me. I knew that it would be over soon, but that did little to ease the suffering that came with shifting. As each part of my body threatened to wrench itself away, so too did my heart wrench itself away from Bella. There was no guarantee that I would ever found what I sought, and it was beginning to seem less and less likely. If the only options truly were for her to become one of us or for her to die, how was it possible that I would ever find a Bella that I could keep? I had to press on, because there was nothing else that I could do. There was nothing else for me in life, and if I couldn't find her after a few decades of searching, then I would resume my original plan and turn myself in to the Volturi, taking care to destroy the device first. It was good, I realized, that I had no idea how it actually worked. Aro would gain nothing from reading my thoughts, and he would be more likely to lend his assistance in granting my request because I did not belong in his universe.

After a small eternity, the pain began to subside, and I opened eyes that I could not consciously recall having shut. The clearing never changed from one place to the next, and this time was no exception. It was time to begin my quest anew. I took a quick mental inventory of when I had last hunted and what I was wearing, realizing that it would be good to get into this habit each time. I had hunted three times in the past week, once before I had begun this journey, once more before meeting the wolves in Universe Two, and again just before my near-encounter with my Denali cousins. Normally, I only needed to hunt every two weeks, so I would not need to hunt again for some time. Alice had provided me with new clothing only hours before. It was unfortunate that I hadn't thought to take any money with me before I set off, since it meant that I would need to rely solely upon each universe's Alice to keep providing me with clothing. What was I going to do if I actually found a Bella that I could keep, anyway? The Cullens of each universe had been amicable toward me, and so I supposed I would stay with them. Hopefully, it would not cause Alice any headaches once I found the correct point, the one where Edward Cullen no longer existed and I could slip easily enough into his place.

Once again, it was time to begin my investigation by seeking my family's home. I realized for the first time that I was not even certain what time of year it was. I had ceased counting the days that passed the moment Alice and Carlisle had arrived three years ago to tell me of Bella's passing. I had allowed no light into my apartment, since the passing of one day into the next had no longer held meaning for me. Each day was as pointless as the last, for each day would continue to be a day without her, and so on until my senseless existence could end. I had known that three years had passed only from checking the date on my phone when my family had called. Strange that I hadn't bothered to check it when Carlisle had called this last time. I quickly glanced around and saw that the fauna was in full bloom. I tried to gauge the temperature, although it was difficult to do so effectively since I hadn't experienced the chill of cold weather since 1918. I guessed that it was early summer. This was of some significance, since it meant a greater likelihood that if I did happen upon a place where Bella was away at college, she would probably be home visiting her father for a few months. I grunted to myself, realizing how unlikely that prospect was. Certainly, a vampire Bella would be able to attend college one day, but I knew that she would want to take several years to grow accustomed to her new life before taking on her first trip to a university. Bella away at college now would mean finding a Bella who was still human, and that no longer seemed even slightly plausible. One way or another, her life, so long as it was intertwined with mine, would be stolen away. I was nothing more than a petty thief, stealing what I wanted to supplement my own pathetic existence. I tried to shake off my self-pity as I closed the distance to the Cullen home in Forks. If the family still lived here, Jasper would not appreciate being assaulted by this emotion.

I was still several hundred yards away when I first caught the scent. It buried itself into each and every one of my pores, and the venom began to pool hungrily in my mouth. I was propelled forward, unable to resist this, the sweetest aroma I had ever known.

I had been wrong. She _was_ still human.

I closed in on the house, but I could tell immediately that she was not inside. She had been here recently; days ago perhaps, but she was not here now. If she had been a vampire in this place, I would have gone inside anyway and introduced myself to the Cullens, doing some investigation before reaching her. But three years separated from her scent had lowered the resistance I had spent months building. I was no longer in control of myself. I had ceased to be a man on a mission to find his long lost love.

I was a hunter, and she was my prey.

I followed the scent, no longer remembering exactly what it was that I was tracking. My instincts took over as I raced faster and faster, tracking the delicious blood that would soon be mine. The monster took over, guiding me, comforting me with the promise of the warm liquid that would quench the unending burn in my throat. I couldn't remember why I had denied myself human blood for so long. There was no reason to resist. Nothing could ever be as satisfying as the flavor that I could remember.

Why did I remember this flavor? I slowed my pace slightly, and it came rushing back to me. I had tasted this blood once. How was that possible? The monster was trying to quash these memories, but I struggled to recall. Mirrors. I remembered mirrors. There was another vampire. I had been fighting him for this prey. He had gotten to it first, but it hadn't called to him as it had done to me. I had won, I was tasting her blood. But wait, there was something else. Venom. So he had won, hadn't he? He'd gotten to her first. Had I killed him to get to this prey? Nothing was making sense as long as I continued to smell the unbelievably enticing scent. It was impossible to believe that anything could smell so glorious. Still, something was wrong. How did the human still live if she had been bitten by not one, but two vampires? How could I be smelling her blood once again? And why did I recall so clearly that she was female?

My feet continued to pull me forward. I had no choice over my path. The decision had been made for me the moment I had caught the scent. I was an animal stalking its meal. The best meal of its life. Nothing else made any difference. A voice nagged at me, imploring me to remember, but I couldn't listen to it. Why should it matter that I had tasted this blood once before? I had a chance to taste it once again, and I knew that it would be the greatest experience I'd ever known.

I closed in on the house where I knew my prey was waiting. I listened with my additional gift and could detect no one inside. This made no sense. I could tell she was in there, so powerful was her scent, but I could hear no thoughts inside. No matter. I would obey my hunting instincts. Insanely, I felt the urge to climb in through the window upstairs, but why? The door would be the easier entrance. I tried the knob. It wasn't even locked. I let myself in quietly and found myself surrendering fully to the sensation of her scent, the sound of her heartbeat. This would be over in moments. It would almost be a shame to kill this human. I would miss this fragrance once I could never detect it again.

She was upstairs. I began to move more slowly, cautiously, not wanting to forewarn my prey of my presence. As I approached the stairs, I saw something move and I instantly crouched behind the couch to avoid detection. She came down the stairs. From my vantage point, I could see only her legs come into view, and I considered what I would do with her body once I had finished my meal. I could tell that she did not live here alone. Another human lived here too, but that one was not here now, away at work or to perform some other mundane human task. The legs paused apprehensively. It was maddening that I could not see the thoughts of this person. She couldn't know that I was here, but I didn't know which way she would turn next. She hesitated, then turned and moved back up the stairs. This was perfect. She would be trapped upstairs. I would wait a moment, then follow her. Although she would not be able to fight me off anyway, I would prefer not to spill any of her blood in a struggle. That precious blood. I licked my lips in anticipation.

After I was sure she had gone upstairs, I followed slowly, quietly, overcome by the thrill of the hunt. The expectation was divine, and the urgency I felt heightened all of my senses. All except for my gift. I still heard nothing from her mind. I held my breath for a moment, unwilling to stop inhaling the bouquet emanating from her body, but knowing that I must not allow her to hear anything before I sprung. I could hear her rummaging through a drawer, looking for something. I dared to peek into the room for a view of what she was doing.

In that instant, as I held my breath and no longer felt the draw of her blood, I saw Bella, my human Bella, just as I remembered her. I was shocked and horrified with myself. I had nearly killed her. I had been so close, mere feet from pouncing on her and draining the life from her veins. I couldn't move. Despair washed over me once more, worse than I'd ever remembered it. She wouldn't have even fought me off, for she would have believed me to be her own Edward, the love of her life. She would have been pleased to see me. Pleased, as I'd ended her life.

I was utterly repulsed and disgusted. Carlisle and my family had sent me on a mission to find her again, and this was how I repaid their kindness? By finding her and _killing_ her? Shame like I had never known overtook me, chasing away every monstrous instinct I'd had moments before. She was here. She was alive, no thanks to me. I didn't dare take another breath for fear that the monster would return once more. I had spent so many months forcing myself to be able to be around her, and it had all come undone in the time I had been away from her. I was back at square one. The monster was fighting with the man.

She seemed to have found what she was looking for and came back toward the door. I wanted to run away to hide my shame, but I was frozen in place. She stepped out of the room and screamed upon seeing me. A fitting reaction. The one she should have always had upon seeing me. I looked into her deep brown eyes and saw a mixture of shock and genuine fear, but I did not detect any of the love that Bella had felt for me once.

"Edward?" she said cautiously.

_Damn,_ I thought, for I had no air in my lungs. I hazarded a short breath and had to hold myself firmly against the wall to keep from lunging at her. I had expected this now, even if I hadn't expected it a few minutes ago. "Hello Bella," I replied, trying to make my voice sound casual.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. "Is everything all right? Where are Emmett and Rosalie?" She tried to keep her voice calm, but the panic was clearly visible in her eyes.

This was a strange string of questions. The first would have been reasonable enough for a normal human, but I had spent, presumably, the past three years showing up unannounced at her house, watching her as she slept, staying with her through the night. She must surely have grown accustomed to my presence by now. The second question, I supposed, would make sense as well, if she truly had not been expecting me. The third, however, was just bizarre. Why would she care so much about the whereabouts of my brother and sister? Why _that_ brother and sister? She and Rosalie had never precisely gotten along. It wouldn't have seemed quite as odd if she had asked about Alice, whom she considered to be a dear friend. But Rosalie? And Emmett? She and Emmett had always liked one another well enough, but I doubted they would have ever spoken two words to each other if not for me.

I struggled to think of an explanation for her questions, and I realized that her own Edward must have made plans with Emmett and Rosalie today. Perhaps the three of them were out hunting together. Edward would have told her where he planned to be, and with whom. Yes, this would make her questions make much more sense. She wasn't expecting me today, and my sudden appearance made her worry that something had happened, that perhaps Alice had had a vision and I'd come back to rescue her from another band of rogue vampires or some other, more human danger. She wondered where Emmett and Rosalie were because I was supposed to be hunting with them, and their absence meant that we had gone in separate directions. I relaxed slightly as I came to the conclusion that her questions weren't nonsensical, I just didn't have the proper context. She was staring expectantly at me, waiting for answers to her questions. Once again, I noted the absence of love in her eyes, and it distressed me. She had been to my family's house recently, hadn't she? I was sure I had detected traces of her scent there. What would she be doing there if she wasn't in love with her own Edward, who she reasonably assumed me to be?

I took another short breath to answer her question, and the fire raged within me again. I paused once more to consider my answer and to get the monster under control when I suddenly felt a sharp shock to my side. It reminded me slightly of what Kate, my Denali cousin, was capable of doing with her skin, but on a much lower scale. Kate's shocks were debilitating and could bring a vampire to its knees. This was a dull annoyance, not unlike the sensation of pricking my finger had been when I was human, but it was a surprise nonetheless.

Bella was holding a Taser in her hand. "Get away from me, Edward!" She raised her voice. "I know this doesn't make you crumple to the ground, but Emmett told me it would at least get your attention. Stay away!"

I stared at her, not comprehending. My brother had given her advice on how to get my attention, to keep me away? She _wanted_ to keep me away? Perhaps this Bella had some survival instincts after all. Perhaps she had grown weary of Edward, or had decided that she preferred a human life. She must have known that Edward would never leave her willingly, and so had sought the advice of my brother at how to keep me at bay. I was devastated. What had he done to make her react in this way? I had always known that her love was too good to be true, but true it had been. Something had changed. There wasn't even a hint of love in her eyes or in her voice. Only fear was held there.

"I—I'm sorry," I stammered.

"Just go!" she yelled, brandishing the Taser at me.

I nodded my head, unable to say anything further. If Bella didn't want me, I wouldn't force her to endure my presence. Suddenly I found myself able to move again, and I dashed down the stairs and back out the front door, not pausing to hear her sigh of relief or listen to who she called when she picked up her phone. I needed to know what had happened, but it wouldn't do to ask her these questions. First, I would sound like a lunatic, asking her for answers that I should have known if I were who I appeared to be. Second, she was plainly terrified of me. My answers would need to come from the only other person who would have them: My counterpart in this universe. I ran as swiftly as I could back to the Cullen house to confront Edward about whatever fiendish act he had subjected Bella to. I was furious with him for making her so fearful. Whatever he had done, it must have been monstrous to chase away every ounce of love she'd once held for him. This time, her lingering scent, delicious as it was, had no effect on me as I approached the house. I was there with a purpose. I needed answers, and I would not leave until I had gotten them.


	13. Rejection

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Thirteen – Rejection

I paused outside the house to listen to the thoughts of my family. I had assumed to find Edward in some degree of turmoil after whatever had taken place with Bella, but he seemed perfectly content. I knew that he would detect my thoughts soon, but I hazarded a moment to check over the rest of the scene in the house.

Emmett was on the phone, trying to be calming. "I understand that you're upset, I do, but I'm telling you, that's not possible." He paused, listening to the voice on the other end. "Because he's been right here the whole time!" _Girl is paranoid. Though I guess I would be too, if I were her. _"Listen, I know it seemed real, but babe, you must've fallen asleep or something. It was just a dream. Well what other explanation is there? He can't be in two places at once, and I'm looking right at him!"

My counterpart cleared his throat. "Sorry to interrupt, Emmett, but I think we have a more important matter to attend to outside. One that might actually help to explain your current dilemma, too."

Emmett groaned. _Why do you always have to be so cryptic? Is it so hard to just say what you mean? _I snorted at precisely the same time that Edward did. Emmett was speaking into the phone again. "I'm sorry, I have to go, something came up. No, I don't think it's anything to worry about. OK, listen, why don't you go visit Jacob for awhile?" He paused and I checked his thoughts to see what the voice on the other end, who I was reasonably certain must have been Bella, was saying. It was her, and she was protesting that she wanted Emmett to come right away because she was terrified. "I know you are, and that's why I'm saying you should visit Jake. He won't let anything happen to you. Listen, babe, I really have to go. I'll see you tonight, OK? Tell Jake I said hi." He chuckled. "Yeah, I'm sure he'll love it. That's why I want you to tell him!" I could hear the grin in his voice as he hung up the phone. _I love messing with that mutt._

I neither understood, nor appreciated the casual way Emmett spoke to Bella. His repeated use of the term "babe" was not really a huge shock; I had heard him speak to women in that way any number of times when he was trying to get his way. He usually reserved it for saleswomen when he was trying to purchase a gift for Rosalie that they were unwilling to sell because it was the last item in stock and was needed for display purposes, or when he was trying to make travel reservations and wanted an earlier flight than what was being offered. Considering how we looked to humans, it typically had the desired effect. Human women seemed to melt, even the ones who would normally object to being called "babe." His personality didn't hurt matters, of course. Emmett was extremely likeable, and it was impossible to presume that he was deliberately trying to offend someone who had done him no wrong. If anything, he probably seemed like a big, harmless, loveable teddy bear. Edward, hearing my thoughts from inside, chuckled quietly. _He's a bear, all right,_ he acknowledged.

I approached the door and knocked softly, although the family had already been alerted to my presence. I didn't wait for Carlisle to open the door, electing instead to come in. I suffered through the gasps and the shock of seeing a second Edward once again, and I deflected Alice's confusion at not having seen me coming by answering before she even had a chance to ask the question. I was amazed at how rapidly this scene was becoming old hat. I wondered when Alice would ask why I was traveling without Bella.

I paused for a moment to take in the scene, doing my best to block my thoughts from Edward. Rosalie, seated next to my counterpart at the piano, was on the phone with Carlisle telling him that he really needed to cut his shift short and come home due to a recent development. Esme was confused, but welcoming, as I expected she would be. Alice and Jasper had been watching a movie together when I arrived, and Emmett had a video game paused, apparently having been playing it up until Bella called him, frantic at having seen a man who appeared to be her ex boyfriend. I didn't understand why she was in contact with Emmett at all. I would have understood if she had spoken to Alice, since the two of them had become close friends. Perhaps Bella and Emmett had become friends as well at some point over the past few years. It seemed that she had managed to become friends with Jacob Black, and I couldn't help snarling quietly at the fact that my brother had sent her right into his waiting arms.

And Edward! What was wrong with him? Sitting there so calmly, waiting for Rosalie to get off the phone with Carlisle so they could continue with the duet they'd been composing together. So calm while his love was terrified out of her mind _and_ being sent to his mortal enemies for protection. Had he lost his mind? No wonder Bella didn't want him anymore, if this was the way he acted toward her. He was an emotionless oaf, uncaring about what fate befell the woman he loved, for he must love her, even if she did not return the feeling.

Rosalie snapped the phone shut and looked up at me with a smile. "Carlisle is on his way. You might as well wait until he gets here for the full explanations. We can wait so you don't have to go through it twice."

I blinked. Still my sister sat there, smiling pleasantly at me from behind the piano. Had I somehow managed to re-acquire the ability to sleep? I must be dreaming. I shut my eyes and counted slowly to ten, feeling utterly ridiculous. When I opened them again, Rosalie was no longer looking at me, but she still seemed perfectly pleasant as she and Edward discussed how to continue their composition. The two of them seemed completely engrossed in the music they were writing. I truly didn't understand this scene. Rosalie had always been able to play the piano, but she had never had much of an interest in composing, nor in collaborating with me. I had tried asking her opinion numerous times about pieces that I had tried to write, and she had always given me flippant responses before continuing with whatever activity had absorbed her mind. And the way she and Edward looked at one another… Something was off.

Unlike the previous universes I had visited, my counterpart seemed to have absolutely no interest in what I was doing here or what I was thinking. Emmett was the one who stared me down. _I know you were there, _he told me silently. _I don't know _why_ you were there, but I know that you were. She's gonna smell like a dog for the next three days now, so you'd better have a damn good explanation for scaring her so much that I had to send her out to La Push. I'll wait to hear it, like my sister said, but it had better be good._

Sister?

_That's generally how we think of each other here, _Edward told me haughtily. _I don't know how different things are where you're from, but they must not be terribly far off, given the color of your eyes. _I had been so shocked by Emmett referring to Rosalie as his sister that I had done a poor job of blocking my thoughts. I resumed trying to do so as I waited impatiently for Carlisle to arrive. I knew that I would need to spend some time providing my family with explanations, but I was desperately eager to learn what the differences were between my own universe and this one.

Emmett continued to stalk my movements throughout the house, and so I stayed relatively still. It was less irritating to have him simply sit near me, glaring and offering the occasional heated thought, than it was to have him follow me around.

I turned my attention back to my counterpart and sister at the piano. They had completed another section of the complex piece they were writing, but Rosalie didn't seem happy with the way it had turned out. She was furrowing her brow, trying to explain how it had sounded different in her head. Finally, she closed her eyes and concentrated on how it had sounded, and Edward masterfully picked out the notes she envisioned. She let out a delighted squeal and threw her arms around his neck.

"It's perfect!" she cried.

"I'm glad you like it, love." Edward smiled before leaning in to kiss her passionately.

Well, now that was unexpected.

I did my best to avoid recoiling in horror, and I was pleased with myself for not giving off any outward signs of revulsion. Still, my stomach churned enough that Jasper looked up questioningly from his movie. My counterpart managed not to smirk at me, but he started to vividly imagine a giant middle finger pointed in my direction. _Charming,_ I thought. In response, the middle finger began to waggle at me. It sparkled and shimmered in the sunlight, a vampire's middle finger.

The two of them broke their kiss, and Rosalie suddenly remembered my presence. She looked back at me and smiled apologetically. "Sorry," she said out loud. _Maybe we should tone it down a little, for our guest?_ Her thoughts were intended for my counterpart, but I heard them as well.

_I don't really care if it bothers you, but what my Rose wants…_ "As you wish, love," he told her simply.

I was growing increasingly uncomfortable with this setting and I anxiously wondered how soon Carlisle would be here. I tried to imagine what twist of fate could have propelled Edward and Rosalie together. I mentally went over all of the time we had spent together, no longer caring if my counterpart could hear. If he didn't care whether I was bothered, I might as well not try to spare him. Rosalie had always been rather pigheaded and self-absorbed, but I had loved her all the same, as a sister. Carlisle's intentions when he changed her had been for us to be much more than that to one another, but it simply hadn't been possible. I had never seen her in that light, and she hadn't particularly cared for me either. She had been offended that I hadn't wanted her, which had driven a lasting wedge between the two of us. Still, even if I had actually found her appealing, I didn't think she would have been receptive to the idea.

_You don't know _anything! _Rose is the very best thing that ever happened to me,_ Edward chastised me.

I ignored him and continued my thought process. I had objected to her being changed. She was far too recognizable. Nonetheless, the girl had suffered terribly on the last day of her human life, and so I had allowed her plenty of space as she tracked down and murdered all of the humans who had brutalized her in the very worst possible way and left her for dead. I had always been impressed that she had pulled it off without giving in to the temptation to drink their blood, newborn that she was, but it had done nothing to change my overall opinion of her. Revenge had done nothing to help her move past her problems, but it had prevented the same men from repeating their actions with a different woman, so I supposed it had served a purpose of sorts. I could remember a time when I, too, had justified the murder of humans in the name of protecting others, I thought darkly.

Edward gazed in my direction, seeming to see through me, but he was focused on my recollections. I couldn't pick up anything clear from his thoughts, but it seemed that he remembered these early days with Rosalie differently than I did. I hoped he planned to share the differences with me soon.

I resumed my silent ponderings. What puzzled me most of all was that Emmett was here. I recalled all too clearly the day that Rosalie had brought him to Carlisle, desperately pleading with him to change this man she'd found near death. Well, "pleading" was perhaps a misnomer; she had essentially demanded that Carlisle change Emmett for her. She'd fallen in love with him the moment she'd lain eyes on him, and they had been inseparable ever since. But this Rosalie, incredibly, inexplicably, already had a partner. What would have possessed Carlisle to change Emmett?

Edward scoffed loudly, causing everyone in the room to look in his direction. He offered no explanations, which was maddening. I immediately understood what Emmett had meant moments ago when he'd asked why Edward always had to be so cryptic, and I vowed mentally to try to be more forthcoming in the future. It truly was exasperating.

Carlisle burst through the door, already speaking before he'd even looked around the room. "All right, Rosalie, I got here as quickly as I could. Fortunately, it was a slow day, no major emergencies, just some broken bones and an ear infection. What's going…" He glanced in my direction, then back to Rosalie, who was seated next to – I had trouble with this thought – _her _Edward. "…on," he finished. The question was no longer directed at Rosalie, but at me.

"Hello Carlisle," I said pleasantly.

"Hello… Edward?"

"Yes," I answered quietly. By now, I had everyone's attention. Carlisle decided we should move the discussion to the dining room table where most of the family's important matters were discussed, and I gladly obliged.

The family began to take their seats around the table. Carlisle gestured that I should sit at the head of the table. He seated himself at my right. Rosalie immediately moved to my left, to the obvious dismay of my counterpart, who seated himself at her other side. Esme grabbed Emmett's arm and moved silently to Carlisle's right, pulling Emmett to sit down at her other side. Alice and Jasper took the remaining seats. Emmett had not taken his eyes from me since the moment I'd walked in the door. It was almost comical; even graceful as he was with his vampire senses, I doubted that he would have been able to find his way to his seat without knocking something over if Esme hadn't been steering him.

I suddenly found myself unsure as to where to begin. This place was so different. Trying to explain what I was doing here may prove to be a completely pointless endeavor. I allowed a glance in Rosalie's direction, and for the first time that I could recall, I found myself unwilling to say anything that may hurt her feelings. She seemed… _fragile._

Her thoughts were focused primarily on hoping that I was all right, then thinking that I looked sad and lonely, and finally wondering if I thought she was pretty. _I wonder if I can manage to keep them both!_ She forgot herself for a moment and began to fantasize of two Edwards at her beck and call, one running errands for her while another kept her company. She smiled broadly at the idea before remembering that we could both hear her. She ducked her head, embarrassed. So there _was_ a little of the Rosalie I knew in there, I thought to myself, amused.

My counterpart's thoughts betrayed that he was not amused in the slightest by her fantasies, however. _If Rosalie wishes it, I won't deny her anything, but I've no desire to share her,_ he told me.

_Just let me tell my story,_ I replied. _You'll see you have nothing to worry about. Although, it might be a little hard for her to take._

Edward nodded and moved his chair closer to Rosalie's, putting his arm around her and pulling her close. She gladly nuzzled up against him, but reached her right hand to grasp mine, encouraging me to begin speaking. I couldn't help instinctively flinching from her touch, and I could see that she was upset by my reaction. I felt instantly dreadful for hurting her feelings, and I decided that it would be best to get this over with.

I took a deep breath and began, as I had in Universe Three, by explaining the mechanics of how I had come to be here. Carlisle listened thoughtfully to my description of how the device had been built. I explained how the entire family had designed it for me, proceeding with caution as I carefully mentioned that all six of the Cullens other than myself had been involved in its creation. Rosalie's brow began to furrow as she tried to understand why she would willingly work on something intended to send me away. I had known that the explanation would be more difficult this time, but it pained me to see my sister slowly succumbing to the pain my words were bringing. I would surely be breaking her heart momentarily. I looked to my counterpart, pleading with him silently to reassure her. I might not understand their relationship, but I had no desire to damage it. Quite the opposite, I was very pleased that Edward had found happiness so much sooner here than I had managed to do myself.

As I should have expected, it was Alice who spoke up. "So why are you traveling without Rosalie?"

In spite of myself, I had to work to stifle a laugh. Hadn't it been only hours ago that I had wondered whether Alice would always be the one to ask why I was traveling without Bella? I wasn't sure whether she had proved me wrong, or proved me right.

_Bella?_ Edward questioned me silently. _I can barely stand to be around her at all. Why in God's name would I want to _travel_ with her?_

Rosalie was staring at me, her eyes boring through me, trying to get to my very soul. I could see in her thoughts that by now, she had noticed that my eyes held a different kind of love for her than she was accustomed to seeing in them. She could see that I cared for her very much, but it was the same look she was used to her own Edward giving to his siblings, not to her. It confused and upset her. She hoped silently that I was about to provide an answer.

"Things in my timeline turned out a bit… Differently than they did here," I began slowly.

"Different how?" Emmett snarled. "Different like, you killed Bella and now you're off looking for dessert? No other meal would do after you had a taste?"

I gaped at Emmett, aghast. How could he even suggest such a thing? Then I remembered with regret how close I had come to killing her. Had it really been only an hour ago?

"Emmett! How could you accuse your brother of such a thing?" Esme scolded him. But she paused to look at my eyes and check their color before continuing. "Of course he didn't kill Bella," she finished, satisfied that my diet had consisted of animals for at least the last several months.

"Then _why_ did he go barging into her house? That's the only thing I want to know. We've been sitting here, listening to him blabbering on about some science fiction mumbo jumbo that I don't even care about. I just want to know why he scared Bella out of her mind, so badly that I had to _tell_ her to go visit Jacob Black. You know he's going to try to put the moves on her. That kid doesn't give up. At least she feels safe there. Hell, she probably _is_ safer there than she is around here right now. Two of them. As if one wasn't enough of a danger to her life without a tag team." Emmett growled menacingly at me, then at my counterpart, who rolled his eyes in response.

I still didn't understand why Emmett was so protective of Bella, but I was silently grateful that at least _someone_ was. I truly couldn't understand how my counterpart had managed to refrain from killing her. It had only been my intense, burning love for her, in the end, that had been able to conquer my desire to drink her blood. I couldn't imagine any other way I would have been able to endure sitting beside her in Biology class for an entire year without massacring the entire school just to get to her.

My thoughts had revealed too much, too soon. Edward's jaw had dropped, and he had quickly looked away from me, from Rosalie, and from Emmett. He tried to appear suddenly fascinated by the texture of the dining room table. His reaction had not gone unnoticed by the family. Six pairs of eyes were rapidly darting between two Edwards. Once again, I became aware of how agitated they must be at the snippets of information they were getting from the Cryptic Twins. I had no choice but to press on. I glanced at Rosalie, trying not to meet her eyes, and continued.

"Different, because Rosalie was my sister, just as Alice is."

Edward tried to pull Rosalie to him again, but she shirked away from his comforting gesture. She looked wildly to each of us, feeling trapped by her decision to sit directly between the two of us. Her thoughts were raging, remembering her human life and how men had not really loved her, but had merely been drawn to her beauty. She thought of how her life had ended at the hands of one of those men and fell into a panic. _I knew he couldn't love me, _she thought. _I knew it, I knew he just thought I was good-looking. He's perpetually 17 years old, of course he has hormones and I must have seemed like an excellent target. There I was, the only female vampire close to his own age, and the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. How could I have expected anything different from him?_

"Rosalie, please calm down," I begged her. "Edward's feelings toward you are very real. As I said, things were different."

"Rose," he whispered to her. "Rose, love, how many times have I proven my feelings for you? He can't help it if he's a fool," he told her softly. She hesitated, but allowed him to pull her close to him once again. _I'll hear what else he has to say before I make up my mind,_ she cautioned.

I would need to handle this as delicately as possible. I wasn't sure how I could address the subject of my rejecting Rosalie and ultimately falling in love with Bella. My own Rosalie had always been offended by the rejection and envious of my eventual choice, even though she harbored no romantic feelings toward me herself. This Rosalie's reaction would be much, much worse. I knew something of how women reacted when they were rejected by men they had interest in. Tanya, for one, had always found me appealing and had always been dejected when I resisted her advances. Jessica Stanley, though a human girl whose interest had been only a flicker in comparison, had been similarly saddened. And of course there had been Bella herself, who had sunk into a depression when I'd left her, from which she had never recovered in my own timeline. Would Rosalie recover? I tried to imagine my proud, headstrong sister with the same vacant expression that I'd seen Bella wearing in Jacob Black's memories in Universe Two and shuddered at the thought. I wished that there was some way I could conceal the truth from her, but I could think of none.

I opened my mouth to continue with my explanation, but Edward interrupted me.

"I had the opportunity to see into Edward's recollections of the days following Rosalie's transformation," he interjected. "They were somewhat different from what I remember. May I?"

"Of course," I said, relieved to have, if nothing else, an opportunity to collect my thoughts and try to think of a way to soften the blow. I reached instinctively for my sister's hand to comfort her, but she refused to meet my eyes. _I'll not have your pity,_ she informed me.

I sat in quiet contemplation as Edward began the tale of how his family had come to be like this. I had many questions still, and I hoped that the answers would reveal themselves soon.


	14. StarCrossed Lovers

**Thank you so much for the recent reviews! I really, truly am both honored and humbled that people are not just reading, but enjoying this story and taking time out of their own day to give me feedback. You are all far too kind!**

**I know some of you may not be thrilled with the way this universe is unfolding. All I can say is, it's a part of the story that I felt **_**had**_** to be told, and if you really hate it… Well, it'll probably go away soon, right? =)**

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Fourteen – Star-Crossed Lovers

"Based on the limited information I pulled from you earlier, I'm under the impression that we have a shared history of our first few decades. It seems that our human life and the early years following our transformation were identical." I nodded in confirmation. I could not be certain, of course, but I was beginning to figure out how to pinpoint the occurrences that caused the differences between universes. This universe seemed to branch off sometime shortly after Rosalie had been changed. Edward smiled, reading my thoughts assessing the situation.

"I had arrived at the same conclusion," he continued. "We believe," he added aloud for the benefit of the majority of those at the table who could not read minds, "that something took place during or shortly after Rosalie's transformation which caused a difference between the universe Edward comes from, and this one." Carlisle leaned forward, enthralled with the possibilities of variables that could create different universes, silently encouraging Edward to continue.

"I'm afraid this may be a bit boring for all of you," he went on, needing no encouragement from Carlisle but smiling appreciatively nevertheless, "since you are all so familiar with the story of our family. However, our guest seems to be rather taken aback by the differences he's encountered here, and I believe it may be easiest if we tell him our story and then allow him to point out the differences in his own experiences." This sounded reasonable enough to me.

Edward pressed on. "The year, as you know, was 1933. I had been a vampire for 15 years, nearly half my life by that point. Carlisle and Esme had each other, and I was still a sullen teenager, even though it had been 32 years since my birth. I had rebelled against Carlisle, spending some time drinking human blood, but had found it, like all my other endeavors, largely unsatisfying." I grimaced, remembering this time all too well. "So it was that I returned, and I was given a warm welcoming, far more than I deserved for my insolence." He ignored Esme's violent headshakes and continued.

"Still, Carlisle and Esme had begun to grow concerned that I was lonely. They had found so much comfort in one another, and although they loved me as a son, they felt that I needed a mate as well. Carlisle came upon Rosalie, barely breathing following her brutal attack." Edward paused at this point, his fury at the men who had harmed his love still not fully contained, even after all these years. He composed himself and began to speak once more. "He acted largely on impulse, seeing her physical beauty and thinking that perhaps I may favor her. I won't deny that he also felt a measure of pity for this proud young woman, her dignity stripped away from her in her final moments of life." His voice caught slightly, and I cautioned a glance at Rosalie. She was looking far away, as if she could see through the wall to the woods outside.

"He knew that he wouldn't be able to leave her like that. 'It was too much waste,' he told us, so he hastily began the change. For three days, Carlisle sat by Rosalie's bedside as she underwent the change, and for three days, I checked her thoughts. As I mentioned, she was proud, arrogant even. She didn't understand what was going on, of course. She thought that we had brought her to our home to torture her further, and she hoped that we would stop and let her die. She would have done anything to stop the agony, but still, she remained proud, believing that she was too beautiful for such a fate to befall her.

"When she awoke to her new life, I still didn't see in her right away what Carlisle had hoped I would see. I found her to possess many good qualities, certainly, but, I regret to say, I found her… Boring." He looked apologetically at Rosalie, who had suddenly decided that she had urgent matters to attend to in the living room. I watched her leave and felt guilty for having been the catalyst for her to relive these cruel words of her mate.

Edward waited until Rosalie was out of the room, though we all knew that she could still hear his story. "It wasn't long before she began to plot revenge against the men who had hurt her so badly. I couldn't deny that she had earned the right of vengeance, especially having not so long ago spent time acting as a sort of vampire vigilante myself. Protector of innocent women such as Rosalie had been. Although I found her motives… Uninteresting, I agreed wholeheartedly that the lives of those men were forfeit, and that they were hers to do with as she pleased. I did not reveal her plans to Carlisle, and I hoped that she would be successful. She envisioned herself murdering each man, one by one, saving her former fiancé for last, and without spilling a single drop of their blood. I had little faith that she could possibly hope to succeed at this task, for I remembered with perfect clarity what it had been like to be a newborn, overcome by the urge to drink the blood of any human nearby. All the same, I kept my criticisms of her plan to myself.

"She was able to dispense with the first four of her attackers easily enough. I was thoroughly impressed that she managed to kill four humans, newborn that she was, without spilling so much as a drop of blood. I truly thought she would have drained her first victim. I was beginning to believe she might actually be able to make it through her list of assailants, which, while it would not have endeared me to her as a mate, would certainly have gained a degree of respect from me.

"I knew the day she was planning to kill her former fiancé, and she was well aware that I knew of her plans, having already learned about my mind-reading capabilities. We exchanged a look before she left, I gave her a nod, and she vanished into the night. I didn't pay any mind to her actions again, knowing perfectly well that the man deserved what he got for how he'd made her suffer, and for how he would go on making women suffer if she allowed him to get away with his actions. Carlisle and Esme, still having no idea of Rosalie's vengeance, were out for an evening of dinner and dancing and I did not expect them to return home for several hours. I relished the solitude back then, glad for the chance to spend a few hours unencumbered by the thoughts of others."

I understood why Edward had to include so much background in his tale, but I was nevertheless growing antsy. So far, he hadn't told me anything that I had not personally experienced. Still, I didn't interrupt his tale, and he kept speaking.

"Two hours later, I heard her come in, but I did not hear her thoughts. She was deliberately blocking them from me." Now this was different. Rosalie had been quite pleased with herself when she had finished ending the life of Royce King. "At first, I assumed that she had perhaps been unsuccessful in killing him. I assumed that he would have been heavily guarded and well-hidden by this point, since she had killed the other four men, one after the next, over the course of several days as a deliberate warning to him, so it came as no surprise to me that she may have been unable to track him down or get to him. I paid it no mind and continued in my regular activities. After a few minutes had passed though, I heard the distinct sound of muffled vampire sobbing." By now, Edward had my full attention, for the story was very different from the one I had lived so long ago.

"I approached her room and found her, face down on the bed that she didn't need and had only because we felt, at the time, that we should keep up human appearances in case of visitors. She had her face buried in a pillow so as to quiet the sound of her tearless cries. _Go away, Edward_, she thought at me. I hesitated in her doorway, trying to decide whether I should truly obey her request. I couldn't understand why she would feel such remorse.

"For several minutes I continued standing there, watching her shake uncontrollably, until finally she heaved a great sigh and pulled herself into a seated position, arms wrapped around her knees. She still would not meet my eyes, but she looked toward me and asked me why I couldn't just take a hint and go away. She was wearing a wedding dress, which I couldn't help being amused by, but against the stark white dress, I couldn't help observing that she had done her best to try to clean off a bloodstain. Once I saw the stain, I realized that I could still smell it faintly, although she had done an excellent job of trying to rid the dress of the smell. 'Rosalie, your dress?' was all I said, and she buried her face in her knees and started to sob again.

"I wasn't quite sure what it all meant, but I could see that she was incredibly distressed, even more distressed than she'd been when she had been assaulted or when she had finished burning and found out that she was a vampire. I sat beside her and asked her if she wanted to talk about it. 'No, I do not want to talk about it with _you, _Edward,' she said, but she let down her guard and I saw the thoughts that were haunting her. She had arrived where Royce King had himself hidden away, and she had managed to dispense with his two bodyguards swiftly. She'd burst into his room. Her plan had been to kill him slowly, but he had other plans for himself. After receiving news of what had happened to all of his friends, he knew that Rosalie was somehow responsible for their deaths, even though it seemed impossible. He had no idea what she had become, but he had decided to take his own life if he heard her coming for him. He did not want to suffer, coward that he was, and he also did not want to take his life unless it was absolutely necessary, so he waited to hear her first. He had no idea how swiftly she would come, and so he was ill-prepared for her arrival when she burst in. Still, he had time enough to slit his own throat.

"Rosalie was a newborn vampire, only about a week old. That she had resisted draining the six humans, including the two guards, that she had already killed was nothing short of remarkable. To expect her to resist the fresh human blood that was pumping out of his body would have been ludicrous. Before she even had time to consider what she was doing, she was drinking the blood right out of his wound. In his last seconds of life, her former fiancé realized what she had become, and with the last air left in his body and the last of his strength, he made a noise that Rosalie was certain was a triumphant laugh. A laugh because, in the end, he had won. He had gained control over her in every possible way. Even by taking his own life to deny her that last piece of vengeance and keep her from torturing him, he had caused her to sustain her own life on his blood."

I could not conceal the shock and anger I felt at this. The man had already violated her, had tried to murder her, and had very nearly succeeded in doing so. Her human life had ended at his hands, and vampire venom could heal any physical scar, but it would never reach the scars that he'd left her with. For him to wheeze in triumph at her in her moment of weakness as he died; it was simply unthinkable. Truly, he had been a monster who did not deserve compassion or life itself. This must have devastated Rosalie, whose plans were dependent on not allowing any part of her attackers to be inside of her in any way. She needed to regain the control they had ripped from her, and he had made a different decision in this universe, one that had robbed her once more, in his final act, of her control over her own body. Edward nodded at me as I pulled the pieces together, then he continued his heartbreaking tale.

"I didn't know what to do or say. There was nothing I could tell her that would undo what had happened. She had known that she wouldn't be able to resist if she smelled the blood, so even telling her that it wasn't her fault would have had no effect. I just sat there with her, holding her and telling her she was all right now, that she would never have to suffer again. I saw a different side of Rosalie that night. Something in her changed as well. She was the same person, but she also realized that she'd lived her human life absorbed in her own beauty and in taking advantage of others. She started to regret things she'd never given a second thought to before. She could have used her beauty and status to call attention to the suffering of others, but instead, she'd focused only on herself. She had been spiteful of Carlisle for turning her into a vampire, but she realized that night that he had given her a second chance at life, a chance that she didn't want to squander away as she'd done with her first chance. She wanted to find a way to do good in the world, and I promised her that I would do everything in my power to help her achieve that."

"And so that was when you fell in love with her?" I asked out loud.

Edward frowned slightly, gathering his thoughts before continuing. "No, but I believe that was when she fell in love with me. For me though, that night was when I began to see her as an intriguing person. I began to fall in love with her over the next few months when her new resolve never faltered. She still knew that she was beautiful, and she still demanded attention for herself on her own terms, but she also helped others whenever she was presented with the opportunity. In the beginning, she was only able to write letters to shelters asking what sort of supplies they needed and make lists for Esme of what items to pick up, because she did not dare venture into town herself. As she built up her resistance toward the pull of humans, she began to do small things like repairing damaged windows in the homes of the poor. Many times, I saw her take off her own sweater and give it to a woman or child she found shivering in the street. As the years went by, she would fix up broken cars and donate them to charity to be sold in auctions. She still thought of herself, but she thought of others, too."

It disgusted me that this universe had been shaped so heavily by the decision of Rosalie's assailant, Royce King. Nevertheless, I could not deny that Rosalie seemed happier here than I had ever known her to be, and Edward, too, was happy. He was different, perhaps a bit more childlike, but that would have come with decades spent reading Rosalie's thoughts with such intense admiration.

"There are quite a few differences between that story and what happened in my own timeline," I told Edward, "but I'm afraid I must ask you to clarify another point for me. You see, where I am from, Rosalie asked Carlisle to change Emmett largely because he reminded her of a friend's child in her human life, but she knew at once that he would become her companion. I would have assumed that, if Rosalie already had a companion, Emmett would never have been changed, yet here he sits."

Emmett chuckled at first, then began to roar with laughter. "Me with _Rosalie?_" he cried incredulously. "I mean, no offense to Rose, she's beautiful and everything, but come on. The only way Edward's ever been able to keep his sanity while trying to keep her happy is by reading her thoughts and knowing what she needs from him at any given moment. I won't deny that she's got a good heart, or whatever it is vampires have that makes her compassionate, but she's so moody. She'd be a complete handful for someone who couldn't read minds."

Edward grinned in agreement. "Rosalie and I found Emmett while we were hunting together. She was reminded instantly of her friend's child, as you mentioned, and I could tell from his thoughts that he was one of the most good-natured people I'd ever met. Rosalie gave me a look and I knew instantly that I could not deny her what she wanted. We carried him back together to Carlisle, since neither of us was quite certain that we would be able to handle changing him. And of course you know that Alice and Jasper joined us some years later. You know, another person might have felt like the odd man out, being without a mate for all those decades while surrounded by three perfect couples, but Emmett never harbored a single bitter thought toward any of us. He teased us mercilessly, of course, and he was constantly trying to find new and interesting ways to humiliate us with his practical jokes, but he never fretted over whether he would find a mate."

"I always figured, brooding about it isn't going to make the right girl fall into my lap any faster. And I was doing fine on my own anyway. Why worry about it? What's that going to change?" Emmett said cheerfully. "I think it worked out fine anyhow."

"Now, Edward, would you mind telling us how things are different where you come from?" Carlisle asked. Although he spoke with his usual air of refinement, it was hard to miss that he'd been eager to ask this question throughout the entire time the Cullens had been telling me their own story. Rosalie had returned to the room, sure that the worst must already be over. I thought with some regret that she would probably feel differently once I began to tell my story.

The pieces did all seem to make perfect sense. Except for one. But the Cullens had already been more than amicable toward me, and I thought I owed them a few explanations before I could ask about Bella's role in their lives. I couldn't stop myself from getting excited about the fact that she did not belong to Edward in this place, nor did she seem to be with Jacob. I had the disadvantage that she did not love me already, but I knew that I would be able to overcome that in time, just as I had done the first time around. Would this be it? Could I have finished my journey already? I wanted so badly to ask about her, but I couldn't refuse Carlisle's request.

"Much of your story matches up to my own," I said slowly. "The difference was that Rosalie's attacker chose to simply wait and die. Rosalie was able to complete her objective without the distraction of blood. She returned home that night very pleased with herself, and she never underwent any type of experience that would force her to re-examine her choices in life. Truly, the only bad thing she'd ever endured was that brutal attack, and while it was undoubtedly a horrible, harrowing experience, it was one that was in no way her fault. She had achieved revenge for it, and had done so on her own terms, so she felt that she had won in the end. She never came to terms with the shallow life she'd led, and so she never tried to atone for it." Rosalie was visibly uncomfortable at my words, but she deserved to know the truth. "And she and I never cared for one another as more than a brother and sister do." Her eyes fluttered shut for a moment, but she squared her jaw and locked her eyes on mine. _You are not _my _Edward,_ she informed me boldly. _So I do not care if you never loved me. _He_ still does. _I inclined my head in her direction, conceding her point, and she adopted a look of victory.

"As I mentioned, she and Emmett became mates shortly after Emmett underwent the transformation. While I see where the ability to read minds would come in handy in keeping Rosalie happy, Emmett always managed to handle her in his own good-natured way. They balanced one another out amazingly well. It was I who was the odd man out, year after year, decade after decade, and I won't condescend to claim that I handled it as well as your Emmett did. Still, I managed, by throwing myself into studying reading, music, and science." I was reluctant to continue, but decided that this might be the best way to broach the topic I really wanted to discuss. "That is, until the day I met Bella Swan."

At precisely the same time, Edward gasped, and Emmett snarled. I was beginning to get a sinking feeling about my half-formed plan at keeping this Bella for my own. I hadn't been blind to Emmett's apparent protectiveness toward her, but I had been trying to pretend it away. Still I, needed confirmation.

"How can you stand to be around her at all?" Edward was astonished. "She may be a perfectly nice girl, but the way her blood smells alone makes her impossible to be near. Added to that the hidden nature of her thoughts, and she's simply maddening!"

"Those things are what caught my attention initially," I informed him. "I wanted to kill her the moment she entered biology class and sat beside me."

"As did I," Edward replied. "The only thing that kept me from it was imagining how disappointed Rose would be when I told her that I was the reason we would have to move again."

"I managed to find different motivations, although I didn't want to incur Rosalie's wrath either," I chuckled. "Over time though, I started trying to prove to myself that I could handle being around her, after all, who was she to break my resolve? An insignificant human!" Emmett's earlier snarl had turned into a full-blown growl. "That was how I felt at first. I was sure if I had a conversation with her, I would find her no different than any other human. I spoke to her during biology class after I took a break and went to Denali for a few days. But Bella proved to surprise me at every turn, and soon I found myself more intrigued by her personality than by her scent. It was an internal struggle in the beginning, but in the end, the man won out over the monster, and she was my reward… for a time, anyway." I added the last few words darkly.

"This, too, was different here," Edward informed me. "The idea of leaving town for a few days did cross my mind, but I couldn't bear to leave Rose behind or ask her to come away with me and leave her family behind. When I wasn't permitted to switch into a different class, I begged Emmett to switch his class with me. He was a year ahead, but since I was in an advanced placement class and he'd elected to take normal classes that year, it wasn't too difficult to convince Mrs. Cope to allow us to switch. We told her that I had an easily upset stomach and couldn't manage to take a class where frogs would be dissected so soon after lunch," Edward recalled with a chortle. "She was all too happy to rearrange our schedules a little once the two of us were in her office with her, turning up the charm."

"Yeah, I told him he owed me for that," Emmett grinned. "And of course, I told Bella the same story. She was pretty alarmed about how Edward had stared at her the first day. I told her he was just sick, and that was when he realized he needed to switch to a class earlier in the day. She suspected that my story didn't add up. Girl is too perceptive for her own good. But she let me get away with the story for awhile. I have to admit, the entire reason I was interested in talking to her at first was to see this demon-girl that had gotten Edward so worked up. Sure, she smelled pretty good, but it was nothing I couldn't handle. It wasn't as if her blood spoke to me _personally._ And I couldn't care less about her weird mental shield, since I can't read anyone else's mind either. I started to think wouldn't just be the best revenge on Edward for all those years I put up with him and Rosalie flaunting their relationship so shamelessly, if I brought Bella home?" I glared at him. This was not a good reason to begin a relationship. "Yeah, I regret that I started things off for the wrong reason," Emmett acknowledged. "But then I realized how _funny_ she was! Always blushing and falling over things. Plus, she turned out to be harder to charm than most girls, which piqued my interest. And I really wanted to aggravate Edward. I didn't realize _how_ bad his control was around her though." Emmett shuddered at the memory, and I deliberately avoided looking at it.

So Bella and my brother had become an item. As unlikely as it seemed, it was true. If she was happy, I would not interfere. Still, I couldn't understand a few more points. "I assume she knows what we are. She knew that the Taser wouldn't drop me like it would a human."

Emmett burst into hysterics, and most unfortunately broke Esme's favorite table when he drove his fist through it, pounding on the table with laughter. "She _tased_ you, bro?" He composed himself after a few moments, although every time he looked in my direction he started laughing all over again. "Sorry about the table, Esme. Bella didn't tell me she _tased_ him. Anyway, yeah, I had to tell her eventually. She notices things. Like when Rosalie saved her from being crushed by Tyler's van."

"Rosalie did that?" It had been me who had rescued Bella, and Rosalie had made no secret of her objection to my rescue operation.

"Yeah, she'd been trying to protect Edward from Bella's scent every chance she got. When she realized Bella's blood was about to be spilled all over the place, she just moved without thinking. That was the first time Bella realized something was different about us. She didn't dare as Rosalie what happened. Bella was flat-out terrified of her. Rosalie really wished Bella would go back to wherever she came from and stop tormenting her husband with that insane scent and unreadable mind," Emmett snorted.

"It took her awhile to really start looking into what we were, even after that happened," Emmett informed me. "I might have gotten away with it awhile longer if the kids hadn't all planned that trip to La Push. Poor Bella was begging me to go with her and keep her company, but of course I couldn't go, and I couldn't even tell her why. Then she got the story from that _mutt,_ before he even believed it was a true story. I couldn't even deny it when she confronted me about it. I just figured, all right, well, worst case scenario, we have to move again. Rose'll hate me, but it wouldn't be the first time." He grinned at Rosalie, who looked like she was ready to throw something at him, but seemed to be in better spirits than she'd been a short time ago.

"What about the incident in Port Angeles? How did you manage it? I had enough trouble keeping track of her when I could read the thoughts of others." I was terribly curious about this. Emmett was confused at my question, and I quickly added "Bella was nearly attacked by some men when she went on a trip to Port Angeles with some friends. I barely arrived in time to keep them from hurting her."

"What on Earth did you do, follow her around like a stalker? I heard Bella making plans to go dress shopping with Angela Weber and Jessica Stanley, so I offered my services as a big strong male to escort them around town, wait quietly outside the door of the dress shop, and carry any heavy packages they might have. In exchange, I got to spend the day with three beautiful ladies. They were pretty grateful for my help. And the flattery. I saw those three guys, and I was pretty sure what they were up to, but they got one look at me and let the girls walk on by. I assume that didn't work out quite the same for you."

I silently cursed myself for not having thought of that on my own, but I wasn't sure anyway if I could have pulled it off with the same finesse that Emmett would have. "No, it certainly didn't," I agreed. "And James and Victoria?"  
Emmett stared at me for what seemed like a very long time. "You mean those nomads that came through a few years back? They came through, we played baseball with them, they came back to our house to clean up. One of them caught Bella's scent in the house and I lied to him, saying some human girl had been out trying to sell us magazines that afternoon. The third one, Laurent, was interested in our lifestyle and decided to break off from his coven to stay with the Denali clan for awhile. Apparently he an Irina have a 'thing' now. The other two were perfectly happy to see the back of him anyway. We never heard from those two again."

"So Bella wasn't at the baseball game?" I already knew the answer to this, but I asked anyway.

"Why would _Bella_ want to come to a _baseball game?_ Come on man. I don't think she even knows the difference between a baseball and a basketball." Emmett laughed again, punching another small hole in the already-ruined table. "And anyway, I couldn't exactly just waltz into her house and tell her dad I was dragging her off to spend time with my family. She insisted that we keep things a secret from her dad until she was 18, because she was sure he'd say I was too old for her."

Amazing. Somehow, being with Emmett had kept Bella safe from nearly every danger she'd encountered with me, the only exception being Tyler's truck, which also happened to be the only danger that I hadn't put her in the path of in the first place. I was beginning to think that I really had been the cause of all of her misfortune.

"So, did you have to rescue her from _anything?_" I finally asked, exasperated.

"Sure I did. On her 18th birthday, when Alice threw her a party."

Thank goodness _something_ had been the same. Emmett had at least had to stop Jasper from killing Bella. Of course he probably didn't leave her for months, and even if he had, Laurent wouldn't have had any reason to come after her. It was infuriating how easily everything had fit together for Emmett and Bella.

Edward, seeing my thoughts, began to punch his own hole in the table with his laughter.

"Boys," Esme said. "Get all your table-punching out of your system now. I'm getting a new one delivered first thing, and if you so much as put a scratch in it…" She didn't bother to finish her threat.

Emmett continued. "Bella was opening her gifts. She got a paper cut. Who gets a paper cut on wrapping paper anyway? Only that girl," he shook his head several times. "Anyway, it was pretty rough having to fight off _both_ of my brothers at once. Jasper was still having a hard time, and well, Edward, the way her blood smelled to him…"

This was even worse than if Emmett had never had to protect her at all. The worst thing he'd ever had to protect her from, apparently, had been me. How could I ever have been so selfish, trying to be with Bella at all?

"I assume you didn't set off for parts unknown and leave her to become a shell of her former self?" I sniffed.

"You ask the weirdest questions, Edward. No, I certainly did not do that. Why would I even think of doing that? That's like something a crazy person would do. 'I love you, so I'm just gonna take off and abandon you at the first sign of hardship.'" Emmett stopped talking abruptly after seeing the pained look in my eyes. "Uh, yeah, anyway, I told her I was still gonna be there, and that we were still gonna be together, but it might be best for all of us if she tried to spend just a little more time with her other friends too, at least until Edward could get a grip on himself. Not that he ever really has," Emmett mumbled. "She was a little disappointed, but she understood. And for some reason she decided she was going to go spend more time with the Blacks out in La Push. I really wish she would've picked a different friend to spend more time with, but hey, whatever makes Bella happy."

"Is Jacob in love with her?" I drove right to the point of the matter without mincing words.

Emmett whistled at my boldness. "Yeah, I think he is. You wanna know something else? I think she's in love with him, too. But she loves me more, you know? And I'm not gonna tell her she has to choose."

"Doesn't it bother you?"

"Sure it does. But why sweat it? Sooner or later she'll either pick me, or she'll pick him. Whatever makes her happy. I can live with it. But worrying about it and acting like a basket case and forbidding her from visiting her friend is just going to drive her further toward him. And what's worrying about it change, in the end? I worry about it and she picks me, and all I did was waste my time worrying. I worry about it and she picks him, and all I did was wreck the good memories I could've had with her before she made her choice."

Sometimes, I thought Emmett was a much wiser man than I.

"Have you ever thought about turning her into a vampire? To make her safe from Edward?" I asked. I found it upsetting that Emmett had been successful where I had failed three times, in keeping her alive and human.

"It dawned on me. But then she couldn't be friends with Jake anymore. She knows that too, so she hasn't asked about it in a long time, ever since he became a wolf. She wants to be with me. I know that. And it's not like I'm going to let her die. If for some reason she's on her deathbed, I'll turn her, even if it doesn't happen until she's 90 years old. For now though, what's the rush? She knows that's always been my plan, so she's not in a hurry to make any permanent choices, not when there's so many things left to do in her life. I keep holding out hope that maybe one day that werewolf kid will do that _imprinting_ thing on some other girl and leave Bella alone, but until then, things are working for everyone. They're not perfect, but they're working."

I was loath to admit it, but Emmett's easygoing nature seemed to make him a more natural match for Bella than I was. He'd managed to solve every single problem I'd ever encountered during my time with Bella in every universe, simply by having such a _que sera sera_ attitude. Everyone was happy here, and no one was in danger.

As I thought these words, I heard the unmistakable loud sound of Bella's truck pulling up to the house. Alice looked frustrated. "I didn't see _her_ coming here either! I'm not seeing anything right today!"

The truck's door slammed, and the wet dog scent hit us, answering the question of whether Alice's visions had become faulty. "Jake, stop it!" I heard Bella pleading with her friend. "It's nothing to worry about, really!"

Jacob said nothing, continuing to press on toward the house. His mind seethed with pure fury. I looked anxiously toward my counterpart. There was no time for either of us to leave, and we wouldn't be able to get out of the house undetected before he got here, ready to slaughter me for frightening Bella this morning. _So much for only telling the family about my presence._


	15. Unexpected Dangers

**Eep! I know, I know, even though they make **_**sense**_** in a twisted kind of way, it isn't right at all. I'm sorry! I got the idea in my head and I couldn't **_**not**_** use it! No more Bella with any other Cullens who aren't Edward after this universe, I promise! (Notice how I phrased that? **_**Say, what does she mean by that? **_**Evil, aren't I?)**

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Fifteen – Unexpected Dangers

There wasn't even time to slip out the back. Even in his human form, Jacob would have caught my scent and given chase. He wouldn't be able to keep up with me at first, but he would quickly phase into a wolf and catch up to me. If I was caught, he would kill me, and then when he went back to the house and found Edward still very much alive, he would assume we had some kind of strange powers above and beyond those he already knew of, and the entire family would be in danger from the pack. There was no possibility of escape. All I could do was stay here and hope that Jacob would listen to reason. From the general tone of his thoughts, that seemed a rather lofty hope. To think that a mere week before, I had been desperately awaiting slaughter by a Quileute wolf, and it would probably have been Jacob Black himself who would have carried out my sentence, based upon what I had learned in Universe Two. I had believed there was no other alternative for me, believed that my time was. Now, that ambition was only a memory, but death at the hands of a Quileute wolf had found me instead, and I was trying frantically to think of an alternative before my time was up. The irony was not lost on me.

If this had not been a family of vampires and we had not needed steel-reinforced doors, Jacob would have splintered the door with his force when he kicked it in. "What the _hell_ Emmett?" His fury was directed, not at me, but at my brother. He hadn't even noticed that there were two Edwards in the room. He moved straight for Emmett and jerked him out of his chair by his throat. Not needing to breathe, Emmett was relatively unharmed by this motion, but it did render him unable to speak.

"Jake, stop it!" Bella hung back in the doorway, probably afraid to enter due to her earlier encounter with me. She truly needn't have worried; her scent was barely noticeable with the foul odor of dog filling the room. I doubted that other members of my family could even smell it at all. I noticed it only because it was so potent to me, and so welcome after three years without it. She flailed her arms helplessly as her best friend manhandled her boyfriend of nearly 4 years, the only human in a houseful of monsters. It might have been comical if the situation hadn't been so dire.

She looked anxiously around the room, hoping that one of the other vampires would come to Emmett's aid. Her eyes fell first on Jasper, who was doing his best to calm the situation. She continued around the table to Alice, then Esme, Carlisle, and me. She skimmed over me with her eyes as quickly as she could manage, apparently still shaken over my behavior this morning, and moved swiftly to Rosalie, and finally my counterpart. Her brown eyes grew wide as she stared at him, then back to me. Once again I found myself frustrated at my inability to discern her thoughts as she kept looking back and forth. I held my breath momentarily, waiting for her reaction. She slowly lifted her hands to her face and rubbed her eyes vigorously, then opened them again and repeated looking at the two of us.

She threw her head back and screamed. Jacob dropped Emmett and ran back to Bella's side. "What is it, Bells? What's wrong? Did you hurt yourself?" He still hadn't noticed that there were two of me in the room.

Bella raised one of her cream-white fingers and pointed. Jacob looked in the direction she was indicating and saw what she had her so terrified. He pushed her, a bit more roughly than I would have preferred, up against the wall where she would be out of harm's way, and phased on the spot. _I know I'm not supposed to attack you here, _he told us. _Technically, the treaty keeps me from it. But the treaty didn't say anything about you making duplicates of yourself, and I know one of you tried to break it this morning anyway. You'd better hope Sam issues me an order not to attack in the next 10 seconds._

Alice, not being privy to our conversation, rolled her eyes and made a _tut_ sound before leaving the room to find a pair of shorts. She had no specific desire to see more of Jacob Black than was absolutely necessary.

"Wait!" Rosalie cried, flinging herself in front of Jacob. "Please don't hurt them! Please, let us explain!"

_Tell Blondie to get out of the way. I have no fight with her. But I won't shed any tears over her either if she tries to stop me._

"Rose, love, don't do this. He's not exactly in the mood to listen right now." Edward stepped forward to pull her aside.

"_No!_" she screamed at Edward. "Do you really think I'd let him kill you and then just go on like nothing happened? Look at _him!_" She pointed at me before continuing. "He lost _his _mate and he's been nothing but an empty shell for three years, so much that our entire family in his universe didn't rest and barely ate so that he could go around having his heart ripped out over and over again trying to find her. Do you think my love for you is _less_ than his love for her?"

"No one's saying that, love. I just think it might be better if we ask Jacob to give us two minutes to try to explain. After all, he must realize how dreadfully outnumbered he is. It would be to his advantage, if for no other reason than to permit him time to gather reinforcements," Edward replied reasonably.

Alice had returned and tossed Jacob a pair of Emmett's shorts. Jacob grunted and ducked behind the couch to return to human form and pull on the shorts. "Think a little harder before you do that again," she muttered. "We have plenty of money, but it's not as if we have 50 pairs of one-size-fits-all shorts floating around in here for emergency wolf transformations."

Jacob sauntered back in and positioned himself between Bella and the rest of us. Emmett was already at Bella's side, trying to comfort her. She clung hard to his arm, her knuckles turning white. _Get a room,_ Jacob thought in disgust. His mind wandered for a moment, and he pictured Bella clinging to _his _arm instead. I managed to stifle a growl, but only just. I had to remind myself that Bella was not mine here, and she never had been.

Jacob turned his attention back to the rest of us, knowing that Emmett was not a legitimate threat to Bella's safety. He crossed his arms on his bare chest and stood arrogantly. "Well? You bloodsuckers have something to say to me?"

"Jake!" Bella, with her usual limited regard for her own safety, tried to lunge forward to punch him for his use of the term "bloodsucker," but Emmett held her back. Jacob rolled his eyes without turning around to look at her.

"I'm sorry for scaring Bella this morning," I told him. "I didn't mean any harm." It was partially true. I hadn't meant any harm once I'd come to my senses. I decided that Jacob didn't need to know the rest.

"Right, like I believe that. You've demonstrated more than once that you have no control when it comes to Bella. She brings out your true nature as a leech."

"I won't deny that her blood… sings to me," I remembered the term that Aro had used in Universe Two. "and you have every reason to be suspicious. I thank you for being such a loyal friend to Bella."

"Lapdog, more like," muttered Rosalie.

"Blondie, I told you boyfriends I have no fight with you. Don't make me change my mind about that," Jacob snarled at her menacingly.

"They're not my _boyfriends_," she retorted. "One of them is my husband, and the other is from a different timeline where he was my brother and _she_ was his mate!" she cried out, gesturing toward Bella.

Jacob looked questioningly at the two of us. Edward raised his hand. "I'm the husband. And I was not in Bella's home this morning." Jacob turned to look directly at me.

But I did not reply. I was focused on Bella. Her eyes were so wide with fear and she was shaking so hard that I worried she might faint. Impossibly, she clung even harder to Emmett than she had before. Her breathing had become ragged and her heartbeat quickened to a dangerous pace. Emmett, for his part, was stroking her hair and trying to soothe her with the sound of his voice. "Is—Is it true?" she stammered, her voice reduced to a barely audible whisper.

"Yes," I said solemnly.

"But what about Rosalie? And Emmett?" She released one hand from Emmett's arm and wrapped it around his sizeable, muscled waist.

"'Rosalie and Emmett' is a good way to refer to them, where I come from," I responded.

Bella gaped at me, then turned back to Emmett. "You and Rosalie?"

"As if!" Rosalie and Emmett said in unison, and I couldn't help laughing out loud.

Bella bit her lip and I thought I might go insane from not being able to hear her thoughts. "What's wrong, babe?" Emmett asked her, tilting her chin up with his fingers so that she was looking in his eyes. It was a very intimate gesture, and I felt a twinge of jealousy smoldering despite myself.

"I couldn't possibly compete with her. She's so beautiful," Bella mumbled, forlorn.

Rosalie was pleased by Bella's assessment. "Well it's a good thing you don't have to compete," she said simply. She had meant to sound reassuring, but she sounded self-important all the same.

"What my sister _means_ is that we don't feel that way about each other, at all," Emmett told Bella, rolling his eyes at Rosalie's attempt to help.

"Okay, enough of this soap opera," Jacob interjected. "I didn't come here to watch everybody talk about their feelings." Edward's mental middle finger had returned, but this time it was pointed at Jacob for my amusement. It worked. I found myself suppressing a grin as Jacob continued. "So you were at Bella's house this morning, not because you wanted to _kill_ her, but because you wanted to take her away from your own brother?"

Emmett glowered at me. I realized that I hadn't quite gotten to that part of my explanation before Jacob arrived, and I couldn't exactly tell the whole truth in front of Jacob. "No, I had no plans to take her away from Emmett," I said truthfully. "I didn't know the entire situation yet, but I need to be sure that she is safe and happy before I move on." I hadn't lied, exactly, but I certainly hadn't told the full truth. Edward silently promised to keep my secret safe.

"I am!" Bella spoke up, bravely taking a step toward me. "Emmett is the best. He makes me laugh, keeps me from being so serious all the time. Even Charlie likes him, 'cause he talks sports and cars with him. They've been going fishing together ever since Harry Clearwater passed away."

Jacob winced at the mention of Harry's name. He gave Bella a long, hard stare before letting out a long breath. _I guess I really don't stand a chance_, he thought regretfully. He brightened up after a moment. _Maybe I should take up fishing. I'm not giving up. Not while her heart still beats._

"All right, I guess it's not as bad as it sounded," Jacob gave in, unable to watch Bella and Emmett together any longer. I sympathized silently to myself. "I better get back and let Sam know there's no danger. Thanks for the shorts. I'll uh, leave them by a tree outside. If you're okay, that is, Bells?"

"I'm fine," Bella said confidently. "It was all just a misunderstanding." _Not quite,_ I thought.

"Whether I like it or not, the pack will know about this development," Jacob warned me. "The treaty keeps it from going any further, but I'd advise you to get out of here sooner than later."

"I'll be leaving shortly," I confirmed. "I just have another matter to discuss with Emmett before I go." I had to warn him about the very real possibility of Bella becoming impregnated with a half-vampire child. This was not going to be a comfortable topic of conversation. I had to admit to a degree of surprise that this had not already happened. Emmett's moral values were a bit different from mine, due in part to his having been born a few decades later than I.

Edward seemed a bit surprised by the notion that humans females and vampire males could, in fact, reproduce. _Still, I wouldn't worry about that, _he informed me.

_It's something to worry about sooner or later,_ I told him, still surprised that it hadn't yet come up.

_It's none of my business,_ Edward answered. _I'll let Emmett cover that subject._ He refused to provide me with any further information, blocking his thoughts somewhat effectively.

"I should go," I said after Jacob had left and we'd heard his wolf footsteps carrying away toward the reservation. "I'm sorry that I didn't have more time to fill you in on everything I've seen in the places I've visited before, and I'm sorry for disrupting your lives," I added with a meaningful look at Rosalie.

"There's been no disruption," she told me firmly, grasping Edward's hand.

Bella no longer seemed frightened of me. She stepped forward again. Her scent was still overpowering, but I was regaining my discipline. I regretted that I had lost it this morning, but it had turned out to be a very good thing that this Bella did not care for me as so many other Bellas out there would. If she had leapt to embrace me while I was still weakened… I shuddered at the thought. She took a long, hard look into my eyes, and I gazed back into hers. "It's true," she whispered. "You really do love me."

"More than my own life," I informed her quietly.

"I'm sorry I don't… feel the same," she told me. So very like Bella. Always sorry for the wrong things, sacrificing her own happiness and well-being and throwing herself upon the most dangerous of volcanoes, a perpetual martyr of her own creation.

Under Emmett's watchful glare, I reached for her warm face and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. She flinched only the very slightest amount at my touch. "It's all right," I said. "They love you too." Emmett stiffened at my casual use of the plural pronoun, knowing precisely to whom I was referring.

"I know they do," Bella murmured. "I've already made my choice, but…"

"You must do your best to be happy. For everyone who loves you." I leaned in and softly kissed her cheek, breathing the mixture of fire and heaven that rose up from her skin, savoring this fragrance, for I did not know when I might encounter it again. "But most of all, for yourself."

Bella blushed as I stroked her cheek with my thumb. "I am happy." she said.

"I know."

We gazed at each other for what may have been moments or hours before Emmett cleared his throat. "Why don't I take you to wherever you need to go to leave?" His irritation was apparent; one did not need to read his mind to hear it.

"Emmett! Don't be so inhospitable," Esme chastised him. "or I'll make _you_ pay for my new table."

Emmett gave a booming laugh. "I should anyway, I'm the one who broke it."

"Let's go, Emmett, or you may never be rid of me, and you already have enough competition," I said softly, still not looking away from Bella.

"There's no competition," Bella said, tenderly stroking Emmett's arm as he came to meet me. Emmett swelled with pride and a vampire version of testosterone.

"Thank you all," I said to my family, still drinking Bella in with my eyes and nose. "Goodbye, Bella."

"Goodbye, Edward," she said, a pang of regret in her voice. But she had nothing to regret. She had everything she could want in life right here with Emmett, who would care for her and protect her far more effectively than I had done. I wondered if I was being selfish continuing to try to find a Bella of my own, but I knew that I had no choice. My life was forfeit without her.

I took one last look at the woman I loved, etching the image into my flawless memory for all time. Then I silently stepped out into the night with my brother. I still had one last matter to discuss with him before I could leave, to ensure Bella's safety. It was the very least that I could do.

I told him where we were going, and we ran in silence. His mind was in turmoil, having been introduced to the concept that he was bonded with Rosalie in at least 3 other universes, and that his Bella was his brother's mate. _Not that anything's wrong with Rosalie,_ he thought to himself, _but she can't compare to Bella._ I was inclined to agree.

We arrived at the clearing, and Emmett was preparing to say goodbye to me and head back. "Wait," I told him. "I have one last thing we need to discuss. This won't be comfortable for either of us."

"Well gee, Edward, that'll be such a change of pace from the rest of the night. Imagine, us having an uncomfortable conversation."

"Sarcasm won't change the importance of what I need to talk to you about," I informed him coldly.

"Fine, what is it?"

I considered how to phrase this delicately. Truly, what he and Bella did behind closed doors was no business of mine, but he needed to be aware of the risks. He must be aware of the possibility of losing control and hurting her, but he would have no idea that he could accidentally end her life by causing her to give birth to a half-vampire that would kill her from the inside out. Bella in Universe Two had managed to survive, but there had been no margin for error. It was not a chance worth taking.

"Just spit it out, Edward. You don't have to worry so much about offending me," he grumbled.

"True," I grinned. "Well, I don't know what kind of activities you and Bella have been engaging in or have plans to engage in, but there are certain risks you may not be aware of."

"Oh Christ, is my brother really going to stand here in the middle of a field and talk to me about the birds and the bees? This is not happening," Emmett put his fists against his ears in exaggerated gesture.

"Emmett, this is important," I continued. "In the first universe I visited, Bella had been turned to a vampire because she had nearly died in childbirth."

Emmett removed his fists from his ears and shook his head. "Edward, you don't have to worry about that."

"Sooner or later—" I began, but Emmett interrupted me.

"No, Edward, Bella can't have children," he told me.

"Carlisle _thought_ that vampires and humans couldn't have children," I corrected him, "so he didn't advise Bella and Edward to take precautions. But apparently, vampire males and human females are biologically compatible enough to conceive. The females don't normally survive."

"No, Edward, you're not understanding me. Bella can't have children. At all. With anyone."

I blinked several times in confusion. "It happened in another universe," I told him.

"When?"

"As I understand it, shortly before her nineteenth birthday."

Emmett made his lips into an "O" shape and breathed air between them. "Yeah, that's not long after it happened," he said.

"After what happened?"

"All right, well, I know this might be too much information for you, but first of all, Bella and I didn't have _that_ kind of relationship right away. I wanted to wait until after she turned 18, because whatever we felt for each other, I still wasn't comfortable with the physical age difference while she was underage," he chuckled. "Then she turned 18 and that whole thing happened with Edward and Jasper, and her head was not really in a good place while she was getting closer to Jacob. I gave her plenty of space to figure things out, for a long time. Then, about six months later, Alice got a sudden, strong vision that something was very, very wrong with Bella. Carlisle checked her out and we sent her to the very best oncologist in the country." Emmett explained.

"Oncologist?"

"Well, yeah, he couldn't exactly book an operating room as a general practitioner and just say 'well you see, my psychic daughter saw something and I confirmed it with my vampire senses,' now could he?"

"No, no, what did she see? What was wrong with her?" I was frantic with worry.

"Ovarian cancer," he told me flatly. "There's no test that screens for it routinely, and normally by the time symptoms appear, it's too late to do anything. If we didn't have Alice, well…" Emmett sighed. "But we _do_ have Alice," he finished. "She might've caught it sooner if Bella's future hadn't been flashing in and out of existence so much. She sees Bella still, but her future is so intertwined with Jacob she sometimes disappears for days at a time. Bella's made her decision about being with me, of course, but the fact that she still has feelings for Jacob causes her future to _seem_ uncertain. Anyway, it was caught in plenty of time to save Bella, but the surgery she had rendered her unable to ever have children. Sorry, I forgot you don't know what happened to a human version of Bella who survived the last few years."

"No," I said slowly, "I don't." This new development was worrisome, for it meant that Bella's life had been intertwined with mine from day one. No matter what path had been taken, if it hadn't been for her chance encounter with me, she would probably be dead by now, since Alice would have had no other reason to look into her future. This was a grim outlook, and I feared what I might find later in my journey.

"But Alice didn't see anything like that in any of the other three universes I've been to," I pondered aloud.

"Well, let's see now," Emmett raised a finger. "In your universe, forgive me for being so blunt, but Bella was dead by then." I winced, but nodded in agreement. He held up a second finger. "In that second universe you talked about, Bella was turned into a vampire a few months after Alice had her vision here in _my_ universe, so there would've been nothing for Alice to see, no danger. What about the third place you went?"

"She was turned into a vampire even before her 18th birthday," I finished. It made sense. I suddenly felt queasy. If I were still human, I would have vomited right then.

"Don't sweat it, Edward. Things will work out for you somehow." Emmett clasped my shoulder. "You've got about 70 years or so to try and find someplace where things turned out just the right way for you. Bella's tough, she's a survivor."

"I hope you're right, Emmett. Please take good care of her."

"Always," he told me, echoing the sentiment of my counterpart in another place I'd been. "I'd better get back to her now. Good luck." He extended a hand, and I shook it gratefully. A moment later, I was alone again with my thoughts.


	16. Ghost of the Past

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Sixteen – Ghost of the Past

As disturbing as Universe Four had been to me in any number of ways, I still found it difficult to leave this place behind. I knew that I would become disoriented from the unbearable pain of shifting worlds, so I decided to take a few minutes here in this field to mull over what I had learned in my journey so far. It brought me comfort to know that Bella, my human Bella, was only a short distance away, even if she belonged to my brother Emmett.

I had been so certain, long ago, that I was doing the right thing when I left Bella to live out her human years. I had believed that this was the only way for her to have a normal life, and more importantly, that a normal life had been what she deserved. I had never, even for a millisecond, imagined that perhaps Bella had been destined for a shortened life. Now it seemed that the only thing that was even capable of keeping her alive was her involvement with a family of vampires. What cruel twist of fate had made it quite literally impossible for her to live without me? Once upon a time, I had envisioned myself a sort of guardian angel – or demon, as it were – protecting this fragile girl from a future wrought with disasters borne of her own lack of self-preservation instincts. I had believed that I could become her protector and escort her through her life, steering her away from the things that go bump in the night or the evils that lurked in the hearts of men. But the evil that lurked within me, in the cavern where a human heart had once beat, seemed to be worse than anything else she might encounter in her life, and so it had been that I had left her. Any dangers she might disregard in the future, I had reasoned, would pale in comparison to the perils of remaining so close to her own natural predator, a killer who would greedily drink the life from her and beg for more.

But I had been wrong. The hair-brained angel who had carelessly thrust Bella into my path had known precisely what she was doing. The greatest danger to Bella's existence had never been those she inadvertently brought upon herself from stumbling and bumping into objects in her path. It had never been inattentiveness to the hazards that lurked in her surroundings that had put her life at risk. It had never even been her willingness to associate with a pack of bloodthirsty unliving creatures who were forced to fight their survival instincts in order to simply be near her. No, the greatest threat to Bella's life had been a common, human frailty that took so many lives. The sloppy angel had determined that the only way to rescue Bella was to shove her into the path of a psychic vampire who would grow to love her as a sister.

I had been meant to be Bella's deliverance from that fate.

How could I have been so blind when I could see the world so clearly?

How could I have thoughtlessly presumed that Bella's life would be a long and happy one if only she had never met me?

There was no hope. There had never been any. I had believed that Bella's number had been up from the moment she met me, but I was wrong. Her number had been called long before that, and I was the only thing preventing her from approaching the counter, paper number grasped in her warm, cream fingers, to meet her fate.

I had been meant to protect her from death itself, and I had failed.

I allowed the self-pity to overtake me for a time, sinking to the damp ground beneath me. How could I possibly continue in my journey to find Bella now that I knew that I had failed her in even more ways that I had ever dreamed? The idea that I had once struggled so desperately against the notion of changing her into one of our kind seemed trivial to me now. How could I begin to deny her a real chance at experiencing life, even if it meant being cursed to this eternal night? I had never known that my choice was between Bella living among my kind or Bella dying a slow, painful death, while her human family was forced to watch helplessly. My actions had been inexcusable in light of this new information, and her death at the hands of Laurent in my own world seemed kind and fortunate in contrast to what she must surely have faced elsewhere. Would I already be too late, if I found a Bella who had never met Edward Cullen?

I drew myself up and set my jaw in determination. There was only one way that I could find out. Up to this point, I had been on a mission for the sake of my own life. Now I was racing the clock to save hers. Somewhere out there, Bella needed me. Needed me more than I had ever known, and not simply in the sense of finding one to love her and cherish her as she deserved. Bella's very life, or existence if that was all I could provide to her, hung in the balance.

I keyed in the now-familiar sequence that would take me to find her, and for once, I welcomed the ripping and tearing sensation that came with it. This was the penance I must pay for the self-centered behavior I had displayed by believing that Bella would be better off without me. Every stab of agony, ever feeling of rending, I had earned through my own self-loathing. I had been Bella's salvation, and I had cast aside my role because I was incapable of believing that my kind could be a protector of life. Despite spending decades living with Carlisle, the most compassionate healer I had ever met, and Esme, a woman whose love and empathy were her most defining characteristics, I still considered them to be the exception and believed that the rest of our kind could bring only suffering and death.

This was why Bella had been meant for me. So that I could save her, and in turn, she could save me from the misery of my own manufacture. I had spent so long believing that I had nothing to offer her and that I'd done nothing to deserve this good fortune.

But I would.

Gradually, the pain of shifting lessened and I found the clearing returning to my senses. Now, with my newfound fortitude, I did not hesitate here, but ran at a full pace to my family's home. I was ready to perform my duty, the one that I had been twice born to fulfill. I would rescue Bella Swan.

I did not slow my pace as I approached the door. I was eager now, no longer hesitating to read the thoughts of those inside before arriving unexpectedly on their doorstep. I didn't take note of the somber tone within the house or the conspicuous absence of another mind-reader in their midst. I didn't even knock at the door this time. I simply flung it open and entered, as though I had been invited.

"Edward?" Esme looked at me as if she had seen a ghost. "But Alice told us that you…"

"He did!" Alice insisted. "I saw it! And I didn't see him just now. This isn't possible."

I opened my mouth to explain to Alice why she hadn't seen my arrival with her gifts, but the thoughts of my family were too strong for me to avoid. There was chaos within their minds. Sadness, mixed with confusion, shock, and a glimmer of hope. I couldn't miss the one thought that each person was thinking nearly in unison.

_Edward. You're dead._

I struggled momentarily, trying to find out from their thoughts precisely how my counterpart here had met his end, but their thoughts were in too much turmoil to pinpoint his fate. My attempt to understand this universe was cut short when Esme flung herself at me, throwing her arms around me in an unbreakable embrace. _Edward, oh Edward, I don't know how this is possible, but I've missed you so much_, she told me silently.

Was this it? Had I found the place where Bella could be mine? Could I be so fortunate already? But more importantly, had she survived? I panicked. I knew that I owed my family an explanation for my sudden appearance, since apparently the Edward they knew and loved was dead, but there was something much more important that I needed to know.

"Bella. Where is Bella?" I managed to choke out, though Esme's arms were cutting off my ability to breathe.

Rosalie scoffed loudly. _Of course, he shows up after we think he's dead for three years and all he cares about is where his human pet went without him. The whole thing was probably just a show because he was too much of a coward to face us._ An involuntary growl escaped from my throat and Esme finally backed away in alarm. _It should be fun, _Rosalie continued with her internal monologue, _when he finds out that he came waltzing back here for nothing. _

"She's gone, Edward," she spoke aloud so that everyone could hear her, "and she will never, ever be yours again." At least I didn't have to worry about this Rosalie being too similar to the one I'd just left behind in Universe Four. This was definitely my own Rosalie, I decided, as a look of triumph took over her features.

My own face fell as I took in the meaning of Rosalie's harsh words. The despair I'd left behind only a week before overwhelmed me again, and Esme reached out to steady me as my own legs failed to support me. Jasper yelped in alarm at the strength of my desolation and tried in vain to bring the situation under control. He looked at Rosalie in disgust as he realized what I must have thought she'd meant.

"No, Edward, it's not what you're thinking!" he cried out frantically. "She's not _gone_ in that way." I heard his words, but I couldn't comprehend the meaning. How could anything have meaning if Bella was gone? I struggled to understand what Jasper was trying to tell me.

Esme shared a meaningful look with my brother. "What they're trying to tell you, dear, is that Bella is alive and well and safe," she told me firmly.

That, I was able to understand. I straightened up, quickly resuming control of myself and straightening my jacket. I noted Alice's silent approval of my attire and smiled. I would need to tell her soon that there was a good reason that my clothing met her highly discriminating standards. But I still had a more important matter to attend to. "Where is she? I need to see her."

A long silence hung in the air as my family immediately moved to block their thoughts from me, each of them looking at one another, trying to decide who should be the one to break the news to me. Rosalie opened her mouth, but Esme shot daggers at her, willing her not to be cruel to me. For the first time, I noticed that traces of Bella's scent were in the air here, but it had been a very long time since she had visited. Months, perhaps. I found it difficult to believe that she would not be here even without my counterpart's presence, if for no other reason than to visit Alice.

It was Carlisle who finally spoke up. "Son, I don't think that's going to be possible."

"Why?" What could possibly prevent me from seeing Bella? If she was away at college, I would travel there myself to visit her. There was no place in the world that was off-limits to a vampire, even without the aid of the unlimited funds that my family held. I didn't have access to those funds myself, separated from my own universe as I was, but surely my family here would be willing to help me. Even if they were not, even if they all believed as Rosalie did, that I had deliberately deceived them into believing that I was dead for three years, I could get there on my own. I would go on foot, running, swimming if she was overseas, I didn't care.

"It's a bit complicated. Let's move to the table to discuss everything."

Confused, I allowed my family to steer me to sit at the head of the table where I had sat only hours before. This table didn't have any holes punched out of it, I noted with chagrin at the memory of Emmett's raucous laughter. Once again, I was seated at the head of the table with Carlisle on my right, but this time, no one sat at my left. The empty chair lingered there, and I wondered why no one in my family wanted to sit near me.

"Why can't I see Bella?" I tried again once everyone was seated.

"No, Edward, enough! First you're going to explain to _us_ exactly what you're doing here. You died three years ago. I saw it." Alice's anger was evident in her voice, and I saw the same reflected in the eyes of each member of my family.

I took note this time of the fact that my death in this timeline had coincided roughly with the time of Bella's death in my own universe. What could have happened to lead to my death? Had I left her here, as I had done in Universes One and Two? But I didn't have any patience for this line of questioning. I needed to find Bella. It pained me to deceive my family in any way, but I simply didn't want to spend time dissecting the timelines when I had found what I was looking for. Bella was here somewhere, and Edward wasn't there to stand in my way. So I lied.

"Well, Alice, your visions aren't always completely foolproof," I said coolly.

Tiny, optimistic, energetic Alice drove her fist clear through the table. I really had to find a way to convince Carlisle not to have these discussions here. I was growing tired of watching Esme become upset at her destroyed tables. Not that it mattered, since I would be staying here.

"Dammit, Edward, you know perfectly well that this wasn't one of my visions. I was _there_. I saw it with my own eyes. You died."

I saw it in her mind, her memory of what had transpired. She stood helplessly in the chamber of the Volturi as Felix ripped Edward's head from his body, his face contorted in an expression of anguish. It was very surreal, watching my own death through Alice's vivid memory. Apart from the fact that the death sentence had been carried out, the scene looked identical to what Alice had shared with me in Universe Two, except that Bella was nowhere to be seen.

I sighed. There was no way for me to avoid explaining myself first. I would have to wait a little longer to find out where Bella was. It would be worth the wait, since neither my counterpart nor my brother stood in the way of us being together. I had already waited three years for this. I could wait a few more hours.

"I'm sorry for my deception," I began. Before anyone could leap up to attack me for assuming that I had intentionally allowed them to believe me dead for three years, I added quickly "Your own Edward Cullen did indeed die. I'm sorry that I allowed you to believe, moments ago, that I was him. I had hoped to put off this rather lengthy explanation until I could see Bella." I ignored the worried glances exchanged by my family. Whatever supposedly insurmountable problems stood in my way, I would overcome them quickly to get to her.

I went through my explanation at rapid-fire speed, explaining how I had come from another universe, how Bella had died there and my family had made it possible for me to search for her in another universe. Feeling upset for having misled my family, I even went into detail about each universe I had visited so that they would not feel that I was leaving out parts of the story. I explained why Alice had not been able to see me, although I speculated that she may not get headaches here, since there was only one of me. I watched Carlisle's look of rapt attention as I went through the entire tale. Rosalie was bored and disgusted at the notion that her own counterpart had helped construct this device for the mission she saw as pointless, but fascinated by the mention of her own importance in the last universe I'd visited. Emmett tried to hide his amusement at the idea of himself with Bella, lest Rosalie punch him in anger. Jasper lost control and his guilt washed through the room when he learned that his counterpart had lunged at Bella in all but one of the places I'd been, including my own universe. Alice began to feel guilty for her counterpart's indirect role in Bella's death in my universe. Emmett felt guilty that he'd been amused moments ago at my pain. Even Rosalie was feeling guilty, apparently believing that she was somehow responsible for Edward's death. I couldn't handle my own guilt and shame as I finished my tale.

"Jasper, everyone is feeling a bit guilty right now. I don't suppose you could think of something happier?" I asked him.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I just can't believe I did that every single time, except for the one time when she wasn't human anymore," he groaned. "I'm responsible for so much suffering."

"It wasn't you," I reminded him. "I was the one who put her in that position in the first place."

"I'm sorry, Edward," he repeated, "it's just that I've carried this guilt with me for so long. It's my fault that you—he—died here. If I'd had better control of myself, I wouldn't have lunged at Bella, he wouldn't have left her, and everything else wouldn't have happened. And he wouldn't have gone to the Volturi to die."

So I'd been correct, Edward had asked the Volturi to kill him just as he'd done in Universe Two. But what had been different? Why had they carried out his request? I recalled Alice's presence in the scene and pieced it together from what Bella had told me in Universe Two. They must have denied his request and he'd planned to reveal himself. Alice had traveled to Italy to try to stop him, but she would never have been able to succeed in that task without Bella. Why had she decided to go alone? She must have seen in her own vision that bringing Bella along was the only way to prevent Edward from unveiling his true nature in a public display.

"I'm a bit confused about that," I admitted. "Bella was able to stop Edward from stepping into the sunlight in the first place I visited, giving the Volturi no reason to destroy him. From what I saw in Alice's memory moments ago, she didn't bring Bella with her here."

Once again, members of my family looked nervously at one another. I could catch only snippets and words from their thoughts, and nothing made any sense.

Alice finally spoke up timidly. "Things here were similar to what you've described, to a point. Unlike your own Alice, I didn't peek soon enough to see Laurent, so the wolves intervened and kept her alive. I did peek not long after that, but I didn't see Bella jumping off a cliff."

"What did you see?" I asked her.

"I didn't see Bella at all." Alice looked away, ashamed. "She had no future whatsoever. I assumed that meant she was dead. I didn't know there was any other possibility." She looked back to me, her eyes pleading with me to forgive her. She took a breath and continued. "I came back to Forks to see what happened, to see if it was anything I could have prevented. I caught up with Bella at her house while I was waiting for Charlie. I couldn't figure out why her future had disappeared, but I also wasn't seeing much of anything with her _friend_ around." I remembered that Universe Two's Alice had been greeted by Bella with Jacob in tow when she went to visit.

Alice continued, "I actually was starting to think that I'd lost my visions. I tried to tell Bella that werewolves were not good company to keep, but she wouldn't listen. She actually threw me out, can you believe it? She said I had no right to show up at her house after I'd disappeared without a word for months and then talk about Jacob like that. Anyway, I was on my way back home when I had the vision of Edward going to the Volturi. I realized the mongrel had been blocking my visions. I couldn't exactly go back and ask Bella to come with me. She'd been furious with me for what I said about her dog. I could see from my visions that I didn't stand a chance of stopping Edward, but I could also tell I didn't stand a chance of getting her to listen, and there was just no time to go back and beg her. I went to Italy by myself, and of course I couldn't get to him in time with cumbersome clothes on that I had to wear to keep from being seen _myself._ I managed to make my way to him, but it was too late." Alice's words caught in her throat, and it took her a few moments to press on. "I accompanied him to the chamber, figuring it was the least I could do, to make sure he didn't die alone. Aro let me go, of course, since I hadn't done anything wrong. He could see clearly in my thoughts that I'd been trying to _stop_ Edward from carrying out his plan."

"So Aro read you? He didn't come looking for Bella after finding out that she existed, a human who knew too much?" I was alarmed, even though I knew rationally that something must have happened to allow Bella to survive all this time without the Volturi killing her.

Alice shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "They didn't say that they were going to, but this _is_ the Volturi we're dealing with. That was why I insisted that we move back to Forks, even though Bella was furious with me and even though the family was grieving so much. I thought she'd need our protection. Eventually they sent a couple of members of the guard to scout, but by then, the loophole had been found and the Volturi had no fight with her any longer. Bella has forgiven me and she comes to visit now and then, which is why we stay. We don't talk about him," she finished.

"Loophole?" I echoed Alice's earlier term, but she didn't seem to want to say anything further. I was growing irritated. I really wanted to see Bella. "Never mind, you can explain later. Where's Bella?"

Carlisle cleared his throat. "The answers to both of those questions are tied in together. Humans aren't supposed to know of our existence, but there are some limited exceptions for those who are directly involved in other non-human activities and phenomena."

"I mean no offense, but I'm growing a little weary of this. Will someone please explain to me where Bella is so that I can see her?"

"Oh, stop being so delicate with him," Rosalie huffed. "He obviously just wants answers." For once, I agreed with her.

"The answers will be difficult for him, dear," Esme said gently, raising a hand to indicate that Rosalie should stop talking.

"Do you think you're making it any easier by dragging it out?" Rosalie looked at me determinedly. "Bella married that dog after he _imprinted_ on her. Under the circumstances, she's allowed to know all about us. And by the way, Edward," she continued cruelly, not even pausing to allow the first part of her explanation to sink in, "she's unbelievably, sickeningly happy, even more than she ever was with you."


	17. Anger and Loss

**For everyone who has noted how rapid-fire the updates have been coming, there are actually a couple of reasons for that. First, I get so ridiculously excited about writing certain scenes that I can't wait to get to them! Second though, I went back to school a couple of years ago and I just finished my last class earlier this month. I desperately needed something constructive to do with my spare time, and it's looking like writing is going to be it. =)**

**Thanks so much to everyone who has given words of encouragement!**

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Seventeen – Anger and Loss

This was not happening.

That was the only plausible explanation.

I was _not_ hopping from one universe to the next, each place growing progressively more horrible than the last. I had _not_ been responsible for the death of the only woman I could ever possibly love. I had _not_ spent three long, painful years agonizing over each and every decision I'd made that had led to her early demise. I had _not_ left that place to find another place where I'd turned her into an undead monster after thoughtlessly impregnating her with a murderous child that had killed her with its strength. I had _not_ moved from there to a place where she'd been turned into a monster by a man intent on killing her for no discernible reason other than because it would upset a family of vampires he'd met in passing. I had certainly _not_ then gone to a place where she was in love with my brother and I, somehow, was with my impossibly self-centered sister. Above all, I was definitely _not_ now in a place where a werewolf, of all things, was her husband.

These kinds of things simply didn't happen. I shut my eyes tightly and began to count. _1… 2… 3… _This must have been some kind of delusion. I was dreaming. Never mind that I hadn't slept since 1918. I must be feverish. Yes, that was it. _27… 28… 29… _It was still 1918, I was a teenage boy with the Spanish Influenza, and when I opened my eyes, I would see that the last 80 years had been nothing more than the delusional fantasy from my deathbed. _72… 73… 74… _Then I would die, and everything would be made right.

_But if that were true, it would mean that Bella wasn't real_. The thought came to me unbidden.

Of course Bella wasn't real. _135… 136… 137… _No one who was so pure, beautiful, and perfect could possibly spare a second thought for a confirmed murderer. The idea was preposterous.

_But she did._

This was nonsense. _163… 164… 165… _I would not allow this hallucination to go on any longer. It was time to resume reality. Women like Bella simply didn't exist in the real world, and holding on to this imaginary life where I lived forever was doing nothing to help me deal with my impending demise.

"Edward?" A quiet voice interrupted my internal dialogue. I recognized it as Dr. Cullen, the doctor who had been treating me. _204… 205… 206… _In my dream, I'd turned him into my father, and I'd imagined a new mother for myself, along with two brothers and two sisters. Ridiculous. I already had a mother and a father, and I was an only child.

"Edward? Son, you're scaring us. Open your eyes, please." Dr. Cullen was talking again, and he was calling me his son, just as he'd done in my fantasy world. _247… 248… 249… _In my elaborate mirage, I had also been able to read minds. How was I thinking of all these insane notions? I must be very near death indeed.

_Son, I know this is a lot to take in, _I heard Dr. Cullen say to me silently. _288… 289… 290… _But that was impossible. People couldn't read minds. _Look at me, please._

Reluctantly, I opened my eyes. Six worried vampires stared back at me, and there was a vague burning sensation in the back of my throat. I groaned, for this had been no illusion, which meant that Bella really was married to a werewolf.

"I'm sorry," I told them, finding my voice again. "I suppose I believed, for a moment, that I'd gone mad."

Carlisle reached out to touch my shoulder. "I don't know how you haven't. You've been through so much."

"I'm afraid I don't understand." I confessed. "You see, every difference I've encountered so far has been the direct result of a decision made by someone. Decisions that seemed insignificant in the grand scheme of things have had a monumental impact. But Jacob Black imprinting on Bella, that seems utterly random. He didn't imprint on her anywhere else I've been. I suppose he had little chance to do so in my own universe, as well as the one where Bella became a vampire before he became a wolf. In two other places though, he spent a great deal of time with Bella after he completed his transformation, and he never imprinted on her. Are you quite certain that he did?"

Esme rose from her seat and came to sit in the chair to my left. She draped her arm around my shoulders to comfort me. "I'm so sorry, dear, but yes. He did."

Carlisle looked thoughtful. "It does seem strange. Imprinting seems to be a biological directive, from what limited information we've been able to discern. The wolves themselves aren't even quite certain how it works, but it seems to happen the very first time one of them sees the target of their imprint after they have fully transformed to a wolf at least once. It does seem highly unusual that he would imprint on Bella here if he wasn't biologically wired to imprint on her no matter what."

Suddenly, a more important concern interrupted my mulling over how Jacob had managed to imprint on Bella. "Cancer," I spit out, "Bella had cancer. How did she survive?"

Alice looked surprised that I knew this, but shook it off quickly. "Bella is still my friend, even if she doesn't make it out to visit very often. He doesn't like her coming here because he thinks we're a danger to her, and she hates knowing that she's carrying our scent back with her and Jacob has to suffer," she explained. "We talk on the phone regularly, since he has no legitimate reason to object to that. I hardly ever see her future because it's so wrapped up with his, but every now and again I can see her if she's spending a few hours away from him. When he's out running patrol, when she visits her father without him, and so forth. I keep an eye out for her, even though it's extremely difficult, because she's my friend and I love her.

"A couple of years ago, I got a very clear vision of Bella at a doctor's office getting some test results and crying. She told me later that she had decided long ago to go alone whenever she needed to go to the doctor. She said she wouldn't want to upset Jacob if it turned out to be nothing, and she would want me to be able to see if it turned out to be something major. Very rational thinking on her part," she announced proudly. I smiled, realizing that every once in awhile, Bella was capable of thinking in a way that would help her to preserve her own life.

Carlisle picked up the story where my sister had left off. "Alice called Bella and she came in right away for me to give her an initial examination. We paid for her to get treated by the best doctors money could buy. Jacob fought us at first, saying he didn't want our 'filthy bloodsucker money,' but he gave in when he realized that we were doing it to save Bella's life. She was afraid he wouldn't want her anymore after the surgery, but of course he didn't mind in the slightest. 'So there won't be any more wolves with the name Black after this. It's no big deal. My sisters will carry on the bloodline,' he told her." I nodded approvingly. Of course, if the legends were true, Jacob was likely to outlive her by decades and would take more wives after she was gone, carrying on the Black name after all. I felt an emptiness spread over me as I thought of Bella's eventual, unavoidable death.

"I don't mean to sound cruel, but why do all of this for Bella after Edward was gone?" I asked.

"Bella is part of this family. She became part of this family the moment you chose her." Esme informed me matter-of-factly. "It doesn't matter what she is or who she married. We take care of our family forever. We don't stop loving a member of this family just because we disagree with their choices." She gave me a meaningful look, silently reminding me of the time I'd spent living as a nomad so many years ago.

At least I had been able to do some good for Bella before dying in this universe. Regardless of her subsequent decisions, her time with me had saved her life. I was relieved to learn that she was safe, but I was still baffled at what type of choices anyone could have made that would have resulted in Jacob imprinting on her. Imprinting was not voluntary. Jacob couldn't have _decided_ to imprint on her. If he could have, I felt certain that he would have done so in half of the places I had visited. I needed to get the story from Bella. Alice had limited information about what had happened to Bella during the months after the family had left Forks. She might not be happy to see me, but I needed answers so I would know what I could face as I continued on my journey. Her life might depend on it, I realized. I recalled that Bella had met up with Jacob shortly after arriving in Forks, before she'd even met me. If he had transformed into a wolf sooner in a different universe for any reason and had imprinted on her that day, her life might be in danger.

"I really do need to talk to Bella," I said firmly. "I understand that there are complications, but it's very important that I understand the circumstances."

Rosalie grew angry at my request. "You can't take her away from him!" she yelled. "Even if it were possible now, it wouldn't be _right._ You're being unbelievably selfish, Edward. I'm happy to see you again, but what you're doing is wrong."

"I don't intend to try to talk her out of her life, if she's happy. I just need to understand how it is that Jacob imprinted on her here and not in the other universes. It could be important."

"You're going to leave us," Esme realized. "You're not staying." It wasn't a question.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. "Losing Edward was horrible and senseless. I realize that now. But I am not here to try to take his place. I have a mission to accomplish. I'm very sorry for your loss."

My mother shut her eyes and placed her head in her hands. It was Emmett who broke the silence. "We understand, Edward. It's good to know that you're still out there in other places. And that you didn't go have the Volturi rip your head off in your own universe."

"I would have, if Carlisle hadn't stopped me," I admitted darkly.

"Well, at least _somebody_ managed to stop you." Alice's thoughts were riddled with guilt as she spoke. A dark cloud moved over her features, but she shook them off and continued brightly. "I'll call Bella right now. This is going to be hard to explain, and I can't see how she'll react since Jacob's around."

Alice was on the phone in seconds. I watched her thoughts so that I could hear Bella's voice on the other end of the line. "Hey Bella, it's me!" she said cheerfully.

"Hi Alice!" Bella sounded happy to hear from her friend. "You're not calling to take me shopping, are you?" she said suspiciously. I chuckled. Bella was probably the best-outfitted woman on the reservation, if she allowed my sister to control her wardrobe choices.

"No, actually, I have something a lot weirder to talk to you about."

"I don't know, that last shopping trip was pretty weird." Bella's words caused Alice to remember their trip to Paris a few months before. Alice had taken her there during a week of heavy rain when Alice would be able to roam the streets of Paris freely. They'd had to ship most of their purchases home because they wouldn't have been able to get through customs with so much to declare. It had taken her two days to remember that Bella needed to eat and sleep, and she'd remembered only after having a vision of an exhausted and underfed Bella fainting in the middle of the street.

"Hey, I _told_ you I was sorry about that! You should have said something!"  
"But you were having so much fun," Bella protested. Of course she would think of someone else's fun over her most basic needs. This shouldn't even come as a surprise to me by now.

"I was, but I wouldn't have been having so much fun if you'd collapsed!" Alice chastised Bella. "You have to take care of yourself too. You can't rely on vampires and werewolves for _everything_."

"Sorry," Bella said, not sounding very sorry at all. "So what's going on?"

"Well actually, something very strange is going on," Alice admitted.

"Something strange in a town with a family of vampires and a pack of werewolves? No way! Is the zombie apocalypse coming?" Bella joked.

"Well," Alice hesitated, "to be honest, I do have a visitor that is, in a way, here from beyond the grave."

Bella was silent for a long time. "I don't suppose it's Harry Clearwater, is it?"

"No," Alice told her.

Bella sighed. "I'll be right there. I don't know what I'm going to tell Jake."

"He's not staying long," Alice told Bella quickly, "he just has a couple of questions for you."

"Good," Bella muttered. The line went dead.

"Bella will be here soon," Alice said. Her face went blank for a moment as she tried to pinpoint exactly when Bella would be arriving. "Ugh, I guess she's bringing her dog with her. I can't see her getting here at all."

In a single, swift movement, Rosalie got up from her seat, came up behind me, and smacked me, hard, in the back of the head. "Just what we need. Do you know how long it takes to get rid of that horrible smell?" I had some idea of how long it took.

"Come on Rose, let's go hunt." Emmett coaxed her. "We don't really need to be here for this." Rosalie gladly took his arm and they walked toward the door. Emmett looked back over his shoulder and tossed me a wink. I was silently grateful to him for making this scene slightly less difficult than it would already be. _In case I don't see you again, goodbye Edward. It was really nice to have a chance to say that._ I inclined my head at him and gave him a sad smile. _I'm sure Rose would say goodbye too, if she was thinking clearly. _I wasn't so sure, but I accepted his words graciously, and the two of them were gone.

"Hard to believe she didn't even want to spend some time with Edward before he leaves," Alice sniffed, her disapproval evident.

"Maybe it was just too difficult for her," Esme said kindly.

"You give Rosalie too much credit," Jasper was shaking his head. "If you knew how she was feeling, you might think differently."

"Rosalie is a lot deeper than you think. She just hides her true feelings effectively." Esme insisted.

"Not _that_ effectively," Jasper muttered under his breath.

Esme pretended not to hear. "I wonder if Bella and Jacob have had dinner yet? Should I prepare something for them?" She was eager for the opportunity to use the kitchen, since she so rarely had a chance.

"Even if they did, Jacob's always hungry. It might soften him up a little if you shove some food at him," Jasper chuckled.

"Yes, and they can always take home the leftovers," Esme brightened up and whisked away into the kitchen to whip up some food.

"I don't think that boy knows the meaning of the word 'leftovers,'" Alice called sweetly. "Oh! I just remembered, I picked up a few new outfits for Bella last week. I'll have to box them up for her so she can take them home with her." Alice left the room and Jasper followed, wanting to stay near her in case she needed his help with her emotions during this difficult time.

This left me alone in the room with Carlisle. I felt slightly awkward as Carlisle thought to himself that this reminded him of my early years as a vampire, when it had been just the two of us. He'd missed me terribly over the last few years. _I always wondered whether I did the right thing in changing him, _he thought to himself. _When he left us to die, I felt like I'd failed him. At least this time I'll have a chance to say goodbye first. _

"You did do the right thing," I told him quietly.

Carlisle laughed softly. "I'm not used to blocking my thoughts anymore. It took awhile for me to get back into the habit of thinking freely whatever popped into my head."

"I'm sorry that I can't give you the privacy to which you're entitled."

"It's a small price to pay, Edward. An incredibly small price to pay. I never even realized how small a price it was until you were gone."

I lowered my head. "I'm very sorry for your loss."

"So am I, son. More than you know." Carlisle paused, considering how to phrase what he wanted to tell me. I picked out parts of it from his mind, but I didn't interrupt him, wanting to give him the chance to phrase it the way he preferred.

"I was angry with you, Edward," he told me frankly. "for a long time. You upset your family so much by running off to the Volturi without even saying goodbye to us. If Alice hadn't been able to see the future, we would never have known what happened to you. You just would have stopped returning our calls one day, and it might have taken us decades to learn the truth." Carlisle's words cut me like razors would cut into human flesh. "I know it wasn't technically _you_ who did it, but I also know that you would've done the same thing if this had been the set of circumstances you were given."

I couldn't deny that he was right. I had, after all, considered going to the Volturi in my own timeline. Almost every day, I considered going there without warning, against Carlisle's wishes, breaking my promise to him. The only thing that had stopped me was the thought of having an easier time convincing the wolves to kill me instead. This family could easily have been my own, if I had followed through any one of those days. I had scarcely given a second thought to the suffering they would feel at my loss, so wrapped up was I in my own mental torment.

"I know life without Bella must have been a daunting prospect," Carlisle continued. "But it wouldn't have been impossible. Others have done it. Marcus lost his wife, you know. And he had far less to go on living for than you."

"Could you have done it? If you had lost Esme, could you have gone on through the endless torment, never ceasing, never finding meaning in anything, not even getting the relief of sleep that humans are able to find?"

Carlisle was quiet, lost in thought. "Yes," he finally said. "I don't know how I'd do it, but I would. I would get through one day, then another, and another. I'd have the children to help me. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie would be there for me, and they would be devastated if I destroyed myself. Just as they were devastated when _you_ destroyed yourself."

Of course the family would be torn apart if it lost Carlisle and Esme, the heart and soul that made the family a working unit. But I was just an eternal surly teenager with no real purpose here. I didn't bind the family together as they did. I knew that my loss had been felt; I'd seen the effect that my footprints had left behind when I walked out of their lives forever. Still, to compare my loss to the loss of Carlisle was akin to insanity.

"I know what you're thinking, son. I can't read your thoughts, but I still know what you're thinking. Maybe there's _some_ truth to the idea that the family would be more torn if they lost Esme and me. But we haven't really been whole since we lost you, and we never will be again. A human can live without its legs, certainly. But he'll always miss it. Things will always remind him of what he's lost. He'll see someone out for a run and feel sad that he can't run anymore. He'll see someone stand on their toes to reach the top shelf and be upset that he can only reach halfway up from his wheelchair. Even the most simple of actions that most people take for granted become cumbersome, and even for humans with a positive attitude, living on without legs can feel like a burden at times. Maybe you're right; maybe losing Esme and myself would have killed the family the same as ripping out the heart of a human. Still, we lost a very important part of ourselves when we lost you, and we will never fully recover from that loss."

I had never felt more ashamed than I did in that moment. I remembered how I'd felt when I returned home after killing hundreds of humans. I remembered how I'd felt when I almost took Bella's life the first day I met her, how I'd felt when I almost killed those men in Port Angeles who meant to do unspeakable things to her. I recalled with perfect clarity how I'd felt when I had considered taking Bella's human life away and making her one of us, each and every time I'd thought of it, and I remembered how I'd felt when she had died because of me. None of it, even the guilt I felt for my role in Bella's death, now compared to the shame I felt for the sorrow I had brought to my family. Even though it hadn't been me, I would certainly have done the same if the events of my own universe had mirrored these. They would go on forever, never sleeping, never resting, and never forgetting their fallen brother and son. He was gone forever, and it had been completely avoidable.

"I'm sorry for unloading on you, Edward. There were so many things I wanted to say to you for so long. I never thought I'd have the chance."

"I'm glad that I was able to help you achieve some closure," I said sincerely.

Carlisle clasped my shoulder once more, then got up to see if Esme needed any help in the kitchen, leaving me alone with my thoughts and my guilt.


	18. Imprinting

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Eighteen – Imprinting

"It's all true you know," a pile of boxes remarked in Alice's muffled voice as they trotted into the room. Another pile of boxes was entering behind the first, and this pile of boxes had Jasper's mental signature. On further inspection, Alice and Jasper were each carrying a stack of perfectly sized garment boxes. Each stack was high enough to reach their hairlines. I was entertained, in spite of my somber mood, that two separate four-foot stacks of boxes full of clothing apparently constituted "a few outfits" in my sister's mind.

"What is?" I replied to my sister's statement. "The fact that Bella will need to build another closet to hold all of this?"

Alice set down her stack and rolled her eyes. "These aren't _all_ for Bella. Jacob goes through clothes so fast. It's mostly shorts, since that's what they all prefer to wear, but I had to get him some nicer things too. Every time he shreds his nice suit, I buy him a new one. I think he's doing it on purpose to see how long I'll keep doing it."

"He tolerates us," Jasper said, sensing my confusion and guessing at the reason for it. "Only because he knows how upset Bella would be if she couldn't see Alice anymore. The imprinting thing, apparently it means he'll give her absolutely anything she wants. If she wants to hang around with his sworn enemy, she can, as long as she comes back in one piece. Just because he tolerates us though, it doesn't stop him from trying to irritate us. I think he's hoping that one of these days _we_ won't be willing to tolerate _him_anymore. If Alice tells Bella she doesn't want to see her anymore, it wouldn't be _him_ denying her what she wants, you see."

"Well, he can try. It's pretty hard to get under granite-thick skin!" Alice was so cheerful that it was easy to believe she was unaffected by Jacob's ongoing attempts to agitate her. "But to answer your question, Edward, everything Carlisle said was true."

"I know. I don't know if I could have understood that a week ago, but I do now. I've seen already how one person's choice can make such drastic changes affecting everyone around them. I didn't want to go into great detail in front of Rosalie, but the place I just left showed me quite a bit about that."

"How do you mean?" Jasper had been interested in how it was possible that I could have felt so differently toward Rosalie.

"The miserable excuse for a human who brutalized her and left her for dead made a seemingly insignificant choice when she came after him. That small decision on his part changed aspects of her very nature, which in turn, changed how Edward viewed her. This made some small changes to him as well. Emmett, without Rosalie, was in turn changed and became disposed to seeing Bella as a viable mate. Events then unfolded differently. James and his coven never encountered Bella, and presumably, they are all still alive. The Volturi never became involved with the family's dealings. All of these things were possible because one human made one infinitesimal choice."

"It's fascinating, really Edward, but what does that have to do with what Carlisle was telling you?" Alice didn't seem to have much patience for the path my epiphany was taking.

"My choice to live or die has an impact on others that I had never considered. People whose lives I may never have directly touched were still affected by my decision. Royce King had been dead for more than 50 years before Bella Swan was even born, but his decision impacted her life significantly," I explained. "I suppose it's impossible for anyone to truly see how many others are affected by the things they do and the paths they choose today."

Alice tilted her head to one side, looking thoughtful. "I never looked at it quite that way, but you're right." She picked up one of the boxes and smacked me over the head with it. "You big idiot!" It didn't hurt, but it was quite unexpected. I started to protest, but Alice's years of suffering without her brother were apparent in her face, and so I stayed silent.

I was grateful for the opportunity to spend some time with Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme while we awaited the arrival of Bella and Jacob. Even though I had spent some time with them in other universes, it had always been a bit strained with the presence of my own counterpart. I felt terrible that his absence meant they had endured a great deal of suffering, but it felt very natural to fall into easy conversation with my family here. Alice wasn't combating headaches, and there was less tension from having only one morose Edward making various downtrodden remarks.

Having mentioned the nomad coven, I couldn't help inquiring about Victoria's fate here. I knew plainly what had happened to James, and I could only assume that Laurent must have met his end to the wolves. I worried that the vile, uncontrolled female may still be out there, plotting her revenge and planning to kill Bella. I was pleased to learn that Jacob Black had destroyed her himself here, just as he'd done in Universe Three. Without Bella jumping off cliffs, he apparently had little trouble taking her down. So there had been no newborn army here either. Perhaps that course of events had played out only in Universe Two, I thought hopefully.

Carlisle and Esme were putting the finishing touches on an enormous meatloaf when, for the second time in the last twenty-four hours, I heard the unmistakable sound of Bella's truck. I was suddenly extremely nervous. Jacob had been extremely protective of Bella in the last universe, but here, he would likely be even moreso. Considering the difficulty with my control that I'd experienced around human Bella, I feared I might soon wind up fulfilling my earlier death wish now that I no longer had any desire to end my life. Jasper sensed my anxiety and fine-tuned my emotions to shift my concerns toward seeing Bella again.

The bitter, foul odor of canine wafted into the room ahead of everything else as Jacob Black entered the room first. He scanned for dangers without speaking, holding out an arm to keep Bella safely behind him. He focused last on me, making a mental note of my eye color and being satisfied with what he found. He bore a look of smug satisfaction as he stared me down. _Take your best shot, leech._ He gently took Bella's hand and led her into the room. "Everything looks fine," he whispered to her.

Jacob immediately found his way into the kitchen, following the scent of the meatloaf. He started to simply dive into it when Esme playfully slapped his hand away and handed him a knife, a fork, and a plate. Jacob rolled his eyes, but took her mothering with good humor. He considered her to be sort of a second mother-in-law to him, albeit a sickeningly sweet smelling one. He dug into the meatloaf, leaving Bella alone in the living room with Alice, Jasper, and myself. She greeted Alice and Jasper warmly and insisted that the clothing purchases were far too much, but Alice wasn't listening. She and Jasper left to load up Bella's truck.

I had no problems with controlling my thirst for blood this time, but it took every ounce of resolve I had to control my hunger for her heart. I had been too overwhelmed when last I'd seen human Bella to take in the differences in her appearance. She had aged only three years since my own Bella had perished, but with my heightened vision, I could see every change, every new hair that had grown, every laugh line that had developed, every new scar from bumping into furniture or tripping over her feet. The short years had been kind to her, but I could still see that the passage of time had affected her.

Most importantly, I noted the change to her eyes. My Bella had always looked upon me with unconditional love. The last Bella had looked at me with fear and apprehension. This Bella looked at me with annoyance and disdain. I felt something splinter in my chest at this sight. She folded her arms and shifted her weight to her left foot, her hip jutting out slightly. "Well?"

"Bella—" I began.

"Isabella." She corrected me coldly.

I blinked several times, not understanding. Why must her thoughts be such an eternal mystery to me? "I thought—"

"You thought wrong."

"I'm sorry. I heard Alice call you Bella earlier. I thought that was what you still called yourself."

"Oh I do. But _you_ call me Isabella."

From the kitchen, Jacob snickered gleefully, spraying hunks of meatloaf on the kitchen counter. He started to apologize, but Esme wouldn't allow him to speak with his mouth full.

Bella's—_Isabella's_—words were painful to me. I could see what she was trying to do. She wanted to deal with me on strictly a business level. She was drawing a clear line that I was not to treat her with any sort of familiarity. To her, I was only as important as the receptionist she must speak to as a brief annoyance before being put through to handle a more important matter. There was no need for me to refer to her by her chosen nickname. I resolved not to allow her to see how much she'd upset me. She had every right to be angry with me.

"All right. Isabella, then." I arranged my features to be, I hoped, completely passive. "Would you mind if we took a brief walk to discuss a few important questions I have for you?"

"Yes, I would mind. I don't _really_ owe you any answers, Edward, but I'm willing to hear them anyway. If there is anything I choose to answer, I would most definitely like to do so with the full knowledge of my husband and in his presence." Isabella, as I vowed to think of her for the duration of this visit, had changed. She was much more confident and assertive. It suited her, I realized. I only wished that she didn't loathe me so much, but I knew that I deserved it.

"Very well," I conceded. As difficult as these questions would be, it was probably better to ask them in front of Jacob anyway. He may be better equipped to answer questions about imprinting than she was.

"Bella, dear, I'm so sorry to interrupt, but if you want any meatloaf, you should probably come and cut yourself a piece now. I don't think it's going to last until the end of your conversation," Esme called.

"Thanks, Esme, I actually haven't eaten since lunch. Excuse me, please." I noted that Isabella had not corrected Esme for calling her Bella, and that she spoke much more kindly to my mother than to me.

_I'm sorry, son. We tried to warn you, _Carlisle told me. _It isn't that she hates you. It's more that she segmented the part of her that loved you. _I was trying to be understanding, but I disagreed with Carlisle's assessment of Isabella's feelings toward me.

Isabella Black returned a few moments later with a much more reasonable portion of meatloaf than her husband was consuming. She seated herself on the couch and began to eat slowly, looking at me expectantly as if I should continue. This, too, was intended to send a message. She considered whatever I had to say to be so trivial that she would discuss it while eating with no regard for pleasantries.

"I'm a bit curious about your current living arrangement," I began.

"I don't think that's any of your business." Jacob answered for her.

"It's OK, Jake. I can handle this." She set her fork down on her plate and folded her hands in her lap. There was no hint of the nervousness that my own Bella had always had around me. She was in complete control of this situation, and of herself. "Edward, I don't think you have any right to ask questions like that."

"I realize that I hurt you terribly—"

"Edward, you will let me finish if you expect me to answer any questions you have for me," Isabella interrupted me. She paused, making sure that I was not about to start talking again before she continued. "When you left, I will admit that I was devastated. You broke all your promises to me, and I felt discarded and unwanted. If you didn't want me anymore, I could have understood that. There was no need for you to take your family away from me too though. I mourned you, in my own way, when they moved back to town and Alice told me what happened to you. Regardless of what happened between us, the way I'd felt about you was real, and for that, you will always have some place in my heart, whether I like it or not." It was clear from her tone that she did not.

"But tonight, I find out that you just put on some kind of elaborate act to make me and your entire family believe that you were dead. The whole town thinks you're dead, as a matter of fact. There really wasn't any other way for them to explain why they moved back here without you. I'm not sure what you were thinking by doing that. I wasn't some kind of crazed stalker. I would have left you alone. You didn't have to go to such lengths and upset everyone so much. It's not acceptable. You haven't seen how your family was for the past few years. I have. You could have just told me you didn't want me. For once, you could have just been honest with me. But you never were. You never have been, and I don't know why I should be now."

She was angry with me, that much had been apparent. But the reason for her anger was not because I had left her and gone back on every word I'd ever said to her about wanting to be with her for the rest of her life. She was angry because she assumed, and reasonably, that my presence here meant that I had faked my own death and caused my family undue heartache. It was incredible that she was still able to surprise me.

"I'm afraid there's been a misunderstanding, Bella." It was Carlisle who spoke up, intervening on my behalf. He knew that Isabella would have no reason to believe anything that I said now. "I'm afraid the Edward we knew did die. This man," he gestured to me, "is the Edward Cullen from a different timeline."

Isabella and Jacob both gaped at me, each of their faces a perfect mirror of confusion, shock, and disbelief.

"Yes," I said. "I am trying to learn about each place I visit so that I can better achieve my eventual purpose. You see, I didn't really know what to expect in terms of what combination of factors would affect changes in each universe. Up until this point, it has seemed that decisions made by individuals caused these variations. But there is a very curious difference here that I hoped you might be able to shed some light on." I decided it would be best to hold off on explaining my objective unless it became necessary. Jacob and Isabella Black would not be particularly inclined to assist me in finding a Bella Swan of my very own.

"What difference?" Isabella was intrigued now, and she seemed to have forgotten to remain cool and collected for a moment.

"Well, to be perfectly straightforward, in the universes I have visited, there have been two distinct places where Jacob had an opportunity to imprint on _Isabella,_ but he did not. I was under the impression that imprinting was involuntary, so I'm having trouble understanding how any choice could have affected this event."

Isabella closed her eyes and seemed to be recalling a painful memory. When she spoke, she did so without opening them. "Tell me more about these two universes and how everything played out. I need more details before I can tell you what changed."

I expected Jacob to protest Isabella's willingness to cooperate with me, but he, too, looked interested in learning more about the mechanics of imprinting. "In the first such universe, Bella—do you mind if I refer to your counterparts in other universes as Bella?"

Isabella shook her head, eyes still shut. "If they were content with you calling them by that name, then I have no reason to object to their judgment."

"All right. In that universe, Bella was devastated when Edward left her. She spent months performing only the most necessary of tasks, such as eating, sleeping, and going to class. She spoke only when it was necessary to speak. Eventually, she learned—and I am not condoning her behavior—that she could hear Edward's voice if she carried out certain life-threatening activities, such as approaching a group of ill-intentioned strangers." Isabella nodded, apparently familiar with this set of circumstances. She had yet to open her eyes, and I realized that I longed to see the chocolate coloring again, even if they would scrutinize me with ill-conceived judgments.

I continued the tale of Universe Two's Bella. "She began to visit Jacob Black after finding a pair of stray motorcycles and deciding that this would afford her the greatest opportunity for danger. She went to him, hoping that he would be able to repair the bikes, and they began to form a deep bond. I believe it was about a month later that he first transformed into a wolf. He never imprinted on her, despite the fact that they remained friends." Isabella's eyes flew open and she gasped. I savored the reappearance of her soft brown eyes and the delicate intake of her breath. I stopped, believing that she had something to say.

"I think I have a theory," she explained, closing her eyes again. "But I need to hear about the other universe to see if it fits."

I continued at her request. "In the other such universe, events long before Edward's first meeting with Bella created some change in their dynamic. Edward in that universe was paired with Rosalie," Jacob laughed heartily at this, not holding back his thoughts about how much easier that would have made things for him, but I pressed on. "He was still drawn to the scent of her blood and her mind was still closed to him, which caused Emmett to find her rather intriguing. Emmett reacted quite differently to the events that caused me, as well as your own Edward, to leave. Instead of breaking away from Bella, he told her that he wanted very much to remain together, but encouraged her to spend time with her other friends as well. She chose to begin spending a great deal of time with Jacob. He never imprinted on her there, either."

Isabella nodded, seeming to agree with her original theory. "I think," she began slowly, "that it was my own decision that caused Jake to imprint on me." I had not expected this in the slightest.

She went on, choosing her words with care. "The first part of what you said about the Bella who was with you was true." I chose not to correct her decision to lump me in with the other Edward, although I found it much easier to mentally separate them when I spoke. "I was suffering so much. I realized after watching a zombie movie with Jessica Stanley that that was precisely what I'd become, a walking zombie. I saw those strange men and I thought they might have been the same men that you'd saved me from just a few months before. It was too bizarre, such a sense of déjà vu. I felt drawn to them because they reminded me so much of you." She was a little ashamed when she spoke, and I realized that she was worried about hurting Jacob's feelings. I shot him a concerned glance and he growled too quietly for Isabella's human ears to detect. _Let's get one thing straight. I'm not worried about you, so don't you worry about me._

Isabella hadn't paused. "I heard your voice then, and I considered two possibilities. Either my subconscious was giving me what I wanted to hear, or I'd gone crazy. I preferred the idea that it was my subconscious," she admitted sheepishly, "but I decided that it wasn't a chance worth taking. Jessica was furious with me, and I started to see what I'd done to everyone around me. I confessed everything to Jessica." Seeing my look of horror, Isabella corrected herself. "I confessed everything about my nightmares and my preoccupation with Edward to Jessica, and I told her about hearing voices. I apologized to her for putting such a burden on her, but I asked her if she would please come into my house with me and be with me while I talked to Charlie about everything. Jessica was always a little stuck-up, but she was so glad that I was finally doing the right thing by involving an adult that she was happy to help, especially after seeing that I was starting to turn self-destructive."

I had literally shifted to the edge of my seat, so intrigued was I with Isabella's self-preservation techniques in this universe. She was still talking. "Charlie was _very _upset. He was wringing his hands and trying hard not to shout at me for going after those strange men. He had talked to me that morning about sending me back to Renee to stay, and now he proposed sending me back there temporarily. He said he was sure there were better doctors in Jacksonville who could help me, and I agreed. Getting away from Forks for a little while turned out to be very healthy for me. Nothing reminded me of you and your family. My mother actually had me sent for intensive therapy in a facility for the first two weeks that I was in Florida. Of course I couldn't tell my therapist that you were a family of vampires, but the basic problems were still very much the same as they'd have been if you were human. I started to see that I had to really _try_ to move on. People lose people that they love all the time, and just because you were a vampire didn't mean I had to act any less like a normal human."

This had been precisely the sort of attitude I'd hoped that my own Bella would have adopted when I'd left her. As much as it had pleased some very basic, instinctual parts of me that Bella had clung to me so desperately, I was pleased to see that Isabella had a much healthier attitude. A much more human attitude. And Edward's greater purpose in her life had been served by helping her to attract the attention of his psychic sister, thereby saving her life. Perhaps _this_ had been the life she'd been meant to lead, I thought with a pang of sorrow.

"I had to accept that you didn't want me, and that I had to move on." Now this part was inaccurate, but I wasn't about to correct her and cause her any more pain. "I was in Jacksonville for just a few months. Eventually, I was declared stable enough to return to Forks and start seeing a doctor here. Renee tried to talk me into staying, but I really wanted to go back to Charlie. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to finish out my classes for that year because of the intense therapy, but with several doctors' notes, I had planned to re-enroll in high school in the fall. By the time I got back to town, all of my friends were going away to college. It was an important part of my therapy that I should try to visit with friends now and then, which led me to Jake." Isabella turned to smile up at Jacob, who had finished off the rest of the meatloaf and was standing over her behind the couch with his hands on her shoulders.

"I had undergone the transformation to a wolf while she was in Jacksonville," Jacob explained. "I was pretty dangerous to be around for the first few months. If I had known Bella was coming up to see me, I would have tried to talk her out of it. Once I saw her though, it was like I had never seen anything in the world before. I forgot about everything that had ever made any difference to me. Bella was my world now, and she was the only thing that mattered." He shook his head. "I couldn't have sent her away after I imprinted on her, but I can't imagine letting her keep coming around if I hadn't imprinted. I don't know what was wrong with my counterparts in those other universes you talked about."

"They didn't imprint on her, but I'm fairly certain they had fallen in love with her during the time she spent with them," I informed him. "It's a much lesser connection, but still one that they were unwilling to let go of."

"Well, Bella's pretty easy to fall for," Jacob grinned.

Isabella spoke again. "So I think the difference was my own mindset when Jake saw me for the first time after he was a wolf. In those other two universes, my heart still completely belonged to someone else. My heart was still healing when I saw him here, but it was much more open. I think maybe the target of imprinting has to be _available_ to be imprinted on in order for it to work. That's the only thing I can think of. I've never heard of a case where the target was unavailable. Sure, Sam was already with Leah when he imprinted on Emily, but he was under the spell of the freaky wolf magic, so it didn't matter. He never had a choice. The target is _not _affected by the mystical experience of imprinting, so they do have a choice. It would be too heartbreaking for the imprinter if the imprintee didn't want them, so it wouldn't work on a target whose heart was already taken. It must be part of the magic"

Carlisle stroked his chin thoughtfully. "That seems like a valid theory, Bella."

"Freaky wolf magic," Jacob muttered.

Isabella smiled sweetly at him. "I'm not saying it isn't _good_ freaky wolf magic," she teased him gently.

I considered Isabella's theory and her story, and I had to admit, it did make sense. As I understood it, imprinting was not some ancient custom meant to enslave women by binding them against their will for the greater good of the pack. Rather, it was the burden of the wolf to do everything within his (for I knew of only one female wolf, and she had not imprinted) power to cause his imprint to fall in love with him. The phenomenon would surely have torn entire packs apart if the wolves were routinely rejected by their imprints. It would only be reasonable that the magic itself would take effect only if there was a possibility of the imprint being receptive to the wolf's advances.

I realized with a heaviness in my chest that Jacob had been meant to imprint on Bella, and that it was her love for Edward (or Emmett) which had prevented him from doing so. So she had never been meant for me at all. Indeed, it was impossible to deny that Isabella was exceedingly happy with Jacob. She was confident and composed, and he moved around her as if she were his own personal sun, complementing everything she said or did with his presence and completing her. If I had not seen with my own eyes that she could be happy with Edward as well, I would never have believed that she could have existed without Jacob.

Still, I had to be certain.

"Isabella, are you happy?"

She looked at me as if I had just asked her if the sky was blue, or if water was wet. "Of course I'm happy," she told me. "I was happy with Edward once, a long time ago. But with Edward, he was kind enough to me, and he was very protective of me, but there was always that chance that he might attack me. I would never be able to stay human and be with him, not on any kind of ongoing basis. Things are different with Jake. It's as easy as breathing with him."

I observed the easy way Jacob held her hand and kissed the top of her head. As desperately as I wished it were me standing behind her and caressing her skin, I knew that to do so would be to do battle with the monster within me. Perhaps it was better this way. Isabella would be able to live out a normal, human life, which was all I had ever truly wanted for her. Although this place was far from what I'd set out to find, there was room for me with these Cullens, and I would be able to see Isabella live her life and be happy, even if I would be witnessing it from afar.

This place presented tempting possibilities for me.

Could I find a way to live without her? She would never be mine, and she would die one day, hopefully far into the future. But if I left, I would never be able to return here.

I would need to consider the matter further. I did not want to raise my family's hopes only to change my mind and move on anyway.

"So Edward, what exactly is the objective you spoke of before?" Jacob interrupted my thoughts. _Don't you think it's time you got back to it? _ He silently added the real reason for his question.

I hesitated. Could I—should I—tell Isabella the truth? She had been able to achieve such a healthy, normal, happy life here, and that was due in part to her steadfast belief in Edward's cruel and untrue words to her. _You're not good for me_, he'd told her, and she had believed him so easily. If I contradicted these words now, which she had needed to believe in order to heal, I might do untold amounts of danger to her life. For the first time, when the monster within me spoke, it was not out of a desire for blood. _If you create enough doubt in the beliefs she's held, you might be able to win her back, _it whispered.

But I couldn't do that. I had vowed not to separate any Bella, in any universe, from anything which brought her happiness. Still, I remembered what Bella had told me at the start of this conversation. She was offended by my dishonesty to her and she wanted me, _for once, _to tell her the truth. Lying was not an option either.

I was trapped. No matter what I said, I would hurt Isabella Black. I looked away from Jacob and into her cool, uncaring brown eyes and thought desperately of how to answer.


	19. Honesty

**Hi everyone, thanks again for all your support! I know long author's notes can be tiresome, but I'm going to be self-indulgent for just a minute here and tell you all a few of quick things:**

**Most of this story is being written on the fly. I know huge chunks of what will happen later, but I'm **_**far **_**from knowing everything that's coming. Also, with two exceptions ("Living Death" and "Imprinting,") I name the chapters only after they're completely written. **

**Please let me assure everyone that there DEFINITELY is a "final scenario" and I'm very, very certain of how it will go and what it will entail.**

**I feel pretty certain now that 100 chapters was a huge overestimation, though I'm fairly sure the story is less than half finished at this point.**

**I know I'm being really mean to Edward – I'm sorry to say, he has an even worse heartbreak coming, but I'm not sure yet how soon it will be. I'm happy to say though, it doesn't end there for him!**

**I didn't realize how many Jacob haters there were out there. I apologize in advance, because there will be lots more Jacob. I promised myself this was going to be a story about Edward and Bella, and so it is, but Jacob has lots to do with future chapters as well. Including the terrible thing I alluded to in my last point.**

**I can't say much else about what evil, evil things I have planned right now, but there's a plot twist or two coming eventually! **

**Your comments are really super awesome, and every now and again, one of them inspires me to do something a little different than I'd originally intended. =) You should see me squeal when I read them! Seriously! I'm so happy that other people are enjoying this story; I truly never imagined that anyone would. **

**As always, I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Nineteen – Honesty

I had to give her an answer, but there wasn't one that I could, in good conscience, provide to her. It would be kinder to deceive today than to let her find out that her entire life had been based upon a lie. She need never learn the truth. But the truth was what I owed to her. I had hesitated for far too long. Isabella was growing agitated.

"I am trying to correct a terrible wrong that I perpetrated," I finally said noncommittally.

"What wrong was that?" Jacob pressed me. Isabella's stray was really beginning to irritate me.

"Don't you have a car to chase?" I snapped without thinking.

Isabella's face seethed with rage. I should have thought twice before I insulted her companion, but I couldn't take back what I'd said now. I shrank back in my seat, preparing myself for the onslaught of anger that I was about to receive.

"What do you have against Jake?" she shouted. "What do you care what he is or why he imprinted on me? From the moment I walked in here, you started interrogating me about my relationship with my husband. Why should it matter to you? You were so desperate to get far, far away from me that you ran off and took your whole family with you so you'd never have to accidentally see me again. And I guess that wasn't even quite far enough away from me for you, seeing as you had to go and _die_ just to make really, really sure you never had to see me. I'm sorry that I was so offensive to you, Edward, I truly am, but don't take it out on Jake. He's not a bad person just because he doesn't think I'm the vilest slime on the face of the planet!"

And now we had come to the truth of the matter.

Going on believing that Edward hadn't wanted her was not helping Isabella. She had been able to move past his rejection and build a happy life for herself, but she still felt the sting of his words. No matter how loved and accepted she felt with Jacob Black, there would always be a part of Isabella who believed that someone had found her so offensive that he had chosen to die rather than be with her.

I had done this to her.

Still, was it right to tell her the truth now? Even if he had been disposed to do so, Jacob would never abandon her as Edward had, bound to her as he was by "freaky wolf magic," as she'd called it.

I needed time to consider my answer and its ramifications. I was learning the value of a single choice. What I said next could irrevocably shape Isabella's future. I needed time, but it had run out.

"He's jealous." Jacob sneered, delighting in taunting me with the fact that he had won what I so desperately sought. Once again, he said exactly the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time.

It wasn't me to whom Isabella looked for confirmation, but Jasper, who had been standing in the doorway listening to much of the conversation. He hadn't reentered the room because of the high level of negative emotions running through here. He winced and retreated out of the house, unwilling to get involved in such a heated dispute.

"I guess I have my answer," Isabella muttered.

"So let me see if I understand," Jacob spoke up again. I really wished he would stop talking, but the likelihood of that happened seemed to be roughly equivalent to the chance that he might suddenly sprout a horn and begin shifting into a unicorn instead of a wolf. "You—well, not you _specifically_, but the Edward Cullen who was indigenous to this timeline—took off and left Bella because you didn't want her anymore. Something happened in your own timeline that sent you gallivanting around, poking your nose where it doesn't belong, then you saw Bella and realized what you'd given up and now you're upset about it?"

"No, I'm afraid you don't understand at all. When Edward told Isabella that he no longer wanted her, he lied."

"What? Why would he lie about something like that?" Isabella's voice had raised to a shrill screech that was unbecoming, even from her.

"He believed it was the only way to keep you safe. The fact is, your life had been placed in peril twice at the hands of vampires. Vampires, Isabella." I realized that I was scolding her and tried to soften my tone. "It wasn't precisely the sort of run-of-the-mill dangers that the average person encounters. You would never have met James if it hadn't been for Edward. Jasper would never have been in close proximity of your blood. You would have just gone about your life encountering normal, _human_ problems that had normal, human solutions. If he'd told you that it was for your own good though, you would have argued. You would have never let him leave. Edward believed that every moment he spent near you was bringing you closer to death, and he decided that he would rather tear his own heart out and fling it into the sea than continue to place your life at risk. So that is what he did."

Isabella closed her eyes again. "Is that what _you_ did?"

"Yes," I told her truthfully.

"But you didn't die."

What path was her logic taking? Why couldn't I just see into her mind for ten seconds? I tried not to sound condescending as I answered. "Obviously not." I didn't believe I had succeeded.

"So something was different between you and him. How can you be sure that's what _he_ did?"

Incredible. She still believed that her own Edward hadn't wanted her. Even as I sat here, professing my own unending love to her, she believed the lie over the truth.

"Isabella, do you know why he died?"

In response, Isabella clamped her eyes shut even tighter, as if trying to erase her memory.

"He died because he believed that _you_ were dead. He never truly planned to continue his own life once yours ended. Nothing mattered anymore, except that you existed. Once you stopped existing, or rather, once he _believed_ that you stopped existing, the exception was gone, and nothing mattered."

"I see," she said, opening her eyes once more. She leaned forward to carefully examine my face for signs of deception. Finally, she fell backward onto the couch again and let out her breath with a _whoosh_ sound. "And you're here because?"

"Because in my own timeline, Bella _did_ die. It wasn't a miscommunication, as it was here. You could say it was sort of the opposite effect. Here, Edward was told that you died and went to die himself, not knowing that you still lived. For me, you actually did die, but I lived on."

Jacob leapt over the couch and over Isabella in a single, swift motion. "You're lying! If you loved her so much that you couldn't stand to go on without her, why didn't you die too? Why are you still here? I can arrange to change that for you." He was shaking as he spoke, and I feared that he might phase and injure Isabella. I leapt over the back of my own chair to lure him further away from her.

"Carlisle promised that he would be able to make… easier arrangements to end my life than the path I had intended to follow. He convinced me to wait. If it had taken much longer, I would have disregarded him and ended my life anyway, but I did want the chance to do so without placing my family at risk by drawing the attention of the Volturi. Meanwhile, my family was creating this device for me. They only needed me to wait long enough for them to finish."

"To do _what,_ Edward?" Isabella had had enough. "I'm tired of this! This is how you always were, you never gave me the full answers to anything. You were always keeping secrets from me, always hiding things. 'oh, I didn't shove you out of the way of that car,' 'mind reader, what are you talking about?' 'James is a tracker, it doesn't matter that you have no freaking _clue_ what that means, just smile and nod and do what I tell you!' Now I find out you were doing exactly the same thing when you told me that you didn't want me, and here you are doing it again! 'My family created this device, I have an objective, I'm trying to put something right.' _Give me some answers, Edward!_ You owe me that much!"

She had a point. I mentally added "failed to treat Bella like an equal" to the list I'd been tabulating of terrible mistakes I'd made, somewhere between "let Bella die" and "insulted the wolf."

"To find a universe where you lived, and where you do not have a companion already who makes you happy, and to hope that you will give me a chance once I find that universe."

I could actually taste the silence in the room.

"Well you haven't found her, so maybe you should move along." Jacob spoke with finality.

"Yes. I believe I should." I rose and looked to Carlisle, preparing to say goodbye.

"Edward, wait," Isabella spoke up. I froze involuntarily, recalling my earlier wish that I had listened when Bella told me to wait.

_What? She can't! She can't choose him! She can't just forgive him and take him back after all this time, after all we've been through. I'll kill him myself!_ Jacob was shaking again, and I could see in his mind how he planned to tear me apart, the exact order in which he planned to separate my limbs and my head from my body.

I spoke too quietly and too rapidly for Isabella's human ears. "I will not take her from you. You have my word. But she will not forgive you if you do what you're planning."

Jacob phased into his now-familiar wolf form, but he hesitated, considering my words. In his mind, he saw Isabella crying over my corpse. She was his imprint. He couldn't bring her pain. For him, it was as impossible as walking upside-down or disobeying an Alpha order. He considered the ramifications of what it would mean if I did take her from him. _If that's what will make her happy, I can't deny her that_, he thought sadly. _I literally can't._ I had never felt sorry for Jacob Black before now. If the woman he loved more than he loved the air he breathed would choose to leave him, he wouldn't even be capable of fighting for her, if the fight would make her unhappy. In his frustration, he ran out of the house and into the night.

"He'll be back," I assured Isabella. Her relief was evident.

"I just wanted to thank you for telling me the truth. I may need to go back to therapy for awhile to figure this out, but I'm glad I know what really happened. Please don't misunderstand though, my life is here, with Jake."

"I know, Isabella."

"Bella," she told me with a tiny smile.

"Bella," I agreed.

"Do you think he ran home? Should I just drive myself?" She knew that I was privy to Jacob's thoughts and would be able to give her an answer. I listened for his mind and suppressed an uproarious laugh.

"No, I think you should wait a few moments," I told her.

Bella eyed me suspiciously. "You're keeping secrets again," she accused me.

"Only for a few moments. It will be worth it." I grinned, and it seemed that I could still dazzle her slightly. She did not protest further, in any case.

I took the opportunity to bid my parents goodbye. As tempting as it was to linger here where I could fall so easily into life with my family, I could not give up yet on my quest. They were understandably saddened, but neither Carlisle nor Esme tried to talk me out of my decision.

"Will you at least wait until your brothers and sisters are back?" Esme asked.

"They're all on their way back now," I answered, no longer able to contain my hysterics at the scene outside of which I alone was aware.

The sound of a struggle involving a very large dog could now be heard quite clearly to the vampires in the room. Esme and Carlisle jumped slightly, concerned about their son-in-law. Still I stood, doubled over in laughter, not even attempting to fight it any longer. The sound was moving closer, a great deal of grunting and snorting. At last, Bella was able to hear it, and she cried out in alarm.

"Everything is fine," I managed between guffaws.

Before she had time to react, Alice danced into the room with Jasper on her heels. Jasper was doing his best to maintain enough of a level of seriousness for Alice to keep a straight face. He faltered slightly as he drew nearer to me, and Alice's face broke into a huge grin. He quickly resumed his control, and my laughter subsided as I felt the effect.

Behind them came Jacob, still in his wolf form, followed by Emmett and Rosalie. Jacob was wearing a huge muzzle attached to a short leash that Rosalie was holding. "We took your dog for a walk," she deadpanned at Bella.

Jacob was snorting and sniveling, straining against the muzzle, but unable to let out any louder noises due to the restraining effect it had on his jaw. I was impressed that my siblings had been able to find or create a muzzle of that size, let alone tackle him for long enough to force it onto his snout. If he had been able to phase back into human form, it would have slid off easily. He was far too agitated to be able to shift back though, surrounded by vampires and being humiliated in this way.

For a moment, Bella looked disapproving and upset. As Jacob continued to thrash around, each member of my family in turn jumping just slightly out of his reach, Bella began to laugh. He looked up at her and his mood instantly transformed. Overjoyed at the sound of her laughter, Jacob continued to make lunges and swipes at my brothers, but he did so now playfully, exaggerating his motions and pretending to struggle far more than he actually was. The more she laughed, the more content he was to continue playing this game.

Truly, he would do anything to make her happy.

Unable to resist, and knowing that I would likely never get another chance like this, I crossed the living room to get closer to where Jacob was leaping at Jasper and Emmett. I patted him on the head. "Good boy," I told him.

Alice moved quickly to catch Bella before she fell to the ground, clutching her sides, tears streaming down her face. My sister lowered her gently to the carpet.

While Bella was distracted, I leaned in closer to Jacob. "Thank you for taking care of her," I whispered into his large floppy ear.

_She'll always be safe with me, _he told me sincerely.

I hugged each of my brothers and sisters in turn, including Rosalie, who still felt responsible for Edward's death. "It wasn't your fault," I told her.

_Maybe. Maybe not._

"I don't want to drag out this goodbye any longer. I know this is terribly difficult for all of you, but I have many more places to visit."

Bella scrambled up from the floor, hitting her elbow on the coffee table. I winced at the cracking sound it made, but she paid it no mind. She rushed to embrace me, and I found myself no longer tempted to drink her blood. The flames still licked at the back of my throat, but I had them under control.

"Goodbye Edward," she said sadly.

I couldn't bring myself to say goodbye to her this time. It seemed so final, and even though this was the last time I would see _this_ Bella, there would be many more left to greet. "Have a good life Bella," I told her instead. I may have been mistaken, but she seemed to understand.

With one final look at the family who had suffered the fate with which I had nearly cursed my own family, I began the trek back to the clearing. I had seen so many things, learned so many possibilities. Still, my journey, I was sure, was just beginning.


	20. Unusual Behavior

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Twenty – Unusual Behavior

The pain of shifting worlds, while still as pronounced as ever, was beginning to mean less and less now. Once I finished shifting, I was just going to find some other place that would bring me a different sort of pain. That agony was even more difficult to bear than this type. The rending of flesh and the feeling as if my body was being ripped to shreds from the inside out would end, but I had no evidence that these horrors I faced in each new universe would ever cease. Bella had been happy in each place I'd found her, this much pleased me. But was it so impossible that I could have, somewhere, allowed her to keep her soul while staying with me? I did not care for her any less or love her any differently if her flesh was cold and hard, but to think that each Edward was unable to keep her alive for even three more short years was unendurable.

I could see now that I had been a fool not to change her; I would be unable to tolerate her loss no matter when it occurred. I would spend the rest of my endless existence mulling over each and every moment that I could have changed her, kept her with me for all time, and chose not to do so. Yes, even worse than the realization that Edward had not been able to allow her to retain her humanity was my new awareness that, even if I found a Bella who was still human, I would not keep her that way and allow her to pass away at the end of the life she should have led without me. I had been arguing semantics all this time. The life Bella should have led without me. I couldn't prevent myself from snorting aloud. As if that were even possible. It didn't matter what I thought Bella's life should have been. It mattered only that my presence in her life _did_ happen. I could never take it back, and I knew now that I should never have wanted to. Was it a sin that I should desire to turn her into a demon like myself? Probably. But it was what she had wanted. Why should I deny her that? Why should I alone be granted the power to choose her path for her?

I was not God. Moreover, I had no evidence that God existed. What difference did it make if I had a soul, if _she_ had a soul, if I knew not what significance a soul had at the end of days? Her soul was not mine to protect or do to with as I pleased. If she wished to thrust it into the abyss in order to remain with me and live out her life as _she_ believed it should be, why did I stand in her way?

I should have allowed her to become one of us when she had first requested it. When she had requested it again. And again. And again. _It must always be her decision_, I had once decided with regard to her choice to spend time with me. Why should the choice of how to spend her existence and whether to cash in her soul for this eternal night not be hers as well?

The world shifted into focus, and I realized that the physical torment had ended. I stood in the clearing once again. It was still nighttime, as it had been when I'd left the last place. I started to set off in the direction of my family's home, but on impulse, I decided instead to visit Chief Swan's house. I would not creep in and frighten Charlie again, I vowed. I only wanted to know if she was human here. It would give me some small amount of forewarning of what to expect.

I reached her house, excitement building as I began to detect her scent wafting toward me. It was everywhere, overpowering me, overwhelming me, tempting me in ways long forgotten to me. The monster was kept at bay once more. I paused, considering what to do next. I could go back to visit with my family and determine what I was facing here. Did I really have the patience right now for another round of Alice's fretting that her visions were gone and Rosalie's obnoxious, self-centered thoughts? It would be so easy to climb into her window, which would certainly not have a filing cabinet underneath. I wouldn't need to stay all night. If I could just get a glimpse of her for a moment, that might give me the strength to face my family…

Before I'd even made the decision, I found myself standing in her room, shutting the window quietly behind me. She was fast asleep, dreaming of something that made her smile. I watched, fascinated, as my angel's breathing caused her chest to rise and fall, her pulse visible in the smooth lines of her neck.

This was wrong, I knew. She was not _my _angel.

Or was she? I had no proof yet that she was not. Could this be the Bella who would be mine?

I should leave. I had wanted to see her, to reassure myself that she was alive and safe, and now I had done so. I turned and reached once again for the window, my resolve faltering as I heard her draw a sharp intake of breath.

"Stay," she murmured in her sleep.

Was that for me? Was my love beckoning me to remain with her? I couldn't allow myself to hope too much. For all I knew, she could be dreaming of Jacob. Or Emmett, I thought bitterly. For that matter, how did I know she wasn't seeing Jasper? Or Mike Newton? That would be my luck. I continued to stand, hands poised inches from the windowsill, staring at Bella's sleeping figure and awaiting a sign.

"Edward," she sighed.

That certainly sounded like a sign to me.

I stepped back from the window and considered whether to sit beside Bella or not. She'd said my name, of course, but that certainly wasn't solid evidence that she was accustomed to me lying beside her while she slept as I had done so long ago with my own Bella.

My own Bella. _This cannot be my Bella,_ I realized sadly, snapping myself back to reality. She was calling for Edward, and she was happy. Clearly, she was referring, not to me, but to the Edward Cullen she had seen every day for the four most recent years of her life.

_Still_, the monster taunted me, once again referring not to her blood but to her existence, _I don't see him around anywhere, do you?_

"No," I answered aloud, "I certainly do not."

I sat at the foot of her bed, not daring to get any closer.

"That's better," Bella mumbled from her slumber.

Where was he, anyway? Why was he not here with her at this moment? What could possibly be so important that he would miss even an instant of her precious life? Did he not realize how fortunate he was? He had Bella. She was everything, and he wasn't even here! I had half a mind to leave this instant and grab him by the throat, demanding answers.

Bella stirred in her sleep, tossing from her back to her side. I moved slightly out of the way so that she would not kick me while she turned. My argument with Edward could wait until morning. For tonight, I would stay here with Bella while she slept and remember a time when things had been perfect.

I could not bring myself to leave. Even as the sun began to rise and I knew she would awaken soon, I was unable to drag myself away from her side. Would it really hurt anything if she saw me, believing that I was her own Edward? I had no specific reason to speak to the Cullens here. I could spend a day or two with her, just until her own Edward returned from wherever he was, and slip away without explanation. Edward would just think that she was overstressed and had gotten confused. He would treat her with extra concern for a few weeks, but there was nothing wrong with that. She deserved to be treated with concern.

The monster was winning.

Bella was beginning to stretch, and I knew it would be only moments before her eyes opened. I began to panic. What if it was not customary for this Edward to stay in her room with her while she slept? What if that was the reason he was not here? I had made a conscious decision years ago to begin watching her while she slept, hadn't I? Maybe he had decided not to do so. It was a touch over-the-top, after all.

I managed to slip out of the window just as her eyelids fluttered open. She saw what must have looked like a blur, as if something were moving, but if she was not accustomed to Edward spending time in her room, she would have assumed it was a trick of the light or of her still-groggy mind. Still, I could not shake my own annoyance at the fact that Edward had not yet arrived. I knew that he needed to hunt occasionally, but it had always been exceedingly difficult for me to tear myself away from her for long enough. I had always returned before the night was over. He couldn't have left her and never returned – she had been so happy the night before, and had spoken of him in her sleep.

I could get the answers from my family's home, just a few minutes away. _But Bella is in that house, right in front of you._ I didn't bother to even try to argue with the monster. He had a point. Bella _was_ in that house, right in front of me.

I approached the door and knocked. I heard Bella bound clumsily to the door. Chief Swan's cruiser was already gone; he had left for work an hour before Bella had woken up. She opened the door, and for the smallest fraction of an instant, her face lit up. She quickly composed herself. "Edward, this is a surprise," she said coolly. Her face was passive, but her arms were crossed, gripping her sides as if she thought she might burst. Her eyes, as usual, revealed everything. She was pleased to see me, and more importantly, she loved me.

_Him_, I reminded myself. _She loves Edward._

_ But I am Edward,_ the monster argued.

"Hello Bella," I tried to make my voice as gentle and soothing as possible. I tilted my head downward so that I was looking at her from beneath my eyelashes.

She was dazzled.

Bella's face went blank for a few seconds, then she shook her head from side to side as if waking herself up. Her scent wafted from her hair as her head moved, flooding my senses with the most simultaneously gorgeous and delicious aroma I would ever know.

"Um," she began, "does this mean you're talking to me again this week?" Despite herself, there was an edge of irritation to her voice.

"This week?" I cursed myself for not having visited the Cullens first. Surely Edward would know what she was talking about. Had they gotten into a fight? Was he stubbornly not speaking to her, waiting for her to speak first? This seemed childish, and more importantly, impossible. I would never have been able to stay away from her for an entire week over something so trivial as a disagreement, even if the disagreement had been with regard to her immortal soul.

Bella made a noise somewhere between a snort and a sigh. "Come in then, I guess." She stood to one side and I entered. I heard her inhale deeply, taking in the sweet scent given off by my kind. She stood just out of my reach, rearranging her arms from their crossed position. She moved her hands to her hips, then apparently decided better of that posture and let them hang at her sides. She reached up with one hand and scratched her head before finally crossing her arms again awkwardly.

"So um, can I… get you anything?"

I laughed softly, trying to make the sound seem musical to her ears. "No, I don't think so," I told her. What does one offer a vampire guest, anyway?

"Okay," she replied agreeably. "Um, I'm really sorry Edward, I wasn't expecting you. I need to take a shower and—"

"Oh, I'm so sorry Bella, how inconsiderate of me," I interrupted her. "I can come back another time."

"No, no, I was just hoping you wouldn't mind waiting for about 20 minutes. There's probably something on TV, and you can help yourself to anything in the kitchen while I'm gone. Charlie won't mind either," she added as an afterthought.

This was the second time she had tried to offer me human food. I began to wonder vaguely about her sanity. Bella in the last universe I'd visited had needed therapy to overcome the issues that Edward had caused her…

"Thank you Bella, but I'm quite all right, really. I don't mind waiting," I paused, desperately wanting more detailed information about why this Bella was so nervous around me and behaved in such a strikingly scatterbrained manner. She reminded me a bit of Bella's mother Renee. "Although, it was very rude of me to come unannounced. Why don't I come back in say, two hours? Would that be all right with you?" That would give me enough time, I hoped, to visit my family and find out what the situation was between Edward and Bella. Of course, it might be him keeping the date with her… That was a chance I would just have to take. If this Bella needed some type of extra care, I couldn't take the risk of traipsing around town without knowing about it. I tried to dazzle her again, just a little, hoping she would agree.

Apparently, I'd dazzled her quite a lot. Her face went blank again, and once more she quite literally shook herself back out of it. "I'm sorry," she said sheepishly. "What did you say?"

"Why don't I come back and pick you up in two hours?" I repeated myself patiently. This time, I made sure not to distract her.

Bella got a faraway look in her eyes for a moment, making me wonder once more whether something was wrong with her. I didn't really care if Bella ate crayons and spoke backward though. She was still Bella.

"Two hours. That sounds good." She eyed me suspiciously. "You'll be here, right?"

"As long as you want me to be."

"I do!" she said enthusiastically, nearly jumping up and down as she spoke. "I mean," she looked momentarily horrified. "I mean, I do," she said, more calmly this time.

"Then I will be here in two hours," I assured her.

"Actually… Maybe three hours? That way I'll have time to make something for Charlie to eat later too, if you don't mind?" Of course she would be thinking of her father's needs. Always so selfless.

"Three hours then," I agreed. "I'll show myself out."

I left, shutting the door gently behind me. I lingered on Bella's doorstep for a moment and heard her dash upstairs. I could have sworn that I heard her squeal in delight.

With a sigh, I started back toward my family's house. Standing around pondering would not help me to understand why Bella was behaving so strangely. I hoped that visiting my counterpart would shed some light on the situation, though I realized regretfully, I may not see this eccentric Bella again. Once he learned that I'd made a date with her, he would surely want to keep it himself.


	21. Possibilities

**I'm going to be making a few small edits to earlier chapters here and there. I was reading back through everything and I noticed an inconsistency that drove me insane. Apparently, I decided in the 2****nd**** chapter that it was winter, without considering the implication that I needed Bella to be home from college if she was going to school. Whoops. For the record, when I decided later that it was early summer, **_**that**_** was accurate for the purposes of this story. I'm betting I'll find some other things too. I shouldn't need to change anything major that would require anyone to go back and reread anything, but if for some reason some major change comes up, I'll let you know in the author's notes.**

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Twenty One – Possibilities

I did admire this universe's Edward for one reason: He had managed to keep Bella human. How he had achieved this, I couldn't begin to guess. Including my own universe, I had been to five different worlds. This was the first I had visited where Bella seemed to be Edward's mate and was still a human. All the same, her humanity seemed to come at a price in this place. I kept going over Bella's odd behavior with me. She'd known precisely who I was, or at least, who I seemed to be, but she had not handled herself in the easy, blissful way I'd grown to expect. She seemed to be nearly crawling out of her own skin and I wasn't sure that her thinking patterns were clear. Offering me human food? Thinking that I wouldn't want to wait for her to get dressed, or worse, that I wouldn't keep my word and show up as planned? Perhaps when Edward left her after her 18th birthday, the effects on this Bella had been more permanent. But what could have changed? Maybe she had never fallen in love with Jacob Black. He had been the one to heal her heart and hold her together during my absence. I shuddered slightly to imagine how Bella would have turned out without his help. This didn't seem to be a completely inconceivable theory.

I arrived at my family's house and paused only briefly to check who was inside. Everyone seemed to be home, except for Carlisle, who would be working at the hospital at this hour. Once I detected Edward's mind inside, there was little point in lingering further. He would notice me and inform everyone of my presence momentarily. I knocked twice to announce my presence, then entered.

The scene was more or less as I expected. Alice was distraught that she hadn't seen me. Rosalie fretted over whether she should call Carlisle, ultimately deciding to do so. I waited for the larger portion of my explanation until he could arrive. Esme was just delighted that I was all right, though confused about what had brought me here. Jasper was wary of the constant state of turmoil of my emotions. Emmett, upon determining that I was not a threat to any of his loved ones, invited me to join him in playing his latest video game, a rather mindless one where legions of opponents were massacred. I gladly accepted his invitation. _We're not going player versus player though. You always cheat!_

Edward was wary of my presence and trying to pick out an explanation from my thoughts. I blocked him, having learned how to do so fairly effectively by now. Never having needed to block his own thoughts, Edward wasn't quite as successful. His thoughts drifted frequently to Bella, then he would become aware that I was listening and try to block them again. He understood the general technique from observing what his family members had done over the years, and he struggled to duplicate their efforts. _How do they manage to do this so often…_ His pondering was not meant for me, so I ignored it.

Playing in co-operative mode with Emmett was fun, I had to admit. He would choose his targets and I picked them out of his mind, going for other targets instead. Between the advantages that my gifts offered and our superior reflexes, we were able to mow through several levels without even being touched. When Carlisle arrived and we had to stop playing, Emmett was slightly perturbed.

"Edward, you've got to play with me sometimes. It works really well! That's further than I usually get with Jasper. If you'd just get your head back where it belongs and stop having it wrapped around that girl…"

Edward did not reply with words , but his low hiss was response enough to quiet Emmett.

Carlisle greeted me warmly, inviting me to sit at the head of the table to discuss my presence. Recalling how this arrangement had a tendency to result in broken tables, I politely asked that we have the conversation in a less formal setting instead. He was slightly confused, but not at all put off by my request. I began my explanation, as always, with the fact that I was from a different universe and my family had created a device to enable me to travel from one world to another. I stopped there, waiting for Alice's now-customary query of why Bella was not accompanying me on this journey.

The question never came.

I looked expectantly at Alice, trying to silently prompt her for the next question so that I could continue. I wasn't sure why this seemed so vital to me; naturally, I could have continued to explain without her question. By now though, I was used to carrying out this conversation in a specific manner. Things changed from one universe to the next, certainly, and my explanation from this point forward brought out varying degrees of emotion in different members of the family. One thing that had been constant in every universe, excepting the one where Edward was dead, was that Alice had inquired as to the whereabouts of my mate. I supposed that I clung to this one piece of consistency between worlds, and in the absence of this small comfort, I was at a loss.

Alice began to shift uncomfortably on the couch. _Why is he looking at me like that? Is he waiting for me to tell him something? I already told him my visions don't seem work right with him. Of course, they don't work right with the other Edward anyway, so why should he be any different? _Jasper sensed her distress and a small wave of calm settled over the room. It was truly for the best that he had done so; the silence was beginning to make everyone anxious.

With the aid of the sudden tranquility I was feeling, I was able to compose myself enough to continue speaking. "I'm sorry Alice," I began, "it's just that ordinarily, at this point, you always ask the same question. I'm afraid I've grown to expect it a bit more than I should." I was mildly embarrassed by my rudeness.

My sister relaxed at hearing this explanation for the strange look I'd given her. "Oh, okay. What was I supposed to ask you? Umm… Your clothes look all right. Maybe you should take a shower though, your hair has a lot of dirt in it."

I considered that for a moment. It had been more than a week since I'd showered. Vampires didn't have human bodily fluids that contributed to odors, but dirt and grime accumulated on me at the normal rate. I probably did need to wash up. Nevertheless, it was odd to me that Alice still didn't ask about Bella, even after knowing that I'd been waiting for a specific reaction from her.

"Bella?" Edward responded to my thoughts out loud, aghast.

Rosalie made an exaggerated scoffing sound and started to get up to leave the room. Emmett grasped her hand and whispered for her to stay a few more minutes. She reluctantly complied, but now she was glaring at me openly. Alice looked nervous, gripping Jasper's arm tightly.

"What does Bella have to do with this?" Carlisle asked, imploring me to continue my story.

I gaped at him, not comprehending. "Bella has everything to do with this," I said simply. When I did not immediately offer additional information, Esme spoke up.

"I'm not sure that we're all on the same page, dear. Our Edward has been very preoccupied with Bella for a long time. Alice keeps fighting with him, all of the time. His indecision has been giving her headaches, making his future difficult to see clearly. He finally did make a decision some years ago to stay away from Bella, but Alice went against his wishes and befriended Bella herself. This made it very difficult for Edward to go through with his plans of leaving Forks. We're still here, and Edward struggles every day with trying to stay away from Bella."

"I slip up sometimes," Edward confessed. "It is difficult to stay away, much more difficult than I'd imagined it would be. But as long as Alice spends time with Bella, I know that she will remain safe."

I blinked several times. "So Bella is not your… You and she are not…" I tried to think of a way to phrase the question that wouldn't upset Edward, but I failed. I finally settled on "You are not in love with her?"

Seven pairs of vampire eyes stared at my counterpart. At last, he sighed. "Of course I'm in love with her. She cannot ever feel the same about me. How could she? I'm a monster. A heartless, unthinking, bloodthirsty demon, and there can be no future for the two of us."

"I don't understand," I admitted.

"Neither do I," Alice's voice was sharp when she spoke, and her irritation was directed squarely at Edward. "You love her. I can tell that she loves you too. Sometimes in my visions, I can see the two of you happy together. Then you change your mind and she's back to being nervous and you're back to moping around. Why do you do this to the both of you? You're my brother and I love you. Bella's my friend and I love her. I hate to see either one of you upset when the answer is so easy!"

Edward ripped apart one of Esme's pillows in his fury. I was silently glad that I'd insisted on having this conversation in the living room. A pillow would be far easier to replace than a table. "What would you have me do, Alice? I could never keep from her what I am, what _we_ are if we were together! Would you have me break our highest law? Put our entire family in danger? Put _Bella_ in danger, all because you think it _could_ all work out based on some visions you get when I am at my weakest? It's not an option!"

Slowly, the pieces were beginning to come together. Edward had spent the last 4 years trying, with mixed success, to stay away from Bella. It went without saying that he was very much in love with her, but he still believed, as I once had, that she would never be able to return his feelings. Was he blind? She was plainly in love with him, that much had been apparent. It dawned on me that her unusual behavior was not the result of any damage to her mental state, but due to her nervousness at being in my presence. She was in love with Edward, and was uncertain as to how to behave in front of him to try to attract his affections in return. She had offered me human food because she had no reason to believe that Edward was anything other than a human. Her remarks about speaking to her this week were not dissimilar from how she had reacted when I had begun to talk to her, I realized. I was relieved that she seemed to be in perfect health.

Perfect health… "Alice, how were you able to deal with Bella's condition a few years ago?"

"Oh, you knew about that? Bella considers me to be her best friend. It's not easy to convince her that I'm not suffering from an eating disorder. Sometimes I have to eat human food to placate her," Alice wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Anyway, when I got the vision about her diagnosis, I collaborated with the family on what to tell her. Edward was beside himself, of course, and didn't offer a lot of contributions, but between the rest of us, we decided to research Bella's family tree to see if she had a history of that kind of problem. Sure enough, it was genetic in her case. I told her that I'd recently gotten really excited about genealogy and insisted that she let me research her family. She protested, but I pouted a lot about how I couldn't research my _own_ family because I was adopted and didn't know anything about them. She finally agreed, then we "found" her relatives and I convinced her that she should get screened, just in case. It was caught so early that she didn't even suffer any long-term effects!" Alice said proudly.

"No long-term effects? So she is physically able to have children?" Alice must have been able to catch the problem far earlier here. That meant that she was able to see Bella's future more clearly. Either Bella's relationship with Jacob Black had never progressed here as it had in other worlds, or Jacob had never phased into a wolf at all. Since a family of vampires lived very near to the Quileute reservation, I surmised that it must be the former.

"Of course!" Alice said. "Not that it matters, because eventually Edward is going to come to his senses and be with her, and they won't be able to have children anyway."

"Actually," I began slowly, "it matters a great deal."

Carlisle made no effort to conceal his surprise. "Have you learned something in your travels?"

"Yes," I cast a wary glance at Edward, who was busy shredding the remaining pieces of the pillow into smaller squares. I hoped that he would limit his destruction to that one object. "In the first universe I visited, Bella and Edward had gotten married. She gave birth to his child…" the family gasped in unison, "but she had to be turned because it was, shall we say, a difficult pregnancy. The child is half vampire and was destroying her body without realizing it."

Edward did not look up. His mind was spinning so much that I could not get a clear lock on any individual thought. He was shredding the pillow more rapidly than before, tearing each small square into even smaller strips with precision. It was impossible to recognize by now that these scraps had once been a pillow.

"See, Edward? Everything would be just fine if you'd get your head out of your…" Emmett was interrupted by Rosalie.

"A child! We could have a child! A real child! Edward, you have to…"

"And kill her in the process?" Edward leapt up and shoved the coffee table over, shattering some of the small trinkets atop it. Was there any room in the house that I could have these conversations without breaking Esme's possessions?

"She wouldn't be dead, she'd just be different, like us," Alice said musically.

"Edward," I spoke a bit louder so that my voice could be heard over Edward's efforts at turning a vase he'd destroyed into dust, "I once thought as you do. I do not say this lightly, because there are risks. A great deal of risks, to be frank. But it is what Bella wants. She wants you. She loves you. Would you deny her a chance at true happiness because you feel that you know what's best for her better than she herself does?"

"She doesn't have all the facts," Edward snarled.

"She did in my universe, as well as in every other universe I've visited."

"And how did that turn out for her? If your love for one another was so great, why are you traipsing through worlds without her at your side?" Edward demanded.

It would be extremely difficult to convince Edward, once he knew the truth. But I couldn't hide it from him. He would pick it out of my mind eventually. "She died," I said mournfully. "But it was not because her knowledge of our kind placed her inherently in danger, as I once believed. It was because I was foolish enough to leave her and bring the entire family with me. Without our protection, she died, just as she would have died if Alice hadn't told her of her condition early. Don't you see? It was your presence in her life which saved her then. Incidentally," I wondered aloud, "how were you able to keep her from noticing that something was different about us when you saved her from the van?"

Alice piped up, "I was focusing on her by then. I could see that Edward wasn't going to make a decision anytime soon, and it was easier to see _her_ future than it was to see his. I saw the van hitting her and I showed up and introduced myself that morning. She wasn't even near her truck when the van hit it. There was nothing to explain, just a weird coincidence that I had come to talk to her that day, as far as she knew."

"And so you've been here the entire time? There was never an extended absence from Forks which might have led her to befriend Jacob Black?" I asked.

"Jacob Black? Is he related to Ephraim Black? Well anyway, I'm not sure what you're talking about. Her father is friends with one of the Blacks, and older man named Billy. He used to bring his son with him sometimes. I never asked what his name is," Alice answered.

"Jacob," I replied. "His name is Jacob."

"Okay. He used to bring Jacob with him sometimes. About three years ago, he stopped bringing Jacob around. Bella was never really very close to him, but she asked why he wasn't around anymore, and Billy said he'd been accepted into some advanced college prep program and he'd moved away. I didn't really like Jacob anyway. He was fine at first, but he started to reek for a few months before he disappeared. I don't think he understood that puberty for humans means showering _every_ day."

I chuckled. "He's not precisely human. The wolves are back."

"Oh!" Alice was surprised. "I'd never smelled them before. I didn't realize."

"Excuse me," Edward interrupted. "Bella in your world died, just as I always knew she would if I got too close to her. I really don't think Alice should be her friend either, but I have no control over that situation. I cannot do what you propose. It's too dangerous for her."

"Edward, weren't you listening?" Alice's exasperation was clear, both in her voice and in the expression on her normally upbeat face. "He said she only died because he _left_ her. She needs supernatural beings to keep her safe!"

Edward opened his mouth to protest, then shut it again, blocking his thoughts from me. He closed his eyes and I heard him mentally counting to 30. When he opened them again, he began to speak very quietly. "Be that as it may, she most certainly does not need a supernatural boyfriend who would just as soon kill her as kiss her. How does that help anyone?"

"It helps you," I told him, "and it helps her. If you don't want to be with her, I will gladly take her with me. I am certain of my control. I will never harm her." If I had a pulse, it would be racing with excitement.

"No," he said quickly, dashing my dream before it even properly began. "Tell me what happened to her in the other places you visited."

I recapped the stories of the two vampire Bellas, as well as the two human Bellas who were paired with Emmett and Jacob, respectively. Emmett coughed into his sleeve, trying, for Rosalie's sake, to pretend that he was not laughing. _Sorry man,_ he told Edward. _I don't really really even know the girl, but from what Alice says, she sounds funny. _

The fact that most of my family did not know Bella came as a shock to me. "Alice, you have managed to never bring Bella to the house even after being her friend for so many years?"

"It wasn't too hard, really. She's been away at college part of that time. For the first couple of years, I had to constantly tell her we were renovating something, remodeling something, spraying for bugs. It helps a lot, when you're trying to keep something from someone, if you can see the future. I knew when I was about to do something that would make her ask a question later, and I just wouldn't do that thing. Like I said before, I had to eat human food quite a few times. I could see that she was going to start grilling me about the eating disorder she thought I had, so I ate. Once, I saw that she was going to get suspicious about never coming over. I ended up sending most of the family away to Denali for a day or two so I could bring her over without being surrounded by vampires. She'd already met everyone in school anyway, so she didn't think anything was too suspicious about only Carlisle and Esme being home."

If she was never around my entire family as a unit, she obviously had never run afoul of James and his coven. This was excellent news, since it prevented most of the problems that had befallen Bella in some of the other universes, including my own.

Edward was still unconvinced. "Although I'm impressed that Emmett was able to be with her and allow her to retain her humanity in one of the places you visited, it sounded clear to me that his intention was to change her one day in the future. I couldn't do that to her, not while she had another choice."

"One day, she won't have another choice," I reminded him. "No matter what course her life takes, the day will come that she will die, and you will go on without her. Can you live with that? Even now, when you do not spend every day with her, can you live with the idea of going on, day after day, knowing that she no longer walks this Earth?"

Edward said nothing, looking down at his hands. At last, he spoke again. "How were you certain that she loved you? How can you tell that she does here?"

"It's written in her eyes, for one. For another, the things she says in her sleep,"

But I was not able to continue. Edward cut me off. "You watched her while she _slept_? Do you have any idea how much of a violation of her privacy that is?"

"You've never watched her sleep?" I was astonished. I was aware that it was not something a normal person does, but it had been a part of our relationship for so long that I never truly thought about it in that way any longer. "I did for some time. I felt guilty about it, but eventually I told her the truth and she was perfectly happy about it. After that, I came in while she was still awake and stayed with her while she slept, with her full knowledge and consent."

"I did… think about it," Edward confessed. "It was difficult to pull myself away, once I'd gotten the idea."

I shook my head. "You really should have. I believe that was what changed things for me. If you understood how much pain she would be in if you weren't part of her life, how happy she would be if you could be a _bigger_ part of your life…"

"She asks about you all the time," Alice added. "She tries to make it sound casual, as if she's asking about the entire family, but she really just wants to know about you."

"I can't…"

"Edward?" This time, to everyone's surprise, it was Rosalie who spoke. All eyes turned to her. "If a human girl really is interested in you, and there really is a chance to expand our family _organically_…"

I gaped at Rosalie. She had always been the least approving of my relationship with Bella, and here she was, encouraging her own Edward to pursue it.

She went on. "I consider you all my family. You know that. But the one thing I've always regretted was that I would never be able to care for a child. If you really could find a way to make that happen, without anyone being unhappy about it, it would bring so much joy into the house."

"Edward had to change Bella after the child was born," I reminded Rosalie.

"Yes, but from your story, they had no idea what the child needed. If we took proper care of Bella from the very beginning, getting blood to the child before Bella ever got sick, maybe she could survive. And if she couldn't, well, we could always change her then."

Carlisle nodded slightly. "It is possible that proper care could change the outcome. That family didn't know that human-vampire procreation was possible, so they were completely unprepared and had done no research. We could begin researching well in advance and have as much information as possible. And, as Rosalie said, there is always the option of changing her if everything else fails."

"If everything else fails? Are you all mad?" Edward raised his fists to his head and gripped both sides of his head in frustration.

"We're getting ahead of ourselves, dear," Esme told Edward. "Why don't you just try talking things through with Bella? Give her a real chance to tell her how she feels, and go from there?"

"I would have to tell her what I am," Edward replied. "It wouldn't be right to allow her to make a decision about being with me, without telling her exactly what she was getting into."

"Of course, and when the time came to consider having a child, we would tell her all the risks involved in that as well," Carlisle said. "Still, I agree with what the others have said. You're denying happiness to yourself and to Bella."

"I'm denying her happiness," Edward mumbled. "All this time I thought I was the furthest thing from happiness for her. Now _he_ comes along" he gestured in my direction, "and I learn that apparently, being with me is the happiest thing that could possibly happen to her. What am I supposed to do with that?"

"I think," Jasper spoke up at last, "that you're supposed to be happy. Edward, you're glum. All of the time. The others can see it too, but they don't have to _feel_ it. I think you should give it a try, if it's what you want. You've been moping around here for years, and you were never exactly happy before you met her either. What's the worst that could happen?" Jasper cringed, remembering my story of how he'd nearly killed Bella repeatedly. "Okay, well, what's the worst that could happen if she _doesn't _cut herself open in my presence?"

"She would have died for other reasons if you hadn't entered her life," I said quietly. "From the truck, or if by some miracle she'd survived that, from her illness. Perhaps she was meant for this life. Meant for you."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. "I need some time to think about this," he muttered.

"Well, you don't have much time," I told him. "You have a date with Bella in one hour." It had taken two hours to go over the stories and argue with Edward.

"One hour! But where will I take her? What will I wear?"

Alice rose. "Edward," she said, indicating with an arm motion that she was talking to me, "Would you mind if I brought you a change of clothes? Those look fine, but Edward should show up wearing what 'he' was wearing this morning when she saw Bella."

"Of course," I said, slipping off my jacket and handing it to her.

"Actually, why don't you go ahead and take a shower. I'll have something ready for you when you're done." She reached into the pocket of my jacket and pulled out the bottle cap. "Do you, erm, need this?"

"Yes!" I snatched it out of her hand.

"All right, all right," she muttered, going through the other pockets. "Umm, Edward… Did another Alice give you this jacket?"

"Yes," I said, remembering that Alice from Universe Three had given it to me after I'd deliberately coated my shirt with bloodstains as an excuse for Tanya's family to explain Bella's absence.

"Did she… say anything to you about it?"

"She said 'you never know when the right accessories might come in handy.' Does that mean something to you, beyond the obvious?"

Alice held up a passport, a driver's license, and a large wad of cash that she had retrieved from one of the inside pockets. "I certainly think it meant something to _her_," she informed me.

I grinned. "That sneaky little… I didn't even notice it in there! She must have snuck her own Edward's belongings in, knowing that I didn't have anything like that with me and that his would be easily replaced."

"Well, it's not _our_ money and our Edward already has identification. I don't see any other alternative than for you to keep it," she said smugly. "Besides, that saves me the trouble of stuffing some things in for you myself like I was going to do."

Well, now I at least had the means to purchase airline tickets and rent cars if the need should arise. I felt a bit guilty that I had taken money from an alternate version of my family as well as identification from one of my counterparts, but since Alice had left me no way of ever returning it, I really had no choice. At least I wouldn't have to impose on _these_ Cullens. Shaking my head in disbelief, I headed into the bathroom, leaving my clothes just outside the door for Alice to retrieve. It would be nice to be freshly washed before I set off again. It seemed that this Bella had her own Edward after all.


	22. Once Bitten

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Twenty Two – Once Bitten

My exit from this universe was be bittersweet. I still wanted—needed—to find my very own Bella, but I was intrigued by the idea of watching the change in Edward for myself. Seeing his relationship with Bella grow as a third party would have been fascinating. My presence here would do little more than confuse Bella though, and I still had the far more pressing matter of finding her. There was still a chance that Bella could be seriously ill when I finally did find her. Or worse.

Alice had laid out clothing very similar, but not identical, to what I'd been wearing when I arrived. I thought it was interesting that two identical Alices hadn't chosen the exact same outfit for two identical Edwards, but she explained to me that her clothing purchases are somewhat impulsive. As long as an item falls within her high-fashion rules, she's likely to buy it. She may or may not go into a store when she goes past, depending on whether anyone is with her who might object, whether she has any more urgent issues to attend to, and whether she has fed recently enough to be sure that she is not a threat to the people inside. Sometimes she would skip over a store if she saw a vision of herself leaving empty-handed. Other times, she would have such a vision and would deliberately go into the store anyway for the challenge of finding something, and she would buy a few items anyway. She called it "the thrill of the hunt, but without the blood." Even color selection was determined by both her mood and the mood of the recipient. She would check the future to see the reaction of the person for whom the clothing was intended, and if they seemed put off by the color, she would find something else. She assured me that shopping, for her, was made up of far too many decisions to be consistent from one universe to another. I had never really realized how much effort Alice put into keeping the family properly outfitted. I made a mental note to be more appreciative in the future.

I checked through the pockets of this second sport jacket to make sure Alice hadn't slipped any additional surprises in. I could have sworn that the wad of cash had grown, but since I hadn't counted it before, I couldn't be certain. There was also another piece of paper, a different texture than money. I pulled it out of the pocket and unfurled it. _Edward's future is clear now. _I smiled and decided to keep this note of thanks as a reminder, for the next time I began to believe otherwise, that my future would always be with Bella.

For the sixth time, I said goodbye to my family. This was a much less emotional departure, since Edward was attracting everyone's attention with his frantic movements. He kept pacing, darting to the mirror to rearrange a few hairs, and asking Alice an endless stream of questions about what kind of food Bella liked and how he should behave. _What if she doesn't like me? What if she doesn't like the restaurant I choose? What if she doesn't…_

_She will like you,_ I told him firmly. _She will like anything you choose, simply because it means spending time with you. You should ask for her input about important decisions in the future though. It is her life too._

With that last thought, I left. I kept glancing over my shoulder as I made my way to the clearing, as if such an action would miraculously cause Bella to appear and profess her love for me. I knew that her life was with this Edward, and I knew that he would take care of her now that he understood this too. Still, I ached for her to want me instead. She had wanted me, hadn't she? I could have so easily slipped away with her, not returning her to her own Edward. It wouldn't have been right though. Even though he hadn't been with her, he would suffer from her loss. Alice, her best friend, would suffer from her loss. Charlie would suffer from her loss. Once again, I found myself sighing involuntarily. It seemed impossible, but I had to find a place where I could do this right. Without anyone suffering.

I tried not to spare a second thought for this Bella as I used the device to move away once more. The pain I felt was dull compared with the pain of wondering whether this was a fruitless effort. I should have stayed in the universe where Edward was dead. I could have lived forever with those Cullens, easing their suffering with my presence, and watched Bella from afar.

Watched as her love for Jacob grew?

I supposed that wasn't truly an option.

My thought whirled around me as I shifted. Could I have done anything differently? Could I have made one of the other Bellas fall for me instead of her own mate? Could I have stolen her from Emmett? I thought of how this would make my brother feel. I could tell that his love for her was deep, but I wasn't sure if it was quite as strong as my own. In time, perhaps he could have gotten past her and found a new mate. I would condemn Alice to a lifetime of headaches though. And what if Emmett hadn't been able to move on? Could I allow my brother to endure the endless torment? No, I couldn't have stayed there either, not when it may have damaged two of my beloved siblings.

Still, I was beginning to wonder if the restrictions I'd placed on myself in the beginning had been too stringent. Why should I allow Bella to stay with someone else if I knew that I could make her happier? If Jacob hadn't imprinted on her, there was no doubt that a life lived with me would be happier for Bella than a life with Jacob. Perhaps if I found a universe where she had stayed with him of her own bidding instead of "freaky wolf magic." Jacob was a good man, but he was, in so many ways, only human. He would find another person to be his Bella.

I could fight for her.

I _would_ fight for her.

Bella didn't want a weakling who would run away at the first sign of competition, would she? She would want someone strong, someone who could prove his love for her. Why was I allowing so many others to stand in the way of what I wanted?

I thought of my own Carlisle. He would be disappointed if he knew how my attitude was changing. He would be devastated to learn that the device he had constructed with such care may be used to rip apart someone else's happy existence. Forcefully, I shoved his image from my mind. He would never need to know.

The physical pain abruptly ended, and I trudged forth to my family's home with a new purpose. I would make this Bella my own. I didn't care what obstacles stood in my way. No one understood how I had suffered, not even my counterparts. Why should my suffering be secondary to theirs? Didn't I deserve happiness too?

I approached the house, pausing to listen for my counterpart's thoughts. He wasn't there, but her scent was in the air. Her human scent. It was faint, so it appeared that she did not come by frequently. Perhaps in this universe, too, she was friends with Alice but not bound to one of my family. If she was with Jacob, I would fight for her. If she was with a human… It wouldn't be a fair fight, but I would fight for her in any event. To think that was once what I had wanted for her: A normal, human life. Only after seeing everything I had borne witness to could I realize that Bella could never have a normal, human life. Bella was human, but she was not normal. She belonged in this life, in one way or another, and I would bring her to it.

I listened closely to the thoughts of my family. They were nervous, anticipating something. No, not something. Someone.

_I hope he decides to come home, _Esme was thinking. _He's been gone far too long._

_ I hope he can be controlled, _Carlisle pondered.

_I hope he leaves soon,_ was Rosalie's thought. _Every time he visits, Carlisle and Esme bend over backward to accommodate him and try to convince him to stay. Like that's ever going to happen. I don't understand what's so interesting about that freak._

_ I hope Rose doesn't kill him._ This was from Emmett.

_I hope Alice was wrong this time,_ Jasper thought bitterly. _I know it's selfish, but I can't stand when he comes to visit. It just reminds me of what I gave up._

_ I hope he stays long enough to let me order some things for him, _Alice thought. _He hasn't had access to a decent wardrobe in a long time._

Gone far too long? Everyone was inside, except for Edward. Perhaps he hadn't returned after he'd left Bella years ago. That would at least make sense of Esme's thoughts, and Alice's as well. Carlisle's, too, I supposed made some degree of sense. My despair had been utterly out of control during my time away from her. But she was not dead here. That much I'd been able to determine already from her scent. Something had certainly changed.

Still, the other thoughts made little sense. Rosalie was self-centered and difficult, there was no denying that. She had always loved me in her own way though. She would not think of Edward as a freak or hope he would go away. Quite the opposite, in Universes Two and Four, she had called Edward herself with news of Bella's demise in the hopes that he would finally return home for good. She would not want me to go back to where I came from, nor would she want to kill me, as Emmett feared. And what about Jasper? What he gave up? Alice was right there with him. How would Edward's presence remind him of his own lost love?

I could think of no one else that they could be thinking of. Could there be another member of the family in this timeline? No, Carlisle had been quite resolved that Emmett should be the last person he changed. He had been willing to change Bella only because she had requested it, with full knowledge of what she faced, and because it seemed the only way to keep Edward with the family for good. In every other place I had visited, Carlisle had stuck to his resolution not to add more members to the family. I couldn't imagine that any decision could have wavered his determination. But why would Esme feel so strongly about wanting someone to stay who was not a member of the family?

Not for the first time, I realized that there was only one way to get the answers I sought. Hopefully, it would be the last time. If Bella was not already with Edward here, and it seemed unlikely that she was, perhaps I could make her mine.

I approached the house and considered how to enter. I decided, since Edward didn't seem to be living here, that I would knock. _He's here!_ Everyone's thoughts were perfectly tuned together, and Carlisle came to answer the door.

"Hello Edward," he greeted me happily. A small smile involuntarily crept upon his lips, which he chased away almost as soon as I'd noticed it. _His eyes!_

"Edward! You're early!" Alice trilled. She came over to greet me. "I saw you coming, of course. Oh, but you looked different." Alice was perplexed. So it was definitely Edward that they'd been expecting. In each timeline, one of the relatively few consistencies was that Alice was unable to see me arriving, unable to see me at all until she opened her mind to allow for the possibility of a second Edward. Of course I would look different than in her vision. I'd been dressed by her, or a version of her, and I had fed fairly recently. I was sure that I still looked somewhat downtrodden, but nowhere near as full of despair as their own Edward did.

"Hello Carlisle, Alice," I returned their greeting. I would need to act quickly if the other Edward was expected soon. I could only masquerade as him until his arrival. "I'm early? When did you see me coming?"

"Not long, just a few minutes from now, maybe fifteen," Alice said absently, her thoughts wandering back to the vision she'd had. I gasped. This changed things.

Edward was arriving at the door, and Carlisle was opening it to let him in. He came inside, dressed in drab clothing that he'd picked up during his travels. He was solemn, affected not by the absence of his true love, but by some other factor in his life. I could guess at what factors those might be, for his eyes were crimson red.

I had been wrong. Edward hadn't returned after an extended absence, this much I'd gotten right. But he hadn't left the family when he was trying to protect Bella. He had left the family years ago, when he had decided to adopt a "normal" vampire diet. Edward was still feeding on humans. He had never made the decision to return to the Cullens. This also explained the attitude of my siblings toward him. Rosalie and Emmett had been changed after I had returned back to Carlisle and Esme, and Alice and Jasper had arrived later. If Edward hadn't been around while Rosalie was changed, she would never have grown to accept him as a brother, and might see his infrequent visits as a nuisance. Jasper would be plagued by memories of his own time feeding on humans, Edward's red eyes a constant reminder of his own sacrifices.

I wondered briefly why Carlisle had changed Rosalie at all. She had been meant as a sort of gift for me. Carlisle had felt that her death would be "too much waste" though, so it was possible that he might have changed her anyway. Perhaps he had thought that her presence would be enough to lure Edward to stay. He had meant well, of course.

More importantly, Edward had never lived here with the Cullens. He had never met Bella, which meant that she could be…

_In danger_, my thoughts interrupted themselves.

Bella's scent was in this house, no matter how faint it was. He would detect it, and just as I'd done in Universe Four, his instincts would take over, leading him directly to her. This Edward had been feeding on humans for most of his life. Even if he had stuck to the original principle of feeding only on those who had committed terrible wrongs, who did not, in his estimation, deserve to live, the draw of her blood would simply be too much for him to overcome. I had scarcely overcome it when I'd first met her, even after years of living this lifestyle. I had scarcely overcome it again when I'd caught her scent for the first time after being separated from it for so long.

The chances that Edward would resist the draw of her blood, which would sing to him directly, beckoning him as a siren over the seas, hovered at zero.

"Bella," I choked out. "Where is Bella?"

The family all shot nervous glances at one another. "How do you know my friend Bella?" Alice finally said. "You've never even visited since we lived in Forks, and I wasn't thinking about her just now."

"There's no time to explain!" I cried. "Bella is in danger!"

Without another word, I took off at my top speed in the direction of Chief Swan's house. My family was confused, certainly not expecting this reaction from me at all. Alice didn't give the matter much thought; she was on my heels, chasing behind me as I ran. _Why is Bella in danger? I didn't see any danger, and I checked. I always check to make sure she'll be okay when we have visitors of our kind. _

I wondered vaguely why Alice had befriended Bella here, but there was no time for questions. There was only time to try to reach her before _he_ did.

Alice was checking her visions as she ran, and she suddenly came upon the one that I'd feared. Bella was lying, limp and unmoving, beneath a tree near her house. The very tree where I had once watched her as she read. A book was nearby, having been flung out of the way. My counterpart stood over her body, eyes glowing with fresh human blood.

_Edward no!_ She silently screamed at me. _Bella's my friend and I love her! You can't do that to her! I know it must be hard for you right now just coming off of the human diet. It was hard for Jasper at first too. But not Bella! You can't!_

She was struggling to catch up to me, and of course she had no idea that the Edward she saw in her vision wasn't me at all. I was a faster runner than her though, and she didn't need a full explanation right now. All that mattered was that one of us should get to Bella before that vision came true. I could explain everything later, at my leisure, when her life didn't hang in the balance.

Alice was trying to show me how important Bella was to her. I saw flashes of memories running through her mind. Bella was talking with Alice and laughing nervously, and several feet away, Tyler's van slammed into her truck. Bella was lecturing Alice about having an eating disorder, and Alice snatched a slice of pizza and began discontentedly munching on it. Bella was shopping with Alice, being hustled from one store to another, complaining about wanting to go home, but looking fabulous in every outfit Alice chose. Alice was at Bella's house, helping Bella prepare dinner for Charlie before they retired to her room for an intense session of genealogy. Alice was sitting by Bella's side as she recovered from cancer treatment, helping her with her homework so that she could stay on track with her studies and the two of them could graduate together. Alice was helping Bella fill out college applications. _I don't know why, but I knew she'd be important to us one day,_ she thought desperately. _I never imagined that it would be because I'd have to save her from you. Come back to the house and we can talk about this. You don't have to stay with us if you don't want to. Please Edward. Please, not her!_

Thought it pained me to hear my sister's thoughts and to see how much distress I was causing, I didn't have time to stop and reassure her. I was approaching the tree where Bella would be sitting. Until I could be assured of her safety, there was no time for anything else. I was silently glad that Alice had come with me. Edward had been feeding on humans and would be stronger than me. Alone, I wasn't sure that I would be able to fight him off when he was in full bloodlust. With Alice's help, we stood a chance. We would make Bella safe.

_And after that,_ the monster said greedily, _she will be mine._

"No," I argued aloud with myself. "There is no time for that."

"No time for _what_ Edward? There's time to stop! To turn around! To talk about this!" Alice had misinterpreted my remarks to mean that I intended to kill Bella.

Suddenly, I heard another mental voice. _There she is, the demon that called to me from afar. How can I get the most of that delicious blood? I can't let her scream or run away. She might injure herself and some of her blood will be lost. I'll just walk up and introduce myself, then strike before she has time to realize…_

"_No!_" I bellowed. We were too late. He was already approaching her.

Once again, Alice misunderstood my thought and tried to argue with me, but I kept running desperately, frantically. If he paused long enough, perhaps we could still make it in time.

I could see her sitting happily beneath the tree. I could see the back of the vampire who shared so much of my own story as he approached her, trembling, willing himself to take his time and savor this delectable cuisine. "Excuse me, miss. Do you know what time it is?"

Bella looked up from her book, startled. "Umm, I'm not sure. I don't have a watch with me. I can run inside and check," she offered, turning her body toward the house.

He grabbed her while she was distracted, immobilizing her with his firm grasp. "That's all right," he said. "I can find out at my next stop." Bella was terrified, but for all the wrong reasons. She must have assumed that this man was up to no good, but she couldn't possibly have guessed correctly.

Just as Alice and I broke out of the woods, Edward's teeth tore gently into her neck, and he began to drink.

"No," I moaned for the third time. I was too late.

Alice was looking rapidly from one Edward to the other, piecing together in her mind that the Edward she saw before her was the same one she'd seen arriving today. Dreary clothes, sullen demeanor, red eyes. She hadn't seen the danger to Bella because he'd had no intention of harming anyone when he arrived. It had been a last-second change of plans, and he'd never actually made a clear decision to kill her. He had caught her scent, and he'd simply been compelled to track her down.

This was supposed to be _my_ Bella, and he'd taken her from me before I'd had a chance. I was overcome with fury, and I lunged at him. "Why?" I shouted at him, knowing about his specific standards for feeding. "This girl has done nothing wrong! You can't even read her thoughts!"

Edward did not tear his teeth away from his prey, but he looked up, snarling to defend her. I could see in his thoughts how incredible the taste of her blood was to him, and I was disgusted with myself when it made me thirsty. I fought with the monster as I stared back into Edward's red irises, hatred seeting within me for his sin of taking from me the woman that I loved.

Edward did something I had never expected. Incredibly, he pulled himself away from Bella and stared at me in shock. His mind was blurring so fast that I could only pick out one single thought. _What have I done?_

Bella's heart was still beating weakly, her pulse still barely throbbing through her veins. She was paralyzed by Edward's venom. Without thinking, I snatched her up into my arms and ran. I didn't know precisely where I was going, but I had to get her away from him while there was still a chance. Alice still hadn't come to her senses, but she followed. _You have to take her to Carlisle, Edward! It's her only chance! _I was holding my breath so that I wouldn't be tempted to finish what Edward had started, so I couldn't speak. I nodded my acknowledgement and ran as quickly as I could manage back to the Cullens. Bella's warm body was becoming cold, her heartbeat growing weaker as I cradled her head against my chest. Suddenly, she began to scream as the venom started to burn her.

"It will be all right, Bella," I whispered to her. "I promise."

I didn't know if I could keep this promise, but I would try.

**All right, so I stupidly went and locked myself into "Twice Shy" as the name of the next chapter, but I just couldn't resist!**


	23. Twice Shy

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Twenty Three – Twice Shy

I ran blindly to my family's home, never tearing my eyes away from Bella. Her heart thudded uselessly in her chest, skipping beats, trying desperately to keep her alive. Edward had been very close to draining her completely when he'd abruptly stopped. I wasn't sure what had caused him to do so. Indeed, even with my undying love for Bella, it had been impossible for me to stop when I'd had to drain James's venom from her hand. Impossible, but I had done it. This Edward felt no affection for this young woman; he had seen her only as prey, the most incredible meal of his life. Why had he stopped?

I became aware of Alice's thoughts behind me. _Why can't I see? What's going to happen to her? I can't see anything! _She was distraught, trying over and over to see Bella's future. When she first had been unable to get a clear lock, she'd assumed that it meant Bella would die, but she'd switched to looking at Carlisle's future, then her own. Try as she might, she could see nothing of what lie immediately ahead, and I felt my stomach churn as I realized what must surely await us.

Alice had been holding her breath too, and so she was taken completely aback when we arrived at the house only to be greeted by an enormous russet-colored wolf. _It's true! It's true! The treaty has been broken! _Jacob had seen that I was carrying Bella's nearly lifeless body and was summoning the rest of his pack to fight. He did not issue any Alpha orders, but I knew that he must be the Alpha here. Without his love for Bella, it was the natural path his life had taken. Alpha orders were not needed, in any event. I heard the voices of the pack in his mind. They were elated for the chance to finally rip apart the Cullens.

"Jacob, no!" I cried.

_How does that bloodsucker know my name?_

"It's a long story, I will tell you everything, but first, you _must_ let me get her to Carlisle."

_Good grief, this is sick. He wants to share._

"It isn't like that, you fool! Carlisle is a doctor. He can help her!"

Jacob paused, surprised. _She's still alive. I can hear her heartbeat. It's not very strong, but it's still beating. And she smells… Ugh, she smells mostly human, but something's not right. But the treaty! He broke it, he bit her!_

"I did not bite her, but she was bitten. We can straighten everything out, with violence if we must, but first you _have to let me pass_! If you do not, and she dies, her blood will be on _your_ hands!"

Jacob grunted. _It's like he can tell what I'm thinking. God, that's Bella Swan. _His thoughts drifted briefly to memories of having seen her years ago, before he became a wolf. He'd always had a crush on her, and before he transformed, he had hoped that maybe one day he'd be able to win her heart. That possibility had been ripped away from him, like so many other possibilities his life might have held, when the mystical power of his blood had changed him. He was in charge of the pack now, responsible for protecting life. _She's going to become one of them now,_ he thought regretfully. _Still, I can't just let her die. It goes against everything we stand for._ Slowly, Jacob stepped aside and let me by. _We do not fight yet,_ he informed the others. I heard their cries of protest, but he squelched them. _We wait. If their explanation is not to our liking, _then_ we fight._

I kicked in the door of the house. "Carlisle!" I screamed, my voice several octaves above its normal pitch. "Carlisle, I need you!"

He was at my side before I'd finished calling for him. He gently took Bella from me, silently admonishing me for having bitten her.

"I didn't," I told him. He glanced up at my eyes and saw that they were still golden.

"Then what?"

"It's a long story. Can you help her? Please, Carlisle. You must help her!"

"That giant wolf!" Alice burst in seconds behind me. "I didn't even know they were back! What do we do?"

Carlisle had taken Bella to the couch and was examining her. "She lost too much blood," he said simply. "There isn't enough to pump the venom through her system to keep her alive long enough to undergo the change."

So I had been too late to save her. From myself. I had thought the other universes had been terrible, but this was an unimaginably cruel fate.

Alice spoke up, interrupting my mourning. "If there was more blood?"

"I don't think we could get it quickly enough," Carlisle answered.

"But if we _could_?" Her eyes were silently pleading with Carlisle.

"I might be able to keep her heart pumping for ten more minutes. If we could get more blood that fast, she has a chance. We wouldn't need much—two pints would probably do. But none of us could run out and back quickly enough. I'm afraid there's no hope."

"Does blood type matter?" I asked Carlisle. I had an idea.

"Normally it would matter a great deal," he said, performing compresses on Bella's heart to keep it moving. "In this case though, it makes no difference. The effects of rejection that would normally take place would be counteracted by the venom."

This was all I needed to know. I hoped that Jacob would be disposed to listening to my plan, even though I couldn't tell him all the details yet. He was still standing outside, glowering at the front door. He was now joined by Quil and another wolf that I recognized from Universe Two as Seth Clearwater. The others were still staying away, awaiting further orders from their leader.

"Bella needs more blood to survive," I told him quickly. "It doesn't matter what type. She just needs a couple of pints of human blood to survive the change."

_The change, _Jacob thought with disgust. _I don't think we can donate though. The legends claim that vampire venom is poisonous to us._

"The legends are correct," I told him, not really caring that he was confused about my ability to respond to his thoughts. I had all the time in the world to fill him in on the details of my gift later. Right now, the only thing I had time for was ensuring Bella's survival. "We have only minutes. Not time enough to bring anyone from town, and even if there was enough time, it would risk exposure of our kind. Do you think any of the pack would be willing to bring human members of the tribe to help?"

_He wants us to bring him take-out? Bloodsucker's got nerve._

"No! I guarantee they will be safe. We will not harm them. You know that my family does not drink the blood of humans. Jacob, please. She will die."

Jacob considered my words. _What about the one who bit her? What if he comes up here? _

"Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie," I called over my shoulder into the house. Each one appeared the doorway in response to the sound of their name. "I need your help. There is another vampire who looks identical to me, but with red eyes. He must _not_ be permitted into the house under _any_ circumstances. I swear that I will explain everything as soon as Bella is safe." The three of them nodded and began to run the perimeter of the house along with Quil and Seth. None of them were terribly pleased to be working together, but at least as long as one life was at stake, they would accept the annoyance.

_Hey guys, _Jacob thought to his pack. _You heard all of that?_

I heard Sam's voice in Jacob's mind. _Are you certain there's no danger?_

_ I'm not certain of anything, Sam, except that Bella's going to die if we don't try to help. We are protectors of life, are we not?_

Sam's reply was cold. _Are we truly protecting a life in this case? She will become one of them if we offer our aid._

_ This is Bella we're talking about, Sam! _Jacob's judgment was clouded by his childhood crush on Bella. _I'll order you if I have to._

I could hear Carlisle manually beating Bella's heart just behind me. Sam was silent for several of these beats. _If they do not want to help, I will not force them,_ he finally allowed.

Two precious minutes later, Sam and Leah were on their way with Emily and Sue. I was astonished that Sam was willing to possibly risk the life of his imprint to save someone he didn't even know that well, but I was able to gather from the thoughts of the pack that Emily had wanted to help when she'd overheard Sam and Leah explaining the situation to Sue. Since Emily had wanted it, Sam had no choice but to bring her. He couldn't deny her anything she wanted.

Sue had been more difficult to convince, but seeing how desperately her niece wanted to help, she'd been compelled to comply as well. The two of them were riding atop Sam and Leah, clutching their arms around the wolves' huge necks.

"Thank you, Jacob." I darted back inside. "Carlisle, the wolves are on their way with two humans. What do you need?"

Carlisle barked orders at me for several supplies he would need from his private lab. Needles, tubes, bags, bandages. It was good that I possessed several medical degrees or I might have struggled with finding what he was requesting. I returned quickly with all of the items he'd requested, and he began running an IV into Bella's arm while Alice continued compressing Bella's heart at the same pace Carlisle had held. Her skin wouldn't begin to harden for some time. If she survived at all.

Outside, Leah joined with Quil, Seth, Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie in keeping the house safe from my counterpart. Sam had phased back into human form and donned a pair of shorts. He led Emily and Sue cautiously into the house, his arm wrapped around Emily's waist.

"Thank you for coming," Carlisle said sincerely. "Alice, keep it up," he told her, and she nodded, frantically forcing herself to keep the slow, steady rhythm that would keep her friend alive. If she were human, tears would be filling her eyes and preventing her from seeing what she was doing. Bella's heart was no longer beating of its own accord, and she had stopped screaming, her breath faltering and shuddering. She would slip away from me before long.

I longed to hold her hand, but with the rest of the family occupied with keeping Edward away, Carlisle needed my help. I hastily unfurled one of the tubes, reaching for Emily's arm. Sam flinched, and I decided it might be better if Carlisle was the one to work with Emily. I reached instead for Sue, who bravely offered her arm to me. The needle slid in, and her blood began to flow into the bag. I didn't know if it would be quick enough.

Esme had gone to get additional pillows to make Emily and Sue comfortable while they sat, waiting for their bags to fill. She then went to find some food that they could eat once they were finished donating. I noticed that she had been holding her breath the entire time and trying to look away from the bags of blood. I was silently grateful to her; this must have been extremely difficult for my mother.

"Carlisle! Emily's bag is ready!" I hadn't needed to say anything, since Carlisle had already reached the same conclusion, but I had to feel as if I were doing something. He wordlessly handed me the bag and began to remove the needle from Emily's arm and apply pressure to stop the bleeding. I held my own breath as I hooked up the bag to Bella's IV and waited for the blood to reach her. It had a noticeable, immediate effect. Her heart started to respond more readily to Alice's compressions, and she began to write in pain once again as the venom worked its way through her body more rapidly than before.

Sue's bag had finished filling before Emily's blood had finished working its way into Bella, and Carlisle had already bandaged her up. He attached Sue's bag as soon as Emily's was done, and in minutes, Bella's heart was beating of its own accord again. Alice stopped her compressions and began to hold Bella's hand, whispering soothingly to her as Bella screamed from the agony of the burning.

"It's okay, Bella. It's going to be okay. Bella, I'm so sorry. I should have told you what I was. In three days, this will be over, and you'll be like me."

Bella was barely able to speak through the pain, but she choked out "Like… you?"

"A vampire," Alice told her. "Bella, I'm a vampire."

Bella was horrified. "I'm… going… to… be…"

"Shhh, Bella, don't try to speak," I told her, holding her other hand. "I'm very sorry this happened to you." She didn't smell at all like Bella by now, her blood being equal parts her own, plus that of Sue and Emily. Carlisle took the supplies back to his lab, then returned with the keys to Emmett's Jeep.

"She'll be all right now," he informed everyone. "That is to say, she'll be in pain for three days, and then she'll be one of us. But she will not die." Sam scowled at this. He could scarcely believe that he had played a role in converting a human to become one of his sworn enemies. Emily's thoughts were more worried about the pain Bella was experiencing. She was thinking back to when Sam had attacked her, causing the scars that disfigured her face. It was the worst pain she had ever experienced.

"Yes," I told her softly. "It is much worse than that."

"Oh Bella," Emily cried out, tears welling up in her eyes. "Bella, I'm so sorry." _I don't even know the girl. Maybe it would have been kinder to let her die,_ she thought.

Perhaps it would have been. This Bella had not made a conscious choice to become one of us. She hadn't even known what we were, hadn't even known Edward. Would she have chosen to be doomed to this life if she had known? Would she have chosen even to be Alice's friend? I didn't know. I knew only two things.

One: Bella could not die while I had it in my power to save her.

Two: I had no competition once she was finished burning.

I could not contain my excitement. Nothing stood in my way this time. Absolutely nothing. Edward hadn't even seen her as a person, and she was not with Jacob, nor with any other member of my family. Alice hadn't mentioned one way or another whether she was seeing any human boys, but I knew that she would not be able to remain with them in any event, once she was a vampire. She would be a newborn, and no matter how extraordinary her control, she would not be able to sustain an intimate relationship with a human male.

This would be my Bella.

In the background, I was aware of Carlisle tossing the keys to Emmett's Jeep to Sam. "I'm sure you'll want to get Emily and Sue back home as soon as their strength returns. I'm sorry for the intrusion. Thank you again for your kindness. I know it can't have been easy for you." Sam was surprised at Carlisle's hospitality, and even more surprised when Esme appeared with a plate of crackers and cheese.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I didn't have much else prepared. I have some cookies baking now, but they won't be ready for another fifteen minutes. You don't have to stay if you don't want, but I would hate for the two of you to faint because of all of this." Sam was torn. He wanted to get Emily out of this house immediately, but he also worried that she might get sick if he made her leave too soon.

"We'll stay," Emily said firmly, and Sam's decision was made. "I need a few minutes to recover, and I think we'd all like to hear the whole story of what's happened." Sue looked apprehensive, but slowly nodded her agreement.

Jacob had slowly made his way, still in wolf form, into the house. He had been standing guard by the door, but Seth had stopped running to take over his position, wanting to be certain that his mother was safe. Although Jacob could have ordered him away, he decided that Seth had the right to be close to his mother, and Jacob's curiosity about what was going on inside had overwhelmed him.

_Since you seem to be able to hear my thoughts somehow,_ he told me, _I'd like to hear your explanation too. _He looked over at Bella, screaming and writhing on the couch, and his sadness consumed him. _You know, I had kind of thought I might imprint on her if I saw her again. Maybe I would have, if she hadn't already been turning into a leech._

"You might have," I told him, looking up from Bella without releasing her hand. "You did in another place I visited."

Jacob silently mourned his lost future for a moment, then turned his massive, fur-covered head back to me. _So go on. Seems we've all got plenty of time now._

I hadn't even told any portion of my explanation yet. I could still hear the thoughts of my brothers and sister outside, and I realized that they had stayed close enough to the house to hear every word inside. Good, I would only need to do this once. I allowed myself to take a breath so that I could begin to speak, and I found that I was quite comfortable, even with the exposed blood in the room. Carlisle had done a decent job of covering the tiny wounds, and the smell of wolf was overpowering in any event.

Before I could begin to speak though, chaos erupted outside. The vampire with the red eyes I'd warned the others about had arrived. The wolves wanted to tear him apart, but Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie wouldn't let them near enough. No one would let him near the house.

_Not yet!_ Jacob's Alpha ordered echoed through the minds of Leah, Seth, and Quil. _We wait to hear _why_ we're killing him first. _

The three wolves outside relaxed their posture, unable to go against Jacob's order.

"Please," Edward was saying. "I swear that I will not hurt her. I'm sorry for what I did. For _everything _I've done. Please, I need to see her. I need to apologize to her. I need to know that she's all right."

I dropped into a defensive crouch in front of Bella. Alice saw my actions and did the same. She was still vulnerable as long as she remained partially human.

Carlisle spoke first, directing his words to Jacob. "I assume that you're the leader of the pack?"

Jacob's head bobbed up, then down, once to confirm Carlisle's assessment.

"Then you need to know that Edward was not covered by the original treaty we made with you. He was not with our family when we met you. Neither Edward was," he said, glancing in my direction. "Technically, you would be within your rights to destroy them both, but I am asking you to make an exception. As you can see from his eye color, this Edward follows our lifestyle and does not harm humans."

_And the other one?_

"He wants to know about the other one," I translated.

"I would like to offer him a choice. If he chooses to remain with us, then I would take full responsibility for his actions. From that point forward, he would be a part of the treaty. If he bites another human, you would be permitted to kill us all, under the terms of our prior arrangement."

Jacob considered this proposition. The wolves would be able to kill each and every one of us if Edward slipped up only one time. _And if he doesn't choose to remain with you?_

I translated, and Carlisle responded. "Then I would have no legitimate claim on his life," he said simply, regretfully.

The pack's voices shouted at Jacob. They believed it was a trap. They wanted to tear the Edward outside apart, and me as well, since the treaty didn't cover me. _Let's end this now!_ Leah cried.

_And Bella?_

"Bella will have the same choice that Edward has," Carlisle answered after I choked out Jacob's thoughts. She can remain with us, and I will take responsibility for her actions. Or she can go out on her own, and be subject to the will of the pack." I was horrified. I had always assumed that Bella would immediately adopt a vegetarian lifestyle, but without her close connection to Edward, perhaps she might choose differently. Perhaps the wolves would destroy her.

_We will allow you to present these choices,_ Jacob said finally, despite the protests of the pack. _If they choose to abide by your rules, then no lives will be in danger. And if they don't,_ Jacob thought darkly, _then they will die._

Carlisle nodded, turning to Sam. "I'd like to bring Edward inside. He will be physically restrained by Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie, and you can have as many of the wolves in here as will make you feel safe. This needs to be decided before we go any further."

"Jacob," Sam began.

"He won't let anything happen to Emily," I told Sam, translating Jacob's thoughts.

"Excuse me," Sam said, ducking behind the kitchen counter to remove his shorts and phase. _She's safer this way._

_ All right, _Jacob told me. _Bring in the bloodsucker._

"Jacob gives his permission to bring Edward inside," I told Carlisle.

My brothers and sister brought Edward in. Emmett had Edward's right arm pinned to his side while Jasper pinned his left and tried to control the tense atmosphere. Rosalie had her hands poised at Edward's throat, ready to rip his head off if he somehow broke free.

_Man, I said I hoped she didn't kill him,_ Emmett thought, _but I didn't really _expect_ it._

"Words cannot express how sorry I am for what I've done," Edward began. "It doesn't excuse my behavior, but her blood was impossible to resist. It called to me. I wasn't even thinking. In all my years of existence, I have never taken a single human life that had committed no wrongdoing. I always read the thoughts of my victims, consuming only those who had performed terrible, atrocious acts against humanity. I caught this girl's scent though, and I didn't even think. My instincts took over. The draw of her blood was so powerful. I barely realized that I couldn't read her thoughts."

"You couldn't read her thoughts?" Carlisle was puzzled.

"No," he continued, "and I still cannot."

_Why did you stop if you were killing her without thinking?_ Jacob demanded.

"It was… strange," Edward admitted. "I was drinking her blood," the Quileutes, both wolf and human, cringed noticeably at this, but Edward pressed on, "and it was exactly like it smelled. No, _better_ than it smelled. I don't think anything could have stopped me. Then I saw him," he pointed at me. "I thought I was seeing a hallucination of myself with gold eyes, reprimanding me for my evil deeds. It snapped me out of what I was doing, and that was when I realized that I had taken an innocent life. I had no idea that she might survive. Her heart was barely beating." He turned his head as far as my brothers and sisters would allow and faced me. "Why did you stop me? Of course I'm glad that you did, but why?"

"Because I love her," I told him simply as everyone in and outside of the house gasped at my confession. The time had come for me to tell my story.


	24. Borrowed Time

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Twenty Four – Borrowed Time

I desperately wished that I had been able to stick to Carlisle's specific request that I inform only the Cullens about the matter of my shifting universes. I wasn't informing only the five wolves who were present; I was informing the entire pack. I could hear them in the minds of Jacob, Sam, and the wolves just outside the house. The pack was all in wolf form, listening with rapt attention. I was less concerned about the wolves though, because they were bound not to tell the story to anyone else. What I truly feared was informing Emily and Sue, but they were involved now. They had given a piece of themselves so that Bella might live, and they had plainly seen that there were two of me.

"Before I begin," I addressed the group, "I need to know that I can be certain that what I say will not be repeated to anyone outside of this room, apart from the wolves who are listening through telepathy."

_You're saying that you don't trust Emily and Sue, _Sam accused me. _They knew about your family all this time. Most of the other Quileutes do as well, although many believe the story is only a legend. No one has even spoken to anyone outside of the tribe of the existence of your kind. Why should you fear that they would be any further disposed to talk about you now?_

I considered this. It had been Jacob himself who had told Bella what we were in some of the other universes, a crime which was apparently taken rather seriously among the Quileutes. Obviously things had not played out the same way here, since Bella had never known Edward and had thus never invited him to La Push to be informed that "the Cullens don't come here." It seemed extremely unlikely that the Quileutes could have gone around telling others about our existence, or there would be dozens of people standing outside burning torches.

I nodded. "I'm sorry to have offended you. Of course you are right. Very well. I suppose it would be accurate to state that I am a traveler. But I do not travel between states or continents, although I will do so if the need should arise. I travel between worlds."

"So you're not… from this world," Emily spoke up, understanding much more quickly than I would have expected a human to be able to do.

"That is correct." A silence hung in the air for a brief moment, punctuated by Bella's scream of agony.

_Can't you do anything about that? _ Jacob asked me worriedly.

"I'm afraid nothing can be done about her pain. It is like this for all of us when we are turning," I answered him. "It lasts for three days, then it stops forever."

_Wow, they all did that for three days? _This was Seth's voice, just outside the room. I couldn't be sure, but it seemed as if he was starting to feel sympathetic toward us.

"In my own world," I continued, "I fell in love with Bella Swan. Her blood held a particular appeal toward me, and I'm ashamed to admit that I had difficulty keeping myself from doing what your own Edward just did. Please do not think too harshly of him. If you understood the way she smells to him… Another of our kind described it as if her blood were singing to him. Like a siren." Though her entire body felt as if it were on fire, Bella stared up at me from the couch, watching me intently as I told the tale of how our love had grown.

Over the next two hours, I told the tale of how we had fallen in love, leaving out no details. From my visits to her room while she slept, to my decision to leave her because of the danger I perceived that my presence brought to her life. Bella gripped my hand more tightly when I spoke of leaving. Could she be falling in love with me? I couldn't stop myself from smiling at that, until I spoke of her death at the hands for one of the other vampires who had seen her. I tried to explain the emptiness that had consumed me in the three years following her loss, but there were no words to adequately describe it. Sue, having lost her own husband, seemed to understand somewhat. I did not tell her that my suffering had been far worse than her own. She was human, and her capacity to feel emotions such as love and pain were limited, but to tell her this would be to make light of the mourning she had experienced.

I went on to describe in detail each of the universes I had visited already. Members of my audience cringed periodically as I described different details. Jacob was upset each time I mentioned him falling in love with Bella, and he seemed particularly distraught upon learning that he had twice imprinted: Once on Edward and Bella's now impossible-to-conceive daughter, and again on Bella herself.

Sam was merely thoughtful about the fact that the presence of the wolves had been such a huge factor in so many of the places I'd seen. In Universe Two, the Cullens had an alliance with the wolves, which had been made necessary by the newborn army. In Universe Three, I had spoken directly to the wolves in order to obtain their aid in locating my family (at this, Sam did not seem overly put-off by my deception, understanding that it had been necessary and had not harmed the pack). In Universe Four, Bella and Jacob had been in love, but her love for my brother had been stronger. As always, Emmett had been secretly entertained by this notion, and Rosalie had grown very quiet upon learning how the change in her own personality had come about. In Universe Five, Jacob had actually imprinted on Bella, ultimately being the catalyst for Edward's death, since his intertwinement with Bella's future had blinded Alice's visions of the future. Esme was visibly distraught at the idea of Edward's death, despite the fact that his own absence from the family in this place was a fact of life for her, something to which she had grown accustomed. Universe Six was actually the only place where the wolves had played no significant role in the unfolding of events, apart from where I stood now. Universe Seven.

It was difficult to believe that I'd visited so many places already, but it seemed that I had found my Bella. She continued looking up at me, seeming to be in awe of me as I spoke, despite the torment she was personally enduring. It did not escape my notice that Edward was looking on with quiet envy.

Carlisle was pensive at this point, trying to gather his thoughts into words to speak aloud for everyone present. "It is interesting," he settled on, "that our family has been the same in each place you've been. In spite of all other factors affecting each place, all of the same members of our family were changed, including Alice and Jasper, who joined on their own. I have often wondered whether or not it would have been kinder not to condemn anyone to this life. I look at Esme and I see how full of joy she is, and Emmett and how content he seems to be in this life. But this was never something that Rosalie wanted, and Edward…

"Well, I think I struggle most of all with Edward. He was the first that I changed. It was a choice I had agonized over for years, and then when the time came, I made the decision on a moment's notice. Not even fully thinking through the impact that being changed so early in life would have had on him. I've often wondered, seeing him go through this life, feeding on humans, affected by their every thought as he drains their life, whether I did him a grave injustice. He's never found happiness. I don't know if he ever will. I've wondered so frequently whether I was wrong to condemn him to this life, and now I meet you. Another Edward, clearly suffering terribly because of the loss you've endured, and I still wonder the same. Perhaps it would have been kinder to let you die," Carlisle spoke these last words with regret.

It was an argument with which I'd become familiar. My own Carlisle had never tried to hide these thoughts from me. For years, I had seen him look at me and struggle with the decisions he'd made to subject me to this existence. When I'd found Bella, he had finally allowed himself to believe that I had a purpose in this world after all, and his apprehension had faded into background noise. That had lasted only a few months. Subsequent events had led him to the same self-doubt.

"Carlisle, I truly believe that the reason our family has been intact in each place is because each one of us was meant for this life," I informed him. "Most humans are not suited to walk among our kind. It is not an easy existence," I added this portion primarily for the benefit of the Quileutes who were listening, "but there are a few, a select few, whose lives are meant to take a different path. Emmett, Alice, Jasper, and Esme fit so easily into this lifestyle. Rosalie, though she sometimes loathes what she has become, may never have found depth and meaning in her human life. As for myself, yes, I believe that I was meant for this as well. And Bella," I added, looking down at the woman I loved, who was trying desperately to conceal her shrieks of pain, "I believe Bella was meant for this too."

It had been a difficult conclusion for me to reach. Years ago, I would never have been able to accept the possibility that Bella, my innocent, sweet, kind, perfect Bella, had been meant for the endless night. Only after seeing and experiencing everything I had over the past two weeks could I have ever grown to this realization. I silently mourned my own Bella, whose life had been lost due to my own stubbornness and refusal to accept that this life should be _her_ life. She had been my angel, and I, in turn, had been hers. But I had shied away from my duties, ceasing to allow myself to be her salvation, and she had paid the price.

Finally, I understood.

Jacob had slipped out of the room, phased back into human form, and donned a pair of shorts. He returned into the living room, strutting with an arrogance I had not witnessed in the other Jacobs I'd met. This was Alpha Jacob though, so it made sense that his behavior would be different even as a human. Though he was perpetually sixteen years old, his eyes told the tale of a man who'd seen horrors and lived a dozen lifetimes, if only over the course of three short years. There could be no doubt, watching his mannerisms, that this was a person who was accustomed to being in control. He commanded it with his every move, his every look.

"That's an interesting theory, leech," Jacob addressed me. "But you've run across _some_ Bellas who were human."

"Yes, but one of those Bellas was to be changed at some undetermined future point. And another, though she would never become one of our kind, was nevertheless intertwined in this world of vampires and werewolves. To be frank, I wouldn't be surprised if that Jacob actually did request for her to be turned when the time came, simply because he couldn't bear a life without her." I hadn't considered that possibility before, but I realized that it did make sense, in a strange way.

Jacob clearly did not agree with my assessment. His control over phasing was greater in his world, and I was sure that was the only thing that prevented him from becoming a wolf once more, so great was his anger at my words. "I would never want to turn her into one of _your_ kind!" he spat at me.

"Yet you allowed us to do exactly that," I retorted. His eyes drifted to Bella's form, twisting and crying under the temporary, but terrible torture of undergoing the change.

"I—I didn't have a choice," Jacob said, for once, seeming to be out of control in his element. "It was either that, or she would die."

"It would always be either that, or she would die. She might die later, but she would still die."

"Humans die." It was Sue who spoke these words. "Death is not something to be feared or avoided. We are born, we live, and then we die. It is a fact. We cannot run from it. In the end, death consumes us all. Even those of you who consider yourselves immortal, though you are far closer to immortality than humans, do you really believe you will exist forever? You may live hundreds, even thousands of years, but sooner or later, you will cease to be, just as we all do."

"That is probably true," Carlisle was the only one who seemed willing to reply to the depth of Sue's accusations. "We are very difficult to kill. Eventually though, the world will change enough that our food supply diminishes. It could happen over the course of evolution, or it could be a single catastrophic event. However, in terms of the world in which we currently reside, we are, for all intents and purposes, immortal."

Sue nodded her agreement. "So perhaps some of you were meant for a _longer_ life," she allowed cautiously. "But in the end, death will find us all."

I had never given much thought to my own mortality. We had always spoken in terms such that we would go on forever. Indeed, Carlisle had lived over three hundred years, which certainly qualified as immortal in the minds of most humans, who considered themselves fortunate if they lived to the age of 90. It was likely, though, that Sue was right. There was no way to tell what kind of world this would be in a thousand years. The odds were against our ability to truly live forever. Why had I been so willing to throw away my life prematurely? Of course I knew why I had done so, and I gripped Bella's hand a bit too tightly, crushing some of the bones with my grip. I cursed myself for hurting her, but the pain of the change was so overwhelming that she hadn't noticed. They would heal completely in three days anyway.

"Now we're just arguing semantics," Jacob said, "and none of it is important. What _is_ important is the question of what to do about the one who bit the girl." He approached Edward, staring directly into his deep red eyes. "I assume you heard the deal Carlisle made with us. He's putting a lot on the line for you. The lives of all of these others bloodsuckers hang on what you do next. Are you going to stop killing humans, knowing that if you bite even one more, all of these others will die for your crime? Or are you going to let us kill you now?"

Edward looked anxiously over the other Cullens. He had only really bonded with Carlisle and Esme in this world, having visited the others infrequently over the past several decades. _I can't take a chance on forfeiting all of their lives to preserve my own._

Esme was silently begging Edward to make the opposite decision. _Come home, my son. Don't listen to that man. You _can_ do it. We are all in danger every day of breaking the treaty with the wolves. Each one of us has to fight our own demons every day. Your struggle will be no different. We all rely upon one another for this, and we will help you to learn to do the same._

Edward shut his eyes, trying to concentrate with the thoughts of the others buzzing around in his mind. The wolves were silently egging him on to let them kill him. Alice, although she had never been close to Edward, was asking him to stay. Jasper, too, believed that Edward could overcome the aversion to the vegetarian diet, just as he had done. Emmett saw the possibilities of having another brother around to spar with. Even Rosalie silently accepted the possibility of Edward joining their household. _It would be annoying for awhile, but honestly, what's the worst that could happen? We die? We should have done that anyway._

Carlisle's mind was surprisingly silent. He had already made the decision for Edward once, and he had apparently never stopped questioning the wisdom of that choice. He would not interfere with Edward's free will now.

Secretly, I hoped that Edward would choose to allow the wolves to destroy him. It was selfish. The most extraordinarily selfish thought I'd ever had. But if Edward died, I would be able to slip into his place with ease, and I was tired. Tired of this journey, tired of the search, tired of thinking of others and putting their suffering ahead of my own. I was tired of telling this story over and over. Most of all, I was tired of being disappointed time and again when I had to leave Bella once more. I was ready for this to end. I kept all of this from Edward, holding it for myself alone.

"I—I know that you have been more than fair with me," Edward addressed Jacob, as well as the other wolves. "I know that I have no right to ask for any additional consideration. Nonetheless, I am asking for it. Will you allow me three more days to make my choice? I would like very much for Bella and I to make our decision together." He looked at the tortured girl on the couch, the person to whom he'd caused so much agony. He deliberately avoided my gaze as he spoke.

"Fine," Jacob told him. "Three days. We're going to take shifts watching the house to make sure you don't escape. Sam, get Emily and Sue home. We don't want them to be here when _that one,_" he waved a hand in Bella's direction, "finishes transforming. Leah, Quil, and I will take the first shift. I'd like you to come back with Seth and Embry and take over after you get some sleep. We _all_ stay in wolf form for the next three days, starting when Sam gets home. At the first sign of trouble, the whole pack will come to help."

Sam nodded his massive snout and returned to the kitchen to phase back to human form and put on his shorts once more. He picked up the keys to Emmett's Jeep once again and silently beckoned with his hand for Emily and Sue to follow. They had eaten the cookies Esme had baked and seemed strong enough to walk under their own power to the Jeep. Outside, Seth phased into human form to ride back home with Sam, Emily, and his mother.

"Three days, leech," Jacob reminded Edward, poking a finger into his chest and glowering menacingly at him. Edward tried to nod, but Rosalie was still holding his head firmly in place. Jacob seemed to understand his agreement with the situation and stepped outside, where he returned to wolf form. The three wolves outside covered all of the exits of the house, waiting for anyone to make a false move.

"I won't hurt her," Edward spoke up once the house contained only eight vampires plus a human who would become a vampire in just under 70 hours. "I swear that I won't. I am under control now, and her blood doesn't smell the same anyway." It was true; her blood smelled very different after the transfusion she'd received. One by one, my brothers and sister released him from their grasp. Rosalie was the last to let go, offering him a silent threat before removing her hands from his head. She had never cared much for Bella in any of the other universes, but at least she wasn't jealous in this universe. She'd never been subjected to Edward's direct rejection; his infrequent visits meant that she'd met him for the first time only after Emmett had been changed. The idea that he might prefer this human girl who was friends with her sister didn't seem to cause her much distress, and she didn't want him killing anyone regardless.

"Bella," he said quietly, taking her hand from Alice so that each of us was holding one of Bella's hands, "I am so very sorry for what I did to you. I hope that one day you can forgive me."

Bella was still shaking and gasping out half-muffled screams. I was sure that she could understand him, but she made no motion to reply in any way.

I could read in his thoughts that he was beginning to see something different in this girl, the one for whom I had been through so much and spent so much time searching. Initially, he hadn't seen her as anything other than the girl whose blood sang to him, but now, he saw her as intriguing. Her mind was so frustratingly closed to him, and her face held a kind of quiet beauty unlike any he'd ever known. Even as her back arched involuntarily and her head tilted backward to let out scream after scream, he could see something in her that he hadn't noticed initially. He quietly loathed himself for not having taken the time to really notice her before. He could see himself falling in love with this girl, he decided.

Fury seethed within me. For I could see him falling in love with her too.


	25. The Choice

**Just a couple of thing I want to clarify – Edward, in this story, is **_**not**_** from the same universe in the Twilight novels. I know we've all grown to think of this Edward as "our Edward" to some extent, but he is actually an alternate universe Edward. The other point I wanted to clarify is that Universe Two, or the first place this Edward visited, is actually the canon universe. I feel like a few people have been a little confused about that point, so I just wanted to clear it up. He had to start out there so he'd have the same point of reference that we all have as readers of the novels, and something to compare all the differences to. I hadn't originally set out to have him stay there for five days like he did, but it actually made a lot of sense. By doing that, he had time to actually learn everything we know during his lengthy conversations with Bella. Stephenie Meyer's ending was the happiest possible ending for everyone (although I feel like the canon Cullens can't possibly have seen the last of the Volturi, since they want Alice, Bella, and probably Edward for the guard), so it made sense for him to see how things could have turned out if he'd done everything right. Well, more or less right. Edward did a lot of dumb things in the books, in my opinion. =)**

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Twenty Five – The Choice

The next three days passed with excruciating slowness. The mood in the house was extraordinarily somber. Carlisle had continued going to work in order to keep up the façade that everything was normal. Each day, he came home from the hospital with news about Charlie's frantic efforts to locate his missing daughter. Charlie had been calling the hospital every few hours to make sure that Bella hadn't appeared there following some sort of catastrophic mishap. Meanwhile, he was putting up flyers all over town and had used his position as the chief of police to expedite the search for her. Since Alice had been Bella's best friend, she was "helping" in the search for Bella and was rarely at home. It pained her greatly not to be at her friend's side while she underwent the transformation, but it was the only way to keep Charlie away from my family's home. He was grilling Alice constantly about their favorite places to go, whether she had said anything unusual recently, whether she might have run off to visit someone from school and forgotten to tell him. Alice made up an imaginary love interest of Bella's from college who lived in Michigan in order to lead Charlie's search as far away as possible. If we could only keep him away for three days, she reasoned, we would be able to move Bella. I was trying to convince the family that Charlie would be better off knowing that Bella was all right and that he would not ask too many questions. I was sure that Bella would agree with me once she was able to speak coherently again.

Meanwhile, the wolves kept up a constant surveillance. No one was allowed to leave the house without good reason. They allowed Carlisle to pass each day, only because to do otherwise would be to arouse suspicion. Esme had, of course, taken to preparing elaborate meals for the wolves once she learned that Leah preferred to eat human food rather than consuming raw meat in wolf form. Even though they were all confined to wolf form, Esme felt that Leah should have some other meal options available to her. Leah, for her part, was particularly vocal about not accepting food from us, although only Edward and I were privy to her rantings. Seth was the only one of the wolves who was willing to eat any of the food, and even with his enormous appetite, he was only able to eat a small portion of what my mother prepared. We both decided that Esme didn't need to know that her efforts were going to waste. Preparing meals seemed to soothe her nerves.

With Alice's near-constant absence, Bella was tended to primarily by both Edwards. My displeasure with Edward's apparent affections toward her grew nearly as rapidly as his feelings did. He could not be torn from her side, constantly whispering his apologies and reassurances to her, singing to her, holding her hand. He tried to make her comfortable even though he knew as well as I did that any such endeavors would be pointless. Still, she seemed to respond to the sound of his voice, staring up at him. I couldn't bring myself to speak to her. Trying to convince myself that there was a chance that she would choose me instead of him would only disappoint me in the end.

I entertained myself by checking through Edward's thoughts at regular intervals, hoping to find him struggling with the dilemma of whether he could resume drinking the blood of animals after sustaining on human blood for so many decades. Unfortunately, each time I checked his thoughts, they were consumed with worry and guilt about Bella's suffering, as well as fascination with what she must be thinking. I quickly lost interest, but I kept checking anyway in case something had changed. Secretly, I hoped that he would decide that the sacrifice would be too great and would allow the wolves to destroy him, leaving Bella for me to care for, but this seemed less and less likely each time I checked. He was enthralled with her, plagued with sorrow about having thoughtlessly bitten her, and resolved to try to somehow make it up to her in time.

When the third day was nearly over, I heard Bella's heart begin to beat faster and faster, and she began to clench her fists, now able to feel sensations other than pain in her hands. The bones I had accidentally broken in her hand had stitched themselves together on the second day, and the burning would have moved away from her extremities by now. Still, she would be experiencing unimaginable agony in her heart, more intense than anything she'd ever felt before or would ever feel again. Edward was there, stroking her hair, whispering in her ear that it was nearly over. The wolves, too, knew that the time was nearly up, for they had stopped keeping shifts and were surrounding the house in greater numbers.

Alice had returned home in time for Bella to begin her new life, feigning exhaustion and telling Charlie that she needed to turn in early and sleep in her own bed. Charlie had been nearly as concerned about her as he was about his own daughter, apologizing repeatedly for keeping her away from home so much. My sister was on edge because the wolves' presence was preventing her from seeing what would happen when Bella finished burning. I had explained to her how controlled newborn Bella had been in the two worlds I'd encountered her as a vampire, but no one was certain whether this control would be different here when she was not prepared for the change. If she darted out of the house immediately and could not be calmed down, the wolves would surely tear her apart, regardless of Jacob's past crush on her. If she was uncertain of her ability to abstain from human blood, her fate would be the same.

Bella's heart was flying at a pace that would have been terrifying if we hadn't known what to expect. Alice had never personally witnessed anyone undergo the change and had no memories of her own transformation, but we'd explained to her in great detail what would happen. Emmett had experienced the change personally but had never seen it as an outside observer. The rest of us had seen it before, some of us multiple times. Jasper, of course, had the most experience with newborns and overseeing transformations, and he stood looming over Bella in a crouch, waiting to tackle her if she lunged for anyone.

I considered leaving now. There was such a high probability that Bella would be killed by the wolves in just a few moments, and I was sure that I would not be able to refrain from getting myself killed as well in the fury that I would experience if I witnessed this event. Still, there was a chance that Edward may be the one to be torn apart, and that Bella may choose a vegetarian life. Even though the odds of this outcome were miniscule, I couldn't bear to leave while that possibility existed. If there was still any chance that my search for Bella had ended, I had to see it through. Besides, it was not long ago that I had been prepared enough to be killed by the Quileute wolves. If it happened now instead, so be it.

Bella's heart fluttered a few more times, then seized, and finally stopped. The wolves were alarmed, even though we had explained to them, too, what would take place. They could hear what her heart had been doing, and they were uncertain of what to expect. Either she was dead, as their instincts told them, or she would emerge as their mortal enemy.

Bella's eyes flew open and she leapt off the couch. She darted from one corner of the house to another, trying to escape from the vampires who followed her every move. She seemed terrified, but after a few moments, she unexpectedly stopped. She looked around the room in wonder, having seen the house a few times before with her human eyes, but finding very little to be familiar about it. Jasper was perplexed. _She should be trying to kill us,_ he thought. _It can't be a trick; her strategy wouldn't be that developed. What is she doing?_

Without warning, Bella threw back her head and began to laugh. The sound of her own voice seemed to startle her, causing her to suddenly stop. This, in turn, she apparently found amusing, which caused her to laugh again.

"Bella?" Alice approached her cautiously. "Bella, it's Alice. How do you feel?"

"I—I feel…" Bella's hands flew to her throat. "It still burns!" she protested, looking accusingly at Edward. "You told me it would stop!"

"I'm afraid that burn is a different one," Carlisle informed her. "Bella, I know this is all very overwhelming for you, but we have to ask you to focus for a few moments. Can you do that?"

Bella swallowed several time before whimpering and finally nodding.

"Do you remember any of the conversations we had right after the burning began? Three days ago, while you were still human? I would understand if you don't remember." Carlisle continued.

"While I was still human? So it's true? I'm a vampire?" I expected that she would look horrified or devastated, but she surprised me by looking merely curious.

"Yes," Carlisle answered. "Do you remember the conversation?"

"I think so. It's a little fuzzy, but there was something about a decision that I had to make, and a treaty." Bella paused, sniffing the air. "Do you guys have a dog? I think it needs a bath."

"Those are the wolves," Carlisle answered. "They are awaiting your decision. You need to have all of the facts before you decide."

"So the huge wolves I saw were real? Edward kept calling one of them Jacob. My dad's friend has a son named Jacob."

"Yes, it is the same Jacob," I spoke up. Bella looked at me, scrutinizing my face.

"Who are you?" she asked. "You look like the one who bit me, but there's something different about you."

Carlisle interjected, his voice betraying a hint of exasperation. "There will be plenty of time to explain everything, Bella, but it is very important that you allow me to explain the choice you must make. The wolves will not wait long." In response to his statement, one of the wolves outside began to howl in agreement.

Bella was silent, and Carlisle continued. "Most vampires behave more or less as you suspect. Many of the legends are untrue. The sunlight, for example, doesn't burn us, and we have no particular aversion to garlic. However, the important element with regard to our diet is accurate of most vampires." Bella gasped, but Carlisle ignored her. He silently regretted his lack of compassion, but the matter was extremely urgent. "My family, that is myself, my wife Esme, and my children, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett, do not follow the conventional vampire diet. We sustain on the blood of animals."

Bella looked relieved at this. "What about those two?" She pointed at my counterpart and myself.

"That is a very complicated matter and it will be explained in due course," Carlisle hid his annoyance extraordinarily well. "For now, I will say this much, they are both named Edward, and in a way, they are both also children of mine. One of them follows our diet, and the other has not followed it in a very long time. He will need to make the same decision that I am asking you to make."

"I don't want to kill people." Bella spoke with absolute conviction.

Carlisle nodded, pleased. "I had hoped you would say that, but I would be remiss if I did not tell you all of the facts. The burning you feel in your throat can only be quenched completely with human blood. Animal blood diminishes the burn greatly, but it will be an annoyance you must endure as long as you continue to exist, which may be centuries or millennia."

Bella's eyes grew wide at the notion of living for so long. "Are there any other differences between human blood and animal blood?"

"Yes. Animals and humans smell very different to us. Even if you've fed recently, being near humans will cause you to feel uncontrollably tempted to drink their blood. This temptation can be overcome with time and practice, but it will be at its worst for the next year or so. In addition, we are not as strong when we drink from animals as we would be if we consumed the blood of humans."

Outside, the wolves were fascinated with the information Carlisle was providing. _I had no idea it was such a sacrifice for them. _ Seth's thoughts bordered on compassion.

_Since when is not killing people a sacrifice?_ Leah shot back at him.

_Well, I always assumed that vampires had a choice, since these vampires don't kill people. I always figured there was something else they could do instead. I had no idea that only eating animals made them constantly suffer like that._

_Don't tell me you're beginning to _like_ these bloodsuckers, _Jacob sneered.

_I don't know, Jacob. They really don't seem so bad,_ thought Seth, but he was silent after that.

"So," Bella said slowly, "my only options are either to kill people, which makes me stronger and keeps me from feeling this burning in my throat, or to kill animals, which makes me weaker and only makes the burning more tolerable. But more importantly, I wouldn't have to _kill people_." She punctuated the last two words as though they were the most disgusting thing she'd ever heard.

"Yes." Carlisle kept his answer brief.

Bella repeated her earlier answer. "I don't want to kill people." Then she added, "It burns, and I don't like it, but I like it a lot better than having to kill people."

Carlisle was relieved by her response, and so was I. One down, one to go.

"What about him?" She pointed first at me, then at my counterpart. "Whichever one it is that kills people. Why do you do that?"

Edward looked down, ashamed. "I'm afraid that's me," he said. "Carlisle didn't mention it, but a few of us have additional gifts beyond our extraordinary strength, vision, speed, and smell. I have the ability to read minds."

"You can read my mind?" Bella's face contorted in humiliation.

"Not yours. I have the ability to read everyone else's mind. You're the only exception I've ever encountered," Edward reassured her. Bella's relief at this was evident. "I chose my victims carefully by reading the thoughts of others. In all my years of existence, I never drank from a human who was not a murderer, rapist, or other violent criminal. I was very particular about my choices. Someone who committed petty thefts or got into brawls at bars, for example, did not fit my criteria. I fooled myself into believing that I was helping humanity by ridding them of the scourge, but I had no right to play God. What I did to you was inexcusable. Your blood was particularly appealing to me, and I acted on impulse. I didn't even take the time to read your thoughts. I didn't even realize that they were hidden to me. I cannot ask you to forgive me, but I hope that you will give me the opportunity to try to make it up to you."

My stomach churned. It sounded as if his decision had been made. But what if she rejected him? There was still a chance, however small.

"So you're the one that bit me?" Bella asked, and Edward nodded regretfully. She looked at me, then back at him again. "And you're the one who was talking to me." This portion was not a question, but Edward nodded again anyway. Once more, she looked to me, then back to Edward again. "I like his eyes better," she said pointedly, "they suit him."

Edward smiled. "Would it please you to learn that my eyes will look like his before long?"

Bella flicked her gaze in my direction somewhat dismissively before turning back to Edward. "Yes." She answered him flatly.

"Very well. Then I will make sure that my eyes never look like this again."

"Good," she said. "Now can I go drink a deer or something? It's _really_ bad," she muttered, clutching her throat.

"Of course, Bella," Carlisle answered. "Edward," he pointed to make sure everyone knew he was referring to me and not my counterpart, "and Alice will go with you. You'll need to have two escorts for the first few months to ensure that you don't lose control. Edward and Alice have additional gifts that will be helpful in making sure there are no humans nearby while you hunt the first time."

"Why can't he come with me?" Bella pouted, wanting my counterpart's company.

"Because they're not sure of my control yet either," Edward replied. "To be frank, neither am I."

Bella sighed dejectedly. "All right. But he'll be here when I get back?"

"Of course," Edward told her, smiling.

_You don't mind, do you son? _Carlisle asked me. _I know you want to move along, but it would help a great deal if you could accompany her on this first hunt. We can't rely solely on Alice's gifts in case the wolves decide to follow._

In truth, I did mind. I wanted to get away from here as quickly as possible. Bella had, for no apparent reason, blatantly chosen one Edward over the other. She displayed no interest in me whatsoever, but seemed to have very strong feelings toward my counterpart, the very person who had thoughtlessly condemned her to this life. Still, Carlisle's reasoning was sound, and I couldn't bear the idea of Bella making a mistake that would get her killed by the wolves just because I wasn't there to help her when she needed it most. I nodded my agreement with his plan. I would go with her for one hunt, then I would move on.

The wolves were already beginning to head back to La Push, disappointed that they hadn't been permitted to kill any vampires. Jacob, Sam, and Quil had stayed behind to have a word with Carlisle, and Seth was staying behind as well. All of them had returned to human form.

"All right leeches," Jacob began, "it looks like you're getting away with everything this time on a technicality. But make no mistake, we'll be watching. One slip-up, and we'll all be back. I don't think we'll be in much of a mood to listen to an explanation, either."

Carlisle's face was grim. "I understand. Thank you for allowing us some flexibility."

Jacob grunted. "Don't get used to it."

Sam spoke up quietly. "Emily will be happy to know that you survived," he told Bella. "She was very concerned about you." I was surprised to find in Sam's thoughts that Emily had very much wanted to visit Bella, which had presented a special challenge for Sam. He was incapable of denying her anything she wanted, but he needed to keep her safe. Eventually, he had resolved the problem by begging Jacob to issue an Alpha order about keeping humans away from my family's home for the next few days. Alpha orders overrode imprints' wishes. Nonetheless, he would not be able to keep her away for good. She was fascinated by what had happened to Bella and seemed to feel a kind of kinship toward her, both of them having been harmed by men who loved them, with permanent effects. He hoped he would be able to convince her to stay away for a year or so after hearing what Carlisle had said about safety. Perhaps they could correspond by phone or email, he thought.

The three pack leaders turned to leave, but Seth stayed behind, looking slightly nervous. "Come on, Seth," Jacob grunted.

"Um," Seth began sheepishly. "Before we go, Mrs. Cullen, you wouldn't happen to have any more of those cinnamon rolls you made yesterday laying around, would you?"

Esme clapped her hands in delight. "I have two left. I can make some more tomorrow if you want to come back, or I could send the recipe to your mother."

"That would be great!" Seth said enthusiastically. Jacob rolled his eyes, but made no move to stop Seth from accepting the last two cinnamon rolls. "Can I stay a little while longer, Jacob? I want to hear more about why they decided to be _good_ vampires."

"There's no such thing as a good vampire," Jacob growled. "But if you want to stay and smell leeches, I won't stop you. Don't get yourself killed, and get home before Leah comes looking for you."

"Thanks Jacob! Oh, you guys don't mind, do you?" Seth looked back at Carlisle, who smiled, happily looking forward to sharing more of his story.

"Don't tell any of the good parts until I get back," Bella said firmly. "I want to hear too. But I want to hunt more," she admitted sadly.

"Seth, why don't you play a game with me while we wait for them?" Emmett spoke up jovially, and Seth excitedly agreed.

Grudgingly, I left with Bella and Alice at the same time that Jacob, Sam, and Quil phased back to wolf form for the run home. I hoped that it would not take too long for Bella to find enough animals to satiate her as much as possible. I wanted to get out of here sooner than later. Bella and Alice began chattering as they ran, Bella surprised that Alice had kept this secret from her for so long. I ran alongside them in silence.

There were no humans anywhere nearby, and Alice was able to see clearly once we had placed enough distance between ourselves and the house, where Seth was still sitting, interrupting her visions. There was no danger tonight of Bella finding a human by mistake. I decided to go ahead and hunt as well, even though it had been only a week or so since I'd last done so. It would give me something to do to distract me from the fact that Bella was utterly disinterested in me.

"Is there a reason why you don't seem to want to talk to me?" Bella finally said to me after she had inexpertly drained three deer. "I really don't think I did anything to you."

"You're right," I told her slowly, "it's just that I've been rejected by you a few times already. The other times were easier to take, but this time, I'm more or less the same person that you seem to have fallen in love with over the last few days, and I don't understand the reasoning behind it. I've been in love with you for years, Bella. For _years._ He didn't even know you existed until a moment before he tried to kill you."

"I'm sorry for what happened to you," she told me, "but, in spite of what he did, he was the one who was sitting with me, trying to comfort me, telling me everything about what was happening to me and why, apologizing to me over and over. You just sat there staring at me like I was a nuisance."

"I never thought you were a nuisance!" I gasped, surprised. "I suppose the situation was a bit of a nuisance. But not you. None of this was your fault. You didn't ask for it. I suppose I saw how you were reacting to him and realized what was happening, and I'm just getting so tired of getting my hopes up only to have them dashed time and again."

"Well, you do what you think you need to do," she said coldly, "but if you're getting so tired of going through this over and over, you might try being a little nicer the next time you run across one of me. What happened to you wasn't my fault. You could have talked to me. You could have fought for me, at least a little. I don't know that I would've picked you, but it would've given me something to think about anyway. It's hard to believe that you love me so much when you just give up like that." Her face softened considerably before she spoke again. "Thank you, by the way. For saving me. You know, while I was burning, the way you kept looking at me, I was starting to think you regretted saving me."

I was aghast. "Bella, I have never regretted saving you, any of the times I've saved you or any of the other Bellas like you out there. Perhaps I don't always respond as I should, but you must never think that I would regret saving you."

Bella made a harrumphing noise, then continued hunting. I considered her words. So this time, I had sabotaged myself. It was a disconcerting notion, to say the least. As she had said, there was no guarantee that she would have chosen differently, but I could not dispute that I'd given her no reason to want to choose me. I had assumed that the fact that he had tried to kill her and I had saved her would be reason enough for her to make her choice, but I should have known that Bella would surprise me. I should have tried harder to make her understand how I felt. I should not have given up so easily. I silently vowed not to give up as easily next time. It was curious that I had come to this universe with such resolve to make this Bella my own, only to give up immediately when it appeared that this goal was out of my reach. It hadn't truly been out of my reach until I'd decided that it was. I would need to keep this in mind as I continued on my journey.

I stopped counting how many deer Bella drained before she finally announced that she thought she was done. She couldn't be sure, since she wasn't accustomed yet to how her throat should feel after feeding, but the sensation had lessened to a more tolerable level. We went back to my family's home, but I did not enter. I bid Alice farewell on the front porch, and she went inside. Bella stayed behind for a few moments longer.

"Where will you go next?" she asked.

"To find you," I told her.

"Am I really worth all this?"

"Without question."

"Well, good luck," she said, still not seeming to believe me. "Just remember, if you run across another situation like this, try a little harder than the other Edward."

"I don't suppose it would work if I tried a little harder now?"

Bella shook her head. "I'm sorry, I think I'm already in love with him."

"I know," I whispered. "Goodbye, Bella."

"Goodbye," she told me, then turned to greet her own Edward.

I sighed with deep regret as I ran once more toward the clearing. I had no one to blame but myself for this outcome, but perhaps it was for the best. I knew Bella well enough to know that if the other Edward had died for biting her, she would always feel guilty about his loss, even if I remained with her. At least this way, she knew that I would go on. She may wonder about me from time to time, in passing, but she would not feel guilty for my death.

The search would continue.


	26. Paradox

**Hi guys, sorry, I know you've come to expect constant updates from Multiverse. These next few chapters required some mulling over before I got started – Didn't want to paint myself into a corner. Also, due to some personal issues I don't want to bore anyone with, I haven't been in the right mindset to write this particular story. If I'd tried to write over the last few days, Edward would've probably decided he was fed up with the whole thing and gone to hide on Isle Esme for a couple decades and told Bella to go to hell. I did think that might be fun to write as an April Fool's joke, but sadly, April is 6 months away.**

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Twenty Six – Paradox

I was getting used to this pain of shifting. Make no mistake, it was still agonizing, but by now, I was able to at least focus on my thoughts while each fiber of my body threatened to wrench itself from its other parts.

I had found a Bella who fit all of my criteria, yet I had still failed in my task. No, it wasn't just a task. It was so much more than that. It was the very essence of the reason I still existed. I had known that this journey would take time. I hadn't expected to find a universe that would suit me in the matter of a few short days, yet I was becoming discouraged after a mere fortnight. Each time I saw Bella again, it brought me such joy. Each time I was forced to move on, I felt as if I were leaving her all over again. I knew that these Bellas would not suffer as my own Bella had suffered at my loss, but this brought me no comfort. Perhaps it was this very fact that disappointed me so greatly. These Bellas were not meant for me, and so did not mourn my loss. I wondered whether any of the Bellas I'd encountered would spare even a passing thought for the welfare of the Traveling Edward they had once met.

Despite all of this self-deprication and doubt, I still felt the burning need to continue. If there was even a chance that there was a Bella out there whose suffering was close to my own, who needed me as I needed her, I must find her. One fact had remained constant: Bella's survival depended upon Edward Cullen. Without his presence in her life, she would die long before her time. Did a Bella somewhere exist who had never met Edward and would never meet Edward without my interference? A Bella who had never moved to Forks? A Bella who had deflected Edward's advances?

The former seemed plausible only if Renee had never met Phil. Bella was self-sacrificing enough that her decision to move to Forks had been made with no difficulty; it had never been a decision at all. It had simply been the thing she felt that she must do. The latter seemed equally unlikely, in truth. Even the Bella who had never dated a vampire had been infatuated with Edward. The only version of her who had never harbored any romantic feelings toward a man named Edward Cullen was the one who lived in a world where Edward was already romantically involved at the time of their meeting. That Edward had never attempted to woo her. If he had, she would surely have fallen for him. I knew that it was impossible that a free and unattached Edward would be able to sit near Bella without becoming fascinated by her.

I couldn't think of any scenarios which would involve Bella and Edward never meeting. By extension, I could think of no scenario where Bella's heart could still be open to accepting me as her mate. Perhaps this cause was hopeless. Still, I needed to see it through. If the time came that I had exhausted Bella's natural lifetime, I could always destroy my device and turn myself in to the Volturi of a given timeline to be executed as an outsider of that universe, knowing that I had failed Bella in every possible way. Doing this would not even harm that universe's Cullens, for their own Edward would be alive – or existing, anyway – and well. My own family in Universe One would be devastated if they ever learned the truth, but it was impossible for them to ever find out. They would go on with their lives, believing me to be living out a happy and fulfilled live with Bella in another world, blissfully unaware of the end I'd met of my own choosing. This was truly the best solution, I realized. Unlike the Cullens of Universe Five, my own family would never be forced to endure the endless pain of my death. It was sad that the device that my family had worked so long to create may ultimately become only an instrument to ease their own suffering, but it was somehow fitting. If I was to die no matter what, at least no one need suffer my loss.

It was also interesting to reflect on the fact that I had more or less violated each piece of advice Carlisle had given me before I had left my own universe behind forever. Carlisle had asked me not to tell anyone outside of the immediate family of the circumstances behind my traveling. I had told the wolves of these circumstances in Universes Five and Seven, and I had furthermore told two humans in Universe Seven. I would sure that no harm would come of these indiscretions, but it was nonetheless contrary to what Carlisle had requested of me. He had also asked me not to get involved in trying to help when I found circumstances not to my liking in a given universe. This, too, I had disregarded. I had taken steps to reunite Bella Three with her father, I had brought a degree of peace to Bella Five by telling her the truth, I had given Edward Six advice on courting Bella Six, as well as the possibility of human/vampire procreation, and I had actually saved the life of Bella Seven from my own counterpart.

I had already violated so many of Carlisle's rules. Would it be so much worse if I ultimately elected to end my own life anyway?

There was no more time for self-pity, I realized as the pain abruptly ended and the clearing came into view once more. Universe Eight. It was time to see whether this place would be to my liking. For a moment, I permitted myself to hope that my journey would end here after only a few stops. I relished in this moment for as long as I could, then took a deep breath and set off toward my customary starting point.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary with anyone's thoughts in the household. I did not notice my counterpart's thoughts, nor did I notice the scent of either human or vampire Bella. Something about this seemed off. I wished that I would be able to discern my own scent so that I could determine whether Edward lived among the Cullens in this universe. Clearly, he was not dead, for there were no overtly somber overtones to the house. Perhaps it was like the last place I had visited, where Edward had never returned after deciding to leave to consume humans. Surely enough time had passed that Carlisle and Esme would not be perpetually preoccupied by his absence. Or perhaps he was merely off on a hunt. Still, if Edward lived among the Cullens in this timeline, Bella's scent would surely be everywhere in this house. As far as I could tell, she had never visited this home, or at a minimum, she had not been here in a very long time.

Standing in the trees trying to determine Edward's motivations for not being home and why Bella's scent was nowhere to be found would not do nearly as much good as actually approaching the house and investigating. I found myself setting my jaw in determination once more, forcing the hope welling in my chest to be shoved down past the pit of my stomach. I didn't want to be disappointed yet again. Since I had no idea whether or not Edward lived among these Cullens, I decided it would behoove me to knock rather than simply entering.

Carlisle, who was already home from work at this time in the evening, answered the door. His face lit up in a huge grin which showed all his teeth. This would have brought fear into the heart of any sensible human. Any human except for Bella, I realized with chagrin. "Edward!" Carlisle greeted me. "It's so good to see you son!"

At the sound of my name, the other members of my family abandoned their activities and appeared at the door behind Carlisle. Their faces all matched his perfectly. They were all extremely pleased to see me, though they hadn't seemed particularly downtrodden at my absence moments ago. Perhaps Edward in this universe was away on some more pleasant business than I had been able to imagine? For the briefest flash of a second, Alice's face displayed confusion, which I knew without even reading her mind was due to her inability to see me. I was not looking forward to having this conversation once again, but it was time to begin.

"Hello Carlisle," I started.

_Edward, your eyes!_ Carlisle beamed with pride, and I realized that I must have somehow landed in a similar set of circumstances to the last universe. But unlike Edward Seven, apparently Edward Eight had made no plans to visit his family in the near future. Which meant that Bella was safe. More importantly, it meant that, barring the possibility that she was involved with the mongrel, there was a high probability that I would find it possible to build a relationship with her. Did I dare allow myself to be excited? I glanced at Jasper and wondered how much of my excitement was actually his. Apparently, he hadn't seen Edward in three years…

Three years?

But that would mean that their Edward, the one who fed from humans, had been to Forks after Bella had moved here. Crestfallen, I worried that I might have already been too late to save her here. Although Bella was dead in my own universe, and I knew that she must surely be dead in some other universes as well, I suddenly found the thought of occupying a space where Bella's light no longer shone to be unbearable.

Before I had time to fully process this information and begin to show my discomfort, Alice prematurely spoke the words I would have expected to hear from her several minutes into my explanation.

"Hi Edward!" she chirped. "I didn't see you coming. Where's Bella?"

I hadn't realized that I had stopped breathing until I began to feel air moving in and out of my lungs once again. So Bella was alive and well in this universe. Even though she was apparently involved with my counterpart, it was comforting to know that she lived.

But wait. If Carlisle had expected Edward's eyes to be red and not gold, how could Edward possibly bear to be near Bella? It would only be possible if she, too, was a vampire. Which could only mean that she, too, did not follow my family's dietary plan.

I was filled with rage at the notion that Edward had gone rogue once again and had allowed Bella to follow him in his erroneous path. Perhaps she had been the one who had wanted to adopt a "normal" vampire diet. It would actually be quite understandable for a newborn to forego any attempts at abstaining from human blood. But Bella had been no ordinary newborn. Even in Universe Seven, where Bella had been utterly unprepared for the transformation, she had exhibited more control than I'd expected. Less control, certainly, than she had displayed in Universes Two and Three, but more control than the average newborn. Edward _must_ have been the one who had made the decision. But why? What would drive Edward to damn both himself and Bella in that manner?

I wished he were here in front of me so that I could demand an explanation for his unthinkable actions. Becoming a monster again himself was one thing. Bringing Bella with him into that life was simply not something I could condone. Bella was good, pure, innocent. Even as a vampire, she valued human life and wanted to do good things for those for whom she cared. But because of Edward, she was out there somewhere, drinking the blood of humans, taking lives, without even the advantage that Edward had of being able to read their thoughts and keep killers off the streets.

I would address this matter in due course. First, I needed to work through the explanation of my presence with my family. They listened thoughtfully as I explained that I was not their own Edward. They grew curious when I explained that my own family had created a device which permitted me to travel between worlds, and horrified when I told them of Bella's demise in my own universe. I summarized the other words I'd visited briefly to further abate their curiosity. I was rarely interrupted as I spent the better part of an hour rapidly telling my tale so far.

"Which brought you here," Carlisle finished for me after I told of the most recent universe I'd visited. "I'm sorry that you've been through so much, son. I'm afraid that this universe isn't going to have much more to offer you than any of the others. Edward and Bella are already together."

"Yes, Alice inadvertently answered that question for me when she immediately asked where Bella was," I replied sadly. "I confess that I do not understand why they would choose the lifestyle that they have rather than staying among you."

"They didn't have a choice," Esme spoke up bitterly. "If they had a choice, they would be here greeting you with the rest of us."

My puzzlement was written on my face, and Carlisle spoke once more. "I believe you may have reached the wrong conclusion about Edward and Bella. Alice," he said, turning to my tiny sister, "since the rest of us have heard the story too many times to count, would you mind doing Edward the favor of showing him what you witnessed three years ago?"

Alice's face darkened, but she quickly shook off the emotion, possibly with Jasper's aid. She looked up into my eyes and spoke aloud.

"It's not my favorite thing to relive, but it will certainly be easier than anyone else explaining it to you. Your story about what happened in the places you call Universes Two and Five are very close to how things unfolded here, to a point. Edward left Bella, thinking that his continued presence in her life presented too great a risk to her. Laurent was killed by the wolves, unlike what transpired in your timeline, and Bella did jump off a cliff in an effort to hear Edward's voice. That was when I chose to look at her future and I left for Forks. Rosalie called Edward to tell him what happened in the hopes that he would return home, and Edward went to the Volturi to die. That part you've already heard. After that, it gets a bit different …" Alice continued the tale wordlessly by showing me, rather than narrating for me, her memories of what transpired.

* * *

"Unless…" Aro said, "Unless you do intend to give her immortality?"

My counterpart paused briefly. "And if I do?"

"Why, then you would be free to go home and give my regards to my friend Carlisle. But I'm afraid you would have to mean it." Aro raised his hand. Caius appeared pleased at this outcome, having demanded that Bella's life be taken because she was a human who knew far too much about our kind.

"Mean it," Bella whispered to Edward, close enough for Alice to hear.

Edward hesitated. Alice's hand twitched for a moment, but she ultimately seemed to think better of what she had planned to do.

After a long, uncomfortable silence, Edward clenched his hands into fists. "I cannot," he said simply. Bella's expression was one of devastation. Watching the scene unfold, I realized that she still believed at this point that my counterpart had not wanted her. His refusal to exist with her forever by her side must have seemed like confirmation to her. Confirmation of the very worst kind of blasphemy I'd ever committed. She didn't seem likely to consider the notion that perhaps his concern for her soul was greater than her own. He had been wrong, in any event. I knew that now, but with her standing alive and well by his side, Edward could not have known the same.

Aro sighed in great disappointment. "A pity. Such a waste." Aro then made the tiniest gesture with his hand. It was scarcely more than a flick of the wrist. At this signal, Felix was instantly at Alice's side, physically restraining her from moving. Demetri appeared behind Edward, pinning his hands behind his back. At precisely the same time, Jane turned her smile once more toward Edward, incapacitating him completely.

Aro stepped cordially toward Bella. "You would have made a most _fascinating_ immortal, my dear." He smiled sadly and tenderly sunk his teeth into her neck.

"No!" Edward screamed, somehow summoning the strength to do so even under the effects of Jane's remarkable power.

Aro, having lived far longer than even Carlisle had, must have possessed a great capability for restraint. At the sound of Edward's cries, he lifted his head from Bella, carefully holding her paralyzed form up from the ground, protecting her from further harm. "Jane?" he spoke between clenched, blood-covered teeth. He was holding his breath so that he would not be too tempted to finish what he'd started.

Jane blinked at this command, and Edward's body slumped against Demetri.

"Anything," Edward pleaded with Aro. "Anything you want."

Aro made no attempt to conceal his delight. "So you will join us?"

Edward stared at Bella, her eyes still full of life although she was unable to move due to the effects of Aro's venom. Bella would not meet his gaze, and I guessed that she probably preferred to die now rather than subject Edward to a lifetime with her, believing as she still did that he did not want her.

"Yes," Edward whispered. "I will join you."

"Fantastic!" Aro cried, delighted. "Alice? You are free to go, of course, but you are welcome to stay if you would like to watch over Edward and his mate?"

"No thank you," she told him, not tearing her eyes away from Bella. In her memory, I could see that she was processing a vision of what was to come, and she was sadded profoundly by the fact that she would not be seeing much of her new sister after all. "I need to get home to my own mate."

"Of course, of course," Aro said, still holding Bella up off the ground. "Alec?"

Alec stepped forward and took Bella from Aro. Edward struggled against Demetri, but he was still disoriented following Jane's attacks, and Demetri held him back easily. Alec was holding his breath as well, but he used the last of his air to address Aro. "It won't work on her."

Aro looked regretfully at Bella. "Probably not. But we must make every effort, all the same."

Alec carried Bella out of the room, and Edward became frantic, struggling harder to free himself from Demetri's grasp.

"She will not be harmed," Aro explained. "It is somewhat rare for us to create a newborn, as I'm sure you can imagine. However, on those rare occasions, it is customary for Alec to oversee the turning. His gift makes the experience quite tolerable. They feel nothing at all during the change. They know only that they lose all sensation for a period of time, and when they regain sensation, it is entirely different than it was before. Of course, we have every reason to believe that Alec's talents will have no effect on your Bella, but so long as there is a chance, he will try."

Edward relaxed slightly, but still attempted to break away from Demetri. "I want to be with her when it happens," he insisted.

"Patience, Edward. When I read you, I saw that you had managed to save her from being turned once before by sucking the venom out. In a few minutes, this will no longer be possible. Assuming that Alec is unsuccessful in his attempts to spare Bella the agony that you and I endured during the transformation, we will permit you to see her in an hour or so." Aro continued to be very pleasant with Edward, his voice and expressions betraying no sense that he had committed any act of evil whatsoever. "And in three days, you will begin your new life together, here, among friends!"

Edward grimaced, clearly nowhere near as excited about this prospect as Aro. "So she, too, must join?"

"Of course not," Aro looked appalled at this suggestion. "If she desires to leave with Alice, she will be free to go, so long as Alice believes she can control her. I simply assumed she would want to stay where you are."

Edward gave up on his efforts and allowed his arms to go slack behind him. "You're probably right."

"Excellent! We will help her to develop her gifts. I'm sure she'll make a valuable asset to our group as well!" Aro could scarcely contain his excitement at the two additions he'd just made to his guard. His gaze drifted sadly to Alice, who would not be convinced to remain with him. "Well then," Aro clapped his hands together once to punctuate his change of subject. "Dinner will be arriving soon. Alice, if you'd like to stay with us a few more days to await Bella's decision, you're welcome to join us. I'm afraid I cannot allow you to hunt animals while the festival is going on, but you may certainly do so later tonight if you prefer." I did not miss that he made no such offer to Edward, who would henceforth be expected to integrate fully into the lifestyle befitting the Volturi guard.

"Thank you, but I just ate before we came to Italy. I should be fine for the duration of my stay," Alice said, doing her best to make her voice pleasant. In her memory, I could see that she had been silently screaming at Edward for not choosing to tell Aro that he planned to change Bella himself a few minutes before when he'd had the opportunity. The three of them could all be leaving for the airport together right now, and the outcome would have been the same. Bella would still become one of our kind, only she would have had a few more months to say goodbye to her family and friends first if Edward had agreed to do it. Now, Bella would be a vampire in three days, and Alice may never see her _or_ Edward again. On top of all of this, she would have to be the one to explain all of this to Carlisle, and to explain to Charlie that his daughter had "died" when Alice had picked her up to take an impromptu trip.

Just then, a bloodcurdling scream punctuated the air, breaking Alice from her thoughts. The sound resonated through the enormous room and lingered there.

"Ahh," Aro seemed genuinely saddened, "it seems that Bella is immune to Alec's gifts as well. How very upsetting."

* * *

Alice stopped her memories there. "Three days later, Bella woke up," she told me. "She's been a member of the Volturi guard from the moment she was turned. She knows no other life as one of our kind. That was three years ago. We haven't seen Edward or Bella since. We don't think about it too much. We know they're safe and well-cared-for. Still, we wish they were here with us," she said wistfully.

I nodded, understanding now how Edward had come to subject Bella to a life of living on human blood. Aro had painted him into quite a corner. Still, I was curious about one point.

"Alice, in your memory, your hand flickered toward Aro for a moment. In the very first universe I visited, you got everyone out of that situation by showing Aro a vision of Bella becoming a vampire. I assume that's what you considered doing here. Why didn't you?" I asked her. I hoped that my voice didn't sound accusing. Even with her above-average capability of determining the outcome of events, Alice wasn't to blame for Bella's fate. Edward had been the one who placed everyone in that position in the first place.

"I did consider that," Alice looked down, ashamed. "But I was afraid Edward might change his mind again. He'd changed it so many times. What if I said that Bella was going to be one of us, and then Edward decided to take off and leave her unprotected again? If the Volturi came to look for her and found that she was not only still human, but there were no vampires nearby with the capability or intention to change her, they would have wasted no time in disposing of her." She spat out the last few words, finding Aro's idea of proper handling of such a situation to be distasteful.

"I understand. In truth, the Volturi did cause our family quite a bit of trouble in that universe over the next several months, so it may have been for the best after all," I consoled her. I was sure that Aro would likely make another attempt at collecting Alice for his guard at some point, but he would probably not think to do so for many more years now.

I considered all of the information Alice had provided to me. She had left almost immediately after receiving Bella's decision to remain behind with Edward and had not seen Bella since. Although Bella was indisputably with Edward, I wondered whether she was happy.

Rather, I wondered whether she would be happier with me.

Aro had made clear that she was free to leave at any time. She remained behind only because she wanted to be with Edward.

If I could only somehow get her attention without drawing the notice of the entire guard, I could present her with another option. Yes, it would mean tearing her away from my counterpart, but how could she be happy killing humans callously when she was a person of such compassion? She deserved better.

She deserved me.

I would be taking an enormous risk by traveling to Italy, and I could not permit my family to suffer any of those risks along with me. I would tell them nothing of my plan, giving Aro no reason to come after them. He would read me before he had me executed, which he surely would do if I was found.

"Thank you very much for your hospitality," I told my family. "I suppose you're right, there is no reason for me to remain here. I will continue my search." I remained for a few minutes longer to bid each member of my family a proper goodbye before running in the general direction of the clearing. Once I knew I was out of their sight, I changed direction.

I was silently grateful to the Alices who had provided me with identification and money. I would need all of this in order to get on the next flight to Italy. Bella deserved to have another choice, and I would bring it to her.


	27. Volterra

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Twenty Seven – Volterra

This was madness.

My mind held absolutely no doubt that this was the third most insane decision I'd ever made. Leaving Carlisle and Esme to feed on humans had been worse than this. Leaving Bella had been the worst of all. But this, traveling to Italy to attempt to lure Bella away from the notice of the Volturi in order to present her with a choice that she may very well decline… Well, this wasn't very far behind.

As I booked my travel and went on the rather lengthy flight, I had much time to consider and reconsider my choice. It would be so easy to simply get on another plane once I landed and return to Forks immediately, run to the clearing, and change worlds once more. In many ways, it was the most sensible course of action to take. If I was discovered, Aro would have access to the device that my family had created. He would not know how to create one of his own or improve upon it, but it would be only a matter of time before he could lure someone into his guard who had the ability to decipher it. Even if I managed to destroy the device before he killed me, he could still attempt to commission the creation of such a tool of his own. Further, he would see in my thoughts that my family had been able to create it in only three years due to the aid of my sister and her ability to check whether a given idea would work. This meant that if I was discovered, Aro would attempt to add Alice to his guard that much faster. Before, he'd known that he wanted her in the guard for her abilities. Now, he'd have a specific use for her.

Given his substantial resources, and not just of the financial nature, Aro would easily be able to create a device like mine, and it would grant him untold power. He could travel to other worlds and create any manner of chaos he desired with no fear of repercussions in his own world. He could create entire armies of newborns simply to observe whether any of them had any powers he would like to add to his own coven, return to his own timeline with the gifted vampires, and allow the others to run havoc where he'd found them. He would have no need to worry about being careful, because other worlds would not be his problem or within his jurisdiction. Some timelines would become overrun with our kind, and numerous human lives would be lost.

Creating a device would not be too difficult for Aro. Alice would be all that he'd need, and by reading me and learning the tales of how my family had been ambushed in other worlds, he would have all the ideas he'd need. Getting a third, or even a fourth party to make the decision would ensure that Alice had very little advanced notice. Since my family in this world had never worked with the wolves, they would stand no chance against the Volturi, particularly with Edward and Bella working for Aro. Alice would be compelled to join in order to save the others. Aro would have no problem with allowing Jasper into the guard as well, if that was her only condition. Although his gifts were more subtle than some, Aro would be able to find use for him. In truth, Jasper may even be relieved in time to be part of the guard, since he'd always struggled with the vegetarian lifestyle.

Aro would then be able to seek out scientists, people with advanced knowledge of theories involving time and space, and turn them. Considering the gifts he would have at his disposal, such as tracking these people to find their precise location, distance surface mind reading, touch-based thorough mind reading, emotional manipulation, visions of the future that would tell him which choice of phrasing would be most likely to sway the scientist to join, the ability to bond those new vampires to the guard, and of course, simple torture, he would be unstoppable. He wouldn't even need to tell these people that they would endure unimaginable pain for three days. He would simply tell them that they'd feel nothing for a period of time, thanks to Alec. Time travel may not even be beyond his grasp, once he'd acquired the best minds and had Alice to tell him what would or would not work. He could alter the course of history, either in his own world, or in others.

It was imperative, therefore, that I should manage to completely elude discovery. This meant that Bella, and only Bella, could be allowed to learn the truth of where I'd come from. If even my counterpart knew the story, Aro would be able to glean it from him at some point in the future with a reading. Bella, being immune to Aro's gifts, would not need to impart this knowledge to him. Somehow, I had to lure her away from everyone else, including her own mate.

But what if Bella actually did prefer her life with the Volturi? What if her loyalty to Aro was sufficient that she would gladly tell him the tale? In that case, I couldn't even tell her about the device. In fact, there was no way that I could determine where her loyalties lie, since she was immune to my gift as well. Though it pained me to do so, I had no alternative than to lie to her. I knew that Bella did not appreciate deception, but it simply was not safe to allow any course of action which may enlighten Aro to the possibility of harnessing time and space.

I would tell her, then, that I'd come here through some manner of accident, a rare cosmic disturbance that was unlikely to ever recur, and that I had only the briefest of windows before I must return to my own world. Even if Aro came to hear about this, he would do nothing more than waste time trying to research the circumstances and determine whether it would take place again.

I still needed to consider how I would go about luring Bella away. I could not simply enter the Volturi compound. I would be seen, and I would be immediately brought to Aro, where all of my worst fears would come true, and I would inadvertently destroy multiple worlds. Try as I might, the only way I could think of that would get Bella to come outside was to involve my counterpart. If I remained just outside the walls, eventually Edward would hear my thoughts and be compelled to investigate. With my cover story about a cosmic accident, it would not be too troublesome if Aro were to read him later. However, if Aro read Edward _before_ he came out to investigate, there would be… Complications. Aro would want to meet me himself, and he would be unafraid to use force to ensure that I complied.

This was shaping up to seem like an impossible task. Was it really worth all of this trouble? How unhappy could Bella really be, if she were in Edward's company for all time? She was unlikely to choose me, of that I was certain.

But there still existed a chance, however small, and I could not ignore it.

I did have one advantage, I realized. I had precisely the same mental signature as my counterpart. If I was exceedingly careful with my thoughts, even if Aro did read Edward before he came outside to meet me, he would likely assume that those thoughts belonged to Edward himself and not to a second Edward. By the time he learned the full truth later, he would be given my cover story, and it would no longer matter.

This was my only chance. Although I still was not certain of the existence of a higher power, I nonetheless prayed that it would work. For if it did not, all would be lost.

The plane landed without incident. None of the humans aboard had the slightest notion that one of their fellow passengers had been a bloodthirsty demon from another world, or that that demon had made a decision which may endanger all life as they knew it.

I rented an inconspicuous car to get to Volterra. I would not be able to drive it directly to the Volturi, since I would not escape notice, particularly in light of my resemblance to a member of the guard. Still, it greatly decreased the likelihood of my being noticed if I took a car rather than running the entire way. I chose an isolated area a few miles from my destination and waiting for the sun to finish setting before continuing. Once night had fallen completely, I ran the rest of the way.

I reached the home of the Volturi in short order and crept into a back entrance. Aro did not have guards surrounding the area; there was no specific need for them. No human intruder would stand a chance of surviving, even in great numbers, and no vampire coven existed that was powerful enough to take on the entire group. Having an armed presence would also cause the humans that were "fished" by the Volturi for dinner to feel less comfortable about their surroundings, thus increasing the chance that they might flee and tell others about this strange place. It worked very much in my favor that there was very little in the way of blockages preventing access to the large home of the Volturi.

I did my best to keep my mind blank as I approached. Once I was outside the castle where I knew my counterpart resided, I began to slowly make half-circles around the building, all the while thinking _Bella hasn't been outside in a very long time. A walk in the moonlight sounds delightful and romantic. It would be a shame to waste such a perfect, beautiful night._ It was true; I couldn't have asked for a more lovely night. The moon hung low in the sky, looming brilliant and huge in an otherwise cloudless sky. The stars were clear enough that any vampire would be able to pick out the most faraway constellations with ease. The night air was warm, but not uncomfortably so.

I allowed no other stray thoughts to creep into the forefront of my mind as I paced back and forth. In the beginning, I wasn't even sure if my efforts were meeting with any success. On my fifth trip back across the castle's back wall though, I distinctly heard a voice very much like my own. _All right, perhaps a walk is just the thing for learning._ Good, he had picked up on what I was trying to accomplish and was willing to keep up the charade.

_I think a nice long walk would be best,_ I informed him. _In the direction of the moon. It must look stunning tonight._

_ Yes,_ he agreed, careful to seem like one fluid thought if Aro were to read him as he left, _a long walk in the direction of the moon would do Bella and I much good._

Feeling that I'd already pushed my luck far enough tonight, I dashed off, putting as much distance between myself and the castle as I felt it was reasonable to do. Now my thoughts were safe once more and I could afford to become excited about the prospect of offering Bella a better life. Even though I knew my chances of being chosen were slim, I reveled in the idea of my journey coming to an end here, and of Bella being happier with me, running off to the next world where her own Aro would never be able to track her down. I hated knowing that I would need to subject her to the physical torment that came with shifting, but we would need to locate a world where we could live together in peace, without the constant fear of discovery.

I let my mind drift over the possibilities that lie ahead. If Bella would choose to come with me, we had until the end of time to locate the perfect world to inhabit. There was no race against the clock. We could choose to look for a world where we would both be able to live with the Cullens, or we could simply set up a separate home and leave my family alone. We would make these decisions together. I did not mind meeting disappointments with Bella by my side. We would be a traveling pair, and once we found a place that suited us both, we would destroy the device together so that it would never fall into the wrong hands.

After some time had passed, I began to hear my counterpart's mental voice again in the distance and I regained control of my thoughts. If he suspected that I was here to offer Bella an alternative life, he might turn back and report me. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get away quickly enough to elude capture until I could reactivate my world-shifting apparatus.

"Are you going to tell me what this is all about?" Bella sounded annoyed as she spoke to Edward. "I thought we agreed there was no need for secrets now."

"Bella, I don't even know what this is all about myself. If I did, don't you think Aro would have reacted when he read me?" So Aro had read him before they set off on their walk. It must have seemed suspicious to him that Edward and Bella would suddenly want to set off on a moonlight stroll. I hoped that my attempt at deception would hold, at least for long enough for me to get away. I focused on my cover story about a cosmic incident that could not be duplicated.

"I guess," she muttered. "Unless you're in on it together."

Before my counterpart had time to respond to this bizarre accusation, the pair had spotted me. Edward reacted with a small degree of surprise, his vague suspicions confirmed. Bella, however, had shock written all over her bright red eyes. She broke into a run, and Edward caught up to her quickly. In less than two seconds, they were standing before me.

"Hello," I greeted them pleasantly.

"Who are you?" Bella demanded. "Is this some kind of trap?" As soon as the words left her, I found myself no longer privy to my counterpart's thoughts. Instinctively, she had begun to shield him. This would make things a bit more difficult, since I had no way of knowing whether he would believe what I said or not.

"My name is Edward Cullen," I informed her.

"We do not go by that name any longer," Edward replied. "I am Edward Masen, and this is my wife Bella." I was unable to conceal my surprise at this, so he went on to explain. "Aro felt that it was… inappropriate for me to continue to use the name of my former coven. He was quite agreeable to my human name, though. Apparently, he saw no threat there, since all my ties to my human life died back in 1918."

Coven. So that's how he thought of his family now.

"They are a coven," he said coldly, responding to my thoughts. "They can call themselves a family if it makes them feel less like one of our kind, but make no mistake that they are like us. They have the same instincts, the same abilities, the same thirst. Their choice to deny that thirst does not make them fundamentally different." I couldn't tell whether he believed his words, since he was behind Bella's shield. Still, he spoke with conviction. It seemed that his time with the guard had had some effect on his thinking.

I turned to Bella. "And this is how you feel as well?"

"I don't know much about living that way, feeding on animals. I tried animal blood once, just out of curiosity, since that was how Edward lived when I met him. It didn't taste very good, and it seemed unnatural," she said flippantly.

"Killing humans is natural?" I could scarcely believe what I was hearing.

"They are our natural prey," Bella answered automatically. "Do you think that a lion feels badly about killing a zebra?"

"Some humans feel badly about killing cows," I shot back at her. "There are other choices. We are more intelligent than lions and have the capability to make decisions about our meals for ourselves."

"Yes," Edward spoke up again, "_some_ humans feel badly about killing cows. Surely you realize that the majority of humans still live on a diet which includes meat."

"It's not quite the same argument," I countered. "Cows don't have hopes and dreams, families that love them, others who will mourn their passing."

"But they suffer," Bella told me. "The humans we feed on don't suffer. They meet their end swiftly. Many of them don't even realize what's happening to them. They would all die eventually. You would prefer that we deny ourselves the only food that truly satisfies us, all in the name of letting a few humans go on for a few more decades, suffering the pain of illness, injury, and _loss_?" She spoke this last word with emphasis, likely hoping that it would prompt me to remember how I'd left her three years before.

I shook my head. "It's not our job to decide who lives and who dies."

"Exactly," Edward interjected. "We eat when we are hungry. We do not agonize over what that human may have done with their pointless life if they had not met us."

I sighed. I had not expected either of them to actually believe in their new life. It was possible that they were both putting up a front, but they were very convincing about it. Bella, as a newborn, would have craved nothing more than human blood, and perhaps Edward had grown to see things differently so that she wouldn't feel too badly about her desires. In any case, it was clear that Bella was not going to choose me if she did not feel conflicted about drinking human blood.

"Choose you?" Edward laughed. From what I'd been able to determine, Bella's shield worked only one way. While he was under it, I could not hear his thoughts, but he could still hear mine. "Is that what you came here for? To get Bella to choose you?"

Bella's eyes widened. "I would never!" she cried. "He sacrificed everything for me. Of course, we found that this life was far better than we'd expected, brainwashed as we were by Carlisle's coven." I winced at the idea of Carlisle brainwashing anyone to remain with him, but Bella did not pause. "But he'd been vehemently opposed to joining before he had all of the information. Yet he gave himself over freely to save my life. I would not leave him behind to run off to greener pastures. Even if I was unhappy here, it would kill me to abandon him."

I stared at Bella, trying to determine whether she truly was happy here. If she was lying, her face betrayed no hint of this deception. I was surprised that neither had asked where I'd come from.

"We don't really want to know where you came from," Edward replied once more to my thoughts. "We would simply prefer it if you'd go back there immediately. Leave us, and tell Carlisle that he should do the same." Bella's face fell almost imperceptibly at this last sentence, and I greedily took advantage of the opportunity to get her to contradict her mate.

"Is that what you want too?" I asked her.

She paused, looking to Edward, who seemed surprised by her hesitation. At last, she spoke. "I do miss Alice," she said reluctantly. "The others too, a little, but Alice more."

"Alice will join us one day," Edward waved his hand as if the statement were as obvious as the bright-red color of his eyes. "We won't be apart from her forever."

I cringed, knowing that it was likelier than not that he was right. By now, Aro would know of all of the weaknesses in Alice's vision and how to exploit them. He would simply be waiting for the best time to strike. With Edward and Bella among them, the Cullen family consisted of only 6 vampires, four of whom had no special talents. It would be very easy to persuade Alice to join if Jasper were permitted to come as well, especially under the threat of harm to the remaining family members. And then, the Volturi would no longer see the Cullens as a threat. They would be a small "coven" of only four vampires, with no extraordinary gifts. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie would likely be left alone to live as they pleased. Looking into the burgundy eyes of Edward and Bella, I tried to imagine my small, jubilant sister with those same eyes, sneering as she ended human lives each night. The idea pained me, but I knew that in some ways, Jasper would surely be happier.

"He would," Edward answered my thoughts again. I could clearly see why my abilities had been such an annoyance to some of my siblings over the years. It wasn't fair that he could respond to everything I thought without my having access to his own mind. "Jasper would revel among us. He would never again need to know the agony of trying to live among humans and feed on animals. He would be among others of his kind, and he would sense our contentment and increase it in time. Alice would learn to be happy as well, seeing how joyous her husband became."

I did not believe that this was true, but I also would never have believed that Bella could be happy here. It would have been different, I supposed, if she'd come here after a few years of being a vegetarian. Being given humans to eat immediately after becoming a newborn vampire must have changed her perspective, and Edward's had changed to match her own. He, too, had fed off humans fairly early in his vampire life, and I knew that some part of him had always missed it, for some part of me had always missed it too. Generally, I was disgusted at that part of me, but if I had no other choice, I supposed I would eventually come to accept it.

One thing was clear: There was no further purpose to be served by my remaining here in Volterra. It was time for me to move on. I was careful not to plan out my next move or to explain how I was able to move. My thoughts were still not safe. Edward inclined his head in my direction, agreeing with this.

"Thank you for meeting with me," I conceded. "I'm very sorry if I've gotten you into any trouble."

"Aro won't read me again when I get back. He was convinced that we were just going for a walk. He'll read me again at some point, I'm sure, and when he does, he might be annoyed that we didn't pump you for information. However, he will understand that we have a bit of a soft spot for you, if not for the rest of that coven, so he will forgive us." Edward responded, once again using the word "coven" to describe his former family.

"Very well," I said. "It is a lovely evening. I suggest the two of you make the most of it before you return."

"We will, thank you." Bella replied, her eyes glossing over with mischief as she considered what activities she and Edward planned to engage in together under cover of darkness. For the first time, I was glad that I could not read her thoughts.

I turned and ran back to where I had left the car. Once I was safely outside of Edward's mental range, I was finally free to think of what I'd do next. I knew that I had promised not to interfere, and I knew that I had also told the Cullens here that I was moving to the next universe. Still, in light of the fact that the Volturi definitely planned to try to capture Alice and Jasper for the guard, I felt compelled to return and warn them. I should return there to shift from the same clearing anyway; it would take only a few more minutes to stop by and inform my family of my findings. They deserved to know the danger they were in.


	28. Plotting

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Twenty Eight – Plotting

I raised a few eyebrows when I booked a flight back to Seattle, once the desk agent saw that I had landed in Italy only hours before. "I received news about an incident with my sister back home," I explained, not entirely lying. "I need to get back as soon as possible." This seemed to satisfy the agent's concerns about whether I was involved in some kind of evil plot, and she happily booked me on a flight back to Seattle.

Once again, I was lost in thought during the flight. It hadn't occurred to me until now that it wasn't just my family who was in danger. Alice knew about the device, which meant that Aro would know about the device after he came for her. All of the things I had envisioned happening would come to pass. The world, as we knew it, would be over within just a few short years after Aro decided to come for Alice. A new kind of emptiness came over me as I realized that it was my fault. From the moment I'd arrived in this universe, there had been nothing I could have done which would have prevented this outcome. I had doomed this timeline, as well as countless others, simply by speaking to my family when I arrived. Carlisle hadn't even foreseen this possibility when he'd given me words of warning.

Still, there seemed to be a faint glimmer of hope. In Universe Two, my family had managed to evade the Volturi's attempts to destroy Renesmee and assimilate half of the Cullens into the guard by calling on everyone they knew and allying with the wolves. Bella had been instrumental in this near-battle, and it would be nearly impossible to stand a chance without her, but the Volturi would likely not come out in such great numbers to take Alice away here, and it seemed likely that they might leave Bella and Edward at home, for fear that their allegiance would be too divided. In any event, Aro did not seem to have plans to come for Alice immediately, so they would have a great deal of time to consider their plans. If they were to survive though, they would need to begin setting things in motion now, such as making specific contacts and forming a tentative alliance with the wolves.

I wasn't sure if even all of these efforts would be enough. The only reliable method of fighting Jane involved using one person as bait to receive Jane's torture while another attacked. She could only use her powers on one person at a time, so it seemed likely that she could be taken down in this manner. Alec, on the other hand, would be nearly impossible to defend against without Bella's gifts. Perhaps his sister's death would be enough to diminish his powers long enough to defeat him.

Once the plane landed, I had only a single goal in mind. I did not bother taking a second flight to Port Angeles, as was customary when traveling to Forks. I simply drove at the highest speed the rental car could muster. In a short time, I was back in Forks, pulling up to my family's home. They would be annoyed at my deception, I knew, but I hoped they would see that I'd had no choice.

Once again, I knocked at the door. Once again, Carlisle answered. "Edward?" He was confused. "Which Edward is this?"

"Hello Carlisle. I'm sorry that I deceived you. I'm afraid it was necessary to protect all of you when I went to visit Edward and Bella."

At this, a collective gasp was heard from all of the room's inhabitants.

"Edward, you could have been killed!" Esme scolded me.

"I know, it was a poor decision made out of desperation," I admitted. "I had to see if there was a chance that Bella might choose me instead of her own Edward. I thought perhaps that lifestyle was not to her liking."

Esme still looked stern, but her features softened slightly. I'd had Bella's best interests at heart.

"Very well, but why have you returned?" Carlisle asked.

"I'm afraid there is a greater danger than I'd suspected," I informed him. "It seems that Edward is quite confident that Alice will join the guard in time. I do not know what kind of plans are in place, but having read Edward a number of times, Aro is quite well aware of the weaknesses in Alice's visions and will be able to put together a plan. I suspect that this may move to a higher priority once Aro learns that Bella misses Alice."

Alice was plainly frightened, and she clung to Jasper, trembling slightly until Jasper was able to relax her using his talents. "If she misses me, why don't they just leave?" Alice whimpered. "They can come here any time. Surely they know that! Edward agreed to join the Volturi, but he didn't say he'd stay with them forever."

I was unable to make eye contact with any member of my family. "I'm afraid that they have no desire to return here. I think they've been somewhat brainwashed." Esme wailed in devastation, realizing that she truly had lost her son and daughter for good.

"Brainwashed?" It was Emmett who spoke. "I wouldn't have thought that possible. Neither of them wanted to kill humans."

"I believe, and this is purely speculation, that they were able to succeed because of the timing," I began. "Bella, having just been turned to a newborn, was fed plenty of human blood to satiate her thirst. Over time, given her newborn instincts, she probably came to wonder why anyone would choose a different life. Edward would have taken longer to change his viewpoint, but seeing Bella happy would have made him happy as well."

"So they took advantage of her during a weak moment," Rosalie sniffed. "I always knew the Volturi were scum."

I nodded. "I believe that is precisely what happened. Unfortunately though, there are larger problems at stake."

"I won't go with them!" Alice insisted. "I'll die first."

"Don't say that!" Jasper admonished her. "I couldn't live without you. You heard Edward's story, how miserable he was without Bella. Is that what you'd want for me?"

"Of course not, Jazz, but living with those monsters? Killing humans?" Alice's voice trailed off before she could continue, seeing the pain written in Jasper's face. By calling those who fed on human blood "monsters," she had upset him. His control was still not complete, and he'd begun to wonder over time whether he'd ever be able to be happy living this life.

"You don't _want_ to join them, do you?" Rosalie stared at Jasper incredulously. "You know what they're like! What they do! They tear covens apart in the name of increasing their own power. They kill humans completely indiscriminately, and they barely spare a second thought to killing one of our kind if they have even the slightest justification. How could you possibly…"

"I don't _want_ to join them," Jasper interrupted her. "I just don't think it's a fate worse than death. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not better suited to be a monster than one of the 'good guys' anyway," he lamented.

"You are _not_ a monster," Esme insisted. "We all struggle with the thirst. Your struggling is so much worse because of your gifts. You sense our thirst, and you believe it is your own."

"It's no excuse," Jasper muttered quietly.

"Jazz, I had no idea," Alice whispered. "If you think another life would make you happier…"

"I don't," Jasper interrupted her quickly, much to the relief of Esme and Carlisle. "Nothing would make me happier than if I could make _this_ life work for me. Sometimes though, it just seems so far out of my reach."

"I'm sorry, but there's more to it than simply making the six of you unhappy," I was forced to finally interrupt. "Alice knows about the device I possess. She doesn't know anything about how it works, but she knows that I have it, and she knows that it was possible for my family to create it with her help. If Aro reads her, or any one of you for that matter…"

"He would use it to commit great evil," Carlisle finished. "Yes, this is a somber prospect indeed. Even without Alice's help, he would eventually create a device for his own use, but it would likely take centuries, if not longer, before he could create even the basic device, much less one that would allow him to return freely. With Alice among his guard though," Carlisle stopped short, seeing how upset Alice was at the prospect of being a tool of untold malevolence.

"What do we do?" Alice's voice still hadn't risen above a whisper. Even with Jasper's help, my ordinarily unshakable sister seemed tiny and vulnerable.

"We'll need to make some contacts," Carlisle spoke with determination. "It seems that we have some time to put together a plan. We'll contact all of our friends and see if they'd be willing to make a stand against the Volturi with us when the time comes. Edward also mentioned that the wolves were willing to help in one of the timelines he visited. Perhaps, given the extraordinarily high stakes involved, they would be willing to lend a hand here as well."

I was mortified that so many others would need to be informed about the existence of the device. There was simply no way that Carlisle could convince anyone that the Volturi presented such a terrible threat without this explanation. Still, I could think of no others, vampire, human, or wolf, who possessed such inklings toward world domination as Aro.

"Really," Emmett said slowly, "we just have to come up with a strategy to take out Aro. Without him, no other member of the Volturi ever needs to find out about the device, no matter what happens."

Carlisle nodded soberly. He did not relish the idea of taking a life, particularly one he'd once considered a friend. In this case though, there was no alternative. Aro was already quite dangerous; he would be unimaginably so if he found out about the device. "I have no idea how we would accomplish such a thing," he confessed.

"It wouldn't be easy," Emmett was excited at the prospect of such a challenging fight. "He's got a lot of resources on his side. Renata alone makes it nearly impossible to attack him directly, but on top of that, he's got Jane, although she'd be easy enough for two people to take out, and Alec. I have no idea how to deal with Alec. Any strategy we've come up with would have to be carefully hidden because of Edward," he said sadly. "He'd be communicating our plans to Aro the whole time, if he truly is allied with them."

"We do have time to consider all of these things," Carlisle said firmly. "Some of our allies are quite gifted themselves. Benjamin, in particular, possesses sufficient skills to be of great use to us, if we can convince the Egyptian coven to stand with us."

"But what happens if we overthrow the Volturi?" Rosalie spoke up. "They are the only reason any law exists at all. Our kind fears them. Law and order are needed, or there would be chaos. Everywhere would be like the south was decades ago." Jasper cringed at the memory of his own upbringing.

"These are all things to take into consideration while we make our plans," Carlisle agreed. "I do not want us to take on the responsibility of installing a new government for our kind, but perhaps another coven would be interested in taking on that important task."

"The Romanians," Emmett said confidently. "They could do it, and they'd do a better job of it than the Volturi does."

Carlisle nodded his agreement. "They will be easy to convince to join in the fight. We'll need to round up everyone we can if we're to stand a chance, and we should start right away. Edward," he said, turning to me, "I know you feel that you're responsible for this, but in truth, it was just a matter of time before Aro came after Alice. At least now, we may have a legitimate chance of keeping that from happening. For that, you have my gratitude."

I wanted to help in some way, but I knew that this was impossible. There was no way of knowing yet how long it would take before the pieces would fall into place that would result in my family making a stand against the Volturi. Bella's life, in some universe, was still in danger, and I couldn't take the risk of letting her expire while I remained behind for a battle I may not be of any help in. With Bella on the side of the Volturi, if she came for the battle, even my mind-reading capabilities would be rendered useless. Besides, my own Carlisle had told me not to get involved. I'd already gotten more involved than I should have.

"I'm sorry," I told Carlisle sincerely. "I cannot stay to help."

"Of course," Carlisle replied. "This isn't your fight. You've already done more than enough to help us."

"Bella needs you," Alice spoke up. "I don't know where she is, but she's out there, and you need to find her. That's _your_ fight." Esme nodded emphatically, agreeing with Alice's assessment of the situation.

I hoped that my family would be able to put up enough of a fight. My own efforts at finding Bella would be rendered useless if Aro gained the type of power that I harnessed. I'd given them the information they needed; the rest was up to them. For the second time, I bid the Cullens of Universe Eight goodbye, and I promised that I would not return again this time.

My head was spinning as I raced back to my customary shifting point. I was no longer sure if it was safe to tell even my own family of the circumstances of my arrival each time I shifted worlds. If Aro ever paid any of them a visit at any point in time following my conversation with them, the same danger persisted. I wondered if I had already brought about the end of life as I knew it by telling one of the other groups of Cullens about my purpose. There was nothing I could do about what had already taken place though. All I could do was continue on, searching for Bella, and hoping for the best.

I was too preoccupied with my concerns about the future of all universes to psych myself up much for the next visit as the pain of shifting overtook my senses. Was this really the most important thing I could be doing? Was it irresponsible of me to continue on this journey when so much hung in the balance? Had I done irreparable harm simply by following my own family's well-intentioned plans? Would I be singlehandedly responsible for the end of the world?

This pain was much worse than the physical pain I was undergoing. So many lives. So many other peoples' Bellas could be lost because of me. Because I had been too selfish to think of anyone else or anything else than my own emptiness without Bella in my life. I hadn't seen the bigger picture. Perhaps it would be best if I gave up now, before I further endangered anyone's life with my presence.

But Bella needed me. Somewhere, this was surely true.

Was I even capable of ignoring that simple fact, even if other lives may be in danger?

The shift completed, and so I set off once more toward my family's home. I still wasn't sure if what I was doing was right, but so much had already been put in motion. There was no going home now, in any event, and I had nowhere else to go. Perhaps I would just give up here no matter what. Perhaps Universe Nine would be my permanent home, even if I could not be with this Bella.

As I approached the house, the thought of never being with Bella again overtook me. I was filled once more with emptiness and despair, agony and devastation. I didn't think I could bear this thought. I sank further and further into this desolation with each step I took, until I was nearly keeled over from the hopelessness of it all. All of the feelings I'd left behind two weeks before were back. In spite of everything I'd learned, everything I'd experienced, I had no choice. I had to keep searching. I couldn't bear this anguish.

I was surprised when the thought of continuing, of finding Bella, did nothing to lift my spirits. The barren feeling was too much to endure. I needed to regain control of myself before I introduced myself once more to my family. I tried to reach out with my mind, and I was surprised at the effort this took. I didn't feel like making any effort any longer. I felt like laying down and dying.

Strangely, the feeling continued to become more and more dreadful the closer I came to the Cullens' home.

With a gasp, I realized that this terrible feeling, so familiar to me, was not my own.


	29. Nine Lives

**Thanks for the reviews! You guys make my day, seriously! My frame of mind has been much better lately, and I'm in a writing sort of mood all over again. We'll see how long this lasts… But I've been very, very, VERY excited to write about this universe for a LONG time. This was one of the first concepts I came up with, and I had to keep pushing it back as I added more to it. Now it's finally time! *prepares to get strung up by thumbs by angry mob of reviewers***

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Twenty Nine – Nine Lives

I fought my way through the despair. I could see now that it had been a mere coincidence that I'd thought of never being with Bella at precisely the same time I'd been overcome with this emotion. The agony was unbearable, and it was almost identical to the way I'd felt just before setting off on this journey. Silently, I wished that more time had passed before I'd been forced to endure this. The sensation was too familiar, the mental scars not yet healed. In truth, I wasn't certain whether any amount of time would have ever healed those scars, even if I had a Bella of my own by my side. Still, it had been only about two weeks ago since I had felt this way, and now this feeling was being pushed on me from outside.

A feeling of dread crept in underneath the agony, and I was certain that the dread was my own. What could have possibly happened here? I wasn't getting a clear reading on anyone's thoughts, so overwhelming was the anguish I felt that was not my own. Even in the universe I'd visited where Edward was dead, my family had not felt this desolate. There had been a definite hint of sadness, but nothing like this despair that washed over the entire radius of the house. I noted with chagrin that even small animals like squirrels seemed to be avoiding the place. As uncertain as I was whether it was safe to talk to my family about the device, and as much as I wasn't looking forward to repeating this conversation again, I summoned all my willpower to lift my hand and rap quietly on the door.

Carlisle appeared, his face drawn and his eyes blackened. It appeared that the effort of feeding was too much for him. Never in all the decades I'd spent with Carlisle had I seen him look so downtrodden and miserable. Not when I'd left to drink the blood of humans. Not when he'd given me news of Bella's death. Not when he'd learned that I planned to die too. Had something happened to Esme? The thought was terribly alarming, and would explain the absolute devastation within the house. I fought back a lump in my throat as I greeted Carlisle, fighting through the agony myself.

"Hello Carlisle," I choked out.

"Edward?" His voice was full of bewilderment, and his expression flickered brighter for one-tenth of a second. "But how…"

Just then, Esme appeared behind Carlisle, causing me immediate relief for a brief moment before the despair overtook me again. Her expression was every bit as solemn as Carlisle's, perhaps even moreso. "Edward, no, that's not possible," she murmured.

At last I was able to get the briefest lock on their thoughts, and it seemed that Edward was dead here, too. Still, I didn't understand why the family would be in so much distress. They hadn't been nearly so upset by Edward's death in Universe Five, and they had brightened up considerably upon seeing me there.

Although neither Carlisle nor Esme had invited me in, I assumed that this was because they couldn't bear to speak the words, overcome with grief as they were. I stepped into the house, and my assumptions were confirmed when they moved slightly out of the way to allow me inside. I glanced around the room at my siblings. Emmett and Rosalie were sitting quietly together on the loveseat, not looking at each other, nor watching the program on television. They each looked up at me blankly. Like my parents, their expressions showed no hint of hope or any sign that happiness was within their reach. They, too, appeared not to leave the house to feed particularly often. Confusion dawned over their features for a moment upon seeing me, but they quickly sank back into the depression they'd been in.

Jasper sat alone on the couch across from them, his head buried in his hands. None of my siblings looked as if they had moved in a long time. More distressing, the three them, plus Carlisle and Esme, were the only ones present. For the first time, I noticed that I did not detect Bella's scent, either human or vampire. She was not the only one whose scent was missing. I noticed that only Rosalie wore clothing bearing any hint of style. The others were dressed quite plainly, in drab costumes that seemed to have been purchased directly out of a catalog and with no hint of flair. The family dressed for function, not fashion.

Where was Alice?

Jasper had yet to look up, although I was certain he had heard that I was there. The horrible realization struck me that my sister's absence was directly related to the mood of the household. Jasper was causing everyone around him to feel the pain of his apparent loss. Although my heart hadn't beat in 90 years, it sank realizing what Jasper was going through. Bitterly, I realized that it seemed highly unlikely that Alice would comment on my clothing, ask where Bella was, or become perplexed at the fact that she hadn't seen me.

_What's the point? I don't care if he's here. She isn't,_ Jasper thought, still not looking up from his position. A layer of dust had gathered on his clothing, and I guessed that he'd been seated there even longer than anyone else had. Surely the others would get some relief occasionally when they left the house, but even leaving the house must seem like too much effort when drowning in this type of severe depression.

"May I ask…" I began.

Carlisle drew up all his determination and interrupted me. "Let's have this conversation somewhere else." He glanced over at Jasper and added silently _I love my son, but we can't have a lengthy conversation near him. We'll all lose the will to speak._

If Jasper had noticed that he was the reason the rest of us were changing venues, he gave it no thought. He made no motion of any kind as Emmett and Rosalie slowly and deliberately rose from the love seat to join Carlisle, Esme, and myself. The five of us trod slowly, deliberately away from the house. Each step felt heavier than the last. Several times, I considered whether it wouldn't be easier to just stop and give up. Did anything really matter anyway? It took all of my considerable energy to push this thought aside, recognizing it as having been inspired by an emotion that was not my own.

After a dreadfully long time, we managed to get far enough away from the house to be outside of Jasper's sphere of influence. The sense of relief was instantaneous. I could see everyone's chest rise as they took in great breaths, and each member of my family stood a little straighter than they had before.

"Man, I just realized how thirsty I am," Emmett complained. "Edward, I'm sure you've got a lot to ask us and a lot to tell us, but do you mind if we hunt first? It's like death in there. We can't even think about being thirsty. All we can think about is how there's no point to anything… Well, you saw," he finished helplessly.

"Of course," I replied, and we all ran off together in search of some bears or deer or whatever we could find. I wasn't particularly thirsty, having fed only two days ago, so I waited for everyone else to feed sufficiently to lighten their eyes to a pale butterscotch before taking down a small deer of my own.

"Wow," breathed Emmett, "I always forget how nice it is to be out of there. When I'm in there, it's like there's no hope in anything, no reason to even try."

"This is a huge relief," Rosalie agreed. I was surprised to find that her voice still carried a hint of sadness, even separated from the source of misery as she was. I wondered privately why she willingly lived in the house with Jasper while he was causing such torment. Of course I understood why Carlisle and Esme could not bear to throw Jasper out, no matter the personal sacrifice they must make, but Rosalie and Emmett had left to live on their own under much less dire circumstances before. Why, then, would self-absorbed Rosalie subject herself to those horrors when she had another choice?

"I apologize for that, Edward. Emmett was correct; we really needed to feed while we had some time away from the house to clear our heads," Carlisle said. His features had lifted considerably, although he still seemed a bit haggard from the trauma of living under those conditions.

"How long…" I began.

"Two years," Esme's eyes were filled with pain as she answered my question before I had even time to form it. "Two and a half years since my family began to be torn apart, and two years since it was finished. I don't know how we can survive this. I don't think he can ever move on."

"Edward," Carlisle spoke up again, "forgive me, but you're dead. We'll be happy to explain everything you've missed, but how are you here?"

I took a deep breath and explained, as rapidly as I could manage, the circumstances which had brought me to this world. I owed Carlisle an explanation, but I was far more interested in what had transpired in this world than I had ever been before. The others listened intently, reacting in all of the same places that they had reacted in the other universes before this one. I plowed straight through to the part about Bella's death, since Alice was clearly not present to ask about her. I did not waste time talking about the other universes I'd visited, so eager was I to hear about what had caused this unfortunate set of circumstances. Secretly, I was also very curious as to Bella's whereabouts.

It was Carlisle who spoke once again. "Is this the first universe you've visited?"

"No," I admitted. "I have been to seven other universes before this one." I hoped that he would allow me to end my explanation here, at least for the time being.

He nodded slowly. "I won't ask you to go into details just yet, but it would help a great deal with our tale if you had visited some place that has a bit more in common with our world. So much more has happened since the incident with Bella and the wolves." I became nervous as I noticed the strained way in which he spoke Bella's name. Had she met her end here as well? Had the Volturi killed both Edward and Alice? That seemed unlikely. Esme had said that her family had begun to be torn apart two and a half years before, and that it had been finished six months later.

Rosalie held up a hand before Carlisle could continue, and he deferred to her. "Tell me, Edward," she began, her expression carefully controlled. "Have you visited any world where Edward and Bella" she too choked out both names, "had a daughter?"

This was an exceedingly specific question. Not only had she surmised that it would be possible for Edward and Bella to conceive a child, but she had even gotten the child's gender correct. I could only assume, then, that the same events had unfolded here, at least up to the point where Bella's child was born. Bella had nearly died in childbirth in Universe Two. Had that been what happened here? Had Edward then foolishly gone off to the Volturi to die, leaving his newborn child without any parents? Alice must have followed to try to stop him. But why would he wait 6 months? Esme had been very clear that there had been a six month gap between the beginning and the end of her family being torn apart. And where was the child? I couldn't imagine that Edward would have brought the girl with him, even if he had been trying to convince the Volturi that he'd created an immortal child. There would be no reason to sacrifice the innocent girl's life simply so that he could end his. I was horrified by the notion. Even when I'd been at my darkest, I would never have considered such a thing.

"Yes," I answered Rosalie, "in the first world I visited, they had a daughter."

Rosalie's eyes glossed over, and she was lost in thought for the briefest of moments. Very little came to her mind in the form of words, but I could see her grieving for a future that had been snatched away from her. "Would you mind," she finally said, still staring into the distance, "telling us how things turned out in that universe? We can tell you our story better, I think, once we have that information."

In truth, I didn't want to talk anymore. I wanted answers. But my normally proud, headstrong sister looked so saddened that I felt compelled to comply. "Carlisle had left town to purchase more blood," I recited the story from one of the many conversations I'd had with Bella during my five-day stay in Universe One. "He was to deliver the baby when he returned the next day. Bella had been drinking blood constantly and needed to – err – relieve herself as humans do." Rosalie chuckled softly, remembering how frequently she'd had to take her new sister to use the restroom. "She asked to walk, and Edward and Rosalie allowed her to do so. She dropped the partially-finished cup of blood she'd been drinking, and when she bent to pick it up, there was a complication that caused the delivery to need to take place immediately, without Carlisle.

"Rosalie was not able to handle being present because of all of the blood. Edward delivered the baby himself with Jacob's assistance," Rosalie's eyes filled with pure hatred at the mention of the wolf. "Bella very nearly died in childbirth," I informed her, assuming that this was what had gone differently in this world and trying to comfort her for being unable to save Bella. "Edward had prepared a syringe full of venom and plunged it directly into Bella's heart, then he created several more entry points of venom with his teeth. She wouldn't have survived if he hadn't acted so quickly." It was strange that I should be comforting Rosalie about Bella's death, considering that my sister had never particularly cared for Bella, but I had seen so much in the past two weeks that I was able to accept the possibility that Rosalie had been deeply affected by this event.

"And the baby?" Rosalie asked.

"The baby was fine," I finished. Had the baby died here as well?

"But did that wolf… did he…" Rosalie's voice faltered, and she was unable to continue.

Confused, I replied to the question Rosalie must have been trying to ask. "He imprinted on her, yes." Hadn't she seen what a remarkable babysitter-uncle figure Jacob had been to the little girl? Why should this upset her so much? And where was the child?

Rosalie took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "But he didn't… _take_ her?" My sister's lip was quivering as she silently wished that she were still able to cry.

"Take her? No, he would never have taken her from her parents like that."

"Edward _lived_?" Esme's voice had a much higher pitch than usual.

"Yes, of course," I said, furrowing my brow in confusion. Why would _Edward_ have died during the birth of his child?

"I'm sorry, Edward, this must all be terribly confusing for you," Carlisle broke in, much to my relief. "Rosalie, do you need a moment, or shall I begin telling Edward the story?"

"I'll be fine," Rosalie whimpered, her face buried in Emmett's chest. "I should have let her walk. It's all my fault. I should have just let her walk. None of this would have happened if I'd just…"

"Shhhh, Rose, you didn't know. You did what you thought was best." Emmett comforted her.

"Rosalie never let Bella walk to the restroom under her own power," Carlisle began. "She was very insistent on carrying her each time. Bella grew more and more insistent about wanting to walk and stretch out her legs, but Rosalie insisted that she would never need to stretch again soon, and she only needed to get through a little more time. I delivered Renesmee as planned. Edward offered me his assistance, and Jacob refused to leave her side, having granted Edward permission to turn her and wanting to oversee the process. To say the least, it was a difficult birth, even with all the precautions we'd taken.

"As soon as the baby was born, I took her out of the room to get her cleaned up, thinking that Edward was more than equipped to handle Bella by this point and that he wouldn't want to leave her side. It took me some time to get enough of the blood washed off that I felt safe handing her to Rosalie downstairs. Unbeknownst to me, a quiet standoff was taking place upstairs. I suddenly heard a loud ripping noise and ran upstairs as quickly as I could.

"When I got back into the room, Jacob had transformed into a wolf and had killed Edward. He was certain that nothing Edward could do would save Bella, and he blamed Edward for her death. He was fueled with rage, and he tried to attack me as well. With the aid of the rest of the family, except for Rosalie who was tending to Renesmee, we were able to convince him to let me into the room. Bella had lost precious seconds, and her heart had stopped beating."

I was holding my breath. I could scarcely believe that Jacob had killed Edward. Bella had told me that he'd considered it briefly in Universe One, but I hadn't realized he'd been so serious about the thought. Bella's heart had stopped, so she must have died too.

Carlisle continued. "When he realized that he'd reacted too quickly and taken actions that could not be reversed, Jacob phased back into human form and started to run away in his grief. He caught a glimpse of Renesmee on his way out, and he found himself unable to flee. He imprinted on the baby and could not bear to leave her side. He was thrown rather unceremoniously out of the house by the others, who quite reasonably feared for the child's life. They didn't understand that he'd imprinted on her, but they did understand that he'd just murdered Edward.

"I was able to restart Bella's heart, but her brain had gone without oxygen for some time. I was afraid there may be permanent damage, and for a moment, I considered letting her die. Would she want to live for all eternity under those circumstances and without Edward? I couldn't be sure whether the venom would heal the damage that had been done, but in the end, I decided that Renesmee deserved the chance to have at least one parent to care for her. Edward's vial of venom had been broken in the scuffle with Jacob, and so I was forced to resort only to biting Bella to turn her, alternating between biting her and manually pumping her heart."

Had he actually been successful in changing Bella? I still hadn't breathed. Surely if she was alive, I would have noticed her scent in the house.

"It took much longer than normal for the venom to finally take effect and for her heart to beat on its own, and due to her extremely weakened state, coupled with the amount of time we'd waited to begin the process of turning her, Bella burned for eight days instead of the normal three." Carlisle went on.

I breathed again, taking in a sharp intake of air at the thought of burning for _eight days._ I knew of no other vampire who had endured it for so long. But even so, it sounded as if she had survived.

"During those eight days," Rosalie spoke up again, her voice shaking as she talked, "the dog would not leave the front porch, begging us to let him in to see the baby. He apologized over and over for killing Edward, but we couldn't allow him to come anywhere near the baby. We wouldn't let him or any of the other dogs inside. Edward wasn't there to read his motives, and Alice couldn't see the future as it involved either the wolves or the baby, so we couldn't take any chances on whether he might kill her as well. Even though it looked like Bella might live after all, we didn't know if he was still a threat. He explained to us about imprinting, but we assumed he was making it up. It does sound awfully phony."

Carlisle picked up the story once more. "We really weren't sure whether Bella was going to survive or just go on burning forever. By the sixth day, we were discussing the possibility of killing her ourselves. The pain must have been unbearable, and it had gone on for far too long. Ultimately, we decided to wait until it had been nine days before we would take any drastic action. Esme couldn't bear the idea of losing another child, and we also feared that doing this would be all the excuse Jacob would need to bring the entire pack in to kill us all. Seeing her suffer like that was terrible, but if there was a chance that she could pull through, we wanted to give her that opportunity.

"The day before we'd planned to take her life as a mercy killing, Bella finally opened her eyes. We weren't sure what to expect. Of course we'd expected her to be like a typical newborn, but she was…" Carlisle's voice trailed off.

I recalled how Bella had never been a typical newborn in any world I'd visited where she had been turned, even in the universe where she'd had no advanced knowledge of vampires. They must have been surprised at how civilized she was.

"It was like she'd lost all of her humanity," Emmett spoke up.

This, I had not expected.

"Yes," Carlisle agreed somberly. "She operated solely on instinct, like an animal. She wouldn't speak to us, and she didn't seem to understand when we were speaking to her. She displayed no sign of recognizing any of us, including Renesmee. We weren't able to get her under control at all before she left the house and ran away. She seemed to see us all as threats. Alice and Jasper chased after her for several days, trying to talk sense into her or calm her down, but eventually, she managed to elude them. We never saw her again," he finished.

So Bella was out there somewhere? My chest swelled with hope. It would not be easy to find her, but I was sure that I could do it. She must have been in shock after burning for so long, or she had gone off in search of Edward. She wouldn't have realized that he was gone. In that case, she would be thrilled to see me at last.

"Meanwhile," Esme started to tell a portion of the story, "the wolves finally left, except for Jacob. Jacob continued to stay behind and beg to be allowed to see the baby. We didn't understand why this was so important to him. He got Sam and Quil to come down and explain to us about their experiences with imprinting, and we finally started to see the problem, but we agreed as a family that it would be too traumatic for Renesmee to be around the man who had killed her father. We still refused to let him see her."

"At that point," Rosalie picked up where Esme left off, "we still thought Bella might come back soon. We all kept watch over the baby, and we found out about her remarkable gift of projecting her thoughts onto others. She kept asking for Edward and Bella, and it was so hard to explain that Edward was gone and Bella might never come back too." Rosalie swallowed hard. "After a couple of months, Renesmee started to see me as a sort of mother figure. I'm ashamed to say, even with the loss of my brother and sister, I'd never been happier in some ways. Having a child to care for, it was simply amazing. I was alarmed at the rate she was growing, but all we could do was wait and see what happened. Jacob wouldn't allow anyone into or out of the house. Irina came by from the Denali clan to apologize for her recent behavior and try to make amends, but Jacob chased her away. She called later, and we filled her in on the situation. She confessed to us that it was probably better that she hadn't been allowed in before hearing our explanation, because she might have believed Renesmee to be an immortal child, based upon our description, and that was a very serious sore spot for her."

Carlisle took over again. "It was hard for us to focus on much besides Bella, even after a couple of months had passed. Alice was constantly trying to 'see' her. It was difficult for her to see anything with Jacob maintaining a constant presence outside the house, not allowing her to leave, but she would sit in the other end of the house and occasionally be able to catch brief snippets. She said Bella had all but disappeared to her. She couldn't see her future more than a few minutes in advance, because Bella was operating so heavily on instinct now. She didn't make decisions ahead of time. She just ran, hunted when she felt like hunting, and hid when she felt threatened. From what tiny bits of information we were able to get, it seemed that Bella was afraid to go near human civilizations and was staying mainly to wooded areas, so at least we weren't too afraid of her being caught, but it was going to prove impossible to track her down once we were able to look for her again. We were making plans nevertheless, hoping that Jacob would give up any day." Carlisle sighed and hung his head. "Without Edward, he was free to make plans with his own pack and with Sam. We had no idea how dire the situation was becoming."

Emmett took over the story at this point. "After six months, with us still not showing any sign of giving in and letting him see the baby, Jacob finally left, and we thought we were finally free to go looking for Bella. Alice told us roughly where she thought Bella was from her visions, and Carlisle and Esme went looking for her. We only wanted to send two people away so there would be more to guard Renesmee in case Jacob came back again, and we all thought Carlisle and Esme had the best chance of convincing her to come home." Emmett swallowed a lump in his throat. "That night, Jacob did come back. But he brought others with him." Despite the fact that he was speaking of one of the most exciting battles he'd ever fought in, Emmett's voice had no joy in it. "He brought all of them. Both packs. Not a single one of them stayed behind. I guess there were about a dozen of them, but it was hard to say. They all banded together to kidnap his imprint, so he would never have to be without her. Apparently, the pain of being separated from her was too much for Jacob to endure, and that caused his entire pack, plus Sam, to suffer. Sam's suffering caused _his_ entire pack to suffer, and in the end, they could only see one solution.

"We fought. But we were so outnumbered. Rosalie was like some kind of killing machine. She was so protective of that baby; we started trying to fight as a group, but then she started taking a couple of them down on her own. They knew she was the one that they _had_ to get through in the end, but they just struck wherever they saw a weak spot, trying to lower our defenses. Now, let me ask you, Edward. If you were a pack of werewolves and you were facing down me, Jasper, Alice, and an enraged Rosalie protecting a baby she saw as her own, which one is the weak link?"

I looked away, unable to voice my thoughts.

"Exactly," Emmett said dejectedly. "Alice was always a pretty good fighter against other vampires, because she could see what they were going to do and react before they did it. Against the wolves though, she didn't stand a chance. Jasper tried to fight them off by himself, but I was busy trying to keep Rosalie from getting herself killed. The pack was working together with their single-mind thing, and Rose and I didn't even notice that Jasper and Alice were trying to fight off two-thirds of the wolves while we only had a third of them. We were having enough trouble with our third…"

Rosalie grimaced. "I should never have broken ranks like I did. I was just so _angry_… Everything that happened is all my fault."

"Shh, Rose, you were trying to protect Renesmee." Emmett told her.

"Anyway, it was the female wolf that took Alice down. Once Alice was gone, Jasper was too devastated to keep fighting. Rose and I couldn't hold off the entire pack by ourselves, and we hadn't managed to take down any more of them since the two Rosalie killed. They got through our defenses easily and took the baby and ran. Seth stayed behind and went human again. He'd been ordered by Jacob to take part in the fight, and he felt horrible for what had happened. He kept apologizing over and over for what his sister did, but Jasper didn't even hear him. Rose didn't either, she was so distraught about the baby. Finally, I just told him that I understood, but he needed to leave before either one of them snapped out of it. He went back into his own territory, and we haven't seen any of the wolves since then. They broke the treaty," he added darkly, "but we don't have the manpower to take them on, especially not on their own turf."

"If only we'd been there," Esme broke down.

Emmett shook his head. "It wouldn't have made any difference, Esme. It honestly wouldn't have."

"Alice might have lived," Esme insisted. "They probably still would have gotten through and kidnapped the baby, but Alice might have lived."

"I really doubt it. If anything, they might have gone after you instead." Emmett looked away as he spoke. As difficult as it had been for him to lose Alice, he found the idea of losing Esme to be even more distasteful. The only advantage this would have offered would be that Jasper's emotions would be more bearable.

This was so much to take in. I felt terribly about the losses my family had endured here. They'd lost Edward, then Bella, then Alice, and finally Renesmee. The fact that Renesmee was surely being given the best of care likely came as no comfort to them. The task of trying to move away from Forks must have seemed too daunting to undertake while under the dark cloud of Jasper's emotional state. I understood at last why Rosalie and Emmett hadn't left. Rosalie wanted to remain behind in case Renesmee was ever returned. If this ever happened, I was sure that Rosalie and Emmett would leave to raise Renesmee on their own, away from Jasper's influence, where she could have a relatively happy existence. I didn't voice my thought that this would never happen. I had seen the connection that Jacob had with Renesmee. He would never let her out of his sight.

I hated myself for thinking so, but the most important aspect of the story to me had been that Bella was out there somewhere. I had no idea how to find her. Alice might have been able to lock onto her briefly, but Alice was dead. There was nothing I could do, apart from trying to track her down, turning over one leaf at a time until I found her. Even if I had the aid of a tracker, Bella's gifts would make her immune to being tracked. In two and a half years' time, she could have gone anywhere. Still, she was somewhere in _this_ world, and I needed to locate her. She had been alone for far too long. I would find Bella. My Bella.


	30. Cry Wolf

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Thirty – Cry Wolf

All right, so I'm not a saint. I've still managed to keep my mouth shut up to this point. It's not my story to tell. Sure, sure, when you hear the lee—excuse me, the _Cullens—_tell the story, I come off as the bad guy. I'll be the first to admit that some of the things I did were crazy, vile, and wrong. But I'm here to set the record straight. Even if I can't do it as eloquently as Edward Cullen.

I may not be as well-read as Edward, but I know a few things too. "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions," or so they say. I never really understood what that meant. How can you have nothing but the best of intentions and still end up going to Hell? Well, let's just say I get it now. If I could take it all back, I would. But my heart was always, _always_ in the right place.

I was in love with Bella Swan. Even if you doubt each and every other word I have to say, never doubt that. For awhile, she was my world. I couldn't even imagine life without her. It took her awhile to realize she was in love with me too, but I don't blame her for that. From everything I've seen, vampires fall in love pretty much the same way we imprint. Bella had never fallen in love the _normal_ way, so how was she supposed to know what it felt like? It was all right though. I was sure enough of it for the both of us.

I blamed Edward for causing her to be this empty shell of a person for so long, and I have to say, I patted myself on the back an awful lot for helping her back out of it. Then, of course, something I didn't expect happened, and I couldn't be around her anymore. After what Sam had done to Emily, I couldn't take that chance. I was sure I'd be able to be around her again one day though. That's why I kept having my dad tell her that I was sick. If I'd told her I didn't want to see her anymore, well, that was permanent. And I'd be breaking my promise by hurting her. If she just kept thinking that I had an extended illness though, maybe she wouldn't be quite so sad about it. Maybe she'd realize that sooner or later, we could be together again, and she'd look forward to that time instead of freaking out. Hell, maybe during that time, she'd figure out that she loved me. But that wasn't how it happened. She did freak out. I should've known she would, but what was I supposed to do?

Then _she_ just took off and left _me_ as soon as that bloodsucker traipsed back into her life. Like I was yesterday's garbage. Maybe I just didn't love her enough. I couldn't let her go. I had to make her understand, had to make her realize how she felt about me. I knew I didn't stand a chance of being picked over Edward, but she needed to _know_ what she was giving up. Honestly, I think I must have had was a little streak of masochism. I knew she was going to give me up anyway. How do you suppose that made old Second Best Jacob Black feel? To have the girl of your dreams tell you that she loves you, but you're still oh-so-easy to walk away from? But I could see that Edward loved her, in his way. The only way he knew how to. Maybe I could even see that he loved her more than I did. Didn't make it right. Didn't change the fact that he was stealing her away from _everyone_ and _everything_ she cared about. How is that love?

Then he knocked her up with what I thought was a demon baby. At the time, all I could see was that the thing was killing her from the inside out, and it was driving me to the point of insanity. What was wrong with her? How could she love Edward so much that she was perfectly content to die just to have his demon-spawn? It felt like I was being rejected all over again, but in a new, even sicker way. She was literally choosing death over me. "Hey Jake, we had some good times, but I'd rather die than give you a chance. Sorry about that. You mind if I kick you a couple times while you're down? Oh, but I can't stand up so good. Pregnant, you know. Why don't you crawl over here so I can kick you?" Pretty sweet, right?

And in spite of all of it, I loved that girl more than life itself.

That's why I snapped when I thought she was dead.

I really didn't _mean_ to kill Edward. That wasn't what I set out to do at all. I just wanted to be there while she was turned. Maybe it was morbid curiosity. Maybe I just wanted to spend every last second of her human life with her. I really didn't know, at the time, why I felt so compelled to be there. And then, as soon as Carlisle pulled that baby out of her and left the room with it, the pull I'd felt to Bella was gone. Not _completely_ gone. But over the past month, I'd been drawn to her even more than I'd ever been before, and suddenly, that was gone. That was where I made my mistake. I assumed that meant she was dead. What else could it possibly mean? I was staring at her, and it sure seemed like she wasn't Bella anymore. The way I'd felt about her throughout her entire pregnancy had been so overpowering, feeling this lesser type of love again… I didn't recognize it anymore.

Then Edward came at her with that needle and I just lost it. Hadn't he desecrated her body enough? Hadn't he destroyed enough of the girl I loved? Did I really have to endure one more insult? I didn't speak; I didn't have to. Edward knew my every thought. _Don't you dare stick that needle in her. I know I gave you my permission to save her, but it's too late for that. If you desecrate her body like that, I will kill you where you stand._ Some part of me must have recognized that she wasn't dead, and that's why I don't think I would have reacted the same way if I hadn't known Carlisle would be back soon. If her only chance at continuing to exist would have lay with Edward, I think I would've let him try anyway. If only I'd been able to think more rationally.

Edward didn't really have time for my shenanigans. His wife was dying, and I was too idiotic to comprehend that she wasn't already dead. He kept coming after her with the needle, and I shoved him back. He came after her again, and I shoved him back again. On and on this went, until he finally turned the damn needle on me. He knew it was poisonous to me, and he didn't even say anything out loud. No threats. Just pointed it at me like he wasn't afraid to use it.

And that's when I lost it. By then, I was normally so controlled. It'd been quite awhile since I'd phased without meaning to, but seeing him standing there threatening to kill _me_ after he'd already destroyed my entire reason for living, I couldn't hold back anymore. I went wolf, and I tore him to shreds before I even had time to think about what I was doing. Here was a vampire, my sworn enemy, threatening my life after killing the girl I kind of saw as my mate. I was a pretty good kid, but there's only so much anyone can take. When you're half animal, that "so much" is even less.

I know now that he'd done it out of desperation. Figured if he could get me to back down for 2 seconds, that'd be all the time he needed to start the process of saving Bella. I don't think he ever actually intended to stick me with that thing, but _I'm_ not the one who can read minds. Besides, I'd spent so much time living as a wolf that the animal instincts were stronger than they were for most of the others. How does an animal react when you threaten it? Does it sit down and have a conversation about whether you really, really mean it, or does it attack? Yep, that's what I did. I do wish I hadn't. But I can't change it now.

Carlisle came back and I still hadn't come to my senses yet. I was still in full wolf-mode. There wasn't much of anything human about me right then. Here's what I saw: A dead human, who meant something to me, a vampire I'd just killed for trying to threaten my life, and now along came another vampire. Naturally, I felt threatened all over again. I was ready to kill him, too. He ran off, then came back with some more leeches, and I knew I was outnumbered. I was scared. I knew I was going to die. My life flashed before my eyes.

That's when I remembered who I was. _What_ I was.

Then I realized what I'd done.

I changed back into a human. I was too ashamed for any of my pack to hear what had just happened. I didn't know what I was going to do next, but I knew I had to get out of here. I did the only thing I could think of, and I ran.

But on my way out, I saw her.

Tiny little thing she was, not quite a human, not quite a vampire. Face of an angel. An angel that the Heavens had created just for good old Second Best Jacob Black. Everything in the entire world made sense all of a sudden, because she _was_ everything in the entire world, and _she_ made sense. What was I running from? Where was there to go? The entire world was right here, in this room.

At the same time, I realized why I'd been so certain that Bella was dead. I thought, when I lost my pull to her, that meant she was gone. But really, the pull hadn't been from her. It had been from the baby that was growing inside her. The pull wasn't gone. It had just moved. Bella was going to be fine. That made me happy. I did still love Bella, after all. I just loved Renesmee more. It was the same thing that had happened to Bella with me and Edward, and the same thing that had happened to Sam with Leah and Emily.

The next thing I knew, I was surrounded by vampires again. They were furious with me, and I can't stress this enough: They had every right to be. I'd just killed one of them. I couldn't exactly expect them to ask me to stay for dinner after that. "Oh, you killed Edward while he was trying to save his wife? Well, he probably had it coming. Potatoes?" Yeah, life doesn't work that way. But I was so desperate to be near that baby. The further away from her I got, the more the rest of the world resembled a black hole. I was sure if I got too far away, I'd get sucked in.

They managed to shove me out of the house, but they couldn't shove me any further than that. I didn't sleep. I didn't eat. I just paced back and forth, pounding on the door, begging to be let in. They couldn't understand what in the world I wanted at first. I tried everything in my power. I told them about imprinting. Blondie thought I was full of it, so I got Sam and Quil to come down and explain to them how it worked. They didn't hate Sam and Quil. Sam and Quil hadn't killed Edward and had never expressed that the baby was responsible for what happened to Bella. So they listened. And they believed it. But they turned me away anyway.

Now, really, here's the part where I have to insist that I'm not the bad guy. When Charlie told Edward he wasn't allowed to come by and visit Bella anymore, how did Edward handle it? Did he turn around and go home? "Well gosh, Bella is my true love and there will never be another after her, but phooey, her folks say I can't see her so I guess I'll just take up paintball?" Hell no! He snuck in her window at night to spend time with her while Charlie was asleep.

Yeah, if it had been that simple for me, I'm sure I would've done the same.

But how does a werewolf sneak into a house of vampires while they sleep? They don't sleep, and they would've smelled me the second I crossed their threshold, no matter which window I went in.

Every day that went by, I got more and more desperate. It was like I was trapped in a box, and every day, the box got a little smaller, and the light got a little further away. Edward went three years without Bella, and I'm willing to recognize that he went through hell. I went six months without Renesmee. Don't try to tell me I don't know what Hell feels like, too.

In wolf form, I was able to communicate with my own pack, plus Sam. They couldn't stand when I went wolf. Being separated from one's imprint is just about the worst feeling imaginable. Those who had imprinted were particularly sympathetic, but even the ones who hadn't were affected. Every single time I shifted into wolf form, I made everyone miserable. I couldn't retire from being a wolf like some of my ancestors had done though. It's only possible to do that once the threat of vampires is over. We may have had a truce with the Cullens, but try telling that to your own instincts. Truces don't work on those. Seriously, if a car's barreling down at you, no amount of telling yourself that your buddy is driving that car and he's not going to run you over is going to keep you from jumping out of the way. It's pure instinct. You can't reason with it. So none of us had the option to stop being wolves as long as there were vampires in town, even if they weren't the type we had to protect people from.

We were all out of options. Either everybody was supposed to live with this misery day in, day out, every single time I turned into a wolf (which was frankly pretty often, considering I had to eat and bathe in wolf-form because I refused to go too far from the Cullens' doorstep), or we had to do something. Sam couldn't stand to watch all of his brothers (and sister) torn apart like this day after day. In the end, he made the call.

He summoned me back home. He didn't have the authority to order me, but he convinced me that if I came back for the day, we'd solve everything once and for all that night. I came back. Every step I took away from Renesmee was like stabbing needles full of vampire venom in my flesh over and over again. I knew it was for the greater good. She had to be in my life, and I had to be in hers. I was a reasonable guy. I'd been perfectly willing to share her with her adopted family. They wouldn't let me have any part of her life at all. I knew they had a perfectly good reason for their standpoint, but having a perfectly good reason just isn't enough when the force is that strong. You can come up with a list of perfectly good reasons why the sun isn't supposed to come up, but it's still going to come up.

Sam was pretty rational when he called everybody together and formed the battle plan. We're not going to kill any of them, he said. We're not even going to fight. We're just going to get Jacob inside. Once they see he isn't a threat to the baby, they're bound to let him stay. They might not ever forgive him for what he did to Edward, but at least they'll see that it's in the baby's best interest for him to be around.

It was a damn good idea.

Too bad I'm a world-class screwup.

We went back that night, and I saw that there were only four of them. I got excited. I got way too excited. I started yelling a bunch of crazy things about how we had to do _whatever it took_ to get past them. Man, I was so inexperienced at doling out Alpha orders that I didn't even realize that was what I'd done, until I saw Quil, Embry, and the Clearwaters charging. I could've taken it back. There was still time. But I'd gone all day in this empty blackness being so far away from Renesmee. I was really, really desperate. I didn't care who had to suffer. All I cared about was being near the world's only light source.

Blondie was just as nuts as me. Quil and Embry only lasted a few seconds against her. I don't think any of them even had a clue which wolves they killed or cared. Once those two were down, Sam's pack started to charge too. You don't just kill a couple of wolves and expect their brothers not to retaliate. I was even more furious. They were my brothers and my lifelong friends, and now they were dead. _Find the weak links, take them out, kill them, they deserve to die!_ I was barking out more Alpha orders and I didn't even know it.

Barking. Awesome, even I'm making dog jokes about myself.

Sam's pack couldn't hear me, but Sam relayed his agreement that finding the weak links was the best way to go. He didn't order his group to kill anyone, but we were pretty quick to figure out that Pixie was the weak link. The blond guy was pretty scary to look at with all his scars, and the dark-haired guy was almost as big as any of us was in human form. Blondie had already killed Quil and Embry, so nobody was too keen on making a legitimate strike on her. The plan was just to keep her and the big guy distracted, jumping around them and staying out of their reach, and the rest would go after Pixie. We still had the scarred kid to contend with, but he couldn't take us all on by himself.

I gave out the order to divide up, one-third on Blondie and Biggie, two-thirds on Pixie and Scars. Naturally, that meant one of my own pack of three had to be on the distraction team, so that was Seth. Leah and I ended up on Pixie and Scars. Sam had intended to just incapacitate Pixie, but Leah didn't have a choice. I'd already accidentally given her an Alpha order to _kill_ Pixie, so that's exactly what she did.

Sam was very, very angry with me when we actually killed one of them. I mean, I'd already pretty well broken the treaty when I'd killed Edward, but this was in cold blood. Well, maybe not blood. Point being, we'd had another perfectly good option, which was just pinning her down and getting through, and we didn't even try it.

Well, now there was absolutely zero chance that the Cullens would ever let me come visit the baby again, so I did the only thing I could think of. I wasn't going to live without her. So I grabbed her and ran while everybody else kept Blondie and Biggie distracted. Scars was plenty distracted already.

Sure, sure, I knew it was wrong. I knew she shouldn't have been taken away from her family. I knew that I didn't have the first clue how to take care of a baby, much less a half-vampire baby. And I knew she was going to miss her family and be sad. But dammit, this was bigger than all of those things. Bigger than morals and ethics. Bigger than life and death.

This was _love_.

Let me make one thing absolutely clear: I am not, nor have I ever been, a pedophile. I know how it's got to seem when I'm kidnapping a baby in the name of love. It's not like that. I'd tear the head off of anybody who even dared to think about my Nessie that way. Sure, sure, I guess when she's old enough, that kind of thing is bound to happen. She's not old enough. Period. I don't worry about it. I don't think about it. All I worry about is making her happy right now. That means taking her to hunt animals. That means letting her bite me whenever she pleases. That means letting her play with anything I own like it's a toy.

But the one thing it also means that I can't figure out a way to give her is… Somehow, I have to let her see Blondie again. She wants to be around me most of all. Second Best Jacob Black is no longer second best. But she wants to see Blondie again. She's made that clear. Over and over. Every day.

I don't know what to do. It's been two years since I kidnapped her. I could keep her away for awhile in the name of her own safety. If I brought her back there and a fight broke out, I didn't know if I'd be able to keep her safe. But now that she's gotten old enough to take off running on her own, that argument is really running out, and now the part where I literally can't avoid giving her anything she wants is taking over.

I can't exactly just walk back out to the Cullens' house and let her visit. That'd go so smoothly. "Oh hey Jacob, good to see you, hey, remember that time when you killed Edward and Alice? Man, those were good times. Tea? All right then, you and Nessie run along now."

It may not seem like it, but I feel so horrible about what happened to Pixie. Edward, too. And Bella, I saw how she looked when she left the house. She didn't have a clue who she was, who I was, or who anybody else was. At least she's still alive. Or whatever it is bloodsuckers are. But not a day goes by when I don't think about how I ruined everything. I know that no amount of suffering I endure could ever bring back what I cost the Cullens, but I suffer all the same. I'll have to live for the rest of my life with the knowledge that I ruined the lives of a group of perfectly good people. Yeah, I guess they are people. They were just trying to live their lives, and all I did was come along and muck up every chance I got. If you went back over everything that happened from the day Bella moved to Forks and counted every stupid thing I did, you'd run out of fingers and toes before you even got to the part where Edward came back. I guess that's just my lot in life. Being given chances, and burning them on stupid choices.

But my heart is _always_ in the right place.

For all the good that does me.

And now, I'm going to screw up all over again.

If I hand her over, I'll never be allowed to see her again.

If I bring her by, I'll never be allowed to leave with her.

If I keep her here, she'll never be happy.

What the hell am I supposed to do now?


	31. Cloud Nine

**I know a Jacob chapter was a serious WTF moment, especially after 29 consecutive Edward chapters. Multiverse will **_**always**_** be****Edward's story, but I won't promise that we'll never hear from Jacob again. That part is so undecided, Alice wouldn't be able to see a thing if she checked!**

**Argh, I want so badly to make little ominous remarks... This part is so exciting to me, you have no idea!**

**Please note that Chapter 29, previously title Cloud Nine, has been renamed to Nine Lives. Cloud Nine was more suited for this chapter.  
**

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Thirty One – Cloud Nine

I was being extraordinarily selfish, relishing in the moment while I considered the now indisputable fact that I had _finally_ found a universe that met all of my criteria. Bella Nine was alive and well, and apparently, she was single. Edward Nine had already done the not-quite-so-difficult work of causing her to fall in love with him. All I really had to do was locate her. I was already considering where we would live once I had managed this insurmountable task. We could relocate to get away from Jasper's dark cloud of doom, but I didn't think Bella would want that. She would want to remain in relative proximity to her daughter in case an agreement could be reached with the wolves. I could scarcely fathom the idea of spending the remainder of my virtually endless existence living in that kind of agony. Three years was quite long enough to live that way.

Perhaps…

No, it was too dangerous. I'd already determined that the device's mere existence was enough to draw the attention of the Volturi, and once it had, no one and nothing was safe. My journey was drawing to a close. The only reasonable conclusion to this expedition was the destruction of the device, and the hope that I hadn't already brought about the end of all things.

But Jasper could be careful, couldn't he?

With pursed lips, I considered whether it was worth the risk. My family had taken this risk for my benefit, and it seemed that it was about to work out. The Cullens of Universe Nine would certainly miss Jasper, but they would be ecstatic to know that he was on his way to his own redemption. I was also certain that they would welcome me into their home with open arms, particularly once I'd managed to track down Bella. Jasper would likely have an even more difficult time finding an Alice who was still alone than I'd had; Jasper and Alice had been an entity for such a long time. Few decisions would impact their relationship. Nevertheless, I'd heard enough of Jasper's stories during his time in the South with Maria to recognize that it was not the slightest bit inconceivable that there could be a number of universes where he had moved just a fraction of a second too slowly to survive, or that there may be a place where he had never left with Peter and Charlotte, choosing instead to remain with Maria for all time. This would be a most unfortunate choice for the Jasper in that universe, based upon the one and only time I'd ever met Maria, but it could work out quite nicely for this Jasper.

_What is his problem?_ Rosalie's thought broke my concentration, and I quickly brought myself away from my musings.

"I was considering a few things," I said apologetically. I wasn't quite ready yet to inform my family of my plan to potentially send Jasper on his own mission, since mine was nearly done. I hadn't yet determined whether this was a good idea. Jasper was highly intelligent, and he was, for the most part, well in control of himself. All the same, it may present too much of a risk to send him off on his own. Not only did I need to consider the threat of the Volturi, but, as much as I wanted to trust Jasper, I didn't feel entirely assured that he would be able to handle being around the happiness that his counterparts and their own Alices would generate. There was also concern as to whether he would find himself able to resist the impulse to kill humans when he was traveling in a world other than his own, where he would likely never be caught. He'd had a few "slip-ups" in the past, and he'd considered "cheating" in order to defeat the newborn army in Universe Two. Probably here as well. There was much to consider, and it wouldn't do to provide anyone with false hope until I could be more confident of what I would do.

"What kinds of things were you considering?" Emmett asked curiously. Although Emmett had always preferred physical conflict to mental ones, having spent the past two years living under the shroud of misery had left him excited for anything other than contemplating the uselessness of existence.

"I was considering," I lied, "whether there was any possible way of getting the wolves to see reason."

Rosalie eyed me suspiciously. The fact that she lacked the ability to read minds did nothing to increase her susceptibility to deception. _Well, even if he _is_ lying, he does seem to actually want to help,_ she finally decided. "Not that we've been able to think of," she sniffed.

"Do you know _which_ two wolves were killed in the scuffle?" I asked. This information probably didn't make a difference, but anything was possible.

"Uhh, Fido and Rex?" Emmett couldn't tell much difference between one wolf and another.

"We aren't really very adept at telling them apart," Esme explained, embarrassed. "Most of us can pick out Jacob, Leah, and Seth, because we've seen them in both forms, as well as Sam, because he's the main pack's Alpha. The ones we've only seen as wolves, we can't tell apart because we haven't been told who is who. Edward was able to tell them apart because he could see their thoughts, and Bella could tell them apart because she'd seen all of them in both forms." She spoke wistfully of her fallen son and daughter.

"It wasn't any of those," Rosalie added. She tried to picture in her mind which two wolves she'd killed, but in her fury, she had only really noticed fangs and claws. Emmett's memory was no more helpful. He'd been so focused on his fear that Rosalie might get hurt that he hadn't even glanced at the wolves. The others had brought them back when the battle ended, evidently feeling that it was tantamount to desecration to leave them on vampire land.

"It probably doesn't matter anyway," I pondered lamely. "I just wondered if it might help to gain some type of strategic advantage."

"I don't see how it would," Carlisle told me. "They have all the advantages. They no longer cross into our territory for any reason. If we wanted a confrontation, we'd be forced to bring it to them."

"And I doubt they'd be interested in talking," Emmett added darkly. "It'd be eat the vampires first, ask questions later."

"Perhaps," I mumbled. An idea occurred to me. "Do you suppose they'd be more willing to try _talking_ if they saw a ghost?"

A slow smile spread over Rosalie's face, but she quickly shook it off when Esme spoke up. "We couldn't ask you to do that, Edward. You could get killed all over again. I couldn't…" Esme's voice faltered in her throat. As much as Rosalie wanted to get Rensemee back, she, too, didn't think she would be able to stand watching Edward die a second time.

"You could be right. After I find Bella, I'll persuade her to talk to him," I said confidently.

Esme and Carlisle exchanged a worried look, and Rosalie and Emmett's expressions mirrored theirs. _I don't think he understands…_ This thought, or a variation of it, was shared among all four Cullens.

"Edward, weren't you paying attention?" Emmett was doing his best to sound comforting, but he merely sounded frustrated. "She's not…"

"She's not how you remember her," Esme finished, interrupting Emmett in case he had something crasser in mind.

"I understand that she's a vampire now," I said patiently. "I've seen Bella as a vampire a few times now. Over the last two weeks, I've grown to accept that was always the path her life was meant to take."

The same look of concern was still written all over my family's faces. "That's not precisely what Esme meant, Edward," Rosalie told me. There was no trace of her usual haughtiness. Her memory drifted back to the image of Bella darting around the house, growling and hissing, before finally locating the front door and dashing out. It didn't look so unlike the Bella I'd observed in Universe Seven. When she'd been changed, she'd run from one corner of the house to the other several times before making any attempt at communication. Of course this Bella was even more frightened, if she'd had any awareness whatsoever of Edward's death. I couldn't understand what the problem was.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Edward, I'm not sure whether she suffered brain damage before being turned, or whether it was the extended period of time she spent undergoing the change, but I don't think she retained any of her human memories or tendencies."

"All right. Then I'll just have to start over with her. Alice didn't remember what it was like to be human either." Esme cringed at the mention of my sister, and I instantly regretted bringing her up.

"It's not going to be that simple, son." Carlisle's words were flat, emotionless. "Your sister had some idea of her own existence and intelligence. She also had her visions to help guide her." Carlisle had carefully avoided using Alice's name again.

"It doesn't matter to me how difficult it's going to be. This is what I've been searching for. If I have to get her to fall in love with me all over again, then that's what I'll do," I persisted.

"Edward, I—" Esme began, but I cut her off.

"Just tell me where you looked for her two years ago. That will be as good of a starting point as any."

No one was willing to speak up. Fortunately, Emmett had remembered the conversation with Alice involuntarily. _It doesn't look like she's gone very far,_ Alice had told them, relief in her voice. _She's well outside of Forks, but I think the area where I saw her is still part of Washington. It looks like one of the forests on the other side of Seattle._ This information had been fairly unspecific, since there was quite a large forested area on the other side of Seattle, comprising approximately twenty percent of the state. Still, it was good news. If Bella hadn't wandered any farther than that in six months, perhaps she had stayed put for an additional two years.

"That's not too far," I said contentedly. "I'll start there. Thank you for your help. I'll come back to return the favor once I've located her." I turned to run away before anyone had time to try again to talk me out of what I intended to do, leaving four bewildered vampires behind.

_Edward, don't do it,_ Emmett called after me silently. _You'll just be disappointed._

Clearly, Emmett had no idea how much I'd been through. How could finding Bella, a Bella whom I could keep, possibly disappoint me? Perhaps living in the woods for two and a half years hadn't suited her. I didn't mind. Cleaning her up wouldn't take long, and even if she had somehow become permanently scarred, it would have made no difference to me. I wondered at how Emmett could be so thoughtless. Surely if Rosalie had gone a few years without bathing, even become disfigured, he would still love her just as much.

Perhaps they were simply trying to talk me out of going until we'd been able to form a better plan to get Renesmee back. Or, just as likely, they wanted me to stay because I had been the catalyst for convincing them to leave the house of despair for a short time. Living with Jasper's devastation for so long had undoubtedly clouded their judgment considerably, and I bore them no ill will for it. The important thing was that I was on my way to where I needed to be.

I spotted a late-model Cadillac Escalade with a "For Sale" sign just outside of Forks, where I was sure no one would recognize me. I had more than five times the amount of cash with me that the seller was asking, and I gleaned from his mind that the primary reason he was selling the vehicle was because he'd gotten a new job further away and needed something a bit more fuel-efficient. It was a bit flashier than what I would have chosen to drive around Forks, but all things considered, I had no reason to concern myself with appearances. Since I would be joining with this timeline's version of my family soon and would not need to replenish my cash supply, I had no difficulty parting with these funds. The seller was quite shocked when I simply handed him the money without asking to drive the monstrous vehicle first, but he gathered from the way I was dressed that money was probably not something I had much trouble coming by. He shook his head, handed me the keys, and signed over the title. After I found Bella, it would probably make a nice car for her. She hadn't particularly cared for the Ferrari Edward had bought as her "after" car in Universe Two, so perhaps she would find this more to her liking.

Once I got on the freeway, I allowed myself several minutes to simply enjoy the knowledge that this was the last obstacle in the way. Searching the woods for Bella was nothing compared to the three years of suffering I'd endured. If Bella had lived in my own universe and simply been lost somewhere, I would gladly have gone on searching for her for years with no thought of ending my life. I found myself humming the melody I had composed for Bella so long ago. It would be nice to be able to play it for her once again.

In short order, I turned my thoughts to more pressing matters. As soon as we returned, Bella would want to see Renesmee, and I needed to have some sort of plan in mind. I was sure that Bella would have allowed Jacob to see Renesmee, regardless of his thoughtless killing of Edward. Bella would never have kept her friend away from his imprint, no matter the horrific actions he'd taken. Perhaps she would have even forgiven him in time. It was almost unthinkable, but I believed there was a very good chance that she would have found a way.

I wasn't sure how the situation with Renesmee would ultimately play out. From everything I had observed, imprinting seemed to be at least partially mutual. The imprintee ultimately had the ability to reject the imprinter, but imprinting didn't seem to happen at all if there was no possibility of acceptance. It was highly probable, therefore, that Renesmee would not want to be apart from Jacob. Yet I was positive that she would also want to be around her mother, as well as the family had had raised her for the first six months of her life. Taking into consideration that Jacob had been responsible, directly or indirectly, for the deaths of two members of the family, I could think of no arrangement that would make everyone happy. This would prove to be incredibly troublesome. In a few years, Renesmee would be old enough to run (or drive, for that matter) back and forth between Forks and La Push on her own, and no one would need to be subjected to the company of anyone who brought forth painful memories. For now though, even if a kind of "joint custody" could be agreed upon, the Cullens would be forced to see Jacob on a regular basis. I was sure this would be agonizing to them. His actions in killing Edward might be _almost_ understandable, given his mental state. Plotting with the other wolves to kill Alice had been unconscionable. Based on Emmett's and Rosalie's descriptions, the incident had been no accident. Although he had not been the one to directly carry out Alice's murder, he had apparently come with the intention of killing anyone who got in his way. And Alice had paid the price.

Which brought my mind back to Jasper. I had suffered terribly following the death of my own Bella, but at least my foul mood had not been transmitted to anyone around me. I had preferred to be alone, although Carlisle and Esme would have done anything in their power to convince me to return home. Jasper, apparently, had no specific desire to be alone, but his presence was trapping his family in eternal torment. Emmett and Rosalie would likely move on one day, once the situation with Renesmee had been resolved. Carlisle and Esme, however, would never be able to bear leaving Jasper behind. I sighed regretfully as I discerned that my choice of whether to destroy the device or pass it along to Jasper also adversely affected my parents in this world. The only way they would be able to let him go willingly would be if he left to find his own happiness. If he stayed behind, he would destroy the rest of their considerable existence. If I destroyed the device because I didn't believe Jasper could be trusted, I would destroy three lives along with it.

I thought of my own Jasper, who had aided so willingly in the creation of the device, proudly proclaiming that his Alice had been instrumental in its design. Clearly, Jasper would have done this for me.

It was decided then. I would find Bella, wooing her all over again if necessary, and return to the Cullens. From there, we would negotiate with Jacob for some type of arrangement that would permit both Jacob and Renesmee's true family to see her. Perhaps we could enlist the aid of an intermediary, like Seth, to run Renesmee back and forth until she was old enough to travel alone. I nodded to myself. That would probably work. Seth had felt quite badly about what transpired, according to my brother. He also cared very much for my family in Universe Two, and I had no trouble believing that both sides would be willing to trust Seth as a liaison. If it made Jacob more comfortable, he could order Seth not to leave Renesmee's side until he was assured of her safety. I thought of the Seth I'd seen in Universe Seven and chuckled, realizing that he would probably be perfectly content to stay in the Cullen's—in _our_—home for days or weeks at a time, nibbling at Esme's baked goods.

Our home. Although I knew that my heart no longer served any specific function, it seemed incredibly light.

It felt good to have a home once again.


	32. Can't See the Forest for the Trees

**Reviews make Edward dance the funky chicken. **

**Yes, that's a good thing.**

**Probably. **

**Warning: This chapter is a little more graphically descriptive of (human) death than any other chapter I've written or have plans to write. I'm confident that it's still well within the T rating, but it may still be mildly upsetting to some readers.**

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Thirty Two – Can't See the Forest for the Trees

Upon reaching Seattle, I realized that it had been thoughtless of me to leave so hastily without even attempting to bring any of Bella's clothes with me. Surely my family probably had quite a bit of it stashed away from that too-brief time when Bella had been about to live with them. Alice had probably bought a new wardrobe for her that would have filled an ordinary person's entire house.

Alice. It suddenly dawned on me that I would never again see my adorable, lighthearted, optimistic sister. Bella wouldn't see her again either. If I sent Jasper away as I planned to do, we would never see him again either. This was extraordinarily disheartening. It went without saying that I loved Rosalie and Emmett, but Alice and I had always had a bit of a closer bond than I had with the others. I knew the same was true for Bella. In addition, she'd never had much opportunity to get to know Jasper, since he was perpetually frightened of slipping and trying to kill her. Of course, he'd had good reason for his fear, considering he'd once done exactly that. It pained me to recognize that Bella would never have an opportunity to know my quiet, perceptive brother.

I pushed these thoughts away. Being separated forever from Alice and Jasper would have been unthinkable a few years ago. That time had passed the day I'd met Bella. Losing them was still quite sad, but it was a small price to pay to be with Bella.

I pulled off the freeway to search for a clothing store. I had a pretty good idea of Bella's taste in clothes from the time we'd spent together, and I knew what size she wore from watching Alice mentally compile lists of items she'd need to purchase for her new sister. I shouldn't have much trouble buying a few essential items that would make Bella more comfortable.

Was it possible that the reason she hadn't returned was that her clothing had become too torn and dirty and she'd been embarrassed? I considered this for a moment. Bella had never been particularly fashion-conscious, but she did embarrass easily. She also seemed to have a difficult time understanding that my family didn't care how much money she had or judge her for her lack of designer attire. She had always seemed to fear that she wouldn't be impressive enough. As if that were even possible. She impressed me simply by breathing. Once I was won over, Esme and Carlisle would have loved her even if she'd had one gigantic eye and worn a burlap sack. Alice hadn't been far behind, irrelevant as this fact may be in this universe. With Alice on board, Jasper had quietly accepted her presence, and Emmett had been amused enough by her often surprising behavior to find her adorable. Truly, Rosalie had been the only member of my family who hadn't found her impressive, and her opinion wouldn't have been swayed no matter how Bella dressed. Rosalie's opinion had been clouded by her own jealousy and self-importance. No, it wouldn't have mattered to my family a bit if Bella had returned home in rags or even strategically-placed leaves and mud, if she'd run completely out of scraps of clothing. It did, however, seem possible that Bella might not see it this way. I sighed in exasperation at the idea of Bella living alone in the woods, frightened and ready to come home, but too afraid to do so because of her clothing. It did seem like a very Bella thing to do.

With that in mind, I waited patiently for night to fall, then stopped in the first store I saw and purchased several pairs of jeans and T-shirts in Bella's size. Had I been human, I would have blushed slightly as I picked out undergarments for her, electing to stick with the idea of function over fashion. I found some suitable sneakers and socks for her as well, and I happily climbed back into the SUV with my bags of clothing. This would make Bella much more comfortable than the prospect of having to be paraded in front of my family garments that were likely bloodstained and torn.

Pleased that I had, for once, thought ahead to what Bella would need, I got back onto the freeway. If only finding he would be as easy as making her happy would be. I contemplated my search plan as I continued to drive east. I couldn't hope to simply stumble upon her, particularly if she was as frightened of vampires and humans as my family had alluded to. I would, however, be able to notice signs that she had hunted recently. If I found a few animal carcasses with no blood, I would be able to get a general idea of how recently she'd been in that area. If I were especially lucky, I may be able to pick up on her scent as well. I would check the forest methodically, starting from the north and working my way south, covering every inch of ground along the way. Even with my speed, it would take several days to thoroughly cover the area. If I still hadn't found any trace of her, I would need to consider my next course of action.

I could see the wooded are up ahead. I began to drive faster, excited at the prospect of closing the distance between myself and my Bella. I sighed in relief. Even though I wanted to consider where she may have moved if she'd left this area, I nevertheless believed that she was here somewhere. What reason would she truly have to move elsewhere? This area had plenty of animals, and it was expansive enough that she could easily have lived here for years to come. If she'd been concerned about any needs other than food, she would have returned to my family. Naturally, she'd been frightened at first, but after having some time to think things over, she would have returned if she'd desired any creature comforts. Perhaps she was still devastated from Edward's loss. If that were the case, she would have wanted to remain far away, not just from my family, but from any possibility of being reminded of her lost love. Going near humans would inevitably remind her that people fell in love with one another. This could be the reason she seemed to be avoiding human settlements, according to my late sister. I couldn't imagine why she would be _afraid_ of humans. Surely she would realize that humans could not harm her. She knew all about our kind and would be well aware that she could not be discovered, but she also knew how to avoid discovery. The only plausible reason why she might be afraid of going near humans would be if she worried about her level of control. That would be very much like Bella, self-sacrificing enough to exile herself rather than take a chance at killing even one human. I would help her to reintegrate, to learn how to be near humans.

I pulled off the freeway and found a secluded area to park and began canvassing the woods. This was a meticulous task, and even given my heightened senses, I would need to take my time to ensure that I missed nothing. Even the smallest clue could be of extreme importance. An area that animals seemed to avoid, a tree that seemed to have been purposefully broken or bent. I would need to watch closely for any sign of external interference.

After several hours of searching, I was beginning to grow frustrated. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. It was not going to aid in my mission overmuch if I became impatient, but how tolerant could one man really be expected to remain? I had suffered unimaginably for three years, then had my hopes raised and dashed repeatedly in the past two weeks. I had seen my soulmate granted incredible happiness with two other men, one of whom was my own brother. I had seen another version of myself nearly kill her, followed immediately by watching helplessly as she endured three solid days of suffering, only to choose her murderer over me. I had seen her speak passionately about the benefits of killing innocent humans and call my beloved father a foolish man who brainwashed others to be fools like he. I had watched, unable to interfere, as the man who had killed her in my own timeline had apologized to her for what he'd nearly done, and had even helped my counterpart get back into her good graces when she believed that he hadn't wanted to keep her with him for all time. I had nearly killed her myself once, and another time I had aided my counterpart in courting her.

No one should ever need witness any of these things, yet I had observed them all. The only reason I retained any of my sanity was that I knew that _this_ was _it_. The only thing that lie between me and the end of this terrible, wonderful journey was this maddening forest. I briefly considered tearing down all of the trees one by one in order to expedite my search. It would prevent her from coming back to this end of the forest without gaining my notice while I was elsewhere. Why should I care if I destroyed an entire forest to get to her? What was leveling a few trees, compared to starting eternity? I decided against it, only because news of an entire forest being leveled overnight would definitely draw the attention of the human newsmedia, and eventually, the Volturi.

The sun had risen once and was beginning to set once more when, in the distance, I detected the hint of a grotesque aroma. Charred human flesh. From the smell of it, the human had finished burning at least a day ago, but the scent lingered in the air. I didn't know why I felt compelled to investigate, but I followed the repugnant odor all the same.

Within a few minutes, I arrived at the scene of what had once appeared to be some type of campsite. A very small tent stood a few feet away from what appeared to have been a somewhat inexpertly built campfire. Lying atop the fire were the bodies of two humans. They appeared to have died sometime in the last 48 hours. My stomach churned at both the sight and the smell. I should have run, but senselessly, I stepped slowly over to get a closer look.

Something was very wrong about this macabre tableau. The two humans, a male and a female, had evidently been hiking out here and decided to make camp for the night. Somehow, they'd come to be stacked neatly in the once-blazing fire together. A murder/suicide? Unlikely. It would be impossible to tell whether one of them had been strangled before being tossed onto the flames, but flinging oneself onto an open flame was an unlikely suicide method to choose. Had the other human killed himself/herself first, they would not have been able to drag their body onto the fire to die there. Even if the murderer had been determined to subject themselves to such a grisly, painful death, their instincts would likely have caused them to thrash about, probably dying several feet from the fire, jaw hanging open as they screamed, body contorted in pain. Both of these bodies were lying peacefully, albeit burned beyond recognition. Thus, it seemed as if they had both been killed _prior_ to being flung onto the fire. Last, and perhaps most damning, I noted that the male was fully clothed at the time of being placed upon the fire, but the clothing and shoes had been removed from the female.

I was very displeased with the implication of this. No animal would have had the dexterity to pull off such a feat. Theoretically, it would have taken at least two humans to subdue both of them simultaneously. Perhaps two human males might have killed the male first, then removed the female's clothing in order to subject her to further torture prior to murdering her as well. If this were the case, there would be some sign of her clothing nearby. There was none.

All signs pointed to a perpetrator who was, by no means unthinkable, but whom I nevertheless did not want to consider.

Bella.

I tried to imagine what might have driven her to murder these two campers and found it to be exceedingly easy. She had spent her entire vampire life alone, without the support of like-minded vegetarians to guide her. Naturally, if she had detected the scent of human blood while hunting, she would not have been able to resist the draw. She would easily have possessed the strength to subdue one while draining the other, or to kill them both and then drink their blood. Then she had thrown them onto the fire that the humans themselves had built in order to destroy the evidence. Their bodies would be found in due course; once they'd been reported missing, assuming they had told anyone where they planned to go camping, the police would arrive here to investigate. All they would find is a mysterious double homicide with no suspects. She'd done well in covering her tracks. No one would ever suspect that a vampire had killed the two humans.

No one except another vampire.

I found myself wishing that I could somehow give these two humans a proper burial, but it was much more fitting that they should be left here to be discovered. That way, their families could be notified of their death and begin the painful process of moving on. Bitterly, I envied that they had, at least, died together. They would not need to spend three years contemplating how they had allowed the death of the one they'd loved.

In spite of myself, I felt lighthearted. That these two had died so recently pointed to a sure sign that Bella was still in this forest. I forced myself to attempt to push the fates of these two probably-innocent people out of my mind as I began to search this area even more thoroughly. She would have fled from the immediate vicinity, but she would surely still be in relative proximity. If I knew Bella, she would feel horribly by now about what she'd done. While I didn't agree with the notion of killing humans, I certainly understood why she would have done so and would make every effort to comfort her. We all slipped up on occasion. In a place like this where she wouldn't expect humans to come by, slipping up would happen rarely, but it would be nearly impossible to avoid when a human did wander into her hunting territory. I would help her to forgive herself, and I would listen as she told the tales of any other incidental human deaths for which she'd been responsible in the past 30 months.

Gradually, it dawned on me that _this_ could have been the very reason for her refusal to return to my family. If an incident such as this had occurred during the first few days, she might have been too ashamed to return. I had always tried to avoid the subject of "slip-ups" with Bella, knowing that the topic was likely to make her uncomfortable, queasy, or even grow to hate me or my family. She had not needed to know while human that all of us except for Carlisle and Rosalie had tasted human blood, and even Rosalie had killed humans. Truly, it was a testament to Rosalie's tenacity that she had managed to exist for decades without even a single such sampling. Nonetheless, human Bella had been ill-equipped to properly understand why it was so difficult to resist the draw of her kind. Thus, I had not gone into much detail with her about the frequency of "mistakes" or the fact that it was not something to be so ashamed of as to hide from one's own family. No one had had an opportunity to explain this to her after she'd been turned, since she'd been in such a hurry to flee from the place where her husband had died.

Husband. Of course, that was another quite likely possibility why Bella was staying away. She'd lost Edward. Surely she would have suffered just as much these past two and a half years as I'd suffered for three. It would have been insurmountable to expect her to return to the very place where she'd known him and spent time with him, where she'd seen him fall if she'd been coherent enough to observe it. I had not been able to be near any of my family after her death. I wondered whether Jasper's suffering would be any less if he was not in the same house where he and Alice had lived for several years, but I quickly chastised myself for that errant thought. Of course his suffering would be just as terrible no matter the environment. My own torment had been no less simply because my surroundings were unfamiliar.

As I continued searching, I imagined what this moment of reunion would be like for Bella. Of course it would be fantastic for me, but I had the benefit of being aware that it would be coming in due course. How would I have reacted if Bella had simply stepped out of the shadows in my own universe to embrace me? I would probably have assumed that I'd gone mad. On the other hand, I would have readily accepted madness if it meant that I could spend the rest of my existence with Bella. I wouldn't even care if no one else could see her, as long as I could. I shook my head slightly as I acknowledged how irrational this sounded, but I had to admit that it was the truth.

Bella, then, would probably assume that I was a highly realistic illusion. She would still probably not care. I considered how she'd reacted in the universes where she had heard my voice when putting herself in danger. In Universe Two, she'd decided to continue putting herself in danger over and over in order to keep having this hallucination. I could only assume she'd done the same in Universe Eight, where the same series of events had played out up until she was brought before the Volturi. In Universe Five, she'd been inclined to do the same, but had ultimately decided to talk about the mental anguish she'd undergone since Edward left her. It seemed more likely than not, based upon the evidence, that she would choose to stay with me even if she believed me to be a figment of her imagination. It may take some time to convince her that I was real, but given that she'd be inclined to be near me all the same, it shouldn't be too difficult for me to take all the time I would need.

Still, I needed to take into consideration the possibility that she might be afraid of me. Seeing someone who was known to be dead was not typically something which would compel a person to immediate happiness and acceptance. For all of her lack of self-preserving behavior, Bella did possess at least some degree of rationality. She'd proven this by considering the possibility that hearing Edward's voice meant that she had gone mad, and by taking action based upon this presumption in another universe. I sighed reluctantly as I realized that my own real option, in the event that she ran, would be to do my best to keep up with her. Under normal circumstances, this would not be problematic in the least. I was a faster runner than Bella. I had seen this for myself when I'd spent time with vampire Bella in other worlds. However, given that I knew her diet had recently consisted of human blood, she would be slightly stronger than me and may have the advantage. I couldn't make any mistakes, then. I would need to keep her in my sight no matter what. I wouldn't be able to permit her the personal space that she might require.

I could only hope that, once I found Bella, she would be more inclined to be with Edward than to listen to her rational mind explaining to her that she'd gone insane.

However… What if Carlisle had been correct in his assessment that she might have lost all of her human memories? It pained me to consider the possibility that Bella might not recognize me at all. I had largely dismissed his theory. He hadn't spent sufficient time near her as a vampire to draw this conclusion. If she truly had not spoken at all, and had left the house mere minutes after the conclusion of her transformation, he couldn't possibly be able to reliably guess at the effects of her delayed turning. All the same, I should be prepared for the possibility of her thinking me to be some random vampire. We _were_ soulmates, in any case, so she would likely fall in love with me once more on sight. I nodded to myself as I continued searching for Bella among the trees. Even if she didn't remember me, this wouldn't present much of an obstacle.

Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my neck and a great deal of pressure on the back of my body. I had foolishly been holding my breath during my most recent ponderings and hadn't noticed the scent before I was ambushed. I whirled around, trying to free myself and inhaled deeply, instantly recognizing the scent.

Bella had found me first.


	33. Courting

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Thirty Three – Courting

Bella had leapt upon my back, taking me completely by surprise. Her arms were looped around each of my shoulders from behind, with her own hands locked behind my neck. Her legs were wrapped around my waist, and her teeth were digging into my neck. I grunted slightly, realizing that this was going to leave a permanent scar.

"Bella!" I called out desperately, for it was unmistakably her scent. "Bella, it's me, Edward!"

I was taken aback when neither the sound of my voice, nor the mention of my name, did anything to loosen her grip. She must still think I was dead. I hadn't expected her to react in this way to what she must have believed was an apparition.

"Bella," I continued frantically trying to reason with her, "I know it must be very confusing to see me alive after all this time. I'll be happy to explain it all to you face-to-face."

The sharp pain moved from one side of my neck to the other as I continued spinning around wildly, attempting in vain to break her hold on me. A low, guttural growl emitted from Bella's throat as she continued biting me. As much as I had no desire whatsoever to harm her, it wouldn't do much good for her to kill me here before I had a chance to explain the situation. Once she realized what she'd done, she would never forgive herself.

I staggered backward into a tree, ramming Bella's body into it. I knew that it wouldn't cause any damage, but it might stun her slightly. Instead, it only seemed to enrage her further. The biting had turned into gnawing, and I feared that she might actually rip a chunk of flesh from my neck.

"Bella, please!" I pleaded with her. The only thing that could scar a vampire was the teeth of another vampire. If she actually bit a chunk out of my neck, it would never heal. It would be rather difficult to blend in with humans while I had a bite taken out of my neck.

Once again, Bella displayed no indication that she had any intention of releasing me. In desperation, I located a large, sharp rock and flung myself with all my might backward onto it. I heard a _crack_ as the force of Bella's body split the rock in two. Thankfully, that had done the trick. Bella had been jarred just enough to loosen her grip around my shoulders, and I quickly wormed away, spinning to face her.

She wore clothing that didn't quite fit, having been taken from the female camper days before. The pants had a hole in one knee, and the shirt had one sleeve ripped off. All of her clothes were filthy. I supposed it was possible that they had looked like this when she'd taken them from the camper a short time ago, but taking in the rest of her appearance made this seem even less likely. Her face was covered in dried blood and mud. Gravel and dirt were lodged under her fingernails. Her hair was cropped to her chin and ragged, appearing to have been cut off roughly with a sharp rock or tree branch. The hair on her left side was matted to the side of her head. It, too, was caked with dried blood. Her eyes, crimson red as I had known they would be, were wild and unfocused.

I had only a half second to take in her appearance before she hissed and leapt up again, hands formed into claws as she lunged at me. I reacted quickly, grabbing her by the wrists and holding her at arm's length from me. She tried to kick at me but couldn't reach. She tried to free herself, but I held firm. This seemed to enrage Bella further, as she let out a bloodcurdling howl. It wasn't a particularly vampire-like noise, but it was terribly fearsome. My instincts told me to find another rock to toss her into and run as far and as fast as I could in the opposite direction. I fought this impulse, instead working her backward until I was able to overcome her enough to pin her to the ground.

"Bella," I repeated, gasping out each word, "It's me, Edward."

Apparently, none of these words meant much to her. She was thrashing wildly beneath me, trying urgently to get up again. I had her pinned too firmly for her to escape, one knee over each of her legs and my hands firmly grasping her wrists. I noticed with chagrin that, under other circumstances, it might appears as if my intentions at this moment were less than chaste.

Bella continued to writhe on the ground, kicking her legs at the air and craning her neck forward, teeth bared, attempting to bite me again. After a few moments, she began ramming into my backside with her knees, forcing me to pin her legs down further.

"Bella," I chastised her, "you _must_ stop this if I am to take you back home."

Bella replied by growling and hissing threateningly.

"Bella?" I asked hesitantly, at last fearing the worst.

Bella arched her back, still endeavoring to break free. If the sound of her name meant anything to her, she certainly wasn't displaying it.

"Bella, do you know who I am?" I hadn't wanted to believe that she had lost her human memories, but this was rapidly appearing to be the most likely possibility.

Bella unleashed a long, loud hiss from between her teeth. She kept pushing against me with her arms, forcing me to push back just as hard. Suddenly, she stopped pushing with her right arm. It happened so quickly that I didn't have time to compensate. Her right arm, along with my left arm, thrust back toward her head. She took the opportunity to sink her teeth into my left hand. I reacted instinctively, crying out in pain and releasing her wrists to cradle my left hand with my right. This was all the opportunity she needed. She shoved me off of her body with both arms and darted away as quickly as she could.

Remembering what I'd thought of earlier, I chased after her without thinking. "Bella!" I called out, barely able to see her. She did not react in any discernible way. Bella continued running away from me, weaving between trees as she dashed through the forest in an effort to lose me. I wouldn't be lost so easily. Despite the pains in my neck and hand, I sped up, slowly closing the distance between the two of us. I was still a faster runner than her, even given her recent feeding on humans.

Bella, however, could leap slightly further than I could, which she demonstrated in due course. "Bella!" I continued to call her name uselessly, although it was apparent now that it meant nothing to her.

For three hours, I chased her through the forest. If only I could see into her head for a moment, I might be able to determine why she was so frightened of me. Her internal shield was apparently fully functional. As always, I couldn't get even the slightest mental signature from her. Bella toppled trees into my path to attempt to evade me, and I hopped over them reflexively. She tried to trick me into tripping over holes formed by animals, but I expertly skirted around them. All the while, I continued to call out her name, hoping that perhaps if I repeated it enough, she would remember who she was. Eventually, she halted and spun around, hissing. I stopped as well, holding up my hands in a gesture meant to display that I intended her no harm.

Bella tore a huge branch from a nearby tree and pointed it at me fiercely. Although the branch would not harm me, the gesture was still rather menacing. I briefly recalled the Bella from Universe Four who had brandished a Taser at me, warning me to stay away from her. This scene looked very much the same. I stared back at her, expecting to find her eyes fearful as that Bella's had been. Instead, her appearance was intimidating, and I was the one who was frightened as she growled at me from deep within her chest.

"Bella?" I anxiously repeated her name for what must have been the one hundredth time. By now, I was reasonably confident that the sound of her name would have no effect on her, but I didn't know what else to say or do.

Bella screamed furiously and charged at me with the branch, which, of course, splintered upon making impact with my chest. She lunged toward me again, biting into my arm, and I made no motion to fight back. Scrapping with Bella was getting me nowhere. I needed to build up her trust from the very beginning if I was to win her over once more. We could work on trying to restore her memories later, or simply build new ones.

Bella bit into my arm in several places before finally seeming to realize that I wasn't defending myself. This seemed to enrage her further. She repeated the very un-vampire-like howl and began beating on my chest with both fists. I sat quietly and allowed her to do this, grateful that it was considerably less painful than her bites. Then, unexpectedly, she snapped my lower arm bones in half and ran away again.

I cursed quietly as I pushed myself back into an upright position with my good arm and chased after her. It was difficult to set my arm and hold it steady while running. It would heal within minutes, but it was still best to try not to jostle the bones around while they were healing. No matter, Carlisle could re-break and re-set it for me once I had gotten Bella calmed down enough to return.

I continued chasing her throughout the night. I wasn't sure how much distance we'd traversed, but it seemed that we'd looped back around into the other direction at least once. The sun was rising again, and I could see Bella's skin beginning to sparkle in the light. Abruptly, she stopped again and whirled around, eyes narrowed at me. Once more, I raised my hands up in a gesture of surrender and made no motion toward her. Bella backed slowly toward a large rock formation jutting out just behind her. I realized that there was a hole in the rock, and that Bella seemed to have been running toward this very place. This cave must be where she kept any personal belongings she'd acquired during her time here. Strangely, despite everything I'd just gone through, I found myself wishing that I had brought the bags of clothing with me that I'd purchased for Bella. She hissed ominously as she reached the cave entrance, sending a clear message that I was not permitted to follow. I obediently remained several feet outside, not taking my eyes off the entrance. I did not particularly wish to be taken aback by her yet again.

After several minutes, I began to worry that there might be another exit to this cave. If she truly did spend much of her time here, she would know the cave very well and would be able to find her way to the other exit rapidly. Once outside, she would flee as far away as possible, likely abandoning her familiar forest entirely in favor of getting away from the strange vampire who had spent hours chasing her. I panicked and ran to the entrance of the cave, ducking inside.

Something sharp and hard hit me over the head, effectively ending any concerns I had about Bella escaping out of a different exit. Rather than getting into yet another fight, I backed out of the cave and returned to my previous position. Bella stuck her head out to eye me cautiously for a short time, then disappeared into the darkness once more. It appeared that her only concern was that I wasn't charging her home once again.

I took the opportunity to ponder my next course of action. Bella could remain in this cave indefinitely. Surely if there were another exit, she would already have gone toward it. It was likely that the only reason she wasn't actively attacking me was because she had reached the (accurate) conclusion that I wasn't as easy to kill as the animals and occasional humans she typically found in her path. It seemed likely, then, that she would remain inside for as long as she continued to see me as a threat. Continuing to keep my distance, standing here and staring inside, was highly unlikely to bring about a favorable result. It was possible that she might leave when she became unbearably thirsty, but it was even more likely that she would not want to fight me for her prey.

I could probably lure her back out by hiding, but in order to locate a decent hiding spot, I would need to leave the immediate vicinity, or at a minimum, tear my eyes away from the cave entrance. I was not willing to do this. If she was staring back at me, and it seemed likely that she was, she would take the first opportunity when my back was turned to get away, and I wasn't sure I would ever be able to find her again in that event. Now that she _knew_ that I was looking for her, she would get as far away from this forest as possible and hide herself as well as she could manage.

My next best plan was to move extremely slowly toward the cave entrance, inch by inch. As soon as I heard any kind of reaction from her, I would back up an inch and hold that position until I was sure that she had calmed down sufficiently for me to continue. If I could just get her to stop seeing me as a threat, perhaps she would listen to me. I liked this plan better than the hiding plan, too, because I would not be actively deceiving her. I would be in her full view the entire time.

In the back of my mind, it occurred to me to be bothered by the fact that she had not seemed to fall immediately in love with me as I'd expected. I willed this thought away. Since I couldn't see in her mind, I had no way of knowing, for certain, precisely how she felt about me. Love was a terribly frightening emotion, after all. Running away and hiding was not an entirely unreasonable reaction for someone to have who had spent years in solitude with no memories of their early life. It was still fully plausible that she _had_ fallen in love with me on sight as I'd predicted, and that this had been the very thing driving her irrational fear. I took comfort in this realization.

Opting to follow the most rational plan, I moved half an inch toward the cave. I could hear a rustling noise from inside as Bella apparently shifted, possibly to get a better look, but she did not react with hostility. I paused for a few minutes, then stepped another half inch forward. Over the course of 30 minutes, I had advanced approximately six inches. When I attempted to move once more, I heard a growl from inside the cave. I froze and backed up slightly until the growling subsided. I held that position for an hour before attempting again to move forward. This time, I was only able to advance three inches before Bella hissed. Once more, I froze for an hour. At this rate, it would take me the better part of three days to actually arrive at the cave entrance, but it would be worth it once I had gained Bella's trust. Just a small obstacle to work through, and then we could begin our considerably long lives together.

For a day and a half, I continued in this manner, moving forward in miniscule increments, pausing for an hour each time Bella reacted aloud. Once I was within two feet of the cave, Bella began to react each time I stepped forward by half an inch. At that point, I began to creep forward in even smaller increments, managing over the course of an afternoon to move forward a further six inches.

Bella would not permit me to advance beyond this point. No matter how tiny of a motion I made, she would hiss, growl, scream, or howl at me. We seemed to be at an impasse. Bella sat in the cave, and I stood a foot and a half outside. As I'd predicted, it had taken me nearly three days to reach this point. I mentally calculated that it had been approximately five days since Bella had fed, assuming she hadn't eaten since finding the two human campers. I, too, had fed roughly five days previously, but I was quite accustomed to going two weeks between feedings. Living here in the forest, it was likely that Bella fed every few days. She was probably beginning to get thirsty, I realized.

Perhaps a peace offering would be the solution. I had no idea how I was going to manage to kill anything without turning my back on the cave entrance, but I was running out of better ideas. Bella would not permit me to come closer, and I did not wish to fight with her again. Without taking my eyes from the cave entrance, I used my other senses to try to find where the nearest large animal was. I smelled a small number of deer nearby, and I listened closely to determine that they were less than fifty feet behind me and to my right.

Slowly and deliberately, I backed away from where I stood, heading toward the deer. Although Bella's eyes were darkening slightly, I could still pick out her ruby-toned eyes glowing just inside the cave entrance, following me curiously. I continued backing away, veering slightly toward the right as I moved. I could still see the apparent sole entrance of the cave, but from my angle, Bella would no longer be able to see me. I was elated when I saw her poke her head nervously outside of the cave to watch where I went next.

I turned my body slightly so that I could move more quickly, still not looking away from the cave. I leapt into a tree and began to hop backward from one branch to another, from one tree to the next, until I could see a deer beneath me in my peripheral vision. I never tore my gaze away from the cave, watching Bella's red eyes with my golden ones as she stared back at me. In a single, swift motion, I landed atop the deer and neatly snapped its neck. I hoisted the deer's body onto my shoulders and instantly closed the distance to the cave, wanting to deliver my peace offering before the blood started to cool.

Bella was visibly startled by my sudden change in direction, and she was unable to retreat into the cave quickly enough. Her hostility was still evident when she hissed at me, tearing into my shoulder with her teeth. I grunted and tore a small hole in the deer's flesh using my fingernails. The scent of fresh blood was enough to distract Bella from her seeming goal of covering me in as many scars as Jasper had. She was well on her way to that, I contemplated, annoyed. She'd already bitten me half a dozen times.

Bella did not lift her head from the deer as she drank, but she also did not take her eyes from me. It was bizarre to actually watch her eye color dilute slightly while she fed, from a dark red to a slightly brownish-tinged, rust color, into a lighter red-orange hue. They were still more red than gold, but the effect was quite noticeable and instantaneous, not like a newborn vampire whose eyes would take months to turn colors. Although it was a foolish thing to consider, given the dire circumstances at work, I found myself looking forward to a time when her eyes would turn fully gold. Bella growled twice during the process of draining the deer, and as soon as she was finished, she flung the carcass at me with all her might and retreated back into the cave.

Evidently, the peace offering had done nothing to warm her to me.

I would need to think of something else.

Fortunately, I had all the time in the world. I stood patiently outside the cave, two feet from the entrance, and continued to contemplate my situation. Was there anything else I could bring her which might change her opinion? I had the clothes in the car, but I couldn't leave her side for even a moment. If I could get her to follow _me_, it would be easy to do this, but I didn't think that was a likely course of action for her to take right now. Perhaps in time, once she had grown accustomed to my presence, I could attempt to get her to give chase, but I was certain that if I left now, she would wait only long enough to be sure that it wasn't a trap before running in the opposite direction. It was a shame that I could not discern a reliable method of presenting the clothes to her that I'd purchased. Bella did seem to value having some manner of appropriate coverings, considering that she had taken the time to remove the ones she was wearing now from the female camper she'd killed days before.

I felt a pang of guilt for the fact that I'd failed Bella so badly in this universe, which I knew was ridiculous since I was not directly responsible for the other Edward's actions. Still, it was a shame that she'd had to resort to living alone in the forest, feeding on whatever animals or humans crossed her path, stealing clothes from her dead victims, and crouching in a cave.

Alice would have been furious with me. I supposed it was a good thing that she would never know.

It was good, too, that my muscles never grew tired and I never needed to sleep. Leaving Bella's side was not an option. I had done that once before, and it had been the precise reason my existence had fallen apart. I had never been the same, and I would not repeat that mistake ever again. Since I could not immediately think of another plan, I had a feeling I would be standing here for quite some time.


	34. Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Thirty Four – Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

"I have to leave."

The girl who stared back at me was tall, slender and lean, with close-cropped black hair. Her arms were crossed over her chest as she spoke, and she looked generally annoyed and a little sad.

"Leah, you can't just leave!" I protested, setting Nessie on the floor. She clung to my leg, refusing to go anywhere.

"Jacob, I have to. I can't take this anymore. I thought things would be better after you formed a separate pack and I didn't have to hear Sam's lovey-dovey thoughts about my cousin anymore. After what happened with the bloodsuckers though, things have been even worse than they were before. Sam's pissed at you, Jacob, but he's avoiding me too. They're _all_ avoiding me. 'Stupid girl wolf that wouldn't stick with the real pack, caused the treaty to be broken.' That's what they think of me. I can't take their accusing stares anymore. Even my own mother thinks I'm nuts for joining your pack. She's been trying to get me to go back to Sam! Can you believe it? She _wants_ me to live with his thoughts in my head all the time. 'At least Sam had things under control, Leah. There's no telling what kind of trouble Jacob is going to get you into with that half-breed girl.'"

"Ugh, Leah… I can only apologize so many times for that order. I didn't mean to make it. I didn't have anything against Pixie." I tried to pry Nessie off of my leg. I hated to have her away from my side, but I really needed to have a private conversation with Leah to keep her from abandoning her duties.

"I know, Jacob. I know you didn't mean to. Seth knows it too," she added. "But we're the only ones who do. Sam thinks you did it on purpose. He thinks you went in there with the goal of kidnapping that half-leech. His whole pack thinks you betrayed your own kind for that… that _thing._"

"Don't," I warned Leah angrily "call my Nessie a thing." At the sound of her name, Nessie grabbed at my hand and started to swing it back and forth. "Nessie, why don't you go check on Uncle Billy?" I asked her. She trotted off happily into the living room. My father hadn't been happy about the situation at first, but like everyone who spent much time around Nessie, he'd grown to love her.

Leah rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Look, Jacob, I didn't want to be a wolf in the first place. I wanted to have a nice, normal life. I was supposed to marry Sam and have kids and maybe go to college. Not in that order," she amended, "but that was what I wanted my life to be. The only way I'm going to be able to get that life is to move away. Far away. My mind is made up."

"What does your mom think of this?" Sue wouldn't be happy about it, I was sure. _Sure Leah, I think it's a great plan for you to disappear off the reservation forever a couple years after your father's death._

Leah seemed suddenly fascinated by a small stain on my bedroom carpet. "She says this is a calling and I can't walk away from it." Her head snapped back up. "But I don't care, Jacob. This is what I have to do. I have to find a place to live with normal people who don't turn into giant canines or drink blood or read minds or God-knows-what. I want things to go back to how they used to be, but that isn't going to happen, so it's time for me to move on."

"I could order you to stay," I told her.

Leah's eyes narrowed and she looked considerably more threatening than she ever had before. "You wouldn't dare."

"No, I wouldn't," I muttered. "The last time I gave you an order, it didn't turn out so great, did it?" I paused. "What about Seth?"

"Seth loves being a wolf. He loves everything about it. He doesn't care about the accusing looks he gets from the others. He'll make a good Beta."

I grunted. "That's not exactly what I meant. Won't you be worried about him?"

"A little," she admitted, "but to be honest, I don't really like hearing my brother's thoughts all the time either. Physically, he's still a 15-year-old boy. I don't want to hear about his raging hormones or his stash of porn." Leah made an exaggerated gagging noise. I couldn't help grinning, which earned me a punch in the arm.

"Are you really sure about this?" I asked her. "Is there anything I can say that would make you want to stay?" It was selfish, but I was very worried about the idea of having a pack of only two. The Cullens wanted Nessie back, and I was pretty sure that the only reason they hadn't come after her was because they didn't think they'd stand a chance against the whole pack. They had no idea that Sam disagreed so strongly with what I'd done, and that he had no specific intention of getting his own pack to help me. He didn't care too much about killing the leech, although it was a clear violation of the treaty, but kidnapping went against everything we stood for. I'd been able to hang onto Nessie for this long, but she'd been begging to see Blondie every day, and I wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer. When I eventually had to break down to Nessie's will, I'd need all the help I could get. Seth was a good kid, but not really much use in a fight.

Even in human form, sometimes I could swear that Leah could read my mind. "Worried about what happens when you have to bring her back? Yeah, you should be," she said smugly. "Sorry Jacob, but that's another reason I want to leave. I can't rejoin Sam's pack, and I can't refuse an order from you. If you order me to get myself killed defending that girl, I'll have to do it. I'm running out of options. I can see every time we're both wolves that you're coming closer to a decision about the girl every day. I'm not going to be here when you take her there." Leah's jaw was set forward slightly as she spoke, and I knew there was no way I'd ever be able to sway her.

"I would never order you to get yourself killed." The suggestion was horrible, but I had to admit I understood why she might think so. Everything I touched turned to dirt, after all.

"Probably not. But the leeches don't know that I was acting on orders when I killed their fortune-teller. They'll go after me no matter what."

She was right. She was right about what would happen if she showed up at the Cullens' doorstep, and she was probably right to leave. Who would want to be in the pack of Second Best Jacob Black anyhow? Always second best, even when I was in charge.

I sighed, knowing that I'd lost. "All right, Leah. I can see your mind is made up. Be careful out there. You'll still be part wolf no matter how far away you run, at least for a little while. I think you should be able to stop eventually, if the legends are true, but it's going to take awhile." Leah nodded, acknowledging that she'd already reached this conclusion. "Can I ask a favor though?"

"You can ask," she replied suspiciously.

"Can I ask for your advice?" I clarified.

"About the girl?"

"What the hell else have I been obsessing over lately? Of course about Nessie," I snapped.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch, Jacob. I'm just making sure. I can't read your mind right _now_." Leah seemed to be gathering her thoughts, and I collapsed backward onto my bed just as I'd been doing so frequently in the last few months.

I didn't have the foggiest clue what to do. Nessie wanted to see Blondie; therefore, I wanted to take Nessie to see Blondie, because it would make her happy. I didn't particularly want to die. I couldn't very well explain to Nessie that if I went there, her beloved Blondie would kill me. She wouldn't be able to understand. She saw Blondie as a good person, not as somebody who would kill someone she cared for. I didn't want her to have to see that either. I knew it would wreck her life in ways I could barely imagine. I'd seen what Claire had gone through over the past two years, and she hadn't actually had to _watch_ Quil die. The little girl had transformed into a depressed adult in the body of a child. She just stared into space with the same vacant look Bella had once had. She wouldn't play with the other kids. She wouldn't do anything. I'd thought maybe she'd get over it in a couple of months, considering how young she'd been, but here we were, two years later, and Claire was never going to be all right.

I tried to picture Nessie with that same look in her eyes, and it was too painful to imagine. The idea of causing her any type of pain made me want to die, which was kind of ironic, considering that my death was exactly what would cause the pain.

I couldn't keep her from going. I couldn't take her there. I couldn't let her go visit on her own.  
I was screwed.

This fine mess has been brought to you by our sponsor, Jacob Black. When you want the very best, you don't want him. Call Jacob when you want second best.

"Well, I've heard all your thoughts on the subject, of course," Leah began, "and you're right, you can't just walk up there with her. They'd kill you. To be frank, I don't know why they didn't kill you after you ripped Edward up."

"Because it would've hurt Bella," I answered miserably. "Even after she left, they thought she might come back. From what we've been able to learn, she's never come back, and I'm sure even they realize by now that she isn't going to. So that obstacle isn't in the way anymore."

Leah nodded. "I think you're going to have to find someone else you trust to take the girl out there," she told me flatly.

"What? I can't ask someone else to put themselves at risk like that. Those are _bloodsuckers,_ Leah."

"They don't kill people," she pointed out. "I don't like them either, but if you send someone down there with the girl—" I didn't miss that Leah refused to call Nessie by her name "—they'll be safe."

"Leah, haven't you been paying attention?" I couldn't keep the aggravation from my voice. "The treaty is broken. I broke it when I killed Edward. I don't know if they would've overlooked that, all things considered, but they sure won't overlook Pixie. There is no guarantee that they aren't killing humans."

"They're not," she told me confidently. "Sam's pack would've found out and gone after them. They're still honoring the treaty as a show of good faith. They figure the leeches have been through enough without being slaughtered as long as they're still not killing anyone."

"How do you know so much about what Sam's pack is doing?" I had never noticed anything in Leah's thoughts about speaking to Sam, though I tried to stay on different shifts from her as much as I could manage.

"I've been talking to Paul," Leah informed me.

"_What?_" I shouted. This was betrayal, plain and simple. I had to be around Paul a lot more than I would've liked. It was nice that his imprinting on my sister had kept her around, I guessed, but I couldn't stand him. And here was my own Beta, cavorting with the enemy.

"Don't be mad, Jacob. I want to keep tabs on them. See what they're up to. Paul is the most willing and eager to talk about things with me. He's the only one who even half understands why I might have wanted to get out of that pack. I think it's because he wasn't too fond of hearing your hostility toward him ever since he imprinted on Rachel."

So Leah was okay for them to associate with, even though no one would fill me in on anything. Second Best Jacob Black strikes again. Where did it end? Second best to my own Beta.

"Fine," I grunted. "You don't suppose one of them would be willing to take her out there?"

Leah shook her head. "This is your mess, Jacob."

I considered the other members of the tribe. I wasn't thrilled about the idea of sending any humans out there, but if Sam's pack was right, they wouldn't be harmed. Most of the human members of the tribe were just as irked with me as the other pack though. I doubted very many of them would be willing to do me any favors. My own family might be able to be relied on, but Billy wasn't exactly in any condition to make a trip anywhere on his own.

There were only two people I could ask. My sister Rachel, and Seth.

There were pros and cons to each choice. Sending Rachel would mean taking a pretty big risk. I would never be able to forgive myself if anything happened to her. It also meant that Paul would go with her, and he'd never been especially controlled. He probably wouldn't last two minutes in human form once he was close to them, and who knew what would happen when he transformed? The Cullens might see him as a threat and rush him. Getting him killed, although that could definitely be kind of fun, would devastate my sister and bring down the fury of the main pack. At the same time though, Rachel stood a better chance of being allowed a few minutes to explain the situation. She was a human. The leeches wouldn't see her as a threat. Plus, everybody liked my sister. I could easily see her and Mother Leech getting along like old friends, chatting over tea and crumpets. Well, maybe no tea and crumpets for Mother Leech, but still.

Seth would be a safer choice. He'd want to help, even without his mystical wolf loyalty to me. He actually liked the Cullens, and I knew it bugged him that he couldn't visit anymore. He'd be able to take care of himself and Nessie, and he'd know when to run away if it came down to it. Unlike me, he still had the support of the main pack. If the bloodsuckers threatened him, they'd retaliate. The problem was, I didn't think the leeches would be inclined to believe him. He'd been there, after all, when Pixie was killed. It had been his own sister who had done it. They'd probably assume he was lying just to make himself look better.

"Jacob?" Leah looked uncomfortable at my long silence. I really hadn't ever been much of a thinker. More of a doer.

"I'm trying to decide between Rachel or Seth, which is the safer one to send," I explained. "I trust both of them, but Rachel could get hurt, so Paul would go along with her. I don't trust _him_. I don't think the Cullens would trust Seth. I don't know what to do."

"Paul would trust Seth to keep Rachel safe," Leah said reasonably. "You could send them both."

Now that was a good idea, if they'd both agree to do it. But if something went wrong… I shuddered at the thought of losing them both.

"You don't have a lot of options, Jacob," Leah pointed out. "The girl wants to see them, and you can't avoid giving her what she wants anymore. She's gotten old enough to make decisions like wanting to see her family."

Family. A coven of bloodsuckers was my Nessie's family. Nobody could get into messes quite like me.

"You're right," I muttered. "I'll talk to them."

"I'll talk to Seth for you, if you want."

I blinked a few times. It wasn't like Leah to offer to be helpful when there was nothing in it for her. "Why?"

"To make sure you don't make it an order," she grumbled.

Ahh. So there _was_ something in it for her. Now it made sense.

"Fine," I told her. "When do you think we ought to do this?"

"Well, no offense, but I'd prefer if you waited until I was far, far away so nobody comes after me if things get ugly. You can probably hold off for another month or two before the girl starts to get _really_ anxious about it."

I might need that much time to convince Rachel to go on a dangerous mission and leave Paul behind. She'd have Seth with her though, and he'd protect her with his life.

Of course, even with only 5 leeches left, I was pretty sure one wolf and one human wouldn't be a lot for them to take out.

But what choice did I have? I couldn't take her there myself. No one else would be willing to take her there. Rachel and Seth were my best chance at making Nessie happy. They might even be able to talk the leeches into considering some kind of arrangement, especially when they saw how unhappy it would make Nessie to be away from me for too long.

Nessie was the only person who didn't see me as second best.

I couldn't lose her, not even temporarily. This had to work.

But… What if _Nessie_ chose the Cullens over me after she was around them again? It seemed like a pretty legitimate risk. Second best in every other way, after all. It would be fitting if she chose them.

Well, if that was what made my Nessie happy…

But then, it would've all been for nothing. Killing Edward and Pixie, losing Bella in whatever sick way she'd been lost. Completely senseless.

But, if it made my Nessie happy…

It was decided, then. I only hoped that I could hold Nessie off for a few more months. I wanted to spend every last possible minute with her before I sent her away, possibly for good. I had to give her what she wanted, even if it meant I'd never be able to feel happiness again.

Sometimes, I understood why Leah hated being a wolf.


	35. Edge of Forever

**Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any tissues you may expend during the reading of Multiverse.**

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Thirty Five – The Edge of Forever

_July._

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_August._

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_September._

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Time passed. Much more time than I'd ever expected to spend trying to regain Bella's affections. Day after day, she remained in the cave, coming out every few days to feed and physically attacking me each time. Day after day, I stood just outside, allowing her to attack me every few days and putting up no struggle. Each time I attempted to come closer, I would provoke another attack, so I remained still, waiting for Bella to come around.

By now, she must surely have figured out that I wasn't going to leave. I couldn't understand why she hadn't even tried to communicate with me, to find out what I was doing here. If she'd forgotten me, as I was now sure that she must have, she should have been curious by now as to who I was and what I wanted. I thought I had made it clear that I was here to stay.

I'd tried a handful of other techniques without success. I had tried faking her, which I loathed doing, but deemed necessary. I'd run to the west, making sure she was paying attention. Once I was far enough away, I'd hidden behind a tree and waited a few minutes to see if she would follow me. Instead, she slowly stepped outside of the cave and ran to the east as quickly as she could. By then, she'd been back on the animal diet long enough that I was able to catch up to her easily with my superior speed, but the incident had ended, as all incidents with Bella, in a physical confrontation and a new bite-shaped scar.

I had tried climbing the rock that housed the cave to see if I could somehow create a hole from above and drop in, but when she heard me scraping the rock above her, she'd come out to attack me once more.

I had tried luring her out with freshly killed animals, but after my first peace offering, she consistently failed to come out for anything I would leave for her. I supposed it was rather Bella-like to refuse gifts, particularly when she was perfectly capable of hunting for herself.

I had tried hiding in a tree and waiting for her to come out, which had only prompted her to tear down all of the nearby trees in anger.

In short, I was running out of ideas. Perhaps Bella had never been meant for me after all. It seemed plausible that the only reason she'd fallen for me in the first place was because of my ability to "dazzle" her when she'd been a human. This was the first time I'd ever seen her as a vampire when she did not remember falling in love with me as a human. Perhaps vampire Bella was simply incapable of loving me unless she'd been tricked into it as a human. As terrible of a prospect as this was, it was no less than I deserved. How foolish I'd been to believe that anyone could love someone so loathsome as me without being conned into it.

Many times, I recalled what I'd thought while I was on my way to my family's home in my own universe. _Following her around forever, even if she would never speak to me? I could live with that._

Apparently, I could.

I shook off my overwhelming feelings of angst and brought myself back to reality. Bella needed me. She needed to be reminded of the life she could have. Eventually, she would choose me. She just needed more time. I had plenty of that. Of course Bella had loved me. It hadn't been a mere trick. If that were the case, she would have fallen head-over-heels for every vampire she'd seen.

Well, she _had_ fallen for Emmett once.

But that was an entirely different set of circumstances.

Wasn't it?

If I could just get her to _listen_ to me. It had occurred to me that she might not understand English any longer, so I'd spoken to her at length for the first month. After that, I had eventually recognized that the sound of my voice seemed to enrage her, so I'd given up on that endeavor.

If only I'd had the foresight to borrow a cell phone from my family and bring it with me. It would have been nice to be able to contact someone and have them bring the clothes for Bella that I'd bought three months before. The clothing she'd stolen from the dead female camper was beginning to hang off of her body in shreds, and I daresay that I was in danger of seeing more of her than was appropriate for an unmarried man from my generation.

The monster, of course, was uncommonly pleased by this, but I had no time for him.

It would have helped tremendously to have another vampire present who could help me to try to get her to come out of the cave, too. Since I was only one person, I couldn't pull off more elaborate schemes like running one way while another person hid in the opposite direction, waiting for her.

It didn't matter though. It hadn't occurred to me to equip myself with a means of communicating with my family, and so I wasn't able to contact anyone. Leaving to make a phone call or request aid in person was out of the question, since Bella would run away as soon as I was out of sight. I doubted very seriously that any of my family would ever come looking for me. They lived under Jasper's dark cloud, where all life seemed meaningless and there was no sense in doing anything. I wondered if they had believed I would be able to find Bella at all.

The one certainty was that I was utterly alone here with Bella, and no one would ever be joining us. Possibly, another hiker may come through here one day, but that would do nothing for me. A human would do nothing more than die at Bella's hands, increasing her strength for her intermittent attacks against me. No others of my kind would come here in search of food, since vegetarian vampires were so rare and few humans ever came here. Perhaps I would never have need to speak again. In a way, it was peaceful, hearing no mental voices but my own. I hadn't realized how much of my life had been filled with background chatter for decades, nor had I realized how pleasant solitude could be.

I allowed myself a moment to revel in the quiet. Living out here wasn't so bad. It certainly had its benefits. I didn't have to fool anyone into believing I was human. I didn't have to hide from sunlight. I didn't have to go far for food. I never had to hear anyone's mind.

_Where is he? I swear I saw him around here…_

I looked curiously toward the cave. I'd only heard Bella's thoughts once, in Universe Two, and she had made a deliberate effort to send me that thought. Could Bella have managed to learn how to harness her abilities even without the aid of other vampires?

"Edward!" A cheerful female voice sang out my name in search of me. I would recognize that voice anywhere, but it was impossible that I should be hearing it here.

Could vampires go mad?

"Eeeeeeeeedwaaaaaaaard!" The voice called out again, drawing out the vowel sounds in my name. Inside the cave, Bella's eyes were darting around nervously. So she had heard it too. I was no more mad than she.

That came as small comfort, all things considered.

I drew myself up to my full height and inhaled deeply. Far in the distance was the scent of a vampire. A vampire whose scent couldn't possibly be here, in this universe.

Alice was dead.

What was she doing here?

When she called my name a third time, I responded. "Alice?" I called back hesitantly.

"Oh you _are_ here! I'm having a hard time finding you, Edward! Your scent is all over the place." Bella had been on one of her hunting trips earlier that day, and she'd led me on a wild goose chase all over the forest, trying to lose me. I'd persisted, and she'd eventually given up.

"Should I keep talking?" I answered.

"Yes please!"

"It sounds like you're just north of me. I'm near a large rock formation with an entrance, a cave. I don't think you're very far away."

Before I finished the last sentence, Alice was at my side. As always, she was dressed impeccably, somewhat inappropriately for outdoor living in a strapless red dress and matching heels.

Very inappropriately for someone who was dead.

_Wow, you look…_ Alice couldn't even seem to find words to describe my appearance. I watched through her eyes as she took in my scars, which by now were covering my arms, shoulders, and neck. She also tutted her disapproval of the state of my garments, torn and caked in dirt from my numerous scuffles with Bella. I scarcely managed to find a few moments to hunt without fear of Bella getting away from me, so my eyes were rather dark. Still, I apparently looked more cheerful than she'd expected.

"Alice, what are you doing here?" I asked her.

Before she had time to answer, Bella was charging out of the cave at her.

"Bella, _no_!" I scolded her. As usual, my words had no effect. I leapt in front of Alice to take the brunt of the damage. Alice cautiously stepped to one side, observing our sparring match. Bella was a very predictable fighter. She lunged, she clawed, and she bit, but she never employed any type of strategy. After a few moments and a new scar, Bella hissed and retreated once more into the safety of her cave.

"I uh, didn't see _that_ happening," Alice lamented.

"I doubt very much that she decided ahead of time," I explained. "Returning to my question, Alice, what exactly are you doing here?"

"Oh, I just came to check on my favorite brother," she replied. She was trying to sound upbeat, but her thoughts were in turmoil. She tried to keep this fact hidden from me.

"Alice, cut it out. How exactly are you here?"

For a moment, she stopped looking worried and simply pouted. "I thought I'd be able to fool you for at least a few minutes. I figured you'd assume I was the Alice from this universe. What did I think that gave it away?"

This Alice was a traveler too?

My mind was reeling so quickly that I actually staggered backward, momentarily taking my eyes away from Bella's cave. Bella made no motion to escape anyway, outnumbered as she was now.

When she received no immediate response, Alice continued. "Remember what we told you before you left? That we would try to make another device that could get you home? Well, ta-da!" My sister reached into her matching red purse and pulled out another device which looked almost exactly like mine. "It turns out that every universe has a kind of special _signature_. You know the specific scientific details aren't really my forte, but somehow Carlisle and Jasper were able to work it out. Since you're from _our_ universe, I was able to find you by locking onto the same signature as our own and setting it to transport me. By the way, Edward, I'm so sorry. I had no idea changing universes would be so…" She recalled the physical discomfort she'd endured while shifting and I grimaced.

So this was actually my own Alice. She'd come here to deliver an improved device. Unfortunately, her efforts had been in vain. If the Bella I had found for myself had been one who would go with me willingly, I would have been able to carefully weigh the options of whether to return to my own universe or remain here with her. As it were, I had no such choice. I would only be able to remain here. Perhaps in time, I would be able to get her to come away from the cave, and if I were very lucky, I might be able to get her back to her own Cullens eventually. She had a daughter here though. She wouldn't want to leave her daughter, I was sure of it.

"It's all right," I replied to Alice's concerns about the pain caused by using the device. "I got used to it eventually."

Alice frowned. "I don't know how you could. Well, after you left, we tried to relax and return to life as normal, but even knowing that you were on your way to happiness, we still _missed_ you. You'd only been gone a few days when Esme said 'I wonder if Edward's found her and wishes he could bring her back home?' That was all it took for us to get started working on the new, improved worldshifter. It turned out to be much easier to modify the device to lock onto specific universes than we'd expected. Since we already knew how to construct the basic device, it only took a few months to put this together. And here it is!" She sang the last part, holding the device out for me to take.

I stared at it for a moment, then met Alice's eyes. "Thank you," I told her sincerely, "but—"

"But nothing!" Alice interrupted me. "Now when you find Bella, you can come home straight away if you want!"

I gaped at my sister. Surely she had noticed Bella when she was trying to kill me? "Bella is right here," I told her firmly.

Alice shifted her feet uncomfortably. "Edward," she began, "Edward, that isn't Bella."

I stared incredulously at Alice. "I know you've never seen her as a vampire before, but surely you must have realized—"

My sister interrupted me again. "Oh, I'm sure she _used_ to be Bella. I don't know what happened to her. But there's nothing of Bella left in that girl I just saw, Edward."

Her words infuriated me. "Of course it's Bella!" I roared, stomping my foot and driving it several inches into the hard ground below.

Alice waited for me to get my temper back under control before speaking again. "Edward, do you know _why_, out of everyone left back home, I was the one who came to find you?" I shook my head, and she went on to explain. "I was the only one who stood a good chance of finding you right away. I had planned to check Bella's immediate future when I arrived and figure out from there where she was. I thought it would be easier than checking yours. With two of you in a given universe, I was afraid it might give me headaches to look for you."

I was surprised that Alice had guessed correctly as to the effects of looking into the futures of two Edwards simultaneously. She needn't have worried here, since my counterpart was dead, but that was hardly common knowledge in my own universe.

Alice continued. "When I looked for Bella though, all I could get was fuzzy pictures that lasted a few seconds. I didn't know if maybe that meant something about the wolves, since they interfere with my visions, but I tried locking onto you instead and I found you here. I thought it would be much harder to pinpoint you than it was."

"You didn't visit our family in this timeline then?" I breathed a sigh of relief at this revelation. She hadn't been subjected to Jasper's emotions. A brief panic overcame me as I realized that Jasper would probably have never let her leave if she'd appeared at their front door.

"No, I figured you'd probably already been there and they'd probably had enough shock for right now," she answered. "But my point, Edward, is that now that I've seen Bella, I understand why I couldn't see her future. She doesn't really make decisions. She's like… like an animal. A savage. That isn't Bella." Alice looked away, forlorn.

"It _is_ Bella," I replied, keeping my tone neutral. "She just needs some more time. She's been through so much."

"How much time have you already wast—err—spent here?" Alice stopped herself before asking how much time I'd _wasted_.

"Three months," I informed her coolly.

"Three _months_?" Alice shrieked. "You've only been gone three and a half months. You spent six-sevenths of that time standing around a _cave_?"

"What would you have me do? Abandon her because she's a little different?"

"Edward, different would be… Different would be if she liked pretty clothes or dyed her hair pink or played soccer or spoke Portuguese or something. That," she said, pointing to the cave where Bella was crouched inside, "is way beyond _different_."

"Abandon a member of this family because she's inconvenient or needs help? What would Esme say to that?"

Alice shook her head, disagreeing with me vehemently. "This isn't the same thing as abandoning a special-needs family member or… or sending someone to live in darkness because they see visions of the future." Alice expressed herself with conviction, though her voice quivered when she spoke of her own unremembered past. "She's perfectly capable of taking care of herself. She can go on here just fine without you, just like I'm sure she was doing before you showed up."

I couldn't argue with this last point of Alice's. Bella didn't need any assistance with her day-to-day life. She was more than capable of feeding herself and staying out of public notice, which were truly the only concerns a vampire need have. She'd also found a shelter for herself, a place she could call home. Nonetheless, this was _my_ Bella. The Bella who was meant to be with me. The Bella who didn't already have an Edward, or an Emmett or a Jacob, for that matter. Bella had a daughter, and a family who missed her. She'd lost so much; she deserved to have it all back.

"She needs me," I told my sister.

"She needs to be left alone," Alice informed me sadly. "Anyone could see she doesn't like you being here. For heaven's sake, look at what she's done to you." Alice stared once more at my scars. "Do you think that means she wants you to stay here with her?"

"She doesn't know what she wants. She's frightened."

"Of _you_, Edward. She's frightened of you. She wants you to go away. What do you honestly think will happen if you stay here?"

"Eventually, she'll get used to me. Then she'll fall in love with me and want to spend time with me. After that, I'll take her back to her family. Edward is dead in this timeline. We can both live there. Then I'll reunite her with her daughter, and she'll be happy. She'll be extremely happy." I recited for Alice the scenario I'd played out in my mind over and over during the past three months.

Alice stared at me, no thoughts immediately forming in her head. "What is _wrong_ with you, Edward? Have you completely lost your ability to reason? Do you want to _see_ what will actually happen if you stay here?"

I opened my mouth to tell her _no_, but before I had a chance, Alice had closed her eyes and was bringing up a vision of my future. I was covered in even more scars, standing outside the cave. She flashed forward. Even more scars, still outside the cave. She flashed forward even further. I had a chunk of flesh missing from my arm, and I was nearly unrecognizable from scarring. Still I stood outside the cave. She continued flashing forward. I couldn't tell how much time was lapsing in her visions, but each time, I was slightly more disfigured, and each time, I was standing outside the cave, waiting patiently for Bella to come around.

"It doesn't matter how far ahead I look. It's always the same, until…" Alice showed me her final vision. I was missing most of my fingers, one ear, and a portion of my chin. My clothes had long been shredded, and I had only scraps of leaves and mud covering me strategically. Every inch of my body that was visible was scarred and disfigured. Pieces of flesh were torn from seemingly random areas. Bella leapt out of the cave at me once more, separating my head from my body.

I stood in silence with my sister by my side, staring into the cave entrance. Alice, too, stared at the girl in the cave whom she'd once called a friend, but no longer recognized at all. We stood together, not speaking, for hours. Alice tried to keep her mind blank, but occasionally a thought would slip through, usually wondering if I was all right or if I had understood.

"It's no less than I deserve," I said finally.

Alice's body began to shake in fury. "You think you don't deserve to _live_? How could you think that?"

"I let this happen," I told her quietly.

"Not you. Some other Edward let this happen. I don't even know what _did_ happen, but it wasn't _your_ fault."

"You could be right. But I let her die."

Alice's lip trembled. "_I_ let her die, Edward. It was my fault. I told you it was my fault. Do you think I deserve to die?"

Several moments passed, and Alice began to think the worst. Of course I didn't think she deserved to die, but she had no way of knowing my thoughts. "In this world, you _are_ dead."

Alice blinked repeatedly. "Maybe you'd better tell me everything you've seen so far."

I sighed reluctantly. "I will, but first, a favor." Alice nodded warily. I reached into my pocket and retrieved the keys to the vehicle I'd parked in a secluded area three months before. "There is a Cadillac Escalade parked just outside the forest," I described its location to her. "Inside are several bags of clothing I purchased for Bella before I came here. Would you please get them?"

Alice squealed in delight and clapped her hands together before taking the keys from me. She gazed into the distance and then frowned upon seeing what type of clothing I'd bought. "Really, Edward, was that the best you could do?"

"I picked them for _Bella_," I informed her.

"All right, all right. And after I bring them back?"

I did not answer. I couldn't speak the words out loud. Alice looked ahead and saw that she and I would leave the forest together. Satisfied with that answer, she disappeared in the direction of the SUV that I'd hoped would be Bella's.

"Bella," I said, once Alice was out of hearing range. "Bella, I am so sorry that I failed you."

Bella growled from inside the cave.

"I'm sorry that I've interfered with your life here. You won't—" my voice faltered as I spoke, "—see me again. But I'm going to leave you with something. I hope you'll find use for it." I longed to caress her face, to give her a proper goodbye, but I knew that such an effort would reward me only with a lost fingertip or worse.

I had known all along that it would come to this, but I couldn't bear to make the decision.

I had sworn that I would never leave Bella again, and I was about to break my vow.

This time, at least, she wouldn't mind.

Alice returned with the clothes in less than an hour. I got as close to the cave as I could, then set the bags on the ground. "For you, Bella," I told her. Alice stayed a few feet behind, wanting to respect my distance, as well as avoid provoking Bella.

Bella poked her head out curiously, but did not approach. On the spur of the moment, I fished into my pocket once more and pulled the bottle cap out from it. I knew this was insanity. I knew she would have no use for it. I knew she didn't care for me. Nevertheless, I felt that it belonged to her. I lay the bottle cap on top of the largest bag. I kissed my fingertips, then placed them on the bottle cap. "Goodbye, Bella," I whispered.

_Don't turn your back on her,_ Alice warned. I nodded my agreement as we backed away to a safe distance.

Before we could leave the forest, I found a creek and sank beside it, my body heaving in tearless sobs. Alice stood behind me and rubbed her hand up and down my back, whispering soothingly to me. We remained there until sunset, when I finally drew myself upright.

"Let's get the hell out of here," I pleaded.


	36. Change

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Thirty Six – Change

Anyone other than Alice would be uncertain as to what happened next. They would have wondered if I wanted to leave the forest or simply shift immediately, wondered how I planned on getting to where I would shift, and wondered where, precisely, that was. Alice had the advantage of always knowing what happened next, but her gifts gave her no inkling of the reasons behind them. We trod back to where I had parked the Cadillac Escalade three months before, during a time when I'd had hope for my own future. She had a vision of herself driving, so she immediately hopped into the driver's seat, mercifully allowing me to sink into the passenger's seat with my thoughts.

Despite having been abandoned for so long, the SUV's engine turned over on the third try and ran as strongly as it must have on the day it was driven from the showroom. Alice pointed the car in the proper direction to travel back to Forks. She piloted the vehicle at an uncommonly human speed, doing her best to avoid looking at the future where only confusion awaited her. In the absence of the gifts that would have permitted her to ascertain when a police officer was lurking nearby and preoccupied with attempting to keep her thoughts blank, my sister didn't feel confident in her ability to evade law enforcement. She also worried how I would fare around humans, having been completely isolated from them for the entire summer.

We sat in silence as Alice drove. She already knew the way, having run here from Forks. Although she made a solid effort to keep from pressuring me into talking until I was ready, her confused thoughts would occasionally make their way to the surface. _What's this about Edward and Bella having a daughter? What happened to Bella to make her like that? Why is Edward dead? Why am _I_ dead?_ I pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger, trying to think of the most succinct explanation. I did need to explain everything to my sister before we reached our family's home. She needed to understand what kind of mess she'd be walking into.

Alice saw my gesture and smiled, then immediately felt guilty for her mirthful expression. "Sorry Edward. It's just that I always picture you doing that, but it's been so long since I've actually seen it," she said apologetically.

"It's all right," I replied, trying to keep my voice level. The silence had been broken now. We were still two hours away from Forks, and I had plenty of time to cover the situation with Alice. Where to begin?

"I understand how difficult that must have been for you," Alice tried to comfort me.

"I don't think you do," I replied, my voice seeming to come from somewhere outside of my own body. "You were right, though. As usual." This Bella was truly lost to me. It wouldn't have mattered how long I'd remained in her territory; I would never have been able to be _with_ her. Only near her. Somewhere in my mind, I had known this all along, but after so many disappointments, I was unwilling—or unable—to give in to the truth. I had been determined to mold this universe into what I so desperately wanted it to be, and I had wasted precious months of Bella's life in the world where I might eventually find her. I began to panic, worrying that these months I'd wasted could have been the last of my own Bella's life, wherever she was. Hadn't I determined that this was a race against the clock? I moaned softly to myself, contemplating what I would do if I turned out to already be too late.

Alice, unaware of the turmoil taking place in my head, responded only to my spoken words. "I wish I could have had better news for you," she said wistfully.

I cleared my throat, ready to change the subject to matters which were, for the moment at least, of greater urgency. I recalled the words Emmett had spoken to me in Universe Four with regard to the love triangle between himself, Bella, and Jacob. _And what's worrying about it change, in the end? I worry about it and she picks me, and all I did was waste my time worrying. I worry about it and she picks him, and all I did was wreck the good memories I could've had before she made her choice._ I tried to apply Emmett Four's philosophy to my own situation. If I worried about this matter and it wasn't too late already, all I'd done was waste time with my worrying. If I worried about this matter and it already was too late… Well, I wouldn't be bringing her back from the dead whether I worried or not, would I? I firmly pushed my trepidation aside, vowing to give it no more thought for the moment.

"Alice, there are some things you should know before we get back to Forks," I began.

Alice breathed a sigh of relief. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to push you to fill me in on things," she commented.

"The answers to all of the questions you've been trying so hard not to think about are very closely intertwined. Bella and Edward did indeed have a daughter in this universe. Quite a few more adventures took place prior to their wedding, but few of those stories are relevant to the matter at hand presently. The one point of importance is that Bella developed a very close relationship with Jacob Black, one of the Quileute wolves." Alice choked a gasp back in her throat, wanting very much to avoid interrupting me. "She didn't know he was a wolf in the beginning; in fact, he hadn't even begun to transform yet. The two of them actually fell in love, for a time, but she loved Edward far more.

"During their honeymoon, Bella and Edward succeeded in doing what Carlisle thought impossible and conceived a child. The—" I struggled to think of an appropriate word. What was the equivalent of _biracial_ when one of the individuals was an entirely different species? "—hybrid child developed at a greatly accelerated rate in the womb, going from conception to birth in just under one month." Once more, Alice had to work hard to force herself from reacting overtly to this information. I continued, "The advanced rate of growth alone would have harmed Bella's body, but because the fetus was actually stronger than her, it was essentially killing her. Edward and Carlisle had wanted to abort in the beginning, but Bella was determined to carry to term, and Rosalie was on her side, for reasons which I'm sure you can imagine.

"Throughout the process, Bella's other love, Jacob Black, spent a great deal of time at her side. The delivery of the baby was particularly messy, and there are no words quite strong enough to properly express how very near to death Bella was as a result of this birth. Edward had planned to turn Bella quickly, but Jacob became enraged, apparently believing that Bella was dead and blaming Edward. He transformed into a wolf and killed Edward on the spot." Alice gazed sadly at the road ahead, trying to imagine how she would have reacted if it had been her own Edward, me, who had been killed in that way.

"Carlisle had some difficulty getting into the room to work on beginning Bella's transformation. Edward had had a plan in place of injecting venom directly into her heart, but the vial of venom had been destroyed during his scuffle with Jacob. Bella had been left untreated for precious minutes, resulting in oxygen deprivation to her brain. Carlisle isn't certain whether her brain was damaged, whether it was the delay in beginning her transformation, or whether it was the extent of her injuries, but Bella took an uncommonly long time to undergo the full transformation." I tried to gloss over the full length of time Bella had burned, but Alice was speculating in her head and was nowhere near the correct answer, so I filled in the gaps. "She burned for a total of eight days," I told her.

Alice had no memories of her own transformation and had never personally witnessed a vampire-to-human change, so these words had only a fraction of the impact on her that they would have had on any other of our kind. Still, she understood that this was highly irregular and must have been unbearable for Bella.

"Carlisle isn't sure, once again, whether it was the length of the transformation or the factors that may have existed before she was changed which caused her to lose her… more evolved sensibilities," I choked out. "Whatever the case may be, Bella is as you saw her. I feel uniquely qualified to say that there is no hope of her miraculously regaining her higher reasoning capabilities." As hard as I tried to make my voice sound passive and clinical, there was no fooling my sister. She took her right hand off the steering wheel and placed it in my left, offering me her comfort. I took a breath and continued, knowing that the rest of the story needed to be told before we reached Forks.

"In the meantime, Jacob saw the baby on his way out of the house and imprinted on her." Alice's brow furrowed. She was unfamiliar with this term, never having learned as much about the wolves as I had over the past few months. "It's something the wolves do," I explained. "It's an amplified form of love at first sight, and it renders the wolf a sort of prisoner to the will of their imprint. It's a happy sort of prison for the wolf though; nothing brings them greater happiness than to please their imprint. They live and breathe for the target of their imprinting, who becomes their entire universe." This concept was not entirely unfamiliar to Alice, since it was very similar in many ways to how vampires fell in love. She nodded, indicating that I should continue.

"He wanted to be near the baby, but the family feared for the baby's life. Moments before, Jacob had murdered Edward and had blamed him for impregnating Bella with a baby who had ended her life, from his point of view. Without Edward to read his thoughts and determine how sincere he may have been, they had no other choice than to assume that he meant to do the baby harm in revenge for killing Bella. They would not allow him near the baby.

"For six months, Jacob refused to go home. He stayed on the front porch, begging to be let in to see the baby. He sent for other members of the pack—while in wolf form, they are able to communicate telepathically—who had imprinted and asked them to explain the situation to the family. They would not relent, still angry with him for killing Edward and frightened of what he might do." I hesitated, knowing that I was reaching the part of the story that would be the most difficult for Alice to hear. "After six months, the wolves made a strike on the house. They tricked the family into believing that Jacob had finally taken his leave of them, and Carlisle and Esme left to track down Bella. The entire pack came back that night with only Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie to defend the baby.

"Although, as I understand it, all four of them fought valiantly, the wolves ascertained that Alice was the weakest link in that particular battle and killed her. With her dead, Jasper was unable to continue fighting, and Jacob was able to slip in to kidnap the baby while the rest of the pack kept Emmett and Rosalie occupied. That was two years ago. The baby hasn't been seen since." I finished the tale, waiting for the stream of questions that Alice was sure to have. I didn't have to wait long.

"I couldn't see the wolves, so I had no idea how to fight them," Alice whispered miserably. "Just like how I couldn't see them attacking Laurent." She sat quietly for several seconds. "What's the baby's name?"

Of all the questions Alice could have asked, I wasn't expecting this to be her first. "Renesmee," I answered. "It's a combination of—"

"Bella's mother and Edward's mother, I get it," Alice grinned. A dark expression overtook her features a moment later. "How is he?"

I didn't need to ask to whom she was referring. "You remember how I was, I assume?"

"Oh no…"

"With me, no one around me had to _feel_ what I was feeling," I said, a bit more ominously than I'd intended.

Alice closed her eyes in pain, taking in the implication of what the entire family had been forced to endure. I actually needed to remind her that she was driving and should therefore watch the road. "Sorry," she mumbled, opening her eyes. "Well," she said, her voice brightening up slightly, "we'll be away from here soon." She withdrew the device once again and showed me, while keeping most of her attention on the road, how to use the device's improved settings to pinpoint my home universe and return there, as well as how to use its "randomizer" feature to continue doing what I'd already spent the summer doing.

"This alters my plans a little," she confessed. "I had hoped we'd be able to get Carlisle from this universe to swap the device you have in your skin for this one. It looks like we'll have to go back home first and get our own Carlisle to do it. I don't know _what_ I'm going to tell Jasper, but I'll think of something." Out of habit, she tried to search the future for something involving our own Jasper, having momentarily forgotten that she was limited to only looking in whatever future she currently occupied. She immediately gasped in plain agony, nearly veering the SUV into a ditch. She had caught a vision of this universe's Jasper and seen how he lived every day.

"There's something I need to do before we leave," I told her quietly. "Now that you've seen why, perhaps I won't need to spend the next hour convincing you."

Alice took her eyes off the road once again, causing me to cringe and grab the steering wheel. She blinked at me repeatedly, making every effort to keep her mouth shut and avoid gaping openly at me. "Edward, you're going to—"

"Yes," I interrupted. "He deserves the opportunity. His life is miserable here, Alice, and he's making everyone around him miserable too. Somewhere, there simply _must_ exist a universe where Jasper didn't survive his early life in the South and you moved in with the Cullens by yourself. And unlike my own journey, his has no expiration date. You've been a vampire for decades. He quite literally has forever to search for you."

Alice muttered something incomprehensible under her breath, and I avoided looking into her mind to find out what it was. "Fine," she said. I had a feeling that I would have had a much more difficult time convincing her if it had been any member of the family other than Jasper. "At least that doesn't alter my plan," she added.

"What plan?" I still had no idea what she'd been talking about when she alluded to needing to tell her own Jasper something.

"Well, remember when I told you why I was the one who came looking for you?" she asked sheepishly.

"Of course. It just happened this morning," I jabbed lightly at my sister.

"That wasn't—it was the reason I gave to everyone else, but it wasn't the whole reason," she confessed. "I'm going to come along to help you."

It was my turn to stare at Alice, and I was much less successful than she at making my face less blatantly shocked than I felt. "Alice, you can't," I informed her simply. "The pain of shifting alone… And Jasper, he needs you!"

"Edward, we'll get this done so much faster if I go along. Each time we get to a new place, I'll search my visions for Bella and tell you if she's alive, if she's with you, if she's with somebody else. We won't even need to leave the clearing unless something is fuzzy or confusing to me. I suppose if she doesn't have a future at all, we'll have to investigate whether it's because something happened to her or whether it's because she's with Jacob, but apart from that, I would guess that I can get you through this in less than one-fifth the time it would otherwise take." She spoke proudly of her abilities, which was somewhat unusual for my sister. Typically, she just viewed them as something she could do, in much the same way anyone else might speak of being able to hear or taste.

"Alice, no." I told her firmly. "I can handle this on my own."

My sister looked extraordinarily hurt. "Please, Edward. Please let me do this for you. It's my fault that she…" Alice's voice faltered, her words catching in her throat. She still blamed herself for the incident with Laurent that had taken my own Bella's life, and she now wanted to come along with me to make it up to me by accelerating the process that would lead me to Bella again. If I denied her the chance to help, she would go on blaming herself forever unless and until she heard from me again. I truly had no way of knowing how long this would take, and since my backup plan continued to be death, it seemed plausible that she may never hear from me again. Thus, she would go on blaming herself forever. I wondered silently whether Alice was somehow aware of my contingency plan and had come to "babysit" me and prevent that particular outcome. Regardless, I was backed into a corner.

"Remember what you predicted about two Edwards giving you headaches?" I asked her. She nodded, and I made my point. "You were right. All of the other Alices I've encountered have had headaches, so long as there was an Edward in their own universe."

"I'll just stick to looking for Bella's future then. If I can't find her, I'll look for Edward. I can put up with headaches now and again." Alice was being extraordinarily stubborn, but she was beginning to see that she was winning. A tiny, smug smile was forming on her face as I sighed. She had a point. It might be nice to avoid the daily interrogations with the Cullen family in each universe. We would be saving Esme countless tables and pillows if I never had to have another long, emotional discussion with the family.

"We'll try it," I allowed. "But if the headaches get to be too much for you—"

"They won't, they won't!" Alice squealed in delight, not allowing me to place conditions on my agreement.

"—I'll take you home immediately," I finished. "And if it looks like we'll be gone more than a couple of weeks, we have to go back and you'll need to find something to tell Jasper. He might assume that you ran into trouble finding me, but any longer than that and he'll be worried sick."

Alice agreed readily, taking both hands off the steering wheel to clap excitedly. I grumbled and gripped the wheel again, not particularly anxious to have another near-incident with the SUV. "And I get to see Bella again!" My sister seemed nearly as happy about this prospect as I was. Of course, I should have realized that she missed her friend, whom she also considered to be a sister. A wave of guilt washed over me as I acknowledged that I had never really considered how my family, too, must have mourned Bella's loss. I had been too preoccupied with my own pain to pay it any mind whatsoever. Time and time again, I'd had opportunities to do the right thing, and time and time again, I had failed.

Leaving Bella hadn't only killed her and destroyed me. It had also ruined Charlie's life, as I'd seen in the second place I had visited—although, to be fair, Bella hadn't actually been _dead_ in that universe, but Charlie believed her to be—,and it had damaged my family as well. One decision, by one individual, causing so much destruction, upset, and heartache. If I had made only that one choice differently, so many people would be so much better off. I was truly beginning to forget why I had believed in the first place that leaving Bella was for the best. After all I'd encountered, it seemed obvious that this was a ludicrous course of action. Leave Bella? Such a thing would serve no more purpose than bulldozing my family's home just to watch the supports crumble. In truth, it may have actually been worse. A house could, in short order, be rebuilt or replaced. Bella could only be remembered.

Alice didn't speak again until we were nearly in Forks. Suddenly, she cried out. "Oh no!"

"What is it?" I was alarmed, fearing that she had seen something in the Cullens' future which was even worse than what had already transpired.

"I should have stopped in Seattle to get you some new clothes!"

I snorted. Of all the things to concern herself with… "It's fine," I muttered.

Alice momentarily continued to be distraught, then suddenly, she relaxed. "You're right," she agreed, "it will be fine. I'm sure our family here probably still has some of your clothes left, I'll just run in and pick out—"

"No!" I interrupted her, my voice a bit too harsh. I couldn't meet her gaze when she turned her head once more in my direction. Instead, I stared out the window at the lush green terrain. "No," I repeated, more softly this time.

"Why on Earth _not_, Edward? You've been there. You think if they see a second dead family member it will push them over the edge?"

"It's not that, it's…" As easily as she'd accepted my desire to send Jasper on the same journey as my own, it would be nearly impossible for her to recognize that he could actually present a danger to her. In his current mental state, if Alice suddenly walked into the house, his actions could not be predicted. He might become elated, which could be mildly dangerous if he broke her bones by embracing her too hard, but she would heal. It was equally possible, however, that he would think she was an illusion, or worse, that someone was deliberately attempting to deceive him. In that case, it was entirely possible that he might kill her, just to prove to himself that she wasn't real. I didn't find this outcome particularly likely, but I wasn't willing to gamble Alice's life on the premise that Jasper would readily accept her presence as something readily explainable.

Still, I couldn't tell Alice that I had such little faith in her husband. She would be furious with me for suggesting such a thing was possible. My sister had never had occasion to experience firsthand the loss of her soulmate. She had no idea the depths of madness to which one could be driven, absent half of their soul. Interesting. It seemed I believed I had a soul after all.

"You recall how I was just before you told me about the device?" I decided to try a different approach.

Alice shuddered at the memory. "Of course," she answered.

"And you must surely have realized that I was only in such high spirits because I believed that I would be released from my eternal existence soon?"

Alice made a face not unlike one she might have made if she'd been forced to eat human food. "You call those high spirits?"

"Compared to how I was just before Carlisle called me, yes."

"Fine, so you were a hundred times worse than that. What's your point?"

"Jasper does not believe there is an end in sight." I let that statement hang in the air, hoping that Alice would grasp the meaning on her own.

"Oh come on, what's the worst that could happen? You think I can't handle seeing him like that?" She had missed the point completely.

"I think _he_ can't handle seeing _you_."

We had arrived at this timeline's version of my family's home, and Alice parked the SUV outside. She made no effort to acknowledge my words, either verbally or silently. Instead, she got out of the car and slammed the door, her jaw set. I growled, ready to tackle her if need be. She surprised me by returning my growl and raising me a hiss. She started to head toward the house, and I chased after her.

Suddenly, Alice crumpled to the ground in a heap, clutching at her sides as if her ribs had come spilling out and she were trying to force them back in. I needn't have followed her after all. Unprepared as she was for the feeling of despair that Jasper was unintentionally emanating, my sister had been overcome by the sense that there was no point in arguing any longer, or in anything at all. Although the feeling was extremely distressing to me as well, I had at least had some idea of what was coming. I reached down and took the improved device from Alice and forced myself onward toward the house, leaving her outside sobbing. I would return for her shortly, by which time Jasper would be in a much better mood.

In addition to the terrible sensation of agony, the house also reeked of werewolf. What had happened in the last three months? Had Jacob returned to kill some more members of my family? I managed to regain control of my emotions enough to panic for a few seconds. Without knocking, I shoved open the door and went inside.

Seth was there, along with a human female I didn't recognize. Both sat just in front of the couch, unmoving, uncaring. The little girl I'd observed briefly in Universe Two was present as well, and she was not in any better mental state than either of them. She seemed to have aged almost a year since I'd last seen her only months before. I didn't know for how long the trio had been present, but I was concerned about the safety of all three of them. Although my family could go on without sustenance for as long as necessary, neither the wolf nor the human would be able to survive indefinitely without food, and I wasn't sure as to whether the hybrid child could either.

I noted vaguely that the phone had been ringing the entire time I'd been in the house, but no one seemed overly concerned about answering it. I, too, didn't feel that answering the phone seemed a necessary task. In fact, coming here in the first place had been pointless. Everything was pointless. There would never be any meaning in anything again.

Carlisle rose from the couch, slowly, deliberately. "Edward," he said softly. "We weren't expecting you to return."

Seth looked up at me in confusion. "Edward? But you're—I mean Jacob—"

"Killed him, yes," Carlisle forced himself to speak through the agony. I was beginning to believe that my father could have found a way to survive if the unthinkable had somehow happened and he had lost Esme. He alone seemed to be able to handle Jasper's mood well enough to function, albeit on a greatly reduced basis. "This Edward comes to us from another timeline." The effort of speaking seemed to have taken a toll on Carlisle, but he still looked at me, a combination of expectance and sadness reflected in his gaze.

"I need… favor…" I was barely able to choke out the words. "My device… I need… I have…" I sighed, pausing to collect my thoughts and becoming lost in the anguish Jasper unwillingly projected around him. After taking a deep breath and forcing myself to think of the Bella that awaited me in another world, I managed to speak clearly. "Someone from my own timeline arrived to give me an improved device. I need you to remove the one implanted under my skin and replace it with the new one." This was all I had energy to say.

Without warning, the mood in the house changed dramatically. The human girl leapt up in alarm. "Oh my goodness!" she cried out. "We've been here for hours! The phone… Paul must be freaking out!" She dashed across the room hastily to answer, not even bothering to ask permission. In the absence of the overwhelming despair, I had enough of my senses to read her thoughts for a few moments. It was, indeed, a wolf named Paul, calling to check on her well-being. He was furious that she hadn't called at the time they'd agreed upon, and he'd been getting ready to come down himself to check on her. He calmed down quickly once she informed him that she was fine, was most definitely still human, but had simply been caught up in an unexpected problem which she was more than capable of handling on her own. She seemed slightly hotheaded, but it reminded me in a way of Bella, which made me smile.

Smile? How was I able to smile? Was Jasper…

"Who was it?" Jasper spoke, and the sound of his voice shocked my parents, as well as my brother and sister to their core. This was the first time they'd heard him utter a single word in months. No one made any move to answer, and no one seemed to understand what he was asking.

"Who was it," he repeated, "who came to give you the device?"

This was not good. If I tried to lie to Jasper, he would sense my emotional turmoil.

As it was, my discomfort was all he needed.

"_Where is she_?" he demanded. He crossed the room in what seemed like a single step, grabbing me by the shoulders. In his thoughts, I could see that he was momentarily taken aback by the scars I now had covering my neck and arms, but he ignored them completely. "_Take me to her _now!" he shouted.

Behind us, the human girl was also shouting. "Why didn't you _stop_ him? You idiot, he's going to get himself killed! Well maybe _you_ don't care, but that's my brother you're talking about!"

In all of the commotion, I hadn't paused to consider that Alice, no longer pinned by Jasper's emotional state, would manage to make her way to the doorway. Suddenly, an uncontrollable wave of pure ecstasy overtook the room. Renesmee began to stagger around in a dreamlike state, and the adults in the room were not much more controlled than she.

"Alice!" Jasper released me and fell to his knees.

"Hi everybody," my sister sang out to a shocked roomful of supposedly mythical creatures. Her tone of voice made it clear that she, too, was affected by Jasper's elevated mood. "There's a really big naked guy outside. Well, first he was a really big dog, but then he saw me and turned into a really big naked guy so he could scream at me for trying to trick him. Then he spent the next couple of minutes apologizing for killing me, and now he wants to know if he can please come inside and see Renesmee. If you're going to let him in, can I go upstairs and get him something to wear first?"


	37. Divided

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Thirty Seven – Divided

No one immediately moved to answer Alice's query. Emmett, Rosalie, and my parents were just gaping openly at her with goofy grins plastered across their features – a by-product of Jasper's sudden, uncontrollable joy. This was, by far, preferable to his uncontrollable despair, but could prove disastrous when he realized that Alice was not here to stay. The human girl, whose name I had by now gathered was Rachel after listening in on her phone conversation, was equally happy, but her happiness had more to do with the "big naked guy" outside. She was pleased that Jacob, revealed by her thoughts to be the brother she'd spoken of, was, for the time being at least, unharmed. Seth and Renesmee were both simply happy in general, as if they didn't need a reason to feel this way and so didn't question the emotion or its depth.

Jasper hadn't looked back up at Alice. _She's not staying, she's not staying, she's not staying, don't get attached, she's not staying, she's not staying,_ he was repeating over and over in his mind. I should have given my brother more credit. He'd already worked out the fact that Alice wouldn't be staying here, and yet he was still this overcome with bliss simply knowing that she existed somewhere. I wished that I could be as selfless as he. The knowledge that Bella existed in many, many places was a comfort to me, but I still wanted her for myself. Still, filled as I currently was with this pleasant feeling, despite knowing that it was not my own, I couldn't help feeling a bit more optimistic about the Bella I'd left behind hours before. She would go on, probably forever, and would never need to feel sorrow or loss. It was true that she may never experience true happiness either, but she would also never be aware that she was missing anything or feel the desire for anything more than she had.

She would be content.

Perhaps that was enough.

Without receiving a response, Alice danced upstairs to fetch some clothing for Jacob, a fact for which I was somewhat grateful. No matter how happy everyone was at the moment, I doubted very much that Rachel would ever look fondly on the memory of the time her brother had waltzed fully nude into a house full of vampires and greeted her. I also found it less than appropriate for him to appear in such a manner before a small child.

In a flash, Alice had returned with a new outfit for me, as well as some clothes of Emmett's for Jacob to don. I muttered to her that a pair of shorts would have been enough, and she stuck her tongue out at me. Alice hadn't had as much experience dealing with the wolves as I, and she was unaware of their typical custom of walking around in nothing but shorts.

I excused myself to change out of my tattered, filthy, and blood-caked garments, transferring the contents of my pocket into the new jacket. I still had a sizeable sum of money, and I was sure that Alice had brought more along in her shiny red purse. She had probably brought identification for me as well, I realized, but I kept the passport and driver's license anyway in case I'd guessed wrong. Out of habit, I reached back into the pocket to retrieve my sole possession of importance, but instead of the worn bottle cap which I had left behind, my fingers closed around a battered piece of paper. I unfurled the note and read over it again, although I had, of course, committed the simple sentence to memory.

_Edward's future is clear now._

It had been another Alice who had left this memento for me about another Edward, and yet the words contained profound new meaning. My future was with a Bella who was capable of loving me back, not the savage vampire who lived in the woods nearby. Tempted as I still was to send Jasper on his journey and tell Alice to go home without me, I knew that I had to press on. Somewhere, there was a Bella who needed me as I needed her. Perhaps it was Jasper's errant glee leading me to this new optimism, but I knew that the choice I'd made had been right.

I carefully refolded the piece of paper and placed it in the pocket of the new jacket Alice had brought, then tossed the scraps that had once been clothing into the garbage before returning to the living room. Jacob was standing tentatively in the doorway. He had gotten dressed much more quickly than I had, since he hadn't needed to pull off and dispose of any clothing, nor transfer the contents of one garment's pockets to another. Jasper's wave of happiness was reaching him, as evidenced by the way he bounced up and down on the balls of his feet while waiting to be formally invited inside.

"Hello Jacob," I greeted him pleasantly.

Jacob looked at me and grinned, then resumed staring at Renesmee. He then looked at me again, doing a double take. "Edward?" _What the hell, how are you and Pixie alive?_

I felt a goofy smile spread over my face. Jasper's emotions were extremely strong and he didn't seem to remember how to reign them in at all. "I'm sorry to disappoint you. I'm afraid you and your pack were, indeed, responsible for the deaths of both Edward and Alice. She and I are here from another timeline." Unsurprisingly, I felt no trepidation this time at revealing the details to people outside of my family. I had already revealed the same to Jacob numerous times, as well as to Seth on more than one occasion. Rachel was a new person being brought into the loop, but how could such a trivial thing really matter to me when everything in the world was just so _happy_?

Jacob's regret must have been extremely powerful, because he was able to feel a twinge of it even through the shell of pleasure that encompassed us all. "I'm sorry." He addressed his apology to me, which seemed extraordinarily funny.

Jasper, the source of my amusement and joy, had positioned himself next to Alice, but was still unwilling to touch her. _If she's not real, I don't want to know it. I want to go on remembering this long after she's gone,_ he thought. He didn't want to spoil the illusion if his hand should pass through her. He hadn't been present for my explanation three months before, and I was sure that the others would have failed to see the point in filling him in on anything, or indeed, in saying or doing anything at all once they'd returned to the house under his dark cloud.

Rosalie was seated on the couch with Renesmee squirming delightedly in her lap. My sister's arms were wrapped around my counterpart's daughter from behind, protecting her instinctively from Jacob despite the blissful feeling that she, too, felt.

"Jacob Jacob Jacob!" the little girl sang out. She struggled, trying to loosen herself from Rosalie's protective grasp, but being only half vampire and quite small, she couldn't even come close to freeing herself from the much stronger Rosalie. Renesmee reached up with her right hand and touched Rosalie's cheek, projecting images into my sister's mind of how happy she was to see Jacob and how much fun they always had together.

Rosalie gasped in surprise. "The dog makes you happy?" She stared incredulously at the hybrid child, unable to deny the truth in what she'd been shown, but still not fully comprehending.

"Yes! Jacob is the best ever!" Renesmee's enthusiastic response captured the attention of everyone in the room, whether human, vampire, or wolf. "He tells me stories and sings me songs, he brings me stuffed animals and makes them dance for me. He takes me hunting and it's so fun! He's my favorite person in the whole world," she finished matter-of-factly.

Rosalie frowned slightly, her eyes darting uncomfortably to Emmett for support. Emmett shrugged his massive shoulders and made a beckoning motion toward the doorway. "Come on in, then," he told Jacob.

Jacob did not wait around to be asked a second time. He bolted inside at the fastest speed he was capable of managing while in human form and knelt in front of the couch at Rosalie's feet. He paid absolutely no mind to my sister. Renesmee was the only thing in the world that mattered to him. "Nessie, are you all right? You were gone so long and I was worried."

Renesmee giggled and placed her hand on Jacob's cheek, showing him what had taken place over the last several hours. "See? I was sad, and I didn't know why, but now I'm happy. Everybody's happy!"

It was true; everyone was still extraordinarily pleased. In the back of my mind, I knew that my family would never have considered allowing Jacob in the house, even after everything that had happened, if not for Jasper's shift in mood. Under this blinding bright light, they could see no reason to keep him away. Rosalie was still slightly wary, but she could see the quiet ease with which Renesmee and Jacob interacted.

"Jazz, Edward, let's go for a walk," Alice's request was meant to remove Jasper from the room so that everyone else could have a coherent conversation with regard to custody of Renesmee. Jasper was startled by her request and particularly by her insistence that I come along as well, but he readily agreed. I understood Alice's request even without the ability to read her mind. She wanted me to aid in the explanation of why we were there and the gift we would be bestowing upon Jasper. She also thought that it would be beneficial to the family's discussion if their decisions were not unduly influenced by the presence of either of their fallen members.

Ordinarily, it would have upset me that I was to miss the scene that would unfold, but it was actually imperative that I be present for the tale we were about to tell to Jasper. Loathe as I was to admit it, the decision of where Renesmee would live and how she would be permitted to see everyone who loved her was not mine to participate in. Under the circumstances, Jasper's future took precedence.

Once we had traveled a short distance from the house, Jasper found his voice once again. "Alice, it's great to see you. I heard what Edward said about you being from another timeline. I know that means you're leaving soon, but…" Jasper still couldn't contain his delight at seeing Alice.

"That's actually something we wanted to talk to you about," Alice said brightly.

At Jasper's confused expression and Alice's seeming reluctance to tell the portion of the story which was mine, I spoke up. "Jasper, the reason I'm traveling is because in our universe, I lost Bella." Jasper nodded wordlessly, indicating that I should continue. He had already suspected that Bella had something to do with this. "I was…" I paused, struggling to think of words to express what I'd undergone for three years before beginning this journey. "My mood was no different from yours."

Alice gasped. _You felt _that_ bad? _She recalled all too clearly the blanket of anguish she'd felt outside moments before, smothering her with emptiness and threatening to never allow another happy thought into her mind, body, or soul again. I nodded to her in acknowledgement before continuing.

"The circumstances were a bit different, of course. It happened while I was already living apart from the rest of the family, and I simply didn't return. Without my presence to upset them, the rest of the family was able to create an apparatus which would permit travel between worlds. I had, and have, one goal in mind: To locate an Isabella Swan who is not already romantically involved and would be unopposed to becoming my mate. It is incredibly difficult, but it is also not without its rewards."

"That all sounds very interesting, Edward, and I'm sorry to interrupt, but what does any of this have to do with Alice?" Jasper was growing mildly impatient, but he was doing his best to push it aside and revel in his jubilance before it was taken from him once more.

"Alice is here," I told him, "to deliver an improved device to me. You see, when my family created the original device, it had limitations. I was never to be able to return home. The new device has an additional feature which allows for locking onto a specific universe's signature and returning to it. In other words, I will be able to return home. The unit will transport Alice and myself easily. This means that I no longer have use for the device I've been using up to this point," I informed him.

Jasper's brow furrowed in confusion, but after a moment he took in the impact of what I'd told him. A hand involuntarily fluttered to his mouth as he gasped. "You're going to let me—"

"Yes," Alice interrupted him. "If you want. But it's not pleasant at all," she warned him. For some reason I couldn't understand, Alice had begun frantically blocking her thoughts again when I'd spoken of the device and its additional feature. It seemed as if there were something she wasn't telling me about the improved device's specifications. I made a mental note to ask her about it later.

I hadn't thought it possible for Jasper's mood to lift any further, but he had found a new level of mirth I'd never experienced. All three of us bounced and skipped and clapped together. We must have looked quite ridiculous to any onlookers. Fortunately, the only audience we had was a squirrel, who instinctively darted up a tree upon our approach.

"Jasper," I tried to sound serious, or even neutral, but my voice came out as a sort of giggle. "When Alice said the experience isn't pleasant, she meant it. The pain that comes with shifting worlds is second only to the pain of transformation. In addition, you will never be able to return home with the device we give you."

"That's all right, that's all right!" Jasper cried out.

"Is it possible that there exists a universe where Alice lives and you do not?" I knew it was impossible that a world could exist where they had met but were not together.

"Yes," Jasper said slowly, thinking it over. "There were many fights I nearly lost. Many times when I _would_ have lost if my enemies hadn't underestimated me. And I believe that Maria would have eventually killed me, if I hadn't left with Peter and Charlotte."

"You understand that it may take you years, even decades, to find such a place? Universe selection is completely random. So far, you have been alive in each universe I've visited."

"I understand. I have all the time in the world to look though. I'll never die without outside influence, and neither will Alice." For the briefest of moments, sadness overtook him again as he thought of his own fallen Alice. My sister squeezed his shoulder and his face brightened up again immediately.

For the next several minutes, I went over the rules with Jasper. Don't involve anyone outside of the family. Don't get caught. Don't do anything suspicious. I also added my speculations about the Volturi into the mix—my theory that knowledge of the device's existence could be enough to bring about the end of the world as we knew it and that extra caution should be used. Jasper was not quite as curious by nature as I, so he would likely move on quickly upon determining that his counterpart was alive in a given universe, not feeling any particular need to linger for further details about what made each place different from his own. I could hear his thoughts harkening back to his early days of discipline and goal-oriented focus. He would get in, and get out.

"One more thing," I added. "If I ever learn that you used this device to 'cheat' on your diet by killing a human in a universe where you knew that you, personally, could never be blamed…"

Alice piped up. "Your Alice wouldn't like that. And I promise you, she would find out eventually."

That was all of the motivation Jasper needed. "Gold eyes only, understood ma'am." A single slip-up could sabotage his chance at happiness, and so he would make certain that no slip-ups took place. Of course there was no guarantee that his discipline would be 100%, but it would be at least as good as it would be if he was planning to stay put. He would not like lives carelessly simply because the consequences to him would be lessened.

"Anything else I need to know?" Jasper was grinning, unable to stop. His happiness at seeing Alice wasn't nearly as fleeting as he'd believed it would be.

"Carlisle will need to remove my device from where it is implanted and place it into your skin," I told him. "It's slightly uncomfortable, but it's never caused me any serious distraction. It is, quite frankly, a very good thing that it's been implanted in that manner. In the last three months alone, it could have been broken countless times." I tried not to dwell on the reasons I'd spent three months in one place.

Jasper seemed suddenly fascinated by his own shoes. "So, Bella, she's…"

"Not Bella anymore," I finished firmly, making it clear with my tone of voice that the subject was closed. Mercifully, Jasper didn't press the subject further.

"So, can we go back and get the surgery underway?" Jasper was ready to begin immediately. I insisted that he should feed first, and we spent another half hour bounding around the woods happily, hunting whatever game we could find. We started back in the direction of the house, and even with the joy I felt, I couldn't help being slightly apprehensive about what type of agreement my family would have reached with Jacob.

When we entered the house, Renesemee was still present, curled up in a corner of the couch sleeping contentedly, but there was no sign of Jacob, Seth, or Rachel. Seeing the question in my eyes, Carlisle explained.

"Jacob is going to talk to Sam to work on drawing up a new treaty, since the original was more or less dissolved. Under the new terms, we would be permitted on Quileute land in order to drop off, pick up, or check on Renesmee. The remaining terms about biting a human would still apply, but Jacob agreed that the wording may have been a bit too restrictive in case an extenuating circumstance should ever arise where someone may have legitimate reason to request this life. In exchange for the loosening of some points of the treaty, we're being restricted to providing the pack with notice when we plan to move, as well as the location we intend to move to. Jacob will always move nearby. When Renesmee is old enough to make a decision for herself about where to live and whom to visit, the treaty will be redrawn again."

"You're going to let him keep seeing her after what he did?" Jasper's happiness faded slightly, a tinge of anger seeping into his emotional state.

"What he did was unforgivable," Esme spoke up. "But how does it help anything to make Renesmee miserable too? She wants to see him, and she wants to see us, and it's not something she's going to get over or forget about. We have to find a way to work together, for her sake."

"I also think I believe what he said," Emmett interjected. "I don't think he ever meant for any of us to die. Not that it excuses the fact that we lost nearly half our family," he added quickly. "But I'm positive he's not a danger to Renesmee."

"I have an announcement to make too," Jasper's voice carried a hint of sadness he didn't truly feel. "I'm leaving."

Carlisle and Esme were not shocked in the slightest, but they still wanted to be sure. "Are you certain?" Carlisle asked.

"I've never been more certain of anything," Jasper confirmed.

Secretly, Rosalie was relieved. She and Jasper had always gotten along amicably enough, but she hadn't been looking forward to resuming the despair in which she'd spent the past two years as soon as Alice and I left. She had also been wondering what kind of environment this was for Renesmee and had been considering how to keep Renesmee away from Jasper while still allowing her visitation with Jacob. Even with her distaste for the werewolf, she had been unable to deny that Renesmee's life would be profoundly negatively impacted if she weren't permitted to see him. _Don't you dare say anything to him,_ she told me fiercely. _I miss Alice too, and he's been through enough. _

Rosalie wasn't the only one to feel a degree of relief at Jasper's impending departure. Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett were all pleased in varying quantities. Esme was sad to be losing yet another of her children, but happy that it was under much better circumstances. She'd seen that Jasper was suffering and was glad to know that it was, at last, at an end. Emmett would miss Jasper terribly, but he couldn't deny that life had been unbearable with him around since Alice's passing. He would always mourn his fallen family members, but now he would be able to try to move on and become the best surrogate father to Renesmee that he could be.

As for Carlisle, his thoughts were in turmoil. He shared many of the same feelings as the others. He was happy that Jasper's suffering was over at last, and sad to be losing him. Unlike the others, his thoughts were returning to the same place I'd seen them so many times, in so many universes. Carlisle was questioning whether he should have ever turned any of us in the first place, particularly me. It seemed that I'd had happiness for such a brief, fleeting time, and standing here before him was yet another version of me who was unhappy. Of course, Alice and Jasper would have still been vampires, but with Alice's gifts, they would have found one another, and probably found Carlisle and Esme as well. He had no doubt in his mind that he would have turned Esme in any event, taken by her as he was. Alice would still be alive if the circumstances had been different, and Jasper would have gone on for all time, blissfully unaware at how fragile his own contentment was. I blamed myself upon hearing these thoughts. If I'd never been here, Jasper would never have lost Alice. Carlisle, on the other hand, blamed himself. In his point of view, it had been his own selfishness and loneliness which had led him to rob from me my humanity and condemn me to this existence, where it seemed I might never find happiness.

After I explained the need for Carlisle's expertise, he and I moved into his lab along with Jasper and Alice. As I leaned back onto the small table for him to remove the device, I spoke to him quietly.

"I wish you weren't so regretful about changing me."

Carlisle's eyes, dark bronze from going longer than he should have without feeding, widened. _I'm sorry, Edward. I don't regret any of the time we've spent together, and I certainly don't regret having had you in my life. I've just spent so many decades wondering if it was the right choice. For you. It was, without a doubt, the right choice for me._

"It was," I told him. "I would never have met Bella if you hadn't."

Carlisle nodded and swiftly completed the extraction, reaching out a hand for the improved device, which Alice obediently placed into it. Moments later, my skin was healed over once more. Jasper took my place and Carlisle implanted my original device under his skin in the same location. My brother didn't even notice the discomfort in his excited mindset.

"Thank you, Carlisle," I told him sincerely. "I wish all of you the best of luck. Alice and I need to get going now. We have much to do, and I also don't want to confuse Renesmee with my presence when she wakes up. I don't think she really registered who I was in all of the commotion, and I don't want to traumatize her."

Carlisle sighed, his shoulders slumping forward. "Of course," he said. "I knew I'd be saying goodbye to you again soon." I smiled sadly in response.

Alice leapt forward to embrace our father. "Goodbye, Carlisle. The five of you are going to be just fine."

"I know we will," Carlisle smiled at my sister. "The three of you have your own journey to undertake."

We returned to the living room and said a very emotional goodbye to Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett. Jasper would be sorely missed, and Alice and I were already sorely missed. It had been an incredible experience for all of them to see us again, but it had helped them to heal.

"Bella?" Esme whispered in my ear as I hugged her goodbye.

"There is no hope," I said simply. Esme gripped me harder and shook in sobs for her lost daughter before releasing me.

"Good luck, all of you," my mother said bravely.

"Jasper," Rosalie spoke up. "I'm so sorry about what happened to Alice."

"It wasn't your fault," Jasper replied.

"It was. It was my fault about what happened to Edward and Bella too," she said sadly.

"It was not your fault, Rosalie," Esme told her, moving to Rosalie's side to comfort her. "You did the very best you could with the information you had. No one blames you for anything that happened."

"Yeah Rose, and little Nessie is counting on you to be her mom!" Emmett added.

"I really, really _hate_ that name," Rosalie seethed. "Renesmee is not the Loch Ness Monster."

Emmett chuckled at that. "Goodbye Jasper. Edward, Alice, it was good to see you again. Good luck, all of you."

This time, when I left the home, I did not go alone to the clearing. I was accompanied by Alice and Jasper. When we reached the area where I customarily shifted, I informed Jasper that I had always stood on the eastern end of the field, and I directed him to stand at the western end. That way, if we should ever encounter each other by chance, we would not be materializing into the same space at the same time. The odds were extremely unlikely, but it wasn't a chance worth taking. Jasper agreed with my assessment, then reached out to stroke Alice's cheek with his right hand.

"Goodbye Alice," he said softly, leaning down to rest his forehead on hers.

"You'll find me again," she said sweetly. She didn't flinch away from his touch, but she also made no motion to encourage it. She had her own Jasper at home, after all.

Jasper nodded and pulled himself, with great effort, away from Alice to march to the other end of the field. Alice reached for my left hand, and with my right, I input the code to whisk the two of us into the next universe. Alice lifted her own left hand to wave goodbye to Jasper, whose journey was now his own.


	38. Pain

**Wow, we're finally out of Universe Nine! I always knew that was going to be a long one, but I had no idea it'd take up **_**nine**_** chapters all by itself! Fitting though. =)**

**Sorry to everyone who wanted a bloody wolf death. Full disclosure: When I said awhile back that I adore Jacob, that wasn't nearly a strong enough statement. I am, and have always been, Team Jacob. Hope I don't lose any readers over that one. I think I've still done a fairly decent job writing a Team Edward story, no? It just means I sneak Jacob in a lot more than most writers would… teehee.**

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Thirty Eight – Pain

I wasn't completely robbed of my other senses while changing universes, apparently. I had just never had occasion to find out for certain until now. Each other time I'd shifted, I had involuntarily clamped my eyes shut due to the pain, and there hadn't been any significant noises around me. This time though, I could hear Alice beside me, whimpering in pain. It took a great deal of concentration to make sure my hand remained clasped around hers throughout the time it took to change worlds. We would need to find a better way of ensuring that we didn't break contact during shifting. I didn't know precisely where Alice would end up if I let go mid-shift, and that was not a subject whose answer I particularly wanted to learn.

I hated that I was dragging Alice along on this journey. This should have been the _last_ time she felt this terrible agony, and I should have been dropping her off at home to our family. Instead, I was greedily bringing her along to assist me in my objective. The fact that this had been her idea changed nothing. I should have taken her home to her family, to her Jasper, and continued alone. I couldn't believe I was voluntarily subjecting her to this.

But if it meant I could find Bella before it was too late…

I gritted my teeth, partially against the sensation I was enduring, but also against the nagging feeling in my mind that what I was doing was selfish and wrong. Alice had wanted to help, hadn't she? She had wanted to ease her own suffering, both at the guilt of feeling responsible for Bella's death, and at the fact that she missed her beloved sister terribly. She genuinely wanted to help me find my own happy ending. I shook my head slightly, feeling as if I were preying upon Alice's guilt and mourning for her lost friend. This was wrong, plain and simple. This was not Alice's journey, nor was she in any way responsible for what had happened to Bella because I had made the decision to leave her unprotected. It had been arrogant of me to presume that I alone presented a danger to my beloved, and tragically foolish to take the easy way out.

Easy. As if leaving her had ever been anything close to easy. Nonetheless, being with her had felt like an insurmountable task. No matter how near-perfect my control, I could never truly be trusted to return her home alive, in one piece, and _human._ At the time, it had felt like the most unforgiveable sin that a part of me had wanted to change her. Robbing her of her soul was not a reversible act, but one that would forever hang over my head as the ultimate act of self-indulgence. All the same, it was what she had wanted. Bella had desired nothing more or less than to be my mate, my _true_ mate. She had known, somehow, that this was the only way we could truly be together, and being with me had been more important to her than any little obstacle like her humanity.

All this time, I had egotistically believed myself to be more knowledgeable than Bella, owning to my years of experience, the majority of which had been spent with perfect recall and twenty-four daily hours of wakefulness. Yet Bella had known something that I was only now beginning to realize. Bella had understood the power of love. She had known that a love like we'd shared had been worth making any sacrifice, overcoming any obstacle. Humans spent their entire lives searching for what I'd so callously tossed aside for no better reason than because it had been inconvenient to me. Bella had been willing to do whatever it took to make it work between us, and I had taken her sacrifice and stomped on it with both feet, casting not even a glance over my shoulder as I went.

I was a monster, all right. Not even the one I'd believed myself to be. I was much worse. And now my sister was suffering, too, because of what I had done. If only I'd seen what Bella had seen, taken the time to listen to what she had so intuitively known. But I had believed so stubbornly in my own omnipotence, as if I alone had all of the answers. In reality, I hadn't even understood the question.

The pain faded, and the clearing re-emerged around us. It was certainly a different sensation to appear with Alice by my side. Although I had reveled in the solitude over the past few years, I certainly found it comforting to have her there with me. Despite the fact that I still believed what I was doing to be dreadfully wrong, I couldn't deny that Alice's presence was welcome.

I wasn't precisely certain how this was to work. Normally, I would simply set off for my family's home in this timeline, but in this case, things were different. I hesitated, waiting for Alice to collect her thoughts. Unlike me, she was not quite accustomed to the sensation of changing universes. Even I had a little difficulty this last time, not having experienced the sensation of shifting in three months.

Alice's eyes were still shut. She focused her attention on Bella's future. "Oh!" she gasped, and I watched along with her from inside my sister's mind.

Bella and Edward were attending college together at Dartmouth. I could see that they sported matching rings on their left hands. Bella was still human. Alice flashed forward in her visions slightly, trying to get a lock on a conversation between the two of them.

They were sitting together on a couch, Bella curled up at Edward's side. "Edward, I think I'm ready now," she told him.

Edward cringed. "I knew this day would come," he murmured.

"I still want to wait until after I graduate," she told him. "We only just started out junior year. I want to be able to finish my degree before I start wanting to break into the dorms and eat everyone inside."

Edward relaxed noticeably at this as he leaned down to kiss the top of Bella's head. "I'm still surprised you waited this long. Of course I'm grateful."

"Well, I really _did_ want to be changed right away," she admitted sheepishly. "But during our honeymoon, I don't know, I just started thinking, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be human for just a little longer. So many things I still wanted to see and do and experience. Now that I've taken some more time to think things over, and we've had so much time over the summers to travel, I think college is the last of those things that I'm not sure about doing as a vampire."

Edward nodded complacently. "As soon as you graduate then, we'll get you back to Carlisle. I'll do it, since it's what you want, but I'd rather have him there to oversee the process and make certain everything is right."

Bella sighed contentedly. "Two more years to say goodbye to everyone."

"We can put it off as long as you'd like, you know," Edward told her worriedly.

"I know," she answered. "At this point though, I feel like I'm dragging it out. And poor Jacob…"

"Don't make your decision based on what he thinks." Edward's answer was firm.

Bella sat upright. "You know how I feel about Jake," she told him.

Edward's low grumble was barely audible.

Bella continued. "And I know how he feels about me too, and it just seems like I'm dangling it in front of his face now. He knows that my days are numbered and have been for a long time, and until it happens, he's going to keep clinging to this hope that maybe I'll change my mind and choose him instead."

Edward sighed. "And is there a chance of that?"

"Of course not!" Bella said quickly. "But, because I do love him, I guess I want to just ease his suffering. Once he sees me as 'dead,' he can move on."

"So you want to be changed because it benefits Jacob Black?"

"Edward, no, it's…" Bella paused, biting her lower lip. "You know I want to be with you, always. And I belong in your world, I'm sure of that. It's just that, now I kind of wonder if Jacob isn't the reason I've been dragging it out for so long. Not wanting to disappoint him. I need to do what's right for _me_ now, and I think it's what's right for him too."

"Do I factor anywhere in your decision?" Edward's expression was wounded as he gazed into Bella's eyes.

Bella returned to her former position, curled up at Edward's side. She took hold of his arm and draped it over her. "Of course," she murmured, and a few moments later, she was asleep.

Alice opened her eyes and met my mine, blinking. "They got married," she said delightedly. "Bella's still human though. That's a little different from what I would have expected."

"From what Bella told me in the first place I visited, there _was_ a moment during their honeymoon when she considered remaining human for awhile longer. However, shortly after that, she realized that she was pregnant, and everything changed. It would appear that something altered that course here."

"Maybe Carlisle somehow found out that it was possible for vampires and humans to conceive," Alice suggested.

I nodded. "Once he figured that out, Alice would have seen a different future for Bella, and her risk of illness would have been discovered. As you've said before, you can see a person's future while they're on their current path. Bella's path would have changed once Carlisle realized the dangers that were present, and Alice would have seen something different. Until then, she would have only seen the path where Bella became a vampire, and she would have had no reason to detect the other risks to Bella's life."

My sister lightly touched the fingertips of her right hand to her temple and nodded her agreement.

"Are you all right?" The action had been small, but I had not missed it. I checked through Alice's thoughts and I could see that they were marred by a slight pain.

"I'm fine," she lied. "Just that seeing Edward's future while you were here was a little draining. You were right about headaches. It's nothing I can't handle though," she insisted, drawing herself up. She snaked her arm around me. _I don't want to take any chances on losing contact,_ she said silently. "Shall we?" she added aloud.

"Alice," I began.

"Edward, I told you, I _want_ to do this," Alice pouted.

Although I was still largely undecided about the ethics of bringing Alice along for this journey, this hadn't been precisely what I'd meant to press her about at this moment. I shook my head slowly. "No, there's something else," I told her. "When I was talking to Jasper about the additional feature of this device—"

As soon as I mentioned this, Alice began mentally reciting the digits of pi, confirming my suspicions.

"There's something you're not telling me," I accused.

"I'll tell you later," Alice pursed her lips.

"Why won't you tell me now?"

Alice was unable to stop herself before a memory of the savage Bella I'd left behind in the last universe popped into her mind. I was puzzled at what this had to do with anything.

"We left that universe behind," I reminded my sister. Had the process of shifting had a greater effect on her mind than I'd guessed? Perhaps I needed to get her home after all.

"I know," Alice replied, looking slightly guilty. "Let's just go. I promise I'll tell you after we find Bella."

I was extraordinarily puzzled, but now I had no doubt that I would be continuing to bring Alice with me. I wanted to know what secret she was keeping from me, and I was certain she wouldn't feel inclined to tell me if I brought her home now. It was maddening, but I agreed. I placed my arm around my sister and pressed the sequence to move into the next universe.

Never before had I undergone the shift so quickly after coming out of it, and the sensation seemed to be amplified slightly. Perhaps it wasn't a purely mental feeling, but partially physical as well, and my body needed time to heal after shifting. I was instantly filled with concern for Alice. She, too, had shifted immediately, and it hadn't been nearly so long since her last shift before we'd started off again. Had it been an entire day that she'd spent in that universe before we set off again? I mentally went over everything that had happened. She'd run from Forks to the forest. She'd found me, and we'd spent hours outside of Bella's cave before Alice had convinced me to leave. After that, we'd spent a great deal of time at the creek as I mourned my actions. Then we'd driven back to Forks, taken a walk with Jasper… Yes, I decided, she'd had sufficient time to heal up before undergoing her second shift. She was in no worse shape than I. So long as I could withstand the suffering, she could probably endure as well.

In spite of myself, I resolved to allow Alice to come along if this was what she truly desired. I had made enough mistakes trying to make choices on behalf of the women in my life. She had every right to make this decision for herself. I would do my best to honor her choice, just as I'd failed to do for Bella. I managed to tighten my grip slightly on my sister, wanting to shield her from the suffering we were both feeling. Not just the physical pain, but also the pain of Bella's loss.

Before long, we had finished shifting again. Alice whimpered slightly as she searched her visions for Bella. She didn't have much luck at first, until she expanded her search to include the possibility of a vampire Bella.

Edward and Bella were alone again in this vision, which was confusing to me. Bella was one of our kind. It made no sense that the two of them wouldn't be living with the rest of my family. I waited for Alice to find an appropriate spot, which took a bit longer since she was still reeling from the shift as well as her headache. Her head pain, I noted, seemed to be worse than before, and my concern for her well-being was growing.

"I want to go _home_, Edward," Bella told my counterpart, her bright golden eyes glowing with fierce determination.

Edward growled in response, and in mid-growl, the sound transformed into a sigh. "Bella, how many times must we go over this?"

"As many times as it takes until we can go home!" she cried.

"It's simply not possible," Edward told her firmly. "To begin with, your father believes that all three of us died in a car accident. How would you like to explain your sudden reappearance, to say nothing of the change in your features?"

Three? The number was appearing in my sister's thoughts as well. She hadn't missed it either. She turned her head slightly toward me, keeping her eyes shut. _Charlie couldn't have known about Renesmee, could he?_ She directed this thought at me, and I murmured my response that he had, in fact, known about her in Universe Two. I promised to tell her everything shortly, silently grateful for the opportunity to delay the next shift long enough to give Alice's body an opportunity to heal. Satisfied, Alice focused back on her vision.

I, on the other hand, couldn't stop myself from pondering the mystery. In order for Charlie to know about Bella's daughter, he would also have to know about Bella's transformation. Edward had just made clear that Charlie was clueless about this aspect of Bella's existence. I doubted very much that this Bella and Edward had managed to conceive a child, given that I saw no evidence of a little girl in the background of Alice's vision, and I had a terrible feeling that this meant the third person they'd referenced was a full vampire.

"We'd figure something out," Bella said lamely in my sister's mind. "Charlie could handle it." Upon seeing Edward's scathing glare, Bella amended her statement. "Of course we couldn't tell him the _whole_ truth, but we'd come up with something else to tell him."

Edward shook his head. "Charlie is only one part of the problem. Could you really face _her_ again? You know that seeing us would only bring back all of those memories."

Bella's forehead puckered in dismay. She looked down, ashamed. "I owe her at least that much. It's my fault that he—"

"Your fault? Bella, be realistic. How could even _you_ blame yourself for a _vampire_ attacking you?" Edward spoke the word "vampire" with clear disdain. This fact was clearly not missed by Bella.

"In case you hadn't noticed, Edward, I'm a vampire too now. Because of him. Because of what happened, we're going to be together forever. You really need to get over that whole 'attacking me' thing and stop blaming him, especially after what he did."

"His sacrifice was nothing short of heroic," Edward agreed. "It doesn't change the fact that it should never have been necessary."

"It _wasn't_ necessary," Bella insisted. Edward rolled his eyes, making it clear that this conversation had taken place before, but Bella ignored his rude expression and went on. "There were only three of them! There were eight of us, and one of us was a newborn! We would have won."

"Perhaps, but some of us would have gotten hurt. Some of us might still have died."

"No," Bella insisted. "I could have taken all three of them by myself. With the seven of you backing me up, it would have been an easy win."

"I would not have wanted the three of them attacking you. In any event, we had no way of knowing, at that point, how controlled you would be. You'd completed the transformation only minutes before. We assumed that you would be ravenous for blood."

"I wasn't," Bella muttered. "We should've—"

"There wasn't time to consider any other alternatives," Edward interrupted her. "He did what he had to do."

I was growing more and more puzzled by this conversation. I hoped that one of them would stop using so many pronouns and clarify the story soon.

"That's the part I never understood," Bella said quietly. "How did the wolves _know_ what happened?"

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, causing my sister beside me to smile despite herself. "Your father had been worried about you when you didn't return the night of your birthday. The last place anyone saw you was my family's home. Your father believed Carlisle's cover story about us taking an impromptu trip for your birthday and not having been heard from yet. He had planned to follow this up with news of our 'accident' a few days later, but when your father told his friend Harry the facts, it didn't take long for the pack to speculate and arrive at the truth. We didn't even know they were back, so we were ill-prepared."

"How do you know—oh, you read their mind, of course," Bella muttered. "Why are you only just now telling me this?"

"I didn't want you to blame your father for what happened."

"Of course I don't blame Charlie," Bella moaned. "He was so worried about me, and Harry Clearwater was one of his closest friends. Of course he'd tell Harry what happened. He must have been furious with you for running off with me like that." She smiled slightly.

So it was the wolves who had arrived, responding to Bella's disappearance and the involvement of the Cullens. They had assumed, and rightly, that her disappearance had been related to the vampire family. My stomach twisted in knots as I realized the significance of her disappearance on her birthday. I knew precisely who had attacked Bella on her birthday, during a celebration at the Cullen house.

"Their timing was unfortunate," Edward murmured. "If they'd only shown up a day later, we would have known that you were so controlled, and we might have attempted to face them down. As it was, he felt that he had no other choice but to turn himself in."

"Couldn't…" Bella hesitated, seemingly unwilling to speak the name. "Couldn't _Alice_ have seen that I'd be fine?"

Edward shook his head. "Apparently, the wolves interfere with her visions. She didn't see them arriving, and she couldn't see any hint of what would happen once they appeared. Unfortunately, we all assumed that her lack of visions meant that we were not going to fare well in a fight. He turned himself in to save her, and the rest of us."

Bella moaned. "That part, I remember. I still can't believe he's gone."

"I know," Edward said quietly. "I was surprised that the wolves accepted his surrender and killed only Jasper in penance for his actions."

Alice gasped, and the vision abruptly halted. "Alice, don't!" I tried to stop her from confirming what she'd just seen, but I was too late.

A vision of Alice's counterpart in this universe filled her mind. Alice's face was hollow, her eyes darkened and glossed over. She seemed to manage more successfully than either I or Jasper had done without our mates, moving around and conducting the most basic of tasks. She continued to shop for the family, but she had no enthusiasm for the task. She didn't chatter endlessly with Rosalie any longer, and she often seemed to just stop in the middle of what she was doing and clutch at her sides, gasping for air. She was forcing herself to go on, but she was empty.

My own Alice cried out in pain, and I assumed that it was the emotional pain of seeing herself in such a terrible state. A half second later, I realized that the pain was physical. Alice's headache had grown exponentially worse.

"Alice?" I called out her name in alarm, holding her up as her knees buckled and she nearly fell to the ground. The vision stopped, and Alice cradled her head in both hands.

"I think…" she began. "The way I get headaches from seeing two Edwards… I think it must be worse when I'm the one there's two of." She gasped in agony, clutching at me with both hands in an effort to remain upright. "I'm okay," she lied. "We should go."

"Let me fill you in on the other universes I've visited first," I offered, hoping to delay the next shift until she'd had time to recover slightly. Alice looked grateful for the distraction. I told her all of the details of Universes Two through Eight. She rarely interrupted me, smiling weakly at my slightly exaggerated tales of each Alice's predictable remarks about my clothing and hair and her ever-present questioning of Bella's whereabouts. I dragged out the story with more detail than she really needed, wanting to remain here as long as possible to give her time to heal. We sat in the clearing for nearly a full day as I told her tale after tale, monitoring her thoughts to see whether her pain was lessening.

Unfortunately, it didn't seem to be. It was strange. The effects of shifting were not long-lasting for me. I experienced no lingering effects of pain once the shift was completed, although I now had evidence to support that my body still needed time to recover. Alice, on the other hand, was still experiencing a great deal of physical torment, virtually impossible for her to ignore. Most of the pain was focused in her head, which could obviously be attributed to the problems she encountered with her visions in any place with two Edwards. I now knew that the trouble was even worse in the presence of two Alices, since she herself was one of the two. Perhaps the onslaught of head pain was preventing her body from recovering properly from the shifting. In any event, my alarm was growing as Alice tried to ignore the agony for my benefit.

After my sister had been fully debriefed, I was desperate to think of a way to further delay the shift. "Alice, do you by chance have some type of writing instrument in that purse of yours?"

"Of course," she replied, clutching at her head while rooting through her purse with her free hand. She pulled out a pen which had likely cost hundreds of dollars and handed it to me. I reached into my pocket for the note about my future and ripped off a small portion without writing.

"What's that?" she asked me.

"Just something one of the other Alices gave me. A reminder I like to keep with me now," I told her. I scrawled a note onto the blank portion of the paper. "Do you think you'll be able to stand for just a moment?" Alice nodded, and I raced quickly to the west side of the clearing, leaving the note on the ground with a rock placed on top of it.

_J—_

_ Welcome home._

_ E_

It was precisely my luck that I should find the universe where Traveling Jasper would fit in long before I'd find the correct one for myself. I hoped that one day, he'd find his way here. His presence would heal this universe. This Alice suffered as he did, and the two of them would be eternally blissful together, never taking their love for granted. Bella and Edward would be free to return to the rest of the Cullens, and though they would all need to leave Forks before the wolves found out about Jasper's reappearance, the family of eight would go on happily ever after.

In a flash, I was back at Alice's side, which was a good thing, since her legs were threatening to give way once again. _Don't even think about taking me home,_ she threatened, and I didn't voice the question on the tip of my tongue.

"Are you ready?" I said instead, despising myself for going through with this.

"Ready," Alice said, taking her pen back from me and placing it into her purse again. She wrapped both of her arms around my waist, clutching at me to stay upright as much as to maintain contact.

Fearing for her well-being and hoping to think of a way to convince her to let me take her home soon, I took a deep breath and pressed on the device once more. This was too dangerous for Alice. I had to think of something before it was too late.


	39. Desperation

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Thirty Nine – Desperation

We arrived in the next universe, and Alice was clinging to me for support even moreso than she'd been doing. Between the wrenching agony brought on by shifting worlds, immediately followed by the terrible headaches she'd receive in the next universe, my sister wasn't holding up very well at all. Supposedly, our kind was virtually indestructible. Suddenly, looking at my tiny sister struggling to remain upright, I was finding this less and less believable.

Perhaps if she waited before she started scanning her visions. Frantically, I tried to think of something else, anything else to talk about. Talking to her about the other worlds I'd visited hadn't helped at all, but I'd done that _after_ she scanned her visions, worsening her headaches. Perhaps if I cut her off before she began, her body would heal more quickly.

"Alice, the device…" The first thing I could think of was how she'd blocked her thoughts from me twice when speaking about the enhancements made to the worldshifter.

My plan backfired when she summoned as much energy as she could muster to keep me from reading her thoughts. "I told you I'd talk to you about that _after_ we found Bella," she hissed. It was incredible that my sister was able to be so enraged while she should have been thoroughly distracted by her pain.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "Maybe you should wait before you start checking your visions. Your headaches are getting worse," I observed. _Way to state the obvious, Cullen,_ I chastised myself. Her headaches weren't simply getting worse. They were becoming rapidly unmanageable. If I'd encountered a human in this much pain, they would either be unconscious, or well on their way to losing consciousness.

"No," she wailed. "I'm okay." As if to try to prove her point to me, Alice pulled herself into a standing position and removed her arms from around my waist. She shut her eyes and began to sway from side to side while she searched her visions for Bella. Each time I would attempt to reach out to steady her, she swatted my hand away. Perhaps I was overreacting. Perhaps she wasn't in such bad shape after all.

She searched and searched for Bella, both vampire and human forms, and she kept coming up blank. Alice pursed her lips and pressed her palms against her forehead, her fingers splayed out and pointing upward. Her pain was increasing, and she started to topple.

"Alice!" I cried out. Without thinking, I shot my arm out around her back, just under her arms. She didn't slap me away this time, but it wasn't because she didn't want to. It was because she couldn't.

"I'm okay," she whimpered, still trying desperately to locate Bella.

"Alice, stop," I demanded. "We'll find some other way."

"No! I think I… Yes, I found her!" Alice's voice was weak, with none of its usual lilting, musical quality. She sounded suddenly very aged as she played her vision for me, and there was nothing I could do to stop her.

Bella pulled up to Charlie's driveway in her rusting pickup truck. Charlie came outside to help her out of the vehicle.

"Aw, come on Dad, I'm not an invalid," Bella protested.

"I can't believe that husband of yours let you come out here by yourself in your condition," Charlie grumbled.

"My condition?" Bella teased her father as she conceded to grasping his hand and letting him guide her out of the car. She emerged, appearing to be about 7 months pregnant, but looking quite healthy, her cheeks rosy and her face glowing. "Dad, women have been handling this 'condition' just fine for as long as people have existed."

"Well if you hadn't noticed, _most_ of those women weren't my daughter," Charlie muttered. "Let's get you inside, Bells."

On the surface, this seemed very curious indeed. However, I came to the conclusion, between Bella's apparently normally-progressing pregnancy and the fact that Alice hadn't been able to see her, that Bella must be wed to Jacob Black in this universe. I grumbled silently to myself about this turn of events, but as I'd vowed not to interfere in Bella's happiness, I continued to watch, helpless to do anything other than hold Alice up and see what she could see.

Charlie guided Bella to the couch and helped her sink into it, handing her the remote to the television. "You want anything to eat or drink? Sue's been keeping the refrigerator pretty well-stocked, and she's been showing me a few things in the kitchen. I can probably whip something up for you."

"I ate about an hour ago, but I could use a glass of water," Bella acknowledged gratefully. Charlie vanished into the kitchen, but continued talking to Bella, raising his voice so as to be heard.

"I'll go get your things out of the truck in just a minute. You know Bells, not that I'm unhappy to have you stay here for a few days, but you didn't quite explain what's going on. Did you and Edward get into a fight or something?"

Edward? But that wasn't possible. Bella was clearly pregnant, and not with a vampire child. Now that I thought about it, Bella Two had told me that her own Alice had had difficulty seeing Renesmee, and by extension, had had trouble seeing Bella while she was pregnant. The fact that Alice could see Bella at all while she was so obviously carrying a child was further proof that the baby was not Edward's. My stomach churned as I remembered another part of the story Bella had told me, but I stood silently, waiting for the vision to play out.

"No Dad, it's nothing like that," Bella said quickly, launching into what was obviously a very carefully rehearsed explanation. "He's just getting the baby's room ready. You know how his whole family is with overdoing renovations. They're adding a whole wing onto the house, and the noise and dust was too much for me. I had to get out of there for a couple of days."

The story sounded believable enough, except that the family would have to actually add another wing onto the house to cover their tracks in case Charlie ever came to visit. This wouldn't present much of a challenge though, so the cover story sounded good enough. I wondered what the real reason was that Bella was staying with Charlie, and I desperately wished for an explanation about the human child she was carrying. Although I already had a solid idea of the situation, I wanted to be proven wrong.

Charlie relaxed at his daughter's explanation, then broke into a grin, shaking his head as he spoke. "Yeah, I guess that's what money does to people though. When you can have anything you want, you start to think big. So you're due in a couple of months," he continued, changing the subject slightly, "that's gonna be one pale kid, having you and Edward for parents," he teased. Charlie had returned to the living room with a glass of water in his hand.

Bella shifted uncomfortably on the couch, taking the glass from Charlie. "Uh, Dad, that's something else I need to talk to you about. Something I don't exactly want to be common knowledge."

Charlie's eyes narrowed. Generally, when someone wanted to have a conversation that was "not to be common knowledge" and it was with regard to their pregnancy, this discussion could not be pleasant. He folded his arms across his chest and looked at his daughter passively, seeming to will himself not to be accusing in his demeanor.

Bella took a deep breath and launched into her tale of half-truths. "Edward is a carrier of a rare condition. He's fine, but if we tried to have a baby together, there's no telling how the baby would turn out, and it would probably kill me. So we had to find a surrogate."

Once again, Charlie relaxed at his daughter's explanation. "What condition? How did you find out about this?"

Bella shook her head, but I could see the corner of her mouth turn up slightly for a fraction of a second. She was pleased that her father had willingly accepted her story. "I'm sorry Dad, but his condition is private. Unfortunately, we found out the hard way. Right after our honeymoon, Carlisle recommended that we terminate."

Charlie's eyes grew wide. "Bella, you had an abortion? Oh, well of course you had to if it would have hurt you and the baby, but Bells… Why didn't you tell me? You shouldn't have had to go through something like that alone." He sat gingerly at Bella's feet, patting her leg consolingly.

"I wasn't alone. Edward was there, and the rest of the Cullens too."

"Well of course I understand why you don't want this getting out. As far as the rest of the town needs to know, it's Edward's biological child. But, out of curiosity, who did you find as a surrogate?"

Bella stared into her glass, seeming to be trying to melt the ice with her eyes. "Jacob," she whispered.

This was precisely what I'd feared. Edward had implored Jacob to make an offer to Bella to have _his_ child as a last-ditch effort to convince Bella to terminate the dangerous pregnancy. She had been dead-set against this idea, but in this universe, for some incomprehensible reason, she must have agreed.

Charlie sank backward into the couch, his eyes shut. He started uncomfortably scratching at his temple with the hand that wasn't resting on his daughter's leg. "Uhh, Bells, I know this is none of my business, but how did, uhh…"

"Daaaaaad," Bella whined. "Edward's family has lots of money, you don't think we could afford to handle this _medically_?"

Charlie may not have been able to see the deception in Bella's eyes, but it was painted all too clearly for me.

Charlie grunted. "Well in that case, it seems like you could've searched databases for somebody that looked a little more like Edward. If you wanted it to stay a secret, why choose somebody as a surrogate that would produce a—well a baby that was so obviously _not_ Edward's?"

"I couldn't stand to have some stranger's baby," Bella began to nervously run her finger in circles along the ring of the glass.

Charlie blew air between his lips. "Well, if it makes you, Edward, and Jacob happy, it's none of my business to say otherwise. You're going to have to tell your mother though. She's going to notice."

Bella didn't say a word or react in any way. She was clearly not looking forward to having this conversation with Renee, and I understood precisely why. Renee was extremely perceptive, much moreso than Charlie. She was not likely to buy the story, even partially true as it was, as readily as Charlie had.

_I wonder why Bella was _really_ staying with Charlie_, Alice thought, and it seemed to take a great deal of effort for her to think so coherently. Before I even realized what she was doing, she started to focus her attentions elsewhere.

"Alice, stop! That's enough! We've learned what we needed to, let's just take a break," I begged her.

It was too late. She'd easily managed to get a lock onto Edward, and she winced in pain from sorting through two separate Edwards and their separate futures.

"Is everything ready?" Edward was nervously following Esme around the house as she straightened the most miniscule of trinkets. I noticed a few differences in the decorations of the house. It appeared as if someone with a taste for the gauche had redecorated in shades of deep red and gold. Most of the furniture had been replaced with pieces that were far more flashy than what my family generally preferred to have.

"It's as ready as it's going to be. Don't worry, dear, we have a perfectly good explanation to give him," Esme told him soothingly. "And Alice told us that it will work, and that he'll give you a few more years once you explain that Bella wanted to start a family. Of course, you won't even have to _explain_ anything, he'll see it all when he reads you."

Edward still looked extremely nervous. He was gripping his head with both hands, tugging at his hair.

Esme took him firmly, but gently by the arm. "He wants her to be changed, yes, because she knows about our kind. It's clear from what you and Alice told me that he has no desire to hurt her though."

Jasper came in the front door holding an impossibly large, tacky display of flowers. Alice floated in behind him holding a display of matching size and tastelessness. "Where do you want these?" Jasper asked helplessly.

At the sight of her counterpart, my sister cried out and went limp against my arm. I pulled her against my side, doing my best to keep her from collapsing in a heap.

"Wherever Bella's scent is strongest," Esme murmured. "You'll need to scatter them around a bit. I think I still have some extra vases, unless Rosalie donated them to charity last month. I'll go check." Esme disappeared upstairs.

"Relax, Edward," Alice said confidently, setting the flowers down on the coffee table and beginning to arrange them into smaller bundles. "Aro's only bringing Felix and Demetri with him, not the entire guard. If he _really_ intended to take us on, he'd have brought enough to overpower us. This is just a visit to remind us that they're watching. We have a perfectly reasonable explanation."

"That's not exactly what I'm worried about. When he finds out that the father is a wolf…"

"He'll get the whole story though, and it's none of his business who Bella picked or why."

Edward sighed and started trying to help Alice arrange the flowers. He didn't have an eye for this sort of thing at all, and Alice ended up snatching the flowers back away from him. "Sorry," he muttered.

"If you want something useful to do, why don't you call and confirm the appointment with the contractors for tomorrow? We _do_ need to expand the house, since that's the excuse Bella gave Charlie."

"Well she couldn't exactly tell him that she had to hide from three Italian vampires," Jasper spoke up, having set his flowers on the kitchen counter and stepped away from them. At least he knew that he didn't have a flair for flower arranging.

Edward was wringing his hands. "And you're certain that Aro won't be upset that she isn't here?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Considering we're being extra protective because of her condition, and he'll _know_ that as soon as he reads you, yes, I'm certain it will be fine. Do you need me to show you again?"

My sister's vision ended abruptly there. For a moment, I thought perhaps one of the wolves had shown up, which would have been an extremely inopportune moment, given that the Volturi were on their way to check on Bella's humanity. However, I realized that the reason for the vision's abrupt end was actually because Alice was no longer able to sustain her concentration.

"I'm… fine…" she gasped, clutching at my shoulder. "I just can't… when Alice is… it's too…"

"Alice, I'm taking you home," I growled.

"_No_!" she shouted with such force that I was momentarily certain that she couldn't possibly be in nearly such ill health as I'd believed. She paused long enough to gather her strength and spoke again. "Not until we find Bella." She spoke with conviction, and her thoughts had resumed enough normalcy that I was certain she must have recovered at least partially. I couldn't believe that my sister was exaggerating her condition, but what other explanation was there?

Alice wrapped her arms around my waist once again and commanded me to continue. In the back of my mind, I knew without a doubt that it was wrong, but I obeyed, depressing the buttons required to shift us to the next world.

I couldn't have been more wrong to allow Alice to talk me into continuing. I could hear her screams of agony resonating throughout my body as we shifted, and there was nothing I could do about it. I wasn't sure whether it was her mind or her body that was breaking, but she would not make it through this if I didn't get her home immediately. Carlisle needed to look her over. I considered taking her to the Carlisle in whatever universe we ended up in, but I worried that, instead of my own Alice being repaired, we would spread her torment to the new universe's indigenous Alice. This was not an acceptable option. Taking her home was the only choice.

As soon as we rematerialized, I started to enter the complex sequence required to take us home. "Wait," Alice begged weakly. "We're already here. We might as well check."

I hesitated. I should take her home. But what if this was it? Would it really do any harm to check this one, last place before I took my sister to receive the care she needed?

Before I had time to make a decision, Alice was already focusing. Once again, she couldn't find Bella. She was in so much pain by now that it was a wonder she could concentrate at all though. For all I knew, Bella might be standing right behind me and Alice would still be unable to see her. Insanely, I turned to look behind us as soon as that thought occurred to me, and of course the space was empty.

There was no amount of gathering her energy and strength which would permit my sister to stand upright by now. She may as well have been a limp fish that I was foolishly trying to prop vertically on its fin. Alice could not offer me any assistance in holding her up by this point, unable to even clutch at my arms or my shoulders. Every muscle in her body had shifted to a relaxed position. Her face was slack, her lips slightly parted, and it took an immense amount of effort for her to keep focusing on Bella.

Frustrated at not being able to locate Bella, she shifted her focus instead to Edward. "Alice, no!" I knew that this would increase her headaches, if such a thing were even possible by now.

Alice would not be deterred. I watched on helplessly as she tried to search for my counterpart. At last, I decided to try another tactic. As long as I was passively permitting her to believe that some part of me _wanted_ her to do this, she would continue.

"Alice," I told her firmly, "I am not going to watch your thoughts anymore. Do you understand? I _refuse_ to be a part of this any longer." She knew that it was difficult for me to tune out the thoughts of others, but she also knew that I could, with some effort and varying degrees of success, tune out those I spent a great deal of time with, such as my family.

Alice's breathing came more slowly now, and she seemed to be concentrating even harder. I watched in horror as she began to flex the muscles in her face, trying to force her lips to form words. If I refused to watch her visions in her mind, she was going to dictate them to me, using up even more of her strength.

"I think… Bella… and Edward… they're gone… I see… I see… Carlisle… Esme… Rosalie… Emmett… Jasper… and… and Alice…" At this last declaration, my sister let out a bloodcurdling wail, sending all the forest creatures in a half-mile radius scattering away.

"Alice, please stop," I begged her. "Save your strength. We need to go home."

She ignored me. "They're… so sad… I think… oh… something… newborn army?" Alice's voice went up slightly, although I'd told her all about the newborn army that Victoria had created, she was still uncertain as to whether these words made sense.

By now, I was no longer able to hold Alice upright. I sank to the ground, cradling her fragile, broken body in my arms. Under normal circumstances, Alice would be been irritated with anyone who treated a perfectly good dress in the way that she was, getting dirt caked into it as well as her shoes. I knew that she wasn't sparing a single thought for her clothing by now.

"The newborn army killed both Bella and Edward," I guessed. I was careful not to phrase my remarks as a question, lest Alice become encouraged to search further.

Her head moved infinitesimally up, then down, nodding in acknowledgment. "Edward… decided… fight… left Bella… with… Jacob…"

"Victoria had planned on Bella being separated from the fight," I explained to her, recalling what Bella had told me in Universe Two. "Without Edward being there to protect her, she would have been an easy target for Victoria. Once Edward realized that Victoria wasn't in the fight, he would have run off frantically trying to reach Bella before she did. He must have gotten himself killed on the way by not paying attention. "

"Oh," was all Alice could manage to say.

"Alice, I'm going to take you home now."

But while I was doing my best to tune out her thoughts, Alice had been formulating a plan. I thought she was trying to grip at my shirt, but instead, she used every last portion of her remaining strength to key in the sequence to take us to the next universe. I was furious and appalled, but my sister was satisfied. Once we were on our way again, she sank backward into my cradling arms and allowed her lips to curl up into the most miniscule of smiles.

"Alice!" I scolded her through the sensation of rending flesh, though I couldn't be certain that she'd heard me over her own shrieks of pain.

She had, once again, fooled me away from taking her home, but at what cost?


	40. Dilemma

**As always, thanks for the reviews!**

**Since a few people have asked me in the past about how much longer I'm planning for the story to be, I'll give everybody fair warning that we're coming pretty close to the end now. I think we're on approximately the last 5-6 chapters now. **

**I'm planning to take the month of November off from writing fanfiction to try and crank out an original story for NaNoWriMo, so it's sort of my goal to have Multiverse finished before Nov 1. I might return in December with a new story if any awesome ideas occur to me, but fair warning – I don't think I have it in me to write another Team Edward story right away. =)**

**You guys are the best and I really appreciate all the support!**

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Forty – Dilemma

We had completed shifting, I was sure of that. The clearing had come plainly into view, and my own sensations of pain were gradually subsiding. I didn't care for the fact that the pain didn't abruptly cease anymore, but this seemed to be caused by the rapid pace at which we changed universes now.

If I hadn't known from my own observations that the shift was completed, I would have surely believed otherwise listening to Alice's tortured screams. She was still wailing in agony, her entire body trembling as if she were willing it not to fall apart. I had already given up on trying to hold her upright, and now it seemed that I was no longer able to support her in any type of dignified position. I slid her gently to the ground, hoping that she would move to sit upright or double over in anguish. Instead, she did nothing.

As far as I'd ever known, vampires could only be killed by other supernatural creatures. The Quileute wolves, designed specifically to slaughter our kind, were capable of doing so with nothing but their own claws and teeth. According to the legends that had been handed down to Carlisle by the Volturi, the Children of the Moon were able to dispose of our kind in a similar fashion. Other vampires were capable of carrying out the task, but even we needed to use fire to ensure that the body could never be reassembled and healed.

In this moment, as I stared helplessly at the broken, frail form of my normally energetic sister, I found myself wondering whether it was easier to kill a vampire than had been previously believed.

My own physical pain was still nagging at the back of my mind, but I found it utterly unimportant. My emotions were in turmoil. I was furious with Alice for pressing the sequence to bring us here when she needed so desperately to go home. At the same time, I was terrified by the prospect of losing her. I loved all of my brothers and sisters, but I had always been a bit closer to Alice than to the others. It was our unique gifts which brought us to a sort of initial camaraderie, but over time, I had found her to be a uniquely kind soul. She rarely thought of herself ahead of others, and even when she did, she always wanted to share her joyous moments with those she loved. Being around Alice had always been exceptionally easy, and it wasn't just because of the empath who was typically joined to her at the hip.

Jasper. A stream of every curse word I'd ever heard in every language began to escape softly from my lips as I thought of the evidence I'd already witnessed. The devastation that Alice's demise would bring to my family was virtually unthinkable. I simply had to find a way to help her. Alice's death was not an option.

"Edward," Alice croaked in response to my verbal outburst, "for shame."

"Alice, we need to get you home _right now_," I grimaced.

"Wait!" My sister's lips scarcely moved as she forced the protest to escape, and I watched in horror as she shut her eyes and attempted to check for Bella's future.

"There isn't time for that!" I cried out, gripping her lifeless wrists and clutching her hands to my chest as I knelt over her. "We need to go _home_, Alice," I repeated.

Would it be better to bring her to Carlisle in this universe? I weighed the options. I wasn't certain that she would survive another shift, but if I inadvertently transferred her condition to another Alice, I would destroy the lives of another group of Cullens. I had already done enough damage. Taking her home was the only choice I had.

Alice's fingers twitched as she tried to break free of my grasp. "It won't work again," I growled, and she made a noise in response that I supposed passed as a sigh. There was so little force behind the sound. Her breathing was labored, when she even took a breath at all. Since she didn't need to breathe to survive, she wasn't doing very much of it.

In my fury, I was still blocking out her thoughts to the best of my capabilities without truly thinking about doing so. Still, an errant image from her head leaked through my defenses, and the monster within me was momentarily distracted from my sister slipping away.

Bella was lying motionless in her bed. Her cheeks were sunken in, her skin pale and sallow. A thin bead of sweat coated her forehead. A table had been hastily pulled up next to her bed containing a stack of books and an untouched bowl of soup. I could see that a medical professional had been tending to Bella in her home, given that she had various tubes running into her arms and nose. Her hair was extremely short, evidence of unsuccessful treatment she'd been given some time ago.

Bella was dying. Which meant that all of the human Bellas in every universe who hadn't been saved by Alice were also dying.

And Alice might be dying as well.

I was torn. The monster demanded that I run to Bella and save her before it was too late. But it was the monster who was responsible for this predicament. And I _was_ the monster. I could no longer deny that the monster and the man both resided within me, doing battle between what was right and my own selfish desires.

Alice's eyes were still closed, and she was searching her visions for something else. She shouldn't have been able to focus at all, and it appeared that she wasn't having luck finding what she was seeking. I pushed aside the monster's wishes. My own self-interest could not be served here. I wasn't meant to find happiness at the expense of my family. For too long, I had existed making my own suffering a priority, but I simply could not envision subjecting my own family to the life that I'd witnessed in Universe Nine. They had done so much for me, given me so much. It was my turn to give them something back.

If I could cry, a small pool would be forming beneath me as I pulled Alice's twitching body into a seated position. I rotated her gently so that her back was facing me, and I cradled her torso to mine. "It will be all right, Alice," I told her, doubting the truth of my own words. "Carlisle will know what to do."

I could see the corner of her eye fly open. "This is it!" she declared, sounding exactly like her normal self for less than a second. With that, her body slumped back against me, and she neither moved nor thought.

This is it? Had she just foreseen her own death? Frantically, I began to shake her, taking care not to snap her neck for fear that she may no longer be able to heal. "Alice!" I called out. "Alice, no. No, no, no, no, Alice, stay with me!"

But she wasn't staying with me. All of my medical training was useless. She didn't have a pulse to check, and lack of breathing didn't indicate a lack of life. Or existence, as the case may be. I couldn't think of a single way to confirm whether all hope was truly lost, so I did the only thing I could think of to do. The only course of action left to me.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I whispered as I depressed the unfamiliar sequence that would bring me home. "I failed you again." Alice's purse lay on the ground inches from her hand. I knew that I should retrieve it, but I was too hollow to expend the effort to pick it up. The only thing that mattered was getting my sister home.

For the first time, Alice made no sounds as we lapsed through to the next universe. I feared the worst, but I refused to believe that she was gone. Vampires simply couldn't be killed through pain and suffering. If such a thing were possible, Jane would be considered a killing weapon rather than simply a weapon of torture. There must be something Carlisle could do, some way that he could keep her intact.

Although I was uncertain that anyone was there to hear, I prayed that I was not too late.

As soon as the clearing was in view again, I sprang into action. Although every fiber of my existence begged me to mourn for Bella's loss, I fought the desire to lay down beside Alice and die along with her. There would be time for that later. Right now, I had to save Alice, and by extension, my family. In a single motion, I scooped my sister's body up into my arms. I could already see the effects of returning to her native universe taking their effect on her. Her limbs were beginning to move once more, and my mind raced, daring not to hope that she would recover.

In the absence of a second Alice and a second Edward, her mind was able to begin to heal itself without interference from ongoing headaches. Although Alice's visions were often a conscious effort, they also came to her unbidden at times, which meant that she would literally be in constant agony anytime she occupied a universe with another Alice. The fact that her body seemed to be acknowledging the absence of a counterpart seemed to indicate that her mind was still functioning. As I ran to the home of my true family, I didn't take my eyes away from my sister's face. I stared at her, reaching out with every piece of whatever soul I possessed in an effort to detect any thought that might be running through her mind.

_Go back_.

I felt an excited flutter in my chest where my heart had once beaten a lifetime ago. Alice was still in there. The flutter dissipated when I realized that she must be delirious. Going back was impossible. The device was capable only of taking me to a random universe, or my own home universe. I had left behind any hope of happiness for myself when I'd made the excruciating, impossible choice to bring Alice to Carlisle. I may question that decision for all time, but there was no going back now. There was only going forward.

I kicked in the door with full force, not caring whether it had survived the impact or would need to be replaced. "Carlisle!" I shouted desperately. "Jasper! I need you!"

"Edward?" It wasn't only Carlisle and Jasper who had appeared in the doorway at the sound of their names, but the entire family. Before anyone had a chance to ask if I'd found Bella, five pairs of eyes fell on the crumpled body of my fallen sister I carried in my arms. Panic set in instantly as Jasper's emotions ran wild and uncontrolled.

"What happened?" Esme cried out.

"What did you do to her?" Rosalie accused me.

"There's no time to explain," the words were pouring out of me hurriedly, before I had time to consider what I said. "She had a thought a moment ago. She's still in there, but she's been subjected to severe trauma. Carlisle, is there anything you can do? Please!"

Carlisle took her from me and carried her over to the couch, where he gently laid her out to get a better look. Jasper had begun to calm slightly when I'd mentioned that she had a thought, and though he was still panicked, he was able to rein in the emotion so that it no longer affected everyone around him. Still, we were all panicked on our own without any additional help from my brother.

I continued to stand uselessly in the doorway, frozen in place by my own suffering. Had I made the right choice? Bella was lost to me now. By the time I found another place with a human Bella who hadn't been protected by Edward's love, she would be gone. All of this, everything I'd done, everything I'd witnessed, the suffering I'd caused Alice… All of it was for nothing. I fidgeted with the pockets of my jacket and my hands touched on the piece of paper that had been given to me months before by another Alice.

_Edward's future is clear now._ These words, once so comforting to me, now served as a mocking reminder of what I'd lost and what would never be mine again. My future was clear, all right. Nothing lie ahead for me but an empty, black hole of endless torment.

"I need to know what happened," Carlisle told me softly, shaking me momentarily loose from my self-pity. Slowly, I proceeded with the impossible task of closing the distance between myself and the couch where my beloved sister clung helplessly to her own existence.

"Alice found me," I whispered. "She insisted on coming along to help. The sensation of shifting worlds is terrible, second only to the pain of being turned. She suffered headaches whenever she searched the future and found a second Edward, and when there was a second Alice, the pain was even worse. We would shift, which was agonizing, then she would search her visions, which was also torturous, then shift again. It was too much for her."

"And you kept going anyway?" Jasper snarled at me. "You thought you'd sacrifice _my_ mate for yours?" Emmett lunged at Jasper before he could attack me, and he used all of his considerable strength to prevent Jasper from destroying me where I stood.

"It—I—No," I struggled to find the words. "After we'd shifted twice, I told her we had to go home. She demanded that we keep going. After two more shifts, I started to take her home in spite of her protests, but she tricked me and pressed the sequence anyway to take us to another world. She felt responsible for Bella's death," I explained, choking on the name of my lost love, "so she thought she had to make it up to me. I didn't want this. I wish it was me lying there instead of her."

_Go back, go back, go back, go back…_

Alice's mind was working again, but it seemed to be stuck in an endless loop. This was all she kept thinking, over and over again.

"Did she say anything before this happened?" Carlisle asked me.

"Yes," I replied. Alice's thoughts of _go back_ were growing louder, so loud that I was having difficulty focusing on spoken words, and I raised my voice to compensate. "She said 'this is it.'"

Jasper growled, trying in vain to break free from Emmett, who was now aided by Esme.

"Did she give you any indication of what 'it' was?" Carlisle pressed me as he continued to examine Alice. She was beginning to put up the most minor of resistances when he lifted or pressed on her limbs, and I allowed myself momentarily to hope that she might be all right after all.

"I assumed she was foreseeing her—what was happening to her," I stopped myself before mentioning the possibility of Alice's death, fearing that it would be the last thing I ever said as Jasper looked on furiously.

Carlisle shook his head as he flexed Alice's fingers back and forth. "I don't think so. I'm sure she must have been suffering tremendously, but it's not possible for one of our kind to die in that manner. I should know, given all of the methods of suicide I attempted immediately after turning." He glanced up at Jasper. "She's going to recover. Her body just shut down for awhile to escape the pain," he explained.

"Is that possible?" Jasper asked, relaxing slightly at our father's words.

Carlisle nodded. "I've never seen it in a vampire before, but it's fairly common in humans. The pain threshold for a vampire is much higher, and lapsing into unconsciousness is far more difficult, given that we do not sleep. Still, it is theoretically possible, and all of the evidence in this case points to…"

I couldn't hear the rest of Carlisle's speech. All I could hear was _go back, go back, go back_. But there was no going back. Any possibility of redemption I'd once had was now lost to me forever. I drifted aimlessly across the room, eventually sinking into the chair directly across from the couch where Alice was laid out, hopefully recovering.

I _had_ made the right call, I knew. I couldn't have allowed Alice's suffering to go on any longer. Still, doing the right thing didn't always have its own rewards. I shut my eyes, tuning out the voices of my family. Impossibly, I was grateful for Alice's endless chorus of nonsense, because it meant that I had a much easier time avoiding the conversation taking place around me.

What would I do now? I didn't want to live any longer, knowing that I would never again be with Bella, but I couldn't go through with my original plan of suicide at the hands of the wolves. Seeing the devastation that had been brought upon a different set of Cullens due to Edward's demise had talked me out of that course of action. Could I go on forever like this, a hollow shell of a man? I had lived just over a century before meeting Bella. Couldn't I live without her again?

There was no longer any light in my life, no meaning in anything I might attempt to do. If I lived another hundred years, there would never be another Bella. Of this much, I was certain. I thought of the words of wisdom imparted to me by a different Carlisle, so much like my own Carlisle, but deeply affected by the loss of his "firstborn" son. If he'd lost Esme, he had speculated that he would survive by getting through one day, then another, and another, with the support of his family.

Did I have that kind of strength?

Perhaps I would start by trying to get through today. If I could get through today, I could reassess the situation tomorrow. Just a few hours, that was all I needed to focus on for now.

Inside, the blackness crept in, ripping what fragment of a soul I still possessed into shreds. I existed. I could continue to exist for a few hours more. That was all I could promise myself for now.


	41. A Woman Scorned

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Forty One – A Woman Scorned

_Go back, go back, go back…_

Over the course of the hour, Alice continued to show overall signs of improvement, but it was a slow process. She would seem to regain control of an arm or leg for a few minutes, but her motor skills would quickly lapse back away. However, she was beginning to twitch and jerk quite often, and Carlisle was extremely optimistic that this was a good sign. I couldn't help but agree. Some movement, any movement, was better than the state in which I'd brought her to the house. Throughout all of it though, her mind kept up its steady, nonsensical chorus.

Although I was quite perturbed about Alice's current state, I was secretly grateful that my family's attentions were focused anywhere other than myself. It was over. I had lost. I would never see Bella again, at least not in any way that we could remain together. I could leave again and find some universe where she existed, watching her from afar and living in quiet discontent. It would be an improvement over my present situation simply to know that she existed, but I would never again know happiness such as I'd known for a mere few months of my existence.

It wasn't quite accurate to think of the situation as _unfair_. Certainly, it was true that I had lived more than a century and had known happiness for only months. However, any time I attempted to lament the injustice of the matter, I came always to the same conclusion.

It was all my fault.

Above all, the journey, however brief it had ultimately been, had taught me that I had myself to blame for everything that had gone wrong. Alice may want to take some of the responsibility upon herself, but I found her actions in checking on her friend and sister to be quite easy to condone. It was I who had placed her in such a lamentable situation as to be exposed to the vampire who had murdered her. Moreover, it was I who had decided that being with Bella was too dangerous, and I had reacted to that fallible assumption by running away. I hadn't even consulted Bella first to find out whether she might have any other ideas, for I had known what her suggestion would be. _Change me_, she would have said. And I would have disregarded her quite reasonable request out of a misplaced sense that I was somehow better equipped than she to make decisions about _her_ life and _her_ mortality.

If, as in Universe Three, I had allowed James's venom to complete her transformation, I would have avoided the matter with Jasper on her birthday, and I would never have felt compelled to leave her days later. Whether or not she could still be considered to be "alive" at that point would be up for debate, but she would certainly not be dead as she was now.

If I had handled the situation like Emmett had in Universe Four, she would never have met James's coven and Laurent would never have come looking for her. More importantly, I would never have left her alone. At this very moment, she would be by my side, possibly still human, possibly not, but existing in some form, and loving me.

If I had simply stayed away from her as Edward had done in Universe Six, she would never have been placed in danger. Neither she nor I would be truly happy, but we would have gone on, blissfully ignorant of the misery that could have resulted if I had made a series of ridiculous and self-important choices, culminating in Bella's death. And my ruination.

I would never be whole again. There would never be meaning in anything. Perhaps worst of all was the knowledge that I couldn't bring myself to beg for death. I had seen the handprint my death would make on the lives of my family. It would be permanent, irreversible, and they would go on for all time missing their fallen brother and son. Despite the blackness I now felt within every inch of my body, I knew now, once and for all, that I could not bring that fate upon my loved ones.

So this was to be how I would spend eternity. Never sleeping. Never resting. Always mourning the loss of the woman I'd loved. Always knowing that it had been my fault. Continuing to exist, not because there was any hope that tomorrow could be better, but because to do otherwise would be to commit a great disservice to my family, to whom I owed everything. They had never wavered in their support for me. Although they had found my choices confusing, contradictory, and even wrong, they had gone along with me because I'd asked them to. I owed them everything, and so this was the sacrifice I would make for them. I would give them everything that was mine to give. I would continue on, even though I was but a hollow casing of the man I'd once been, for their sake.

It was the least I could do.

It was the most I could do.

_Go back, go back, go back…_

If only I could. If there had been some way to "go back" and change the decisions I'd already made. If only my family had been able to master time travel instead of merely shifting between universes, I would go back and murder Edward of four years ago myself so that I could take his place and make the right decisions. The decisions that would allow me to be with Bella. The decisions that would allow Bella to live.

"Has she made any attempts to communicate mentally?" Carlisle's voice interrupted my quiet musings.

"Yes," I replied, my voice hollow. "She just keeps saying 'go back.' She's been saying it ever since I got her home. I'm not sure what she could possibly mean by that."

Rosalie, milling about behind the couch, made a loud snorting noise. "Obviously, it means she wants you to go back, moron."

_Go back, go back, go back…_

My expression changed from blank to puzzled momentarily. "Go back where?"

"I don't know. Wherever you just were."

I sighed. "She must be in worse shape than we thought, if she's having delusions like that."

Suddenly, Alice's eyes flew open. "Edward! Go back! You have to get back _now_!"

"Alice!" Jasper hadn't left her side, yet he somehow seemed to rush over to her when she spoke. But, just as she'd done every other time she showed drastic improvement, she lapsed back once more into her previous state.

"She _is_ getting better, son," Carlisle comforted Jasper. "It will just take time. Her system is overloaded from what she's endured." Jasper sighed heavily and buried his face in Alice's shoulder.

Satisfied that Alice's condition was, for the moment, stable once more, Carlisle turned his attention to me momentarily. "She seems quite insistent that you should go back."

"I don't understand why. Going back out there again no longer makes any sense. All of the human Bellas will be gone soon, and all of the vampire Bellas already have their own Edwards." I hadn't gone into detail yet with Carlisle concerning all that I'd seen. There was plenty of time for that; right now, he needed to attend to Alice.

"Forgive me, Edward, but I think she specifically wants you to return to the last universe you were in, just before you brought her here."

_Yes! Go back! _Alice's thoughts seemed to confirm Carlisle's statement. Neither of them were making any sense.

"Carlisle," I said slowly, trying desperately not to sound condescending, "if I use the device again, it will place me in a random universe."

Carlisle exchanged a confused expression with Esme and Emmett. Rosalie was standing with her arms folded across her chest, doing her best to focus her gaze in any direction other than mine.

"Edward," Esme spoke up slowly, "Alice didn't explain all of the improvements to you?"

_All_ of the improvements? "Alice told me that the device was capable of returning me here. It seemed that there was something else she was keeping from me, but she told me that she would explain it to me later."

Carlisle's expression relaxed. "I'm not sure what reason she had for not telling you about the recall feature, but we can explain it now."

Once again, a clear image of the savage Bella from Universe Nine appeared in Alice's mind. She seemed to have regained much of her control of her thoughts and memories; only her body seemed to be failing to cooperate still.

Esme surprised me by picking up the explanation about the feature about which Alice had refused to enlighten me. "I was the one who insisted on it," she began. "I was afraid that you might find a place where you and Bella could be together, but that for one reason or another, you might not be able to come back here to stay. We still wanted you to have the option to visit, to tell us all about your travels, to show us pictures of the adventures you and Bella were having together, even to bring Bella with you for short periods of time, and still be able to return to that universe when it was done."

Carlisle once again spoke up, correctly taking my furrowed brow for bewilderment on my part. "The device automatically stores the last five universes you've visited. We decided to expand it to include so many in case you should accidentally select the random option when you meant to go back. Only retaining the last universe could have inadvertently locked you out of Bella's world forever if you came to visit us, leaving you both lonely and miserable, and her without explanation for your absence." He glanced at Alice's restless form. She was flexing the muscles in her face, seeming as if she were trying desperately to regain her capacity for speech, but she couldn't quite manage.

"I don't understand why she didn't tell you about it," Esme said worriedly. "We specifically told her to go over all of the device's new options with you."

"I think I understand," I said slowly. "When Alice found me, I was in a very precarious situation." For the first time since I'd arrived, my parents took in my new scars and began to guess mentally as to what might have caused them. They did not come even close to the truth. "If I'm correct, she believed that I might use the feature to return to that same universe, and that she might not be able to convince me to leave again."

_Yes!_ Alice told me. _I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't want to keep it from you. I _wanted_ to tell you how to use it, but I was so afraid you would go back to that… that thing that used to be Bella. That wasn't where you belonged. I had to make sure we'd shifted enough times to erase that awful place from the device's memory before I could tell you, and we hadn't quite gotten there yet. That's why I was so desperate to shift that last time. We'd been to four more places. One more and that universe would be gone forever, and now it is. But don't you see? It was a good thing I did that, because that's where you need to go. Edward, that was it. _

I was pleasantly surprised that Alice was able to think clearly for so long, but after this brief monologue, her thoughts went largely blank once more. She was no longer repeating herself, which I supposed was a good thing. She would now be able to focus her full attention on recovering, instead of wasting energy on trying to tell me something I couldn't comprehend.

Still. To go back now, after I'd already caused so much suffering… Could it possibly be worth it? What if Alice was wrong? All she'd seen was Bella's condition. It seemed reasonable to assume that Edward wasn't a piece of the puzzle which made up that universe—Universe Fourteen, I supposed—given that her illness hadn't been discovered in a more timely manner and he hadn't been personally at her side. Nevertheless, I simply couldn't handle another disappointment now. I wasn't certain, in my present emotional state, that I would return to my family alive after all if something went wrong. And something would surely go wrong. Something always did.

"Edward?" Esme called my name tentatively. "Hadn't you better be going?"

"No," I replied, forlorn. "Too much damage has already been done. It's over."

I didn't have time to take in Esme's shocked expression before a female voice loudly shrieked, resonating throughout the room. At first, I assumed that Alice had regained her senses again. I looked in her direction and confirmed that she was still lying relatively still, and at precisely the same time I felt an extreme pressure on my right arm.

"Rosalie?" My sister had my arm in a viselike grip and was attempting to pull me into an upright position.

"I am going to give you two choices, Edward." Rosalie snarled at me, but her voice had an eerie calm quality about it. "Either you come with me right this minute, or your arm does. And if you think you've been having adventures lately, I just can't wait to see you roam throughout all of North America with one arm, trying to find which deer somewhere on this continent has a vampire appendage jammed up its ass."

"Rosalie!" Esme's scolding fell on deaf ears.

_You don't think I'll do it?_ Rosalie's thoughts were remarkably sincere.

This certainly narrowed my options considerably.

I rose, putting forth no resistance as my sister hauled me out of the house. We walked at a nearly human pace for some time before I finally asked where we were going.

"To that clearing of yours," Rosalie hissed.

"Rosalie, I already said—"

"I know what you said!" she growled. "If you think I'm going to spend all of eternity watching you mope around because you don't _feel_ like doing something about it now when you have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make things right, you've got another thing coming."

I was stunned. Rosalie had never expressed any specific desire to see me happy. Certainly, she hadn't reveled in my pain, and she did love me in her own way, but of all of my family, she'd always been the one most opposed to my involvement with Bella. I couldn't understand why she'd suddenly grown so insistent. Her thoughts were so fueled with rage that it was impossible to make coherent sense of them.

Fortunately for me, she was perfectly willing to continue speaking her thoughts aloud.

Unfortunately for me, she was perfectly willing to continue speaking her completely unedited thoughts aloud.

"Edward, when you became obsessed with that _human_ girl, I thought it was the worst thing you'd ever done," she spat at me, still dragging me onward toward the clearing, her pace quickening slightly as she spoke. "As if our lives weren't pointless enough already, now you were actually actively dragging someone into it who had another choice. I was furious with you for essentially driving me and Emmett to move away, and when you decided that we all had to leave Forks for good, I was even more angry. In a way though, I was relieved, because we could live together as a family again. _Imagine_ my surprise when you took off on your own.

"I thought my life—if that's actually what we do—was a few shades shy of miserable before you brought that girl into it. Now it looked like we were never going to be a family unit again, and I realized how much better off we _all_ were when we were together. All I wanted was for you to just _come home_ and end this insanity. Esme was constantly grieving. Carlisle was second-guessing every decision he'd ever made that involved you, especially the decision to change you in the first place. Emmett missed you so much it hurt to look at him. And I—I missed you too," she croaked. For a moment, Rosalie's anger subsided as she let the sorrow wash over her.

The moment passed, and she redoubled her grip on my arm, picking up speed again. "Alice saw something, I didn't know what it was, and she took off back to Forks. She started to tell me what she saw, then seemed to think better of it. I was so angry; I thought about calling you to tell you where she was going, but until I had news, I decided against it. You probably wouldn't have even answered you phone anyway." Rosalie laughed mirthlessly.

"Then she came home," she continued, "and told us what happened. She and Carlisle left right away to deliver the news to you in person. Of course, if it had been _me_ that had been in trouble like that, she would never have run off to try and rescue me," my sister's voice faltered momentarily, but she didn't allow herself to pause for self-pity. "In a sick way, I was happy. I knew Bella wasn't a bad person, and the world was a better place for her being in it. But she didn't belong in _our_ world. Maybe now you'd finally see the consequences of your actions. Now you'd _have_ to come home, because there was no reason to stay away anymore. But I was wrong. You didn't come home. And everything was just as bad as it was before, except now Esme was also grieving about Bella being dead, and Alice, who had been relatively calm about your absence, was upset too. Everything turned out all wrong, it wasn't supposed to be like this. We were supposed to be a family _forever_, Edward.

"That's when I realized—for better or for worse, that girl _was_ part of our family. I didn't have to like her. I didn't have to agree with her decisions. I didn't have to agree with you for picking her. But I did have to acknowledge that she was my sister, and she was gone. Once I realized that I'd lost my sister, you know what, Edward? I. Didn't. Like it.

"Obviously, we couldn't bring her back from the dead, but I had to do _something_. That's when I had the idea that there must be a universe somewhere that had her in it, and maybe you could find her and bring her back, and even if you couldn't—well, at least no one would be grieving anymore. Things would be almost normal. Carlisle, of course, was thrilled about the idea of building something no one had ever created before, and for three years while we worked on that blasted device of yours, we really _were_ a family again. We were working together. Instead of mourning and commiserating, we had a common goal. We put a lot of metaphorical blood, sweat, and tears into that stupid thing for you, and I'll be _damned_ if you're going to insult me, and insult all of us, by throwing it aside and sitting around on your ass for eternity, moping about what could've been."

I didn't know which part of Rosalie's speech had stunned me the most. The fact that she actually accepted Bella as a sister? The fact that she had missed my presence? The fact that the device had been _her_ idea? Or that fact that, in some strange way, everything she'd said seemed to be in fitting with her personality?

We traveled the rest of the way to the clearing in silence. I never spoke a word in response to Rosalie's diatribe, and her thoughts revealed that she was content enough to have gotten the matter off her chest. She was very pleased with herself for saying her piece, and she was looking forward to going home and smugly telling the others that she'd convinced me to finish what I'd started.

Once we had reached my customary shifting point, Rosalie clinically explained to me how to use the device's "recall" feature. I was still largely in shock, uncertain how to react or what the right thing to do was. I stood still, making no motion to begin the shifting process, as Rosalie stood two feet away from me with her arms crossed and a sour expression on her face.

"Edward, you are going to go _now_. And we know _exactly_ how to recreate that device, so believe me, you'd better not try anything funny. If you aren't back here in five days, with Bella or with one hell of an explanation why she isn't with you, I'm coming after you myself. I'm sure that idea about finding your arm seemed pretty bad. Wait til you have to search for it in some other universe. That's _if _I decide to stick with ripping off your arm instead of a more sensitive appendage." An evil grin spread over her face as she mentally confirmed my fears as to exactly which "appendage" she spoke of.

"I'm going, I'm going," I muttered. She had me backed into a corner. I'd already decided against dying, and my life was miserable enough with all of my body parts firmly attached. I started to press the sequence my sister had just shown me, but I paused for a moment to meet her eyes.

"Rosalie—" I started.

"Don't you _dare,_" she interrupted me, "even _think_ about thanking me."

In spite of everything, I felt my face break into a grin. "I'll see you in a few days," I said.

A moment later, the familiar pain washed over me, and not for the first time, I found myself welcoming it. If nothing else, it was getting me away from my sister's wrath. At least I knew when the pain was over, I would still be in one piece.

* * *

**A/N: The original, unfinished draft of this chapter had Carlisle and Esme convincing Edward to go back. It was starting to turn out a little too angsty, even for this story. It works much, much better with Rosalie. Plus, I feel like I finally earned my T rating... **


	42. Complications

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Forty Two –

My mind was racing as my body was crying out in protest against the agony of shifting yet again so soon. I had never had occasion to realize, until the events of the past two days, that there were repercussions to shifting too rapidly. Even alone, it was a horrific experience. I couldn't even imagine how terrible it must have been for Alice, whose pain was only amplified by the severe headaches she experienced from being in a world with more than one Edward, or even worse, more than one Alice. Silently, I hoped that I would not be giving headaches once again to the Alice of Universe Fourteen. I felt fairly confident, however, that Edward must be dead in this world. My own Alice had been so certain that this was the right universe, the one where I would find the Bella who could truly belong to me.

Could this really be it? I hadn't even begun to take in the idea. My long-dead heart had been broken too many times over the past few months. I dared not hope, or even consider the notion, that there could somehow be a happy ending for me. History had determined many times over that vampires were the villains. The only happy ending in a tale featuring vampires was the one which ended with a stake through the heart. Even though that particular fate was useless when it came to actually attempting to murder one of our kind, the message had always been clear enough. We were soulless, bloodsucking monsters, demons destined to roam the earth forever, doing naught but evil and one day finding punishment for our sins. There was to be no happy ending for one of us, for we were evil incarnate, the closest form to human that could be assumed by the devil.

Yet, Alice had been so certain that my happy ending was inevitable in this world. I found it difficult to argue that someone as caring and sweet as Alice could be condemned to an eternity of anguish. Carlisle, too, was undeniably deserving of happiness. Esme, Emmett, Jasper, and yes, even headstrong Rosalie, were not people of evil. If I could believe all of them to be deserving of happiness, why, then, couldn't I believe the same of myself? Was I so different from they?

I was, I knew. Of the seven of us, only Jasper and I had lived on the "normal" vampire diet for any length of time. Jasper had done it because he'd been led to believe there was no other way. Indeed, most of our kind had no idea there was another way. Only those of our kind who took the time to seek out other options could learn of them. As far as I knew, my own family and the Denali coven were the only ones who had sought out this life, although I was sure that others must exist somewhere in the world. Still, we were vastly outnumbered. Some had heard of our lifestyle choices and couldn't envision making that manner of personal sacrifice, while others lived on, ignorant of the other choices available to them. Jasper had been part of the latter, and this had only changed because of Alice's visions.

I, on the other hand, had known that living off animals was possible, had done it for several years, but had deliberately chosen to switch to murdering humans in order to sustain myself. Certainly, I'd selected targets for consumption who had themselves committed terrible crimes against humanity, but did that truly make me any better than those who killed indiscriminately? A murderer was still likelier than not to have people who cared for him or her and would mourn their loss. What, then, constituted an acceptable murder? A human who had no friends or family, but had committed no significant wrongs? That certainly wasn't justice either. Who was I to determine what was a significant wrong? I was responsible for so many deaths, murders I'd committed when I had known beyond a doubt that there had been another way. Perhaps this was my penance. Life without light. Without Bella.

I was firmly on my feet, back in the clearing once more. It still looked the same as it always did. Could I really be certain that the recall feature had worked? Well, if it didn't, I supposed that would suffice as a good enough excuse for Rosalie not to sever any important parts of my body when I returned without Bella.

How should I proceed? I had seen from Alice's vision that Bella didn't have a lot of time left, but I couldn't very well just run straight to her house without knowing where her relationship with Edward stood in this universe. If he'd left her and never returned, she might be happy to see him, or it might cause her a great deal of suffering. Worse still would be if he had died in this world. She would be inconsolably terrified upon seeing a ghost, or she would be convinced that she had gone mad, or that she was already dead. Too much excitement of that nature could be damaging to her in her present state. There was also the matter of the fact that I still wasn't 100% certain that I had, indeed, arrived in the same universe once again.

I had no choice, then. I would begin my investigation, as always, at my family's home. I had taken only one step when I heard something crunch under my feet. I looked down automatically to see what I'd stepped on, although it didn't make much sense for anything other than an animal carcass or a pile of dried leaves to be out here in the middle of nowhere.

Under my foot was a shiny red patent leather purse.

Alice's purse.

So it had worked after all. I was back. Did I dare allow myself to hope that Alice would be right about this being the correct universe?

Without pausing to antagonize myself further, I broke into a full-speed run to my family's home. I needed to get information from them as quickly as I could. Somehow, I would have to deter their questioning until after I was sure that Bella was safe. I would give them all the explanations in the world once I was positive that she would survive.

I hesitated at the front door, deciding to err on the side of caution by knocking. A quick scan of the minds inside revealed that, as had often been the case, everyone was present except for Carlisle and my own counterpart. He was probably still at work. No one seemed to be particularly distressed by Edward's absence, which gave me pause. If he wasn't dead, why wasn't he with Bella? Why was Alice so certain that this had been the right universe?

Esme answered the door, and her expression revealed mild surprise, but nothing like what I had come to expect her to display in response to a visit from her dead son. _A visitor_, she thought, looking me over quickly. _Good, we won't need to ask him not to hunt nearby, he seems to follow our diet. I wonder why Alice didn't see him? I didn't realize there were any more like us. Does he live with Tanya? Maybe he wanted to introduce himself to the extended family_? More questions blazed through Esme's mind rapid-fire, and she seemed completely unaware that I could hear her.

"Hello, won't you come in?" she greeted me pleasantly. "We have a visitor," she announced to my brothers and sisters, who were scattered about the living room engaged in various activities.

"A visitor? I didn't see anyone coming," Alice said, puzzled. _ I wonder if he has some gift that blocks my visions?_

One by one, I observed as they all took me in. Each of them had similar reactions to Esme at taking in my appearance, confused that there was another vampire visiting who followed a diet of animal blood and who hadn't been seen by Alice. Jasper was slightly concerned about the level of anxiety I displayed, but he wrote it off to being nervous about meeting such a large coven. Emmett sized me up as a sparring partner, decided that he would be able to take me far too easily unless I had some kind of talent that would enable me to "cheat," and disregarded the idea of challenging me. Rosalie wondered if I thought she was pretty. None of them made the slightest effort to guard their thoughts or hide anything from me.

They didn't recognize me.

They had absolutely no idea who I was, nor did they have any notion as to my specific gifts.

I realized that the silence had grown uncomfortable, and that they were expecting me to introduce myself. "Hello," I said, gathering my senses just in time to ease the tension. "My name is Edward…" Well, I couldn't very well introduce myself as Edward Cullen, could I? "…Masen," I finished lamely.

Esme's eyes grew very wide at my introduction. That name, she recognized. "Rosalie," she said calmly, not taking her eyes away from me as she turned her head a fraction of an inch to call over her shoulder, "would you please call your father?"

"And tell him what?" Rosalie's phone was already in her hand. She seemed content enough to obey this request, simple as it was, but didn't understand why she was being asked to do this.

"Just tell him that he needs to get home immediately. Tell him that there's no danger, nothing's wrong, but I think he needs to see this for himself." _It must be someone else with the same name,_ she told herself. _Carlisle will be able to tell for sure._

Rosalie dialed the phone, but her call went straight to voicemail. "I think he's still busy with his patient," she said, a hint of sadness coloring her voice.

Esme, too, seemed marginally upset by this. _So young_, she mused to herself before speaking aloud once more. "Edward, I'm not sure how much you know about my family or how you know about us at all, but my husband is a doctor. He's been tending to a young patient at her home for the past few weeks in addition to his regular duties. I'm afraid she doesn't have much time left. He may not be home for a few hours. Please, make yourself at home while you wait." She gestured at the television, books, and computers. I noticed that the piano was conspicuously absent, and the room was arranged a bit differently without the need to accommodate the large instrument.

"I really need to speak to him as quickly as possible. Perhaps I can be of assistance? I have extensive medical training."

Esme fidgeted nervously. _I wonder if he can handle being around humans? I suppose he must be able to, if he has medical training_. "I'm not sure if that's such a good idea," she said anyway.

"It's the police chief's daughter he's treating?" I inquired, already knowing the answer.

Esme seemed extremely hesitant to respond, but since she still had no idea about my gifts, I got the answer from her anyway.

"I know where he lives. I'll go pay Carl—your husband a visit. I'll be back later to answer any questions you have," I added. As soon as I'd started to mention Carlisle's name, everyone certainly had a question forming in their mind. I turned to leave.

"Wait," Esme called after me, but I ignored her. I had a far more pressing matter to attend to now than my rudeness.

None of my family had recognized me. Esme alone had recognized my human name. This could only mean that Edward had never lived among any of them. Had he rebelled against Carlisle immediately in this universe and never returned? Months before, this idea would have been inconceivable, but I had seen a red-eyed version of myself in another universe, one who had lived on human blood for decades, checking in for rare visits with Carlisle. If Edward had rebelled immediately, he might never have formed a close enough bond to Carlisle to want to come back for visits, and the rest of the family might never have met him.

Somewhere out there, Edward was feeding on humans, and perhaps he wasn't truly aware of the other possibilities his life could have held. I felt sorry for him, but I wasn't about to give Bella up on the highly unlikely possibility that he might ever find his way here and get her to fall in love with him again. I'd already decided not to allow that to happen again, in any event.

I was at Bella's house quickly enough, and I steeled myself for how grim her condition would be. She would also not know me, which would be painful and difficult for me, but it was an obstacle I was prepared to overcome. Once I was as ready as I was going to be, I knocked at the door, having already confirmed through my gifts that Carlisle and Charlie were both inside, and through my sense of smell that Bella was inside as well.

Charlie answered the door after a minute. He was clearly puzzled, for he hadn't been expecting me. His thoughts drifted toward vague suspicions when he took in my appearance. Apparently, he'd noticed the resemblance between Carlisle and myself. I would need to think of something, but it could wait.

"Hello," I said pleasantly. "My name is Edward Masen. I'm in my final year of medical school, and I just came into town to complete some volunteer work at your hospital. I heard about your daughter's case and I came to see whether Dr. Cullen needed any assistance?" My story really didn't add up, but Charlie didn't take the time to scrutinize it. He was just happy to have another person with medical training available to assist with his daughter.

Charlie stuck out his hand, and I shook it. He flinched slightly away from the cold, but didn't pay it much mind. After all, everyone had heard the legends about doctors and their cold hands. "Hello, Dr. Masen. Is that the appropriate title, if you haven't graduated yet? Sorry if I've performed some breach of protocol…"

"Edward will be fine," I did my best to smile, but it was so difficult to do when my Bella needed me so badly.

"All right, Edward. I'm Charlie Swan. Feel free to call me Charlie, Mr. Swan, or Chief Swan, whatever makes you comfortable. My daughter, Bella, is upstairs in her room." He led me upstairs and poked his head into the door. I waited in the hallway, not wanting to reveal myself to Carlisle in front of Charlie.

"Dr. Cullen, it seems you have an assistant for the day, a medical student. I'll leave you two to it, there's not much room in here. If you need anything at all…"

"Of course, Chief Swan," Carlisle answered, not glancing up from where his work at checking Bella's vital signs and comparing them to her chart.

Charlie grunted and left the room. He felt completely helpless.

I paused for long enough to let Charlie settle in front of the television, mindlessly paying no attention to whatever program he found. I drew in a deep breath, ignoring the flames that licked at the back of my throat from Bella's intoxicating scent, and entered the room.

"Hello Carlisle," I greeted him. At the sound of my voice, he turned.

_What? How? That's not possible!_

"Edward Masen? But how…?"

Carlisle had managed to stifle a yelp, but only just. He didn't want to alarm Charlie downstairs.

"I'm sorry to arrive unannounced like this. I know it's been quite some time since you've seen me," I began.

Carlisle blinked. "Quite some time since I saw you die, yes."

Die?

Carlisle continued. "It was ninety years ago that I watched you die. I'm sorry, this is so painful to relive—for both of us, I suppose. Your mother begged me—no, demanded for me to do whatever it took to save you. To do what other doctors couldn't do. I had lived alone for, quite literally, centuries, and I considered whether she was requesting what I thought she was. But she couldn't have been. She couldn't have wanted that life for you. It pained me to watch you die, and I've spent the last 80 years wondering if I should have changed you. You did die though, Edward. I'm sure of that. I certainly didn't change you."

Carlisle's lips barely moved as he spoke, overcome with emotions as he was. He paused, struggling internally with what to say next. _Now that I've gotten started, I don't feel as if I can stop. There's so much I've wanted to say to him for so long, so much I've _wished_ I could tell him. Sometimes I'm grateful that I can't sleep anymore, for I know that he would haunt my dreams every night. _I wanted to say something to ease his suffering, but I remained silent, waiting for him to clear his own soul of the emotional torment he'd endured in silence for so long.

"A few years later, I found my wife Esme, and I couldn't live without her, so I changed her. I started wondering once again whether you should've been the first. You'd been dead and buried for quite awhile already, and it wasn't as if you were the first patient I'd ever lost, but I was haunted by the memory of your mother's pleading. I confessed everything to Esme, but after I found Rosalie, then later Emmett, I never spoke to her about you again. She could tell, of course, that I was still tortured by the memory, but she never said a word. Alice and Jasper joined our family later, and we seemed full and happy enough, but sometimes I still thought of you and your piercing green eyes, your mother's screaming insistence… I can't imagine how she could have known what I was capable of doing for you, but somehow, I'm certain that she did.

"I've never spoken to the children about any of this. It would break their hearts to know that I've suffered so much over that decision, and I don't ever want them to believe that they aren't enough of a family for me. Still, I've often wondered whether I should have changed you.

"But I didn't change you, Edward. And yet here you are. I'm afraid I don't understand."

Ordinarily, I would have launched immediately into an explanation, but I found myself completely lacking in words. I should have known. Given all of the times I'd heard Carlisle lament about whether he should have changed me, and not just my own Carlisle, but virtually every Carlisle I'd met, it should have gone without saying that somewhere existed a universe where Carlisle had not made the decision to change Edward. His pain was plainly on his face; this was a decision over which Carlisle had spent decades agonizing. My own Carlisle, as well as the others I'd encountered, had expanded the family by changing Rosalie as a way to try to grant Edward the happiness he'd found with Esme. In most universes, it had backfired. In this universe however, he'd changed Rosalie out of regret for his lost son.

_All the time I've spent wondering if I made the wrong decision, and somehow he was changed anyway. Somehow he found his way to this life. Somehow he even learned to live off animals. Has he been alone all this time? I condemned him to a life of solitude because of my indecision_. Carlisle was filled with regret, as he'd apparently spent much of the last few decades of his exceptionally lengthy existence.

"Carlisle, before we discuss this matter further, I need to know how much time Bella has left," I said worriedly. She appeared to be hanging onto life by a thread. Had I waited too long? Was I already too late?

Carlisle was puzzled by my question, but his guilt at the life he to which he still believed he'd sent me was so immense that he was unwilling to question my motives. "Not long," he told me gravely. "For the past week, I've been uncertain whether she would make it through the night. She keeps hanging on though. It's as if there's something she needs to do before—"

"Carlisle, she must be changed," I interrupted. I was silently furious with myself for delaying so long. Carlisle deserved a full explanation, he deserved to be able to make an informed decision, not one based on misplaced guilt for a wrong he hadn't committed. Edward Masen in this universe had died in 1918. He hadn't spent ninety years wandering the earth alone, doomed to figure out his new life for himself. Carlisle's judgment was clouded by his lack of this knowledge.

Carlisle, normally perfectly composed and collected, gaped openly at me. _Why her? Surely he's come across plenty of human women in his travels. Why would he come here and ask this of me? Still, after all the suffering I've caused him, I surely owe him this much…_

I sighed, torn between my frantic need to change Bella and my desire not to deceive Carlisle, a man who was made up of pure compassion and caring. "You didn't do anything to me, Carlisle. I'm not the same Edward Masen you saw ninety years ago."

_But then how…_

"Also, before I say anything else, it's only fair that I should let you know that I can read minds."

_He can… Well that's quite a talent._

"Yes, it is. I regret that your thoughts will not be private, and have not been throughout this discussion. It's not a talent I can turn off."

_Well if he's not Edward Masen, then who…_

"For the past ninety years or so, I've gone by the name Edward Cullen. I came here from another universe. I would be delighted to tell you the entire story of my life up to this point, the reason I've been traveling, and how I came to land here, but first, we must not let Bella die. She is my mate."

Carlisle looked slowly from Bella's unconscious body to my golden, pleading eyes. He was stunned. _I've never heard of one of our kind and a human…_

"Neither had I, until I met Bella."

"I'm sorry, I know you told me that you can read my thoughts, but I'm not accustomed to censoring them. There are complications with what you're asking. For one, I had never intended to create any more of our kind after Emmett. Second, there is a treaty between us and another group of… non-human creatures which prohibits me from biting a human. Third, there is the matter of finding something to tell her father. Lastly, how can we be sure it's what she would want?"

_Damn_. I was going to lose her. She was going to run out of time before I could find solutions to all of these problems. Had this truly all been for nothing? _You could have fought for me, at least a little_. It was another Bella's voice I heard in my own memories, but the sentiment was what mattered.

"The treaty with the wolves only specifies that your family is not to bite a human," I began. Carlisle was shocked that I knew about the treaty, but reminded himself that I was from another universe and there must be a similar treaty in place there. "As I'm not part of your family here, my actions are not covered by your treaty. I will change her myself. I'll need your help though. Her blood… _sings_ to me. It's an appeal unlike I've ever experienced before. I don't know whether I'll be able to stop. I very nearly didn't once before. That's a lengthy story I'll explain later."

Carlisle considered what I'd said. "That's true, it wouldn't break the treaty if you were the one who did it. They aren't allowed on our land because of the same treaty, so even if they're aware of your presence, they won't come looking for you. I suppose if I'm not the one doing it, I haven't broken my promise to myself not to create any more of our kind. But her father? And her?"

"I have no doubts about what Bella would want, if she knew me. I'm going to have to ask you to trust me on this one point. As for her father… Well, we will just have to get Charlie's permission," I said confidently, and with that, I darted down the stairs, leaving an extremely baffled Carlisle behind considering whether to escape now or wait to see what I had planned.


	43. Permission

**Well phooey! I'll admit it—I was wrong. **

**I've had that last chapter in my head pretty much since I started this story. I've played the scene over and over in my mind where Carlisle tells Edward about how he always wondered if he did the right thing by NOT changing him. But when it finally came time to write the scene, I did it an injustice by not explaining to all of you awesome readers, who HADN'T been thinking over Carlisle's motivations for months, where he was coming from and why he felt the need to tell Edward basically his whole life story. I added one more paragraph to the last chapter, which I hope clears it up a little. I'm sorry for the edit. I don't usually like to go back and make changes, except for correcting typos and the like. However, after it was pointed out to me by one of Multiverse's loyal readers that the entire page pretty much read like an exposition instead of an organic conversation, I realized where I'd made my mistake. Thanks for setting me straight! *wipes egg off face***

**The new paragraph, to spare you from scouring for it too hard, begins with "Carlisle's lips barely moved…"**

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Forty Three – Permission

Charlie was surprised to see me so quickly, and his mind immediately began jumping to the worst sorts of conclusions. His thoughts, normally partially clouded to me, were exceptionally clear on this occasion. He feared his daughter's death. He hadn't yet made it through all of the stages of grief, but he'd pushed through denial, anger, and guilt. Today, he was simply terrified about what he would do without her.

I spared a moment to wonder where Bella's mother was during this ordeal. Surely she wouldn't be so callous as to continue her life blissfully in Jacksonville with her new husband while her daughter's life slowly slipped away in Forks?

"Dr. Masen," Charlie interrupted my thoughts as he rose from the couch to greet me. There would be time later to ponder Renee's whereabouts. "Is everything all right?" He had forced his fears away, clinging to hope that perhaps today wasn't the day after all.

"Chief Swan," I began, "I'm sure you must be aware of how grave your daughter's condition is. Carl—Dr. Cullen has been keeping Bella on near-constant painkillers. She is barely able to maintain consciousness for a few moments at a time. I regret to say, she has little time remaining." My voice cracked as I spoke, betraying that I wasn't a seasoned physician speaking clinically of a patient for whom I had no emotional attachment. However, Charlie had easily believed my story about being a medical student, and he attributed my mental state to the fact that I simply didn't have much practice with the harsher side of the medical profession.

Chief Swan's face fell. His eyes welled with tears, and he turned away, wiping at his face with his thumb. He took a breath, then asked, "What's left to do?"

"I'm here to offer you an impossible choice," I told Charlie grimly. Carlisle, who was now deliberately listening to our conversation from upstairs, heard me speak these words and appeared at the bottom of the stairs. Charlie was far too distracted by his emotions to have noticed where the doctor was moments before, and so naturally assumed he had moved at a normal pace. After all, what other kind of pace was there?

"There is a type of treatment which is not well-known in the medical community," I continued, recalling the words Bella had put in her letter to her father in Universe Three and using those for inspiration. "In fact, Dr. Cullen and I may be the only ones in the world with medical training who are able to offer this option. We have found it to be most effective in completely eliminating disease and injury. It works quickly, but the process is irreversible. There are rather extreme side effects with which your daughter would have to live permanently. Still, she would have many years left, and she would be able to find happiness."

Charlie's mind was still largely a mystery to me, but the sheer love he felt for his daughter was evident. He allowed himself to hope that there was a chance that she could have a better life than this, one that wasn't cut off at the age of twenty-one, before she had even lived at all. He glanced nervously at Carlisle, who had moved at a human pace to close the gap between the foot of the stairs and the living room. Carlisle's hands were clasped in front of him, and I couldn't recall ever seeing a more serious look on his face.

"Chief Swan, you need to understand that this is not a procedure that I offer to my patients on a regular basis," he told Charlie. "I have administered this treatment only a handful of times." _I understand what you're trying to do, Edward, _he told me silently, getting used to the idea that I could hear him, _but he deserves to know just a bit more before he makes a decision. _"The patients," he continued gravely, "were my wife Esme, my daughter Rosalie, and my son Emmett. My other children, Alice and Jasper, underwent a similar treatment, but it was not administered by a medical professional. I, too, have been through the procedure, as has Edward," he gestured to me.

Charlie was puzzled, but he was beginning to put the pieces together. "You're both… Neither one of you is quite what you seem to be, are you?"

"I'm afraid not," I answered. "It goes against all of the rules surrounding this treatment for us to speak of it to you, even if we do not tell you all of the details, which I'm afraid we cannot. Therefore, we would have to ask you not to speak of what we've discussed. Ever. To anyone. Not to your coworkers, not to Bella's mother, and particularly not to your friends, Sue Clearwater and Billy Black." Charlie's eyes widened at the mention of his Quileute friends, wondering how I could have known about either of them. "Lastly-and this will be the most difficult part of the decision for you-I regret that you would never be able to see your daughter again."

Charlie sank back onto the couch again, his breath coming out in a long _whoosh_ noise which matched the sound the couch made as he sat. "How much time do I have to make a decision?"

"Not long," Carlisle spoke up. "I would be surprised if she makes it through the night," he added, as kindly as was possible to deliver such devastating news.

With or without Charlie's permission and Carlisle's help, Bella was going to be changed and was going to come home with me. It would be much easier for Carlisle if he didn't have to explain how or why a stranger who so closely resembled him had come into the house, snatched up Charlie's dying daughter, and ran away with her at an inhuman pace, never to be seen or heard from again. By now, this was the only reason I took the time to tarry in the living room, waiting for Charlie's blessing. As long as her heart was still beating of its own accord, there was still time to do things the right way. If that changed, then all bets would be off. I could hear her heartbeat, not as strong as it normally was, but still not in immediate peril. Her breathing was slow and labored, but still steady.

I had done everything wrong up to this point. For once, just for once, I wanted to do this right. That meant leaving no open wounds for Bella to fret over as she began her new life. With me. Although I maintained the severe appearance necessary for a medical professional discussing a dying patient and a dangerous treatment with her family, inside, I was bursting with joy.

The house was silent except for the sound of the two heartbeats inside, one stronger than the other. Charlie's heart was beating rapidly as his adrenaline took over, imploring him to either fight or flee. But the life which hung in the balance was not his own. It was that of his daughter, upstairs, struggling to go on for another day that, under ordinary circumstances, she would surely never see.

The circumstances, however, were far from ordinary as two vampires, known yet not known to one another, stood in the living room a mere 30 feet from the dying girl, begging her father to allow them to turn her into a demon of the night as well. Charlie could tell that there was something sinister about our request, but at the same time, he could see that we had Bella's best interests at heart, and he knew Carlisle to be a man of kindness and compassion.

"All I ever really wanted for Bells was for her to be happy," he sighed. "I was starting to think she was never really going to find it. Then she got sick, and I just knew… I wonder what her mother would've done," he mumbled the last sentence under his breath.

I opened my mouth to repeat my warning to Charlie about not telling Renee what he'd done, but before I could speak, Carlisle's thoughts cut through the air. _Don't bring up Bella's mother again,_ he warned me. A strange request. Charlie had always made little secret of the fact that he'd never found another woman quite like Renee, at least not until Harry Clearwater had left his wife a widow, but the mention of her name had never been painful for him before. Nonetheless, I shut my mouth and resumed looking on as Charlie struggled with the most important decision he would ever make.

A senseless decision, given that Bella's fate was sealed in any event. But nonetheless, a decision I wanted him to feel free to make.

Unless he chose wrongly. At which point, Carlisle and his family would need to leave town. They would eternally be furious with the strange vampire who had shown up at their door one day and blown their cover by changing a human girl against the wishes of her father before leaving with her, never to be seen again. Carlisle would, at least, have seeming confirmation that he'd been right not to change Edward, I noted with chagrin.

"If—if you two do this, she'll live another 70 or 80 years?" Charlie spoke frantically, desperately, trying to justify to himself the choice he wanted to make, the choice that would mean his daughter would live on.

"At least," Carlisle answered, cautious not to say anything which might reveal that if Bella lived only another 70 or 80 years, it meant that something would go horribly wrong in a few decades.

"And you'll look after her, like you did the others?" Charlie referred to the rest of Carlisle's family that he'd mentioned moments before.

"I promise I will forever guard her life as if it were my own." My words rang with such sincerity that Charlie didn't dare doubt them for a moment, nor display any sign of surprise.

"All right," he said at last, slapping his open palm on his leg in a motion of defeat. "Just give me a minute to say goodbye to her, and then you two can do… whatever it is you need to do."

There were no words to express the overwhelming joy, gratitude, and relief I felt at this moment. I was no longer able to maintain the façade of being a serious medical student. Instead, it was all I could do to keep my smiling mouth clamped shut, lest Charlie see my fierce, glistening teeth and rescind his decision in alarm. Fortunately, Charlie's attention was not focused on me, but on the single task of how to say goodbye to his daughter. Nevertheless, he, too, felt optimism creeping in and taking over the cloud of depression he'd known so well since Bella had fallen ill.

He trudged up the stairs, muttering so quietly that he assumed we couldn't hear. "Knew I'd have to say goodbye soon. Thought it'd be for a different reason. Guess this is better."

"Bella?" He called this out more loudly as he reached her door. She stirred slightly in her semi-conscious state, bringing herself into wakefulness.

"Hi Dad," she croaked. "Have you eaten anything today? You look so thin."

"Bella," Charlie sighed, exasperated. "I keep telling you not to worry so much about me."

"You're the one that's going to… There's no reason for me to worry about myself anymore," Bella replied, quickly stopping herself from telling Charlie that he was the one who was going to _live_. Nonetheless, we had all heard the unspoken word hanging in the air.

"Bells, I've got some news for you," Charlie told her. "Dr. Cullen and his assistant have a new treatment they're going to try."

"Will it hurt?" Bella asked, biting her lip anxiously.

"I'm sorry, yes," Carlisle acknowledged. "But only for a few days."

"What does it do?" Bella was intelligent enough to have realized that no treatment would send her into remission by now, and she was likely wondering how much time it would buy her.

"Bella, it's—you're going to be okay," Charlie told her firmly. "We won't be seeing each other again. But you'll be taken care of."

Bella's eyes widened, and it pained me to hear her speak, knowing that every word she forced through her lips brought her untold agony. "Dad, no! Who will take care of you?"

"I'll be fine, Bells," he told her gently. "I just want you to be happy. Please Bella. Please do this. For me."

Father and daughter stared at one another for several moments, saying nothing, but exchanging a lifetime of feelings with their eyes which they could never put into words. "Okay Dad. If it's what you want," she said at last.

Still not thinking of herself, even as her life pulled away from her by inches.

"It is," Charlie told her. He leaned in to kiss her forehead. "Goodbye Bella. I love you."

"Love you too, Dad," Bella sighed and lapsed back into her semi-conscious state.

Charlie stood over her near-lifeless body for a few more minutes, staring as vague images of a little girl with long dark hair pranced clumsily through his memory. "Goodbye," he whispered once more, running his hand gently over her short hair before turning away to face Carlisle, standing in the doorway. I stood just behind him, not having wanted Bella to see me and be distracted by the presence of a strange man.

"Gentlemen," he said, nodding bravely to us before leaving the room. He understood that whatever happened next was not something he should see. He went downstairs and I could tell that his mind was working on solving something, probably the puzzle of what he would tell all of her friends about why there was to be no viewing after she "succumbed following a long battle with cancer."

"We should take her home first," Carlisle told me. "We don't want anyone to hear her screaming."

I nodded and set about helping Carlisle quickly disconnect Bella from all of the wires and machines that were uselessly working to sustain her life. I lifted her up from the bed, careful to ensure that her head was supported, while Charlie went ahead to confirm that no one was lingering outside the house who would see us leaving with Bella.

The sun had just set. _Twilight. The safest time for us,_ I had once told Bella. Other families in the neighborhood were inside, eating dinner, watching television, enjoying their time together. Here in the Swan house, a life was ending and beginning all at the same time, while a family of two once more returned to one.

"I'll come back tomorrow for my car," Carlisle called to Charlie. "I'll be able to let you know for sure how the treatment is progressing." Charlie nodded, not bothering to question how Carlisle was getting home. He probably assumed that I'd arrived in a car as well and that we were taking it.

In reality, the car was simply too slow for our purposes, particularly as it was limited to driving on roads. We ran straight to the home of my family, the home that had never housed Edward Cullen. During the trip, Bella stirred in the cool October air, blinking and focusing her eyes on my face.

"It's over, Bella," I whispered to her, lightly tracing her face with the hand that cradled her head. I knew that I should be suffering at watching her die, but I also knew that she wasn't going to die at all, and that in three short days, she would never have to worry about being sick again. Her illness, my suffering. It was all over. Finally, we would be together. Nothing stood in our way.

"An angel," she murmured. "It's over? Is this heaven?"

In spite of everything, a soft chuckle escaped from my throat. She'd misunderstood my words to mean that she had died, drawing the only conclusion that was possible for her at this point. "Not yet, love," I told her.

Bella struggled to keep her eyes open, staring at my face. "You can go back to sleep," I said quietly.

"I don't want to sleep," she answered, her words firm despite her condition.

"All right. You never have to do anything you don't want to do."

Bella sighed contentedly, somehow able to ignore the excruciating pain she must be feeling due to her illness. "I just want to look at you," she said.

"You're on a lot of medications," I informed her, grinning.

"That's true. But you're so…" She couldn't seem to find the words to describe how she thought of my appearance. I swelled internally with happiness. She was going to love me too.

By then, we had reached the house. I paused, waiting for Carlisle to catch up so that he could open the door. He reached the house only a few seconds after I did and let me in.

I ignored the flurry of questions that accompanied my return to the house, particularly with a dying human girl in my arms. I carried her swiftly to the couch, where Emmett quickly moved out of the way without so much as a word being exchanged between us. He could see what I was trying to do, and he made no attempt to talk me out of it. Although he didn't know me, Emmett could see that this was important to me, and he gently took Bella's legs and helped me lay her out on the couch. I felt a new surge of love for my brother. I had always known he was a kindhearted person, but the fact that he would so willingly help a stranger without questioning his motives brought me a new level of respect for Emmett.

"What do you think you're doing?" It was Rosalie who spoke, chastising Carlisle. "We don't even know him. You're just going to let him use our house for whatever he wants?"

"Rosalie," Esme warned her. "You know your father always does what's right."

"What's right for who?" Rosalie retorted.

"I don't know yet, but I know he has his reasons," Esme replied kindly. Rosalie made a tutting sound before declaring that she felt like hunting. Emmett got up to follow her, to which Rosalie insisted that she'd prefer to hunt alone today and left.

Emmett rolled his eyes after she had gone. "I'm used to being in the doghouse," he informed me. "She'll be fine. So what's the story?" Emmett shifted his gaze to Carlisle as he spoke the last sentence. "Daddy, are we gonna have a new little brother and sister?" He grinned, clearly seeing absolutely nothing serious about the present situation.

Alice, who had been silent up to this point, closed her eyes in concentration. "No," she answered. "They're going to leave as soon as the change is over. I don't think we're going to see them again."

Esme seemed saddened by this proclamation, but it was Jasper who spoke. "Then why are we involved? Why this girl? Carlisle, if you change her, it breaks the treaty we have with the wolves. They've been back for three years," he reminded everyone.

"The treaty doesn't cover me," I answered. "I will be more than happy to explain everything to you over the next three days, but first…" I knelt beside Bella, who was still staring at my face, not seeming to pay attention to anything else going on around her. "Bella," I told her gently, "as Carlisle said, this is going to hurt very badly for a few days. It will be over after that, but you won't be human anymore," I explained. "You'll be like me."

"Like you?" Bella's voice was weak, but she sounded incredulous. "I could never be like you. You're beautiful."

I grinned again, this time allowing her to see my teeth. A soft gasp came from Bella. "You weren't kidding when you said you weren't human," she moaned. "I'll really be like you?"

"Yes," I answered quickly. "Do you want to hear all about it now?"

With great effort, Bella shook her head. "Tell me about it after," she whispered solemnly.

"You aren't afraid of what you might become?"

"No," she told me. "Not if I'm going to be like you. You're good. I can tell."

Carlisle was standing just behind me, ready to pull me away if it came to that. I'd told him about how Bella's blood smelled to me, and he wanted to take whatever precautions were necessary. "Emmett, Jasper, I may need your help. We're not sure of his control, but it has to be him to avoid breaking the treaty." Emmett gladly stood at Carlisle's side. Jasper moved as well, but with reluctance.

"Would it surprise you very much if I told you that I've been searching for you for months?" I asked Bella.

"A little," she replied sheepishly.

"It shouldn't. I love you, Isabella Swan," I told her. Before she had time to reply, I leaned in and pressed my lips tenderly against her neck, allowing my teeth to gently penetrate her flesh.


	44. Transformation

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Forty Four – Transformation

In the instant before I felt the warm sensation of Bella's blood reaching my tongue, I reminded myself to stop immediately. Despite my flawless memory, the moment I tasted the indescribable liquid, I completely forgot what I had coached myself to do.

This was a perfect nectar, given to me as some sort of miraculous reward for a deed I hadn't even been aware of performing. That was the only possible explanation for the glorious marvel running down my throat. I was vaguely aware of a familiar voice behind me imploring me to stop, but I ignored it, continuing to drink greedily of the luscious ambrosia that was for me alone. Other sounds came from behind me, and I paid them no mind either.

If I spent the next thousand years searching every word in every language, I would never be able to locate anything that could do justice to the flavorful dish I consumed. I knew that this would be the last time I would ever taste anything so exquisite.

"Edward," the voice behind me was becoming more frantic. Edward, that word meant something to me. But it could never be enough to draw me away from the enticing, satisfying fluid in my mouth.

"Esme!" The voice called out to someone else. Esme was another word I recognized. Esme was important, somehow. Someone I knew.

A second voice had joined the first, this one higher-pitched, more maternal. "Edward, stop," it said. "You're killing the girl." Two sets of hands began pulling at me with considerable strength, but I fought them off, struggling to finish what I'd started and savor the moment.

She may as well have been speaking in gibberish. Those words meant nothing to me. Killing the girl? I couldn't identify any of those syllables as having any connotation which should matter right now. Couldn't they see that I was busy?

"Edward, you're going to kill Bella!" It was the first voice speaking again.

Bella. I recognized that word. It was important. Extremely important. What did it mean? Somehow, I knew that it meant everything.

_Stop_, my mind pleaded.

I couldn't stop.

Yet somehow, I did.

I pulled my teeth away, and the instant I stopped struggling, I was immediately yanked backward by the two sets of hands that had been pulling at me. The female vampire, who I was now beginning to recognize, pinned me to the ground while the male vampire assessed what appeared to be the body of a human lying on a couch.

The room spun for a moment as I licked the last of the blood off of my lips and teeth, and then everything snapped back into place.

Bella.

"Is she all right? I didn't—I couldn't have—" I stammered, gripping at Esme's shirt in a panic. How could it end like this? I'd been through so much to get to her, and then I'd actually murdered her hours before she'd been meant to die anyway. The room was becoming black, matching the color of my heart and soul.

_Thump. Thump._

"Her heart is still beating," Carlisle breathed, relieved. "She's going to be fine."

The room returned to its rightful color, and my fingers slowly loosened their grip on my mother's shirt. I hadn't killed her. I had come close, but I hadn't done it. She was going to survive. Suddenly, I felt as if I had a heart of my own again, and it was soaring like a newborn bird taking its first flight out of the nest of its mother. It was over. It was all over.

I struggled to get up, but Esme kept me pinned down. "I'm all right now," I assured her quietly. "Thank you for stopping me, but I'm under control now."

Hesitantly, she allowed me to rise, still keeping one hand gripped firmly around my arm in case I should need to be restrained again. Instead of protesting, I guided her slowly to the couch, where I gently lifted Bella's head so that I could sit underneath, cradling her in my lap as the venom began to work its way into her system. After a short time, Esme was willing to release her grip and back away, seeing that I was not going to harm the girl again.

"Bella," I told her softly, "in just a few minutes, the venom will work its way into your body, and you'll begin to feel the burning. It will be like nothing you've ever felt before. The pain will be agonizing, unbearable, and you will wish for death, but I promise you that it will be over in three days."

"It burns already," she whimpered. "Will you stay with me?"

"Of course." I offered her my hand, which she took gratefully. Minutes later, she was gripping it with all of her human strength as she began to scream.

I gazed at her, mourning the loss of her human life and immeasurably saddened by the pain she was now undergoing. If I hadn't already known that the agony she endured would be over in three days, I would be tempted to kill her deliberately out of mercy.

"I'll go check on Jasper," Esme announced, having determined that she was no longer needed here. She left the room, and I realized that Carlisle and I were now alone with Bella.

"What happened?" I asked quizzically. "You, Emmett, and Jasper should have been able to easily pull me away. And where did Alice go?"

Carlisle shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry Edward. I should have taken what you told me about the way Bella's blood called to you more seriously. I didn't take into account what would happen once Jasper sensed the way you were feeling while drinking. Suddenly, he wasn't able to distinguish your thirst from his own, and he tried to leap onto Bella himself. Emmett was barely able to pull him away. There was quite a struggle right behind you, but you didn't seem to even notice. Emmett managed to get Jasper outside, and Alice followed to try to calm him down."

"Oh," was all I could muster. I should have anticipated this, considering the way Jasper had reacted when Bella's blood had been split in front of him. Silently, I cursed myself for not demanding that Jasper be sent away. Carlisle, Emmett, and Esme would have been able to pull me away easily, and I wouldn't have come so close to losing Bella once again.

"I'm afraid you'll have a lot to explain once everyone is back," Carlisle informed me.

"There are a few things I'd like to better understand as well, if it's all right with you," I replied. Carlisle inclined his head, encouraging me to ask any questions I may have. "I don't know how much you know about Bella's mother, but it seemed to be a sensitive subject for Charlie."

Carlisle tensed, anger momentarily taking over his features. I had scarcely seen him express this emotion in the nine decades I'd known him. Normally, his anger was reserved for only the most terrible of circumstances. It always faded instantly, and this time was no exception. Still, he had displayed it.

"Her mother left when Bella was just a little girl," he stated flatly.

My eyebrows pulled together in confusion. "Yes, she and Bella moved to Phoenix. Bella came back to live in Forks with her father when she was seventeen. Charlie and Renee always got along amicably though."

Carlisle blinked twice. "That's not exactly the way it happened here," he told me. "She left Charlie _and_ Bella," he said pointedly. "From what little I've been told by the people who lived in town when it happened, Charlie was beside himself. He didn't know how to raise a little girl by himself, but he was left with no choice. For the first couple of years, he was certain that his wife would return. It took him a long time to realize that wasn't going to happen. She didn't call. She didn't write. She never even sent divorce papers. She didn't send her daughter so much as a Christmas card. As I understand it, Bella raised Charlie as much as he raised her."

My jaw flew open in shock. What could have possibly happened to cause Renee to make such a bizarre and uncharacteristic decision? Bella had always described her mother as flighty, making strange choices which often changed from one day to the next, but she was insistent that her mother had always cared deeply for her. I had personally met Renee only once, at the hospital after the incident with James. She had certainly behaved as if her daughter was the most important person in the world to her.

Carlisle's story wasn't yet over. "The year after we moved to Forks, there was a story in the news about a cult in Oregon that had been running for many years. Some of the members took their lives in some type of ritual, while others escaped. Bella's mother was one of the ones who perished. Apparently, she'd been approached by the cult when she was already considering leaving town, and she decided to go with them. They forbade outside contact, and she went along with it. Bella and her father missed a week of school and work. They were devastated. They had no idea that Renee had fallen in with a group like that, since they'd had no contact with her aftershe left. Chief Swan blamed himself for his wife's death, thinking he hadn't done enough to save her. Bella never really knew her mother, but she still felt her loss," he finished sadly.

This actually made sense, in a strange way. Renee struck me as the type of person who was naïve, yet very perceptive at the same time. Cult members who truly believed what they'd been told would have been able to prey on her easily. She would have perceived that they were telling the truth, at least as they saw it. The fact that she constantly changed what she wanted to do in life was evidence of a woman with little self-confidence, exactly the type of person who would readily fall in with a cult. I was silently thankful that Renee hadn't been found by the cult _after_ leaving with Bella.

In a way, it was probably for the best. Bella had no attachment to her mother, and so wouldn't be upset by the prospect of never seeing her again. Further, Renee wouldn't be calling Charlie to find out what happened to Bella. Charlie might be able to be relied upon to lie to his friends and coworkers, but lying to Bella's mother might have proven too difficult for him. As I took in this information, I gazed down at Bella's face, contorted in pain from the transformation. A thought occurred to me, and I turned back to Carlisle once more.

"Bella has lived in Forks her entire life?"

"Yes," he confirmed.

"So she was never a new student at Forks High? There was no specific reason, apart from her own personality, why anyone would have taken notice of her? Including your family?"

"I suppose that's accurate. She had a handful of friends in town, but she seemed to have trouble getting close to anyone, from what I've heard. I'm not a psychiatrist, but I would assume that she would have a lot of fear of abandonment after her mother left. All of her friends left for college, and I don't think she made much effort to stay in touch with them. Her father told me how upsetting it was to him that she didn't receive many get-well cards. I spent a lot of time at her house over the past few weeks," he added.

"And does she have any friends from the Quileute tribe?" I asked carefully.

Carlisle frowned, clearly annoyed about something. "Chief Swan mentioned to me that he had two close friends from La Push, and they both had children close to Bella's age. Only one of them brought his children around, and Bella got along with them for many years. The two older girls moved away several years ago. Bella's father seemed a little uncertain as to the details of why the youngest child stopped coming around, but from my calculations, it seemed to roughly coincide with when we became aware that the wolves had returned. I suspect that was the reason, particularly given that the boy was only male descendant of Ephraim Black."

I sighed, unable to keep myself from being slightly grateful that Jacob Black had not asserted himself into Bella's life in this universe. This meant that the wolves would probably not be arriving at the doorstep in the next three days. I would still have my own universe's Jacob to contend with when I returned, I realized for the first time. Following the course of events that had played out in other universes, he and my own Bella had grown close just before her death. It was therefore unlikely that her return from the grave would go unnoticed. This, however, was such a minuscule price to pay for being with Bella that it scarcely registered in my mind, even now that it had dawned on me.

Bella gripped my hand more tightly. "It hurts," she moaned, but her voice seemed much stronger already than it had been an hour before. The venom had already healed her human ailments, and now it was working on transforming her.

"I know, Bella. I'm so sorry," I told her softly, inhaling her scent as it gradually changed from human to vampire.

Carlisle sat in silence as I spoke reassuring words to Bella, whispering to her, humming the tune I'd once written for her, trying in vain to express with words how much I cared for her. Occasionally, she whimpered, moaned, screamed, or even audibly spoke of the pain, but for the most part, she simply stared at my face. She trembled in agony, and I longed desperately to suck her pain from her body just as I'd sucked out her blood moments ago. If only it were possible for me to endure this suffering on her behalf.

After some time had passed, Emmett and Esme returned. Alice and Jasper came in shortly after them. "I'm sorry," Jasper said sincerely, holding out his hand for me to shake. _He has almost as many scars as I do,_ he thought. _I wonder if his upbringing was anything like mine._ Jasper cringed almost imperceptibly.

I shook his hand. "I should let you all know that my gift is mind reading," I addressed the group, although I looked Jasper in the eye as I spoke. "And to answer your question, my scars are part of a very long story I'd like to wait to tell until Rosalie is back, if you don't mind."

Jasper kept from allowing his jaw to go slack by clenching it. "All right," he replied, sitting in the loveseat neighboring the couch. Alice joined him, resting her hand atop his in a reassuring gesture. I almost wished that I hadn't told anyone about my gift, because suddenly everyone was trying very hard not to think of whichever secrets they had which they didn't want known, which, of course, meant that they thought of precisely those secrets. I groaned inwardly. Of course, I already knew these secrets, having gleaned them over the years from the memories that were, for the most part, shared with my own family. Still, I didn't particularly want to relive the most painful and embarrassing moments of my siblings and parents.

"What's she thinking, then?" Alice asked kindly. "Is she all right?"

"I can't read her mind," I answered. "She has always been the exception. The only one I've ever found."

Alice seemed surprised by this and continued nonplussed. "I don't know if you knew, but we all went to school together. We moved into town a little over five years ago. Bella was a freshman in high school. Rosalie and Jasper started in the same year as her, while Emmett and I started as sophomores." This was slightly different from how we'd worked the ages out in my own universe, but it was a minor detail, and the fact that they had to spread their ages amongst the grades between the four of them so as to look less suspicious easily accounted for this slight difference.

"I suspected that you knew one another," I answered, not yet ready to tell my story.

Alice shook her head. "We didn't really _know _each other. If we'd been in the same year, I might have tried to be friends with her," Alice said, her voice filled with guilt. "Everyone else avoided us like the plague, just like we've come to expect over the years. Bella, though, always seemed like she wanted to be friends, but was just too afraid to say anything. Jasper wouldn't go near her because she smelled too good, and Rosalie… Well, let's just say Rosalie never had much patience for humans. Emmett and I never had any classes with her, but we both noticed her glancing over at our table sometimes, looking like she wanted to introduce herself. Maybe if she had, I would have paid more attention to her and watched her future, and this all would've been avoided." Alice, once again, blamed herself for something that she couldn't possibly have been expected to prevent.

"Alice… Cullen?" Bella winced.

"Hi Bella," Alice answered. "I'm sorry, we're being really rude, talking about you like you're not even there."

"It's… okay," she panted before letting out a wail.

"Oh, poor Bella," Esme fretted. "I wish there was something I could do for her.

"Keep… talking," Bella pleaded. "Voices… so… nice," she finished.

"I'll go see if I can talk Rosalie into coming home so Edward can tell his story without having to repeat himself," Emmett offered. Just as he was preparing to leave though, Rosalie returned. She made a haughty sound at the sight of Bella on the couch and turned to Carlisle.

"I _thought _you decided not to do this again."

"It wasn't Carlisle," I told her. "It was me. I had a very good reason."

Ordinarily, I only had to begin my story with Bella's death. This time, I had to begin with my own transformation and cover the eighty-five years of my life before I'd met her. I spoke slowly, loudly, and clearly so that Bella could hear the tale as well. I would likely need to repeat it for her later anyway, since her human memories would fade away, but she had specifically asked to hear our voices, and I would give her anything she asked for.

I talked through the night, into the morning, and well into the next night. There was so much to cover from my century of life. I lost track of when night became day, and into night again, and still all attention was on me. At one point, I had to pause my story briefly while Carlisle went to retrieve his car and update Charlie on Bella's condition as he'd promised, but otherwise, I simply spoke with virtually no interruption.

My brothers and sisters were shocked to hear that their own Carlisle had suffered in silence for all these years about the boy he never changed. Various members of my family spoke up periodically, particularly when some detail of my own story had been significantly different from what they'd been through together. Carlisle and Esme were upset, but understanding about the years I'd spent feeding on humans. Rosalie was irritated to learn that Carlisle had changed her for my benefit in my timeline, and even more annoyed to find out that I had not been interested in her. Alice was both amused and apologetic to discover that the room she'd taken over had been mine, since, in this world, it had been vacant when she and Jasper had arrived.

When I finally reached the point where Bella had entered my life, no sound could be heard in the room except for my voice and Bella's occasional grunts of distress. I stroked the short hairs on the top of her head each time she cried out, and it seemed to soothe her slightly. Upon learning of my own family's reluctance to accept my devotion to this new human girl in town, each of them in turn allowed their guilt to creep into their minds. Even Rosalie, who still wasn't grasping the appeal that Bella held for me, was sympathetic to my plight, having heard it told in this manner rather than living through it. Alice once again expressed remorse that she had not befriended her own Bella after learning how close the two of them had become in my world.

Jasper quietly got up and left the room after I told of Bella's eighteenth birthday. I could hear his mind lingering outside, still wanting to hear the story, but having no desire to feel the quiet accusations of the others. "It wasn't his fault," I added for his benefit.

When I explained how this incident had led me to leave town, Bella sank her fingernails into the flesh of my arm. She had already been burning for well over two days, and so she had enough strength to make an impression in my skin. "Ow, Bella," I sounded more scolding than I'd meant to.

"Don't," she whispered.

"I won't, ever. I'm so sorry." This Bella's life had been largely shaped by her mother's abandonment, and it would likely take a great deal of time for her to accept that I would never leave her unless and until she asked me to. I didn't mind. I would gladly spend my entire existence proving it to her, if that was what it took. Still, I hoped that she would have a better understanding by the time I finished my tale, and particularly after she completed the change and understood what it felt like to love as a vampire.

"How much could you have really cared for her if you were willing to leave her so readily?" Rosalie sniffed.

"I wasn't _willing_ to leave her," I growled. "I thought it was the only way to protect her. I was wrong. I know that now." Rosalie rolled her eyes, but allowed me to continue.

I'd been dreading telling the part of the story where Bella died. I didn't like to remember that it had happened, and I certainly didn't want Alice to feel any more self-doubt than she did already. Nonetheless, it was an important part of my tale, so I told it, pulling no punches as I spoke.

"What was it like?" Jasper returned inside the house after I spoke of the death of my mate.

"It was… I can't explain it. It was as if she'd taken me with her, but I was still forced to walk the earth. I was empty, hollow. There was nothing but pain. No light in the universe."

Jasper pursed his lips and sat beside Alice again, pulling her close to him. Behind the loveseat, Emmett draped his arm around Rosalie, who gripped his waist tightly. Esme was seated in the chair across from the couch, and Carlisle stood behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders and squeezing lightly. They were all trying to fathom the torment I must have endured, and none of them were able to guess at even one-tenth of one percent of it.

"I almost regret killing James," I informed them, "because I wouldn't have wished that feeling on anyone, not even on Victoria."

I skimmed over the next three years of the tale, since it had been nothing more than a long, black, moonless night for me, skipping ahead to the construction of the device which had ultimately brought me here. I told a number of tales of the other universes I'd visited and how they had turned out.

_He was so important to our lives,_ Carlisle thought, ashamed. _I didn't do the right thing, just as I always feared._

"So you see," I finished my story, "if Carlisle had changed Edward in this world, things would have turned out differently for you, but I would still be searching for Bella. Or, it's possible that I may have given up when I brought my own Alice home. In the end, it was good that he made the choice in this world to allow Edward to die, because it allowed me to find an end to my suffering, and Bella to find an end to hers."

_I suppose that's true…_ Carlisle allowed.

"Is there anything left to tell us right now?" Alice asked politely, not sounding at all bored with my lengthy story.

"I don't think so, unless there are any questions."

"Well, if there are, I think they'll have to wait. Bella will be finished turning in just a few minutes, and she'll be thirsty. I'll help you take her to hunt, and then it looks like you'll be leaving right away. Hmm," she murmured, "I suppose if anyone has any more questions, they should go ahead and ask now," she said cheerfully.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay with us?" Esme asked.

"It's better this way," I said kindly. "You're not used to having us. My own family misses us. Charlie has already accepted that Bella is going to be gone, and everyone who knows her, knows that she was going to be dying soon. We also won't have the wolves to contend with in my universe. They won't be thrilled, but I believe they'll understand, given the circumstances. Also, Rosalie will be coming tomorrow to tear off my arm or whatever she can get her hands on if I don't return home."

"Well, I suppose we can't argue with that," Emmett grinned, and Rosalie punched him in the arm.

Esme smiled at me. "Well, if for any reason you ever need a place to stay, you're welcome to come back and find us. We'd be happy to have you."

"Thank you, that's very kind of you."

Bella let out one final tremendous scream which lasted for nearly a full minute. Her back arched, lifting from the couch. Her eyes were clamped shut, and her heart was pounding frantically, as if it were trying to leap from her chest.

"It's almost over, Bella. Any second now," I assured her.

Her heart thudded for the last time as her body sank back onto the couch. She took several slow, steady breaths, as if waiting for the pain to return. When it did not, she opened her eyes.


	45. The Beginning

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Chapter Forty Five – The Beginning

Bella's control, as I had expected, was remarkable for a newborn. She hadn't spent months preparing for the change, but she still possessed an uncanny capability to hold a conversation and avoid attempting to fight. Jasper hovered needlessly over her while she sat up far more quickly than she'd expected to. She spent several minutes staring at her arms as though she had never seen them before, moving them this way and that. I was slightly surprised to see that she didn't race around the room in fear, as the last Bella had done after I'd watched her transform.

"Bella?" Carlisle approached her carefully, his arms outstretched, palms up, in a gesture meant to display that he meant no harm.

Her head instantly turned to look at him, which caused her to laugh nervously. "Sorry, I'm not quite used to moving like this yet. It's like my body seems to shift as soon as I think about moving."

Jasper frowned, perplexed. _She shouldn't be able to sit there so calmly right now._

"So, what exactly do we eat? I heard your story, and I think I remember most of it. You mentioned that you lived off human blood for awhile, and that seemed to be different from what you normally live off of. I'm sorry if I sound stupid." Bella made eye contact with each member of my family in turn as she spoke, seeming to deliberately avoid looking in my direction. This concerned me greatly. I couldn't possibly have gone through all of this only to be rejected _yet again_ for some reason.

"We feed on the blood of animals," I replied, desperately hoping that she would turn to look at me. When she did not, I became flustered once more at the fact that I couldn't see her thoughts.

Bella nodded, still facing away from me. "Animals, I can handle that," she said cheerfully. She ran her hand across the short hairs atop her head. "Oh no," she cried out. "I was practically bald when I was changed."

Rosalie surprised me by speaking up in response to Bella's concern. The way in which she responded, however, did not shock me in the slightest. "Oh come on," she scoffed. "Our hair _grows_."

"Oh," Bella replied, embarrassed.

I decided to take over the explanation where Rosalie had left off, to help Bella feel a little more comfortable. "Our bodies heal themselves quite rapidly. While most processes associated with aging halt the day we are transformed, cell regeneration continues. This extends to the growth of hair and fingernails. Logically speaking, even as coordinated as we are, we lose hairs occasionally when we get it caught in furniture or get something stuck in it. Jasper grew up fighting other vampires on a regular basis. I'm sure they pulled out quite a few of his hairs along the way. We'd all be bald and with fingernails whittled down to nubs if our hair didn't grow."

Rosalie didn't seem to know when to quit. "Not to mention, grooming standards for hair—head hair _and_ body hair—have changed over the past few decades. If our hair just stayed perpetually the way it was the day we were changed, we'd all look ridiculous, and I promise you I'd be even sourer than I already am."

Bella looked thoughtful for a moment as I stared at her profile. "That makes sense," she murmured. "My throat—"

"That's a burning sensation that I'm afraid never goes away," I told her. "It is soothed dramatically when we hunt animal blood. Human blood quenches it, but as I'm sure you can imagine, it's not a price worth paying for us. Would you like to hunt?"

Bella turned her head back in my direction, but kept her eyes averted from my face. "Yes please."

"Alice, would you mind accompanying us?" I asked. Alice, having already had a vision of me asking this very question, was already standing beside us. "Thank you all so very much for what you've done for me. Words cannot express my gratitude."

"Thank _you_, Edward," Carlisle said quietly. "I always wondered what would have happened if I had changed you. Now I finally know. It may continue to haunt me, seeing what a fine man you became, but at least I suppose my decision served some purpose for you."

"Truly, you have no idea," I grimaced, allowing my thoughts to momentarily drift to how my life could have been. Wandering endlessly, with no Bella at my side, forever lamenting her loss. It would have been an existence, but to call it a life would have been a lie, even if I were in a human body with a beating heart.

I bade my family farewell and reached out for Bella's hand. I wasn't sure whether she was pretending not to see or whether she truly had missed the gesture. She rose on her own and followed Alice out the front door, casting a glance over her shoulder at my family. "Thank you," she said sheepishly.

The silence was maddening. Alice, normally so sociable toward me, was being uncharacteristically reserved. I couldn't figure out exactly why she was behaving this way, because she was loudly singing Bohemian Rhapsody in her head over and over again. She didn't quite have the knack for blocking her thoughts that came with experience, but this method was effective, if irritating. Bella, too, continued to avoid looking in my direction. I had a horrible sinking feeling. Something was wrong. I didn't think I could survive another disappointment. What would I tell Rosalie if I returned home alone? What would I do next?

"I don't foresee any problems," Alice finally said, breaking the silence. _Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening me._

"I don't detect anyone nearby either," I confirmed, ignoring the tune in her mind.

"Are you two my babysitters?" Bella asked, a hint of humor to her voice.

"Something like that," I agreed. "Alice and I have the most useful gifts when it comes to ensuring that you won't accidentally run afoul of a human while hunting. It will be several months, perhaps even years, before you'll be able to be around humans unsupervised. They'll smell very different to you now."

"Like food," Bella grunted. It hadn't been a question.

We found a group of deer in short order, and while Bella struggled with learning how to take them down, I turned to Alice. She was still repeating the same song, and the volume was loud enough that I could have been listening to the band performing live in concert. "Is something wrong?" I asked her.

She blinked, looking back at me through her bright golden eyes. "I'm sorry; I don't mean to be rude. It's just been a confusing few days. From my perspective, you're a strange vampire who showed up that I didn't see coming. You seemed to know us, but we'd never seen you or heard of you. Esme seemed to recognize your name, and that confused the rest of us too. Then you took off with no particular explanation and returned a few hours later with the same human girl, and Carlisle seemed to know you and be willing to do whatever you wanted.

"Once you told your story, it all made perfect sense, of course, but I'm just a little shaken. I spent hours wondering if I was losing my gift. It's also a little unnerving, because you're a complete stranger to me, but you act as if you know everything about me. On top of that, I find out you can hear my thoughts. Worst of all, we found out that Carlisle has been suffering alone with this massive guilt hanging over his head for the past ninety years. He shouldn't have gone through that all alone," she finished, forlorn.

"You're right," I said slowly. "I shouldn't have expected all of you to simply accept my presence here, however temporary it may have been. It was far too much for all of you to process. I'm very sorry. If there had been any way to handle the situation without involving all of you, I would have done so."

"No, it's all right," Alice sighed. "I'm glad that Carlisle got some closure. Just, please forgive me if I find the entire scenario a little overwhelming. Please don't hold it against your own Alice."

"My own Alice sacrificed a great deal on my behalf," I assured her. "I won't give this another thought." I wondered how my own Alice was doing. Had she fully recovered from the incident which had brought me to this universe? I found that I was suddenly anxious to get home.

"I think… I think I'm full," Bella called out. She was half a mile away from us.

"I think I can take it from here," I told Alice. "I'm sorry to have made you uncomfortable."

Alice smiled resolutely. "You would think I'd be able to take things in stride, ever since waking up with absolutely no idea who I was and then finding out that drinking blood and seeing the future wasn't _normal_ of most people."

I chuckled softly. Alice and I went our separate ways, and I caught up to Bella. I silently chastised myself for not giving her more assistance. Her clothes were covered in blood and torn in places. No matter, my Alice would have something less macabre for her to wear. As she heard me approach, she stared directly at her shoes.

"Are you ready to accompany me home?" I asked her.

"I think so," she replied meekly.

At last, my curiosity had gotten the better of me. "Do you not want to come with me?"

Finally, she looked up at me, her wide crimson eyes piercing through me as if I were seeing them for the first time. "I do," she began carefully. "I'm just worried. I heard your story about everything that happened with me, with your own Bella, and I'm not sure if I'm exactly the same as her. I had a different life than she did. She grew up with two parents who loved her. She spent most of her life in another part of the country, with different friends, and her personality may have developed a little differently than mine. What if…" Bella paused, taking in a gulp of air before continuing. "What if I can't live up to her? What if you don't want me after all? I mean, I'm so grateful to you for saving my life," she added quickly, "but I think it might hurt me a lot if you left me. I never believed in love at first sight, until I saw you."

"Is that all that has you worried?" I asked her incredulously. "Bella, there may be aspects of your personality that are different from the Bella from my own universe. Maybe you read a different type of book or prefer a different color than I'd expect. In every way that truly matters though, I'm certain that you are the same person. You have the same kindness and same general nature that I've missed so terribly. I loved my own Bella, and I suppose some part of me will always miss things about her. But I've been given a second chance, and I promise you that I will not squander it by becoming upset over some trivial thing like being surprised to find out that you like soccer."

Bella pursed her lips. "I don't like soccer," she said slowly, breaking into a wide grin.

"I thought you might not," I teased lightly. "I get to have the extraordinary pleasure of getting to know you all over again, learning all the tiny nuances about you that are different, while still being able to be with the woman I love."

"You really love me?"

"More than my own life," I told her.

Bella hesitated for only a moment before firmly grasping my hand. "What are we waiting for? Let's go home."

As we headed to the clearing, I filled Bella in on the details of what to expect from shifting. She wasn't thrilled by the prospect of more pain, but she grudgingly acknowledged that there was no other possible course of action. We couldn't stay here with a group of Cullens who were made somewhat uncomfortable by my presence, not when my own family missed us, and particularly not when Rosalie would be coming for me soon.

Bella did her best to suppress her pained cries as we shifted for the last time. The pain didn't bother me in the slightest. Nothing would ever bother me again.

Once it was over, I was greeted by the sight of my sister Rosalie pacing back and forth. "It's about time you got back," she muttered. "Alice told me how uncomfortable shifting is, and I didn't particularly want to go through it."

"Alice is all right then?" I asked frantically.

"She's still weak, but she's awake and talking. Jasper brought her some small animals to drink, and that seemed to help. Carlisle thinks she'll feel a lot better once she has enough strength to walk on her own and can take out a couple of deer. It might be a few more days before that happens, but we can tell she's going to be just fine." Rosalie nodded her head to Bella in acknowledgement of her presence, but did not greet her. _Her eyes are red?_

"She was just changed," I informed my sister. Rosalie backed away slightly in alarm. "She's not going to hurt you unless you give her a good reason to do so," I added.

"You went out there and found her while she was human and _changed_ her?" Rosalie hissed. "_That's_ what we went through all this for?"

"Rosalie, I know you're used to the idea of Bella having another choice, but in this case, she didn't. She would have been dead within hours."

"Oh. I guess that's all right then," Rosalie said doubtfully.

"We should get home," I said. "We need to decide what to do next. I don't think we can stay in Forks with Bella, considering that she's supposed to be human and dead as far as everyone in town is concerned."

Rosalie huffed her agreement. Bella grasped my hand tightly, unsure what to expect after having observed the tension with my family in the last universe.

She was completely unprepared for the reception she received.

"Bella!" Alice shouted and tried to launch herself off the couch. She managed to lunge forward only a few inches before collapsing on the floor. Jasper hauled her upright and placed her back onto the couch, quietly scolding her for trying to get up.

"Oh Bella, I'm so happy to see you!" Esme was more successful in running over to throw her arms around Bella.

"Hey there sis," Emmett grinned. "Long time, no see. You didn't do anything funny on the way here, did you?"

"Funny?" Bella bit her lip in confusion, which prompted Emmett to go into a series of guffaws.

"Hi Bella," Jasper said calmly. "I guess I don't have to ever worry about wanting to eat you."

"Edward, Bella, it's good to have you both back," Carlisle said kindly, the first of my family to acknowledge my presence as well. I didn't mind. I didn't need the spotlight in the slightest. I had everything I needed in the world.

"Come sit with me, since I can't go over to you," Alice pleaded. Esme released her grip, and Bella made her way gingerly to the couch to sit beside my sister, only to find herself enveloped in yet another gleeful embrace.

"Our family is complete again," Esme said happily. "Let's see to it that it never gets broken up."

"Agreed," I replied happily. I made my way to sit beside Bella and Alice on the couch. "Carlisle, I have so many stories to tell you."

Carlisle moved in a flash to seat himself in the chair across from me, and I had his full attention. I had all the time in the world to tell my story, but I was ready to begin now. With Bella by my side, I was at last, eager for my endless night to continue, unchanging, forevermore.

**Thank you guys so much for all of your support! This is the single longest story I've ever written, and I never really expected it to get any attention. You guys are the best, and it's so bittersweet to be marking this as "complete." **

**As I mentioned before, I'm going to be spending most of November working on an original piece I've had in my head for a little while now, but I do have a few other Twilight fanfics taking up residence in my head. I don't think any of them are quite as ambitious as Multiverse, and I'll tell you up front that they're not all E/B stories. I hope to be seeing you guys around again soon. =)**


	46. Epilogue: A Stitch in Time

**All right, all right, I know I marked the story as "complete," but all day long I felt terribly guilty because **_**I**_** know what happens to Jasper Nine and you guys don't. There simply has never been enough drama between Alice and Jasper to make a proper sequel, and I had a couple of universes I rather loved that ended up on my cutting room floor, so to speak. So here it is…**

**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

Epilogue

(A Stitch in Time)

_Five years later…_

_Ugh._

Edward had told me that shifting universes was "unpleasant," and had gone on to explain that shifting was second only to the pain of transforming. Somehow, I still hadn't been fully prepared for what I'd been facing, day after day, month after month, year after year. A lesser man might have given up. Laid down and died. I, however, had already spent entirely enough of my life laying down and dying. I was a soldier, for Christ's sake. Whatever else I might have become, whatever Jasper Hale had been, Jasper Whitlock was a soldier. I could tolerate pain, if it was for a greater good.

It was with all of this in mind that I shifted once again, part of me wanting to give up, but the soldier in me pressing on. This was going to be just like every other place. No reason to get my hopes up. I'd get to the house, Alice would be there with Jasper, and I'd move along.

Once again, I cautiously approached the house, sniffing the air to determine the number of vampires inside and checking the emotional state of everyone in the house. Unfortunately, it seemed to have been abandoned for quite awhile. It shouldn't come as a huge shock. This wasn't the first time I'd had to go searching for them. Soon, my family in each universe would be moving out of Forks. They'd already lived there for ten years, and it was time they packed up and left. Finding them would start becoming the biggest challenge, and I was _not _looking forward to that. A true soldier doesn't run from a challenge, but easy paths still tend to be preferable.

So far, whenever I'd gone looking, they'd been in Cleveland or Toronto. I headed to Cleveland first, getting lost in my own ponderings as I ran.

I really hadn't had the foggiest idea where to begin or what to do when I'd gotten started. Edward had gone over the rules with me, and I'd gone over them in my mind at every stop, despite the fact that I wasn't exactly prone to forgetting things. Don't get caught. Don't do anything suspicious. Don't eat humans. Don't involve anyone outside the family—avoid involving even the family if you can, to keep the Volturi from ever learning about the device. Most of what he'd said had been common sense, but I had to admit, I probably wouldn't have thought about the Volturi angle. I'd been mildly insulted that Edward had felt the need to tell me not to eat people, but after the first six months, the temptation had started to dawn on me.

It was no secret that the dietary restrictions of my family didn't exactly sit well with me. The funny thing about it is, I never really liked killing humans either. I had to feel their agony, their despair, and their pain every time I took a life. I tried to ignore it, tried not to be a slave to it. Still, I was excited when Alice found me and told me about an alternative. Hell, I was just excited when Alice found me. From that day on, I'd have gladly followed her to the ends of the Earth. If she'd told me that she wanted me to eat a whole pizza that I'd have to regurgitate later, I'd have done it without question. If she'd stood up one day and announced that she really wanted to eat people and join the Volturi, off to Italy we'd have gone. Alice was my world, my light, my life.

That all changed the day that God-forsaken wolf girl killed her.

I was never the same after that. I knew, on some level, the suffering I was inflicting on everyone around me. Unfortunately, that only made me feel worse, which made it even more impossible for me to control my gift, which made them suffer more, which… Let's just say it was a vicious cycle. And through all of it, Alice was gone. She would never, ever be back. I would never again spend five minutes in her presence, never have one moment's relief to my suffering. I could have gone on, if only I could see her one last time. Too bad that wasn't possible.

Then one day, suddenly, it _had _happened. Alice had been there, and she'd been so cheerful, talking about a "big naked guy." I didn't really care what she was talking about. She could've been reading the back of a shampoo bottle, and her voice would have still been the most amazing sound I'd ever heard. I knew it was short-lived, that she'd be gone soon. Then Edward had given me the device, had shown me how to use it, and had set me off into the world—or worlds—to find my own Alice. He'd told me it could take years.

I'd known that was a possibility, but I still hadn't expected it to be the case.

The first time I shifted, I had nervously approached my family's house, sniffing around, trying to gauge how many vampires lived there from a combination of scent and feeling. Once I found Alice inside, I couldn't stop myself from bursting in. It had been a disaster, mainly because apparently being in a universe with two Jaspers had made Alice's head hurt so much she started wailing like a banshee.

And of course, I could feel her pain.

The pain I'd caused her.

After that, I tried _not_ to get involved unless I couldn't tell for certain where Alice and Jasper were. I couldn't stand the idea of causing Alice that much pain. Frankly, I was rather perturbed with the Edward who'd given me the device I used, because I was pretty sure he was subjecting her to it anyway.

That wasn't the only reason I was perturbed with Edward. Every place I visited, it was like the Edward and Bella show. It made sense. He was the only one of us who had been involved with someone while they were human, at least for a significant amount of time. The five minutes Carlisle spent with Esme and Rosalie spent with Emmett before they were turned hardly counted. Plus, Edward was kind of a bonehead. He made a lot of stupid decisions and ridiculous mistakes. Every time he _didn't_ make one of those mistakes, the universe changed.

One place I went, Edward had never left Bella after I'd tried to attack her. He'd had to go on the run with her when he found out Victoria was trying to kill her. The rest of the family had split up to look for her, and only Carlisle and Esme were still at home. That had been a fun one to explain, since they'd assumed at first that I was their own Jasper and that something had happened to their Alice. Of course, he could've just avoided the entire mess by changing her so she could fight Victoria off herself, but my brother was never really one for thinking clearly where Bella was concerned.

In another place I went, I felt so much despair in the house I absolutely _had_ to investigate. After all, what if it had been Alice who was so distraught? But it hadn't, of course. Right after Edward had met Bella, he'd been so hot-and-cold with her. One minute, he wanted to be friends. The next minute, he was telling her to go away and leave him alone. A few days later, he wanted to be pals again. I never understood why Bella hadn't gotten pissed off and given him his walking papers then and there. Well, in this universe, she had. She'd told him he was a creep and she thought it would be best if he'd just leave her alone forever.

At first, he'd tried to stay away from her, but of course he couldn't. Sometimes I thought Rosalie might be right about him being a dimwit. In the end, he'd snuck into her window to watch her sleep, and she'd caught him at it one day and screamed her head off.

This had resulted in Edward's stupidest decision yet. Edward had slipped out the window at his true speed to evade Charlie. Charlie had assumed his daughter had been dreaming when she saw Edward in her room and told her to chill out. Bella had confronted Edward about what she'd seen, and for some stupid reason, he felt compelled to tell her everything while he apologized. Well, he'd started to tell her everything, anyway. As soon as he got the word "vampire" out, Bella had hightailed it to live with her mother.

Alice would check her visions periodically. At one point, she'd sent Bella a letter which basically said that she understood why Bella hated them and was terrified, but she really needed to see a doctor about a serious medical problem. Apparently, Bella had complied and it had saved her life. Not that it was much of a life. Every time Alice looked at Bella's future, she was holed up in her room at her mom's house, wearing a crucifix, clutching a wooden stake, surrounded by garlic and holy water. It would have been funny if it hadn't been so sad. Bella had no idea that those measures were completely worthless if a vampire _actually_ wanted to come after her, since she hadn't taken the time to listen to everything Edward had tried to tell her.

Every time Edward had decided to go talk to her, Alice had visions of Bella flipping out and trying to kill herself, screaming about how she didn't want to live in a world where the mythical creatures were real. So he got to spend the rest of his existence knowing he'd ruined the life of the girl he loved. Certainly explained the bad feelings around the house neatly enough.

On and on it went like that. Sometimes Bella was with that damnable wolf, and I really wished I could rip his throat out. That would have fallen under "doing something suspicious" though. Besides, that _particular _Jacob hadn't killed Edward, hadn't driven Bella mad, and hadn't sent his wolf-girl after Alice. Most of the time though, she was with Edward, and seeing them together reopened the wounds of my own world.

After a few weeks, I began to get the distinct impression that a lot of the human Bellas, in fact, all of the ones who hadn't ended up involved with our family in some way, had fallen ill and died. I managed to spare a tiny corner of emotion for my poor brother and the hopeless task he was out there facing. But in truth, I didn't care that much whether Bella was alive or dead in the universe I ended up in. Sure, she was a nice girl, and I liked her well enough. That didn't mean I had any specific qualms about living in a world where she didn't exist. Not if it meant I could be with Alice.

Every time I went to a new universe and I could tell that Alice was inside and she was all right, it was a mixed bag of emotions for me. Alice was happy. Alice was alive. That made me feel good. But I couldn't see her. Couldn't touch her. Couldn't hold her.

I had just shifted yet again, having just left a universe where Bella had, for some reason, left Edward for Jacob after he was injured by the newborn army. But then she'd gotten sick, and Jacob hadn't been able to bear to watch her die, so he'd brought her to my family, pleading with them to help her. They'd changed her. After that, she couldn't stand to be around him because she could finally smell his wolf stench, and both Edward _and _Jacob were basically following her around nonstop, begging her to take them back. Now _that_ had been funny.

Still, I was getting tired of the Edward and Bella show. It had been entertaining at first, but by now it was just old. Five years and I was still roaming around seeing the results of Edward's various lapses in judgment. It was like being stuck in a horror movie where the girl kept running upstairs and locking herself in the house with the killer, over and over again. All you could do is watch helplessly as the action unfolded, when you just wanted to scream at the hapless idiot for being such a moron.

Before long, I had arrived in Cleveland, and I already knew where my family's house was here, or at least, where it had been in other universes. It was on the outskirts of town, and of course it had been mildly ostentatious with huge windows everywhere, a garage as big as most peoples' houses in town, and its very own Olympic-sized swimming pool. I approached, preparing to take my mental inventory and run back to Forks again. I supposed the one upside to the time that had lapsed was that I wouldn't have to keep going to Forks soon enough.

Everyone seemed happy enough. Quiet contentment and loving nature, that was Esme. Curiosity and compassion, that was Carlisle. Self-absorption with just a hint of caring, that was Rosalie. Good-natured and up for anything, that would be Emmett. Self-conscious and worried, could only be Bella. Edward was happier than I'd ever found him in any other universe. It was like he was constantly reminding himself why his life was great. And Alice and Jasper… Yup, there they were, happy as always. I sighed and tried not to think too much as I started back toward Forks. Edward would have been able to hear my silent inventory, but normally he wrote it off to his own Jasper being in an odd mood. Every once in awhile, he'd come out to investigate and I'd be forced to tell him the whole shebang. I didn't sense any confusion from Edward before I turned around though, so it didn't look like this was going to be one of those times.

And yet, I heard the door open before I had taken even three steps.

"Jasper," Edward called out calmly.

That was definitely a first. Normally, Edward would get all frazzled and worked up when I'd show up, seeing as there was another Jasper inside the house already.

Well, regardless, I was caught. "Hi Edward," I said, working to the best of my ability to maintain the calm atmosphere. It was hard to do when I really just wanted to scream at him about what a fool he was in universe after universe.

"Yes, I'm aware of what a fool I am in most places. I was a fool here too, once."

Upon closer inspection, Edward was covered with scars.

"It's you!" Boy, I wished I'd been able to stop myself before blurting that out. _It's you_ was such a ridiculous sentiment. No matter who you said it to, it was true. They were always them.

Edward chuckled quietly, having a direct line to my thoughts on the topic of my own idiocy. "True enough, but I knew what you meant. And you're correct. I'm the very same Edward you met five years ago. I'd hoped you would be finished by now, but I assume from your presence here that you are not," he said sadly. "Still, you're looking better than you did when last we met."

That part was true enough. Hope was a pretty powerful thing. Being able to occasionally see Alice, and yes, even Edward, was nice too. I felt guilty for how terribly I'd treated Edward when he'd visited my universe. I'd ignored him at first, then when I realized Alice was with him later, I'd assaulted him.

"I'm sure I would have done the same in your position," Edward replied to my thoughts. That was an obnoxious habit I _hadn't_ especially missed. He chuckled again.

"The reason I'm detaining you, Jasper, is because I can help you."

"I'm listening," I replied, not willing to get excited yet. Besides, Edward had already helped me plenty.

"The device I gave you was a sort of prototype. After that, an enhanced version was made. It has a few new features, such as storing the last few universes that were visited. As luck would have it, I stumbled upon a place which will suit your purposes. It was the fourth-to-last universe I visited, and so it will be stored in the device's memory. It can easily be the next, and final, place you visit."

I stared, shocked. Long ago, I had begun to give up on the idea that my journey would ever be over, but I was content enough to keep searching throughout the years, decades, centuries. I had assumed it was the meaning of my existence to continue searching for as long as the world continued to live and breathe around me.

"Wait here," Edward said calmly. He returned a moment later with a device that looked like the one he'd given me five years ago, but with a few extra buttons. "I don't think you'll really need to worry about implanting it, since you'll only need to use it once." He showed me which buttons to press to take me to the fourth-to last universe he'd visited, the one where I should stay. I wondered exactly what the circumstances were in that place, but Edward didn't seem particularly inclined to talk about it. He did tell me, though, that he'd left me a note under a rock, which struck me as being the most hilarious thing anyone had ever said.

Edward held the device out for me to take, which I did gleefully. "Thank you. Again." I paused, feeling as if I should say more. I owed everything to this Edward, native to this universe, who had no special reason for wanting to help me except that he understood my pain as no one else could.

"Not quite 'no one else,'" he said quietly. There was something ominous about his words.

"Things seem to have worked out well for you in the end though," I commented.

"Yes, quite well. The first couple of years were difficult. I had to re-adjust to the differences between this Bella and the one I… lost." Edward choked on the last word, but brightened, presumably because of the Bella he had now. "She's quite remarkable. She's been through much in her relatively short life. Occasionally, she still surprises one of us when she says something a certain way or speaks of a memory of her human life that our own Bella never had, but at the end of the day, she is still Bella, and I will love her always. She didn't argue with me a bit about getting married. Her views on the topic were quite different, due to her altered upbringing."

I noticed the ring on Edward's left hand and smiled. It was almost identical to the one that my own Edward had worn for only a month before he'd been torn apart. His taste in jewelry was the same, at least. The corners of my scarred brother's mouth turned up slightly at my last thought.

"I'm glad things worked out for you. You deserve it. You always did."

"As do you. They will work out for you as well."

The next thing I knew, I was back in the clearing outside Forks once again. I had barely paid attention to where I was going as I ran, so excited was I to finally be reaching the conclusion of this five-year journey. Edward and I had said our goodbyes quite cordially. I hadn't asked whether I'd be seeing him in my final home. It hadn't occurred to me to wonder. Alice would be there. Nothing else mattered.

Nervously, I pressed the buttons Edward had told me to press, and I was off once again.

Pain was nothing.

Alice was everything.

The clearing appeared again, and I immediately searched for the rock Edward had left for me. It was there. No note; it had decomposed into the earth over the last five years, but it was clear that the rock had been deliberately placed here. It was a large rock, and it was normally at the base of a tree where it had probably sat for a century or more.

I ran, faster than I'd ever run in my life, to my family's home in Forks. They were there. Excitement filled me, and I could scarcely contain it. I could smell only five vampires in the house: Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, and…

Alice. She was so sad. She was like I'd been five years before. I tried to send her soothing waves before I knocked at the door, to let her know that everything would be all right, but my efforts couldn't penetrate the shell of despair that surrounded her.

I wouldn't need to ask anyone what had happened. It was plain that Jasper had died.

I knocked at the door, and Carlisle came to open it.

"Jasper? What? How?"

Apparently, Edward had somehow managed to find out the details of this universe without actually paying the Cullens a visit. I had no idea how that was possible, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was the small, downtrodden girl with the gorgeous dark hair who sat forlornly on the couch behind Carlisle. I didn't bother to greet my father. I shoved past him and rushed to her side.

"Alice, Alice honey, it's all going to be all right from now on," I told her, reaching for her hand.

She stared up at me with her blackened eyes, and I got the distinct impression that she hadn't really seen anything clearly in a long time. "Jazz?" Her mood was gradually shifting, her features slowly changing from desolation to delight. She reached out to touch me, to make sure that I was real, and I clutched her hand in mine, silently wondering if I would ever be able to let go.

She threw her other arm around my neck and leapt up from the couch, wrapping her legs around my waist and clinging onto me like a child going for a piggyback ride. "Jasper! It's really you!" I held onto her firmly with both hands, even though I knew I would never need to release her from my grasp for long. Alice lapsed into frantic giggles, inhaling my scent deeply as I did likewise with hers.

We had found one another. Life could begin again.

After several minutes, I remembered that there were four other vampires in the room staring at us. "Um, hello," I said sheepishly. "I don't suppose you have room for a sixth?"

Esme smiled broadly. "We'll have to move. I'll call Bella and Edward in Toronto and see if they have room for six more. If they don't, we'll just have to find a house somewhere with room for eight."

I settled down onto the couch, Alice curled up in my lap. I had quite a long story to tell, but it could wait just a little while longer. I'd been to so many places and seen so many things, but nothing had been as beautiful as the sight before me now.

I didn't need Alice to be psychic to see that my future was clear. As long as she was in it, happiness would follow me wherever I might go.


End file.
